Gift for wedding....money or Gift???

Updated on August 25, 2008
J.S. asks from Cortland, IL
14 answers

I'd like to get some opinions from others out there....I will be going to a friend's wedding in a couple of weeks. My husband and I have known them for about 6 months now. Please keep in mind that I didn't have a wedding or a shower, I got married in a courthouse, so I'm not 100% sure how to go about this. She had her shower about 2 months agao, which I didn't attend since we didn't know eachother very well. We've gotten pretty close over the past couple months. I'm wondering how I should go about a wedding gift. They mentioned that at their shower they didn't get much from their registry, but instead gifts the guests wanted to buy them. So, would it be better if I gave them a check, or should I get them items from their registry instead?? I looked online at the registry & they have pretty simple things listed that I could easily get a lot of, otherwise I could just give them money. They paid for their wedding themselves, so that's why I almost think I should give money, but I wanted to get other opinions too.
Thanks for your input!!
J.

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S.E.

answers from Chicago on

Either is fine but if you go with the gift either give it to them prior or after I would not take it to the wedding. You could also have it sent to them if you buy the gift on-line. Most receptions just have a small table with a card box on it but that is the weddings I have been to.
I actual prefer to give a gift over money because it is more personal. I am just not a fan of giving money but that is me.

S.

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E.W.

answers from Chicago on

We just got married two years ago & we got both.
We like both...we paid for most of the wedding ourselves, and the money we got at the reception only paid for 1/3 of the wedding...so it honestly won't matter either way. The reason they are inviting you is because they want you to share their special day with them...it's not about the gift.
If you want to please them, either will suffice as long as you stick to the registry. You can still bring the gift to the wedding too...some brought them to our wedding and we got some delivered to us...we liked both. It was nice being at my mom's the next day opening the gifts with her, but then we still got some for a few weeks so it was like it didn't stop for a while.
Put it this way..do whichever is convenient to you...they will be happy with either choice!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

Money is always nice. My husband and I were quite surprised at how generous people were. However, it was nice to have all the necessary things we registered for so we weren't spending a lot of money buying everything ourselves. I'd say either way you are doing something for them that they will appreciate. The only frustrating thing was getting gifts I didn't register for. We got pink and purple towels for a navy/white bathroom and a green/gold bathroom????? I didn't know what my aunt was thinking! Soooo, I guess what I'm saying is stick to the registry or give money if you want the bride to be happy. : )

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L.K.

answers from Chicago on

I would give money. Most people give money at the wedding. They can always buy something off the registry later if they have money left over from paying off the wedding :)

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

I don't think you could go wrong by either getting a gift from the registry (most people register for stuff they *need*) or money.

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K.G.

answers from Chicago on

If you give a gift make sure there's a gift receipt. Especially if it's from Target, their return policies are very strict.

I got married a year and a half ago and both gifts and money were greatly appreciated. They will get a combination of both from everyone so I don't think it makes a big difference. (:

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S.

answers from Chicago on

I think that they will be equally pleased if you give them money or a gift. People tend to not give too many actual gifts for weddings, anymore, at least in the Chicagoland area...and it is nice to have a few gifts to open the next day or when you return from your honeymoon.

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M.K.

answers from Chicago on

I really appreciated a gift card from the place I was registered. That way I wasn't tempted to spend the money on bills and was able to get things I wanted from the registry that were not given to us at our shower.

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T.C.

answers from Chicago on

I think if she commented that she didn't get much from her registry, that she'd like a gift from the registry. I would maybe just make sure it's the kind of stuff they "need," or would go out & buy themselves if they didn't get, rather than the "oh this is nice, I'll just stick it on my registry" type things like an expensive picture frame or something that they wouldn't buy if they didn't receive as a gift.

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K.B.

answers from Chicago on

I think you should give them gift certificates for MASSAGES... From my business, Essential Touch Massage,of course!

This WON'T be something EVERYbody else gives them & probably something they won't feel they can indulge in when they've just had their "big day".

I'll make sure their experience is delightful & memorable. They will thank you for the gift of massage long after all the boxes & bows are thrown away & ALL the plates & towels look the same!

You can contact me directly, but be sure to check out the reviews of my business.

K. B. (____@____.com)

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

I think etiquette says to give money or to SEND the gift, not bring it to the wedding. After a wedding, I found it great to have the money in the pocket. Then they can do with it as they please.

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V.

answers from Chicago on

Money. With the insane cost of weddings you cannot go wrong..

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S.G.

answers from Chicago on

give them money..if they're paying for everything, money would be greatly appreciated. My husband and I payed for our wedding also. We had one person whom gave us a gift, which unfortunately got damage while trying to transport it home. It did'nt fit in our car, cuz we threw the birdcage in with all the envelopes. We did'nt see the gift till a month later...we didn't even now who took it for us. and when we did get it, it was broken. The money really helped us out...weddings get pretty expensive and for a couple starting off....a little extra money is always welcomed. good luck

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T.S.

answers from Chicago on

Money. If they are paying for their own wedding, it will help. Plus, sometimes when you register (at least for us), we did it just because we had to and we had some pretty dumb things on there that we didn't really need. :)

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