I have been at-home full time for 3 1/2 years and am going back to work. What are some things I can do to prepare my kids for the change? My son is 6 and in school, so the only real change for him is that dad will be home when he gets off the bus and will have to do his homework with him. I also have a 3 1/2 year old daughter and a 14 month old daughter. They will be home with dad and will go to Mother's Day Out two days per week after the first of the year (neither one has ever been in any program except for Sunday mornings at church). My 3 1/2 year old DD doesn't handle mom being gone very well and my 14 month old daughter makes up for lost time by waking up in the night when I haven't been around. I'm also concerned about DH doing things completely "his way" and losing total control over what happens during the day with our children and not feeling like mom anymore. This is going to be a hard transition for all of us, and I am just looking for some helpful tips.
Hopefully hubby and you are on the same page as far as schedules.
I think the best advice is that if the kids are fed, clean, and loved, it's all going to sort out. Don't lose your temper if hubby doesn't do things exactly as you do. You will always be mom. Everyone will catch on to the new routine in a couple of weeks.
you are going to have to come to grips with the fact that your husband IS going to do things his way, that you ARE going to lose control over how things are done in the home while you are at work. You will still have some measure of control over what happens when you ARE home - Will you spend this time yelling at your husband for doing things his way, or appreciating his way of showing love and concern for your children? Will you try to undo what he has done? This will only add to the confusion and discomfort of your children - you have to trust that your husband will develop his way of doing things (probably different from yours, but not necessarily wrong), and that he will be doing them to the best of his ability and with love for all members of your family. Try to relax- roles are changing, this can be difficult, but if you can let go perhaps it will be less difficult.
No one says everything has to be done your way, but I bet he will try to do it your way the best he can and maybe through some of his way in the their. As long as the kids are taken care of and the house isn't tipped upside down, relax and good luck on trying to find a job!
Unfortantly there will be a transition period where you two will have new roles and no one can really say how it will work out until it happens. So knowing that you and your hubby will have different roles hopefully he will be more patient and sympathitic to the kids and not loose his cool.
The 14 mth old will probably have the hardest time and maybe that will make your hubby a bit frusterated and test his patience. So this family
will be in the need of a lot of encouragement and support from one another instead of frusteration and anger and impatienance.....( not a good speller here ) I guess what I am saying is how to prepare them is for you and your hubby to be on the same page and to be the best at the new roles you can for the kids to handle their issues.
I went back to work a few months ago after staying home for two years. I was very worried too, but its been a very smooth transition. My daughter was a mama's girl, but she has handled me being gone very well. She gets to spend lots of quality time with her dad, and they have become much closer. I was also plesently surprised how well my husband does! He really stepped up, and he does a great job. On the days I work, he cooks her a healthy dinner, does the dishes, bathes her etc. And he does a great job. Have a little faith in your husband. He might surprise you lol. And kids are very resilient. They adapt to change well, better than we give them credit for. Also, working has been great for me. I love to get out, and feel "important" to someone other than hubby & child. Its so nice to be back out in the "real world", and the extra money is great too. Relax, it will be ok.
