Going Back to Work? - Manhattan,KS

Well you could work out of your house cutting hair, doing nails and massage. You could have a great business. I go to a women who cuts/colors hair in her home and only charges $50. Alot cheaper then a salon, and you get to keep all that money for yourself.

Well technically... this IS what I do.

I homeschool.
I'm IN school.
I work.

It all works out really really well. I only have to be gone while I'm in class. I study at night, or while kiddo is working on his schoolwork. And I set my own hours as far as my job. So I do some while kiddo is in classes(he's in 1-3 hours of outside classes each day), some at night.

Massage is one of those types of jobs that (if you work for yourself) you can set your own hours. Ditto hair & nails. I know a lot of mums & dads who do beauty or massage out of their home on off hours, or do in-home visits with other people. Of course working for a salon or a massage clinic is totally different. But if you can live on your DH's salary, then every extra $60 is pure bonus money. Even if you only did one massage or haircut a day... 60x7= 420 per week. Knock 1/3 off for taxes and you're bringing in 1200 a month extra. Not too shabby for 1 hour of work per day. Even if it meant 2 hours of actual time.

I would homeschool my kids. That's what I intend to do. Why go back to work if you don't have to? You'll have to do all the stuff you do now, plus work. Don't do it!!! You'll have time later in life to do other stuff. Your kids won't be little forever.

Leslie A. brought up a good alternative option.
I saw a recent TV show, and the wife was a hair stylist, who worked out of her home, cutting hair. Using her garage. That was her "job" working out of their home.

Next, going to school is always good. My Husband works full-time and goes to school part-time... because he can't possibly go to school full-time having to work. I am a SAHM.

But for my Husband... being a student... with a family/kids... is REALLY busy. Whenever my Husband is home, he is studying. CONSTANTLY. I am like a Single parent even though he is home. Studying/school is important... and he nor I can possibly expect him to sacrifice good grades and slip up in studying.
AND if you intend to home-school your kids on top of that and going to school yourself.. it will be very busy. I don't know how you would manage that... ie: how will you go to classes/study yourself... in addition to running a household? AND you would have to schedule your classes around your kids... their pick-up times at school etc., and your 3 year old at home. And you Husband will not be home.
You may possibly even need someone at home, to help babysit or help you... too.

It is GREAT your Husband is supportive of any endeavor you choose. That is a gift.

I wish you all the best, just some ideas as my Husband works and goes to school. And this is what we experience.

good luck,
Susan

Stephanie, what matters is what YOU want. It's pretty difficult for us women to "have it all." We have wants and desires but it sounds like your kids are your first priority. That's the way it was for me too. Lots of Mom's go back to work and still manage to make the kids a priority. Lots of other Mom's are more comfortable staying at home making the kids their priority. I would advise you to be honest with yourself, think positively, and trust all will work out.

I don't think you are selfish at all for wanting to be a SAHM. Just because you are not financially contributing doesn't make what you do any less important. All that said there are ways to earn part-time from home that will help. Lots of us Mom's talk about how we work form home all the time in this forum. You can consider something like that or consider what Leslie A. was saying.

Whatever you decide for now can change later. For example, when that 3 year old is in school full time you may wish to go back to school, or start your own business,.......or wait until that 3 year old is driving. 13 years will go fast.

Sorry, I didn't really give you an answer. I'm just trying to support you going with your heart, while understanding you can change your mind later.

as a retired military wife, I didn't take advantage of the college that is offered to military spouses and now regret it but my kids were little and didn't think I could keep up with school and the kids at the same time especially with hubby being gone more than he was home.

My advice is get all the schooling you can while your husband is active duty. There are a lot of programs and grants out there that you qualify for now that you won't qualify for when he gets out or retires.

As for schooling, if you live on post, the base schools seemed to be great for our kids. They had a lot to offer for the families and they take time for the kids since most of them deal with their parent/parents being gone a lot and the teachers were very positive and cared for the kids. There are programs available for the kids that have separation anxiety. I was impressed with the quality and compassion the military schools seem to have or at least the ones my kids attended. They were always having extra activities going on and getting the parents involved. I haven't seen anything like it in the regular public schools with parent participation. With going to school with other kids that deal with the military life they will understand and help each other.

Most military families don't have a lot of money to get out and do much. We used the base swimming pool which is free, went to church, was involved in family support, went to school events, and the kids played baseball so I was more involved than most spouses but my husband was infantry and was gone all the time so we had to find things to keep us busy that didn't cost a lot of money.

You could cut hair in your home and make extra money on your own time and schedule. I had a friend that was a beautician and she let a few of us know at a FRG meeting and the word got out and she was pretty busy with just the families in our company cutting hair.

Whatever you decide to do especially with homeschooling, just make sure you are happy doing it and not feeling like it is a chore or if you get to the point of dreading it then start them in public school, because it does not do them any good if you aren't excited and positive about teaching, otherwise they will pick up on your attitude and won't feel school is important. If you feel overwhelmed and stressed then re-evaluate and do something different.

Wow, well if it's up to you then you'll probably just have to do some research. I couldn't possibly homeschool my kids, but hey the Duggars ("19 Kids & Counting) do it! I know you may not be happy with the "system" teaching your kids, but there are a lot of great schools out there that care about a kids education. Living paycheck is not really wise because what would happen if something comes up? Your car dies and you need a new one, or you need to head to the ER for your kids or yourself (we all know healthcare is expensive), etc. You have to always prepare yourself.

My husband and I would probably be paycheck to paycheck if he was the only income provider. I understand you want to stay home with the kids. That's how I wanted to do it, but now I have a 2 year old and a 5 week old and I plan to head back to work, but part time. Have you thought of getting a part time job and then getting your cosmetology license? It would help and then you could start your own business and work your OWN hours! Just put your name out there with family members and friends and people will come. All word of mouth! My mom took us to a friend of hers for years when we were young and she did all her work in her home and got to stay home with the kids. She took one room of the home and did strictly hair. Granted she didn't do nails, but you could always do both. There are tons of things you can do, but it's up to you to make the initial decision.

Yes, if it were me, I would say go back to work and get the license so that you can work in the field you enjoy. Sometimes I feel homeschooling isn't wise because how will the kids enteract with other kids their ages? Plus, if they aren't around kids, they won't get germs. On one side that is nice because you won't need to head to the doctor, but then when they go to college, they could be exposed to many germs they had not had and get really sick because they aren't immune to it. So in the long run, they may be out of college for awhile and end up flunking classes because they couldn't be there. Then your kids health is at jeopardy!

You need to weigh the pros and cons of both. Sometimes the mom has to do the sacrificing!

I'm not going to tell you what to do. The ball is in your court!

Good luck with whatever decision you make.

I agree with some other posters - you are making this a little too black and white -- you think you have to choose strictly between school/work and SAHM/homeschool. In reality, you can blend things any way you can make it work. And there are some alternatives you may not have considered - "homeschool" doesnt mean you have to have a full curriculum and spend hours sitting with them and grading papers etc. You can use some software programs that have a complete curriculum with varying levels of interaction from you needed (most self-grade, etc). There are some programs where you can pay extra to have a live teacher take over your part. There are many smaller single subject applications/software/online sites that you can podge together depending on your priority (spelling, history, math, etc). And there are online schools with live teachers, other kids in the class etc. Many people here dont know it, but Missouri has a complete public school online option - it is meant for gifted kids, or those with medical issues, or those with behavior issues or anyone else for whom attending school is not the best option. It is public, which means free if you get a state funded slot, and has live teachers and online seminars etc. And it goes on the record as if they attended "regular" school and is available for K-12th grades. My son attends a private school online instead. He has about 10-15 others in his class, they have conferences several times a week, work on group projects, etc. I can check his homework online from work if I want to (I dont have to, its a real school and the teacher handles all that - but even if he were in public school i would check his work). Otherwise I do virtually nothing for him for school. For more regular social interaction and PE (cant do that online!) he attends a local homeschool coop that has workshops once a week (other parents teaching various workshop subjects including a PE class), and he gets to see the same kids every week and make friends, etc.

I am a single mom who has worked full time (and double time most of it) since my son was born. My son has been in daycare, then private school til 3rd grade, then homeschool 4/5th grade (this was very rough with working so much but it DID work), and in a private online school for 6-8th. He is starting highschool at the same online school in the fall (he loves it). Through all 3 phases, I have always supplemented his education. Either by reading with him when he was little, signing him up for kids cooking classes at dierbergs, sign language lessons, computer software or online sites etc. There are so many ways you can guide their education without doing a total homeschool situtation. He has always "done school" during the summers too (no homework, just reading or online quizzes, watching Nat Geo, etc). Probably my biggest "relief" about not having my son in "normal" school is that I can focus on his education instead of his safety. I can always supplement his learning to enhance a less than stellar school system, but I cant do anything extra about his safety.

The issues people have with homeschool and social interaction are largely based on the public cases of homeschooling where things go wrong I think. In reality, it is up to the parent to ensure that kind of thing doesnt happen, and most parents dont really have to worry about it as much as they think they would. Your kids will still interact with other kids at home (playdates, friends, etc), at church, cousins, etc., and you just make that more of a focus for yourself than before (it largely happens without you realizing it now, later you just have to make sure it continues and be proactive about looking for opportunities and taking advantage of them when they happen). I know a ton of homeschooled kids and none have any issues with social situations - they actually get many benefits from avoiding school. They dont learn that "Mean Girls" type mentality or bullying that is SO common nowadays, they learn to be comfortable socializing with a wide variety of people and ages and sexes, versus school where everyone they socialize with is almost exactly their same age and boys/girls tend to polarize. They tend to be less shy and more outgoing because they dont have the "fear" of authority/punishment (i.e. listen to the teacher all day or get dentention, etc) - in school kids band together against the teacher, who is more of a figurehead and not seen as a real person (I still remember being completely SHOCKED in 3rd or 4th grade when I saw one of my teachers come out of the bathroom in the faculty lounge - it honestly never occured to me they did that :). There are so many more benefits socially that I cant even begin to describe (almost no peer pressure in general but esp drugs, alcohol, etc). Schools have 20-30 kids in a single class - that means there are bound to be some with behaviors you would rather your child not model... but if that is where your kids are spending 8 hours a day they will see it (most kids would never think to do some bad behaviors if they hadnt seen someone else do it first). Not all kids come out great with homeschooling of course, but it doesnt take much effort to ensure they get time with others, and your kids probably already have a lot of social interaction outside school already that wont go away when homeschooling unless you let it. Joining a homeschool co-op is a great idea too - they often organize field trips and have dances (ours has a prom, graduation, teens night out etc). These let your kids get to meet and see the same kids at least regularly, and kids in a homeschool setting like them.

Sorry, didn’t mean to go on a campaign for homeschool, but wanted you to see that you are not limited to the choices you have set out here, and that it is possible to make almost any situation work with some level of homeschooling (homeschool means you can decide the days and times, even months - if you don’t take the whole summer off, your kids don’t need 6 hrs a day - 2-3 hours a day throughout most of the year will cover it). You can get a computer based or online curriculum that you agree with (many are christian, but not all), you can homeschool certain subjects (which could be one day a week if you want to arrange it that way) and use software or coops for others. And as your kids get older, with homeschooling they tend to be more self-sufficient - they can handle 2 hours of assignments on their own (read this book, do these math problems, etc). That leaves you time to go to school too (and your kids can study while you do). You can wait to start working until you get your degree (i.e. "choose" to do homeschool and your school for one year, then migrate to homeschool and work). The choice you make today is not permanent. Some people even put their kids in school for a year, then homeschool a year, then back in school etc. Even with homeschooling you have to change things up - often what works one semester doesn’t the next in terms of schedule or even approach for a kid (my friend has one kid in school because she thrives better there and one kid homeschool because he preferred it).

Hope it works out for you! If you are interested in any of the online sites or software or resources I have tried and would recommend, let me know and I will be happy to share.

Have you thought about doing babysitting at home... or haircare out of your home for extra money? Alot of women I go to church with have done that, the haircare and I do in home daycare... Us military wives gotta stick together...
L., mom of 4

All I can say is that my kids have done wonderfully in public schools. I was fortunate to stay home with each of them until they started school, and then I worked. After my divorce, there was no choice, really.
Being a stay at home mom is amazing, but my kids learned a lot about me being a strong person, intelligent and depended on by others for my work. They never saw it as me choosing someone else over them.
I chose to keep a roof over their heads!
The one good thing about school is that my children were socialized and around other kids and they had their learning experiences and friends and teachers. Going to school was just part of life, whether I was home or not and it made working so much easier because they had their day schedule while I had mine.
Your 3 year old is not too young for preschool. Heck...my daughter was in kindergarten at 4. She was an only child and would have hated being homeschooled even though I did center a lot of our home activities around learning and going to the library, etc.
My kids are pretty independent and self assured and I don't think they were harmed by me working and them going to school, etc. I had to travel and take classes for my work and I hated being away from my kids during that time, but they weren't affected in a bad way by any of it.

Maybe go back to work part time or take classes part time while your kids are in school and you can have the best of both worlds for a bit.

I wish you the best. Whatever you choose.