Go with Doula Friend or Probono Offer for a Doula in Training?

Updated on August 15, 2007
N.S. asks from Chicago, IL
4 answers

I was offered an opportunity to use a doula who is in training and has performed a few births as well as witnessed several (her mother is a doula) but she is young (20's) and I do not personally know her. I'm set to meet her tomorrow. Finances are a serious concern her which is why I considered her n the first place. Then I have a close friend who has offered to be my doula as well and she would be minimal cost of not free as well but she knows where I'm coming from and personally has an interest in my family. The truth is that she has 5 kids and many other responsibilities and my fear is that she won't be focused on me as much because she has to worry about her kids and all that stuff. I know her heart would be in it totally though. I just don't know which is a better choice with regard to the cost, personal situation, and best care. The other thing is that my daughter will G-d willing be at the birth and afterwards so I want to make sure it'll be cool with either one and I don't really know the other person to say she'd be fine with it even if she says she would. Curious what your take on this is, mamas!

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your support and kind words and suggestions! I decided to go with the training doula and she is great. I can only hope she is at birth! I am getting more settled with logistics for the "big day" and hopefully things will work out semi- how I want them!!! Thanks again!

More Answers

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P.L.

answers from Chicago on

Hey N.:

I am a Doula. I am certified with DONA (Doulas of North America), I love what I do and I have never heard from any of the families that I worked with that they were disappointed or that I did not meet their expectations. The reason I say this is that the first half a dozen births I attended were done for free and I obviously had little experience. I have no children and had never attended a birth before.
I don't know if the doula who offered had any training or not, but I read a ton before I attended my first birth, and I had been through extensive training before my first birth, and I was supported by other women in the community whom I was able to call before during and after those first couple of births. I guess what I am saying, is that we all have to start somewhere. I personally would want the doula at my birth. We are professional ( you can count on us being available to you) and we are trained and know, at the minimum, the basics. We are loving and she is willing to do this amazing job without getting paid. She could, realistically, be with you and your family for a couple of days. That is dedication. And the fact that she is 20 I think is great. She probably has a lot of energy and stamina and passion!
I could also suggest having both the doula and your girlfriend with you. Maybe your girlfriend can be your daughter's doula. :)
Feel free to contact me off this list if you have any questions. I love talking about birth...
Good luck to you and your family
P. L. ____@____.com

1 mom found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Chicago on

Can't tell you who to choose but if you're worried about your friend's availability perhaps you could have the doula in training be her back up? Might even be possible to have them tag team if the labor is long or overnight (sorry!). Just some thoughts...good luck with your upcoming birth!

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A.A.

answers from Chicago on

Sounds like you have a wonderful quandry! >wink< I think you'll have a better sense of what direction to go once you have had a chance to meet the DIT. I agree with the other gal who said that it depends on the doula and her preparedness for your birth - we all start somewhere and one advantage of her being new to the business is that she is going to probably work very hard to do her best to support you. It is a thrill and an honor to attend a birth - if she feels that way too she'll give you her very best and want nothing but your trust in return. (I am not certified but have served as a doula... still gaining experience myself - chuckle.) Best wishes for the birth - you'll be terrific!

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R.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi there! Congrats on the new baby and bless you all! When you meet the Doula in training you will have a better idea of what to do. Go with your intuition and get good counsel from loved ones and you'll be fine! I understand your concern about the friend Doula and her being distracted and if you decide to go with the Doula in Training I'm sure your friend will understand.

1 mom found this helpful
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