Going on the Potty

Updated on December 07, 2008
S.C. asks from Milford, MI
9 answers

My almost 3 1/2 yo son will NOT poop on the potty. He is completely trained. Will go pee completely independently but if he has to have a bowel movement. He puts on his own pull up and goes into the bathroom. Then asks me to change him into his underwear again....He gets hysterical when I try to put him on the potty. Says he will do it when he gets "big" like Daddy. I have tried rewards, positive reinforcement, even making him stay in his poopy pants for a few minutes longer. I have a big seat insert and tried a small toddler potty..... Nothing is working. Any suggestions. Is this "normal". I hear some toddlers have problems with separation anxiety r/t going to the bathroom. I would love any suggestions you all may have. Happy Holidays!

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S.C.

answers from Lansing on

This is totally normal. He will grow out of it. Get rid of the pull ups or hide them, so it won't be an option for him. See what happens! He may not want to poop in his underwear. The suggestion of sitting him on the toilet backwards is a good one, too! Good luck! I know it's very frustrating!

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C.S.

answers from Detroit on

My son was the same way! You have to get rid of the pull up! If they aren't there he can't use them. You will have a few pairs of messy pants but he's going to hate it and realize the potty is the way to go.
Something I did, and I'm sure others won't agree, but it worked fast, was I took away one of his favorite toys every time he pooped in his pants with NO effort to get to the bathroom. Lets face it, he's not a baby, it's all a power struggle at this point. He's got to learn that you are in control not him. I hope he goes on the potty soon!
Good luck!

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M.H.

answers from Detroit on

Do you still need the pull ups? I know my 3 year old still wears them at night. Maybe you could just put the pull ups where he can't get them. If he has to do it in his underwear he may decide it's not worth it.
Good luck!

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K.W.

answers from Grand Rapids on

You might try sitting him backwards on the toilet, this way they can hang onto the sides so they dont feel like they are going to fall in....Makeing sure his little hinney in far enouch in as to not poop on the seat itself.

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S.W.

answers from Lansing on

Hello S.,

I had the same problem with my now 4 1/2 y/o. She wouldn't poop on the potty, just stuborn about the whole thing. And now other things! One day when it was getting close to her 4th birthday I told her that once she turned 4 she could no longer poop in diapers, that was it, she would have to poop on the pot or in her underwear and sit in it. Then one day a few weeks before her birthday she went into the bathroom all by herself and pooped in the pot. We made a big deal out of it got her something and haven't had a problem since!

Good luck.

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R.G.

answers from Detroit on

I am having the same problem with my 3 year old son. He hides behind the couch and poops. He refuses to use the potty for pooping also. I am at my wits end! Everyone just tells me to give him time. I'm trying to be patient. :)

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M.D.

answers from Detroit on

Hi S.!
I went through the same thing with my son. He is now six. He was almost 3 3/4 before he was poop potty trained. I know how frustrating you feel! Anyways, the only thing that worked for me is a book I got off a website: thepottytrainer.com. It is a book you download. It is pretty much a boot camp for potty training. I made it fun and rewarding too! It still was frustrating though. For a solid week all I did was potty train!! He is my one and only so that helped. Good Luck!

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S.K.

answers from Detroit on

I don't have any advice for this one right now since this is EXACTLY my son. But, we did try taking away the pull ups one day. He said he had to poop and wanted to put on his diaper. We said no to go on the toilet or his potty chair. Instead, he just held his poop for three days! Since then we haven't tried to get rid of the pull ups again. I guess I'd rather have him poop in his diaper than not poop at all.

But I would love to hear everyone's ideas... I'm getting very tired of buying his diapers...

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E.M.

answers from Detroit on

My nephew would not poop on the potty until almost 4; although his biggest problem was constipation. It hurt for him to poop - changed his diet and it helped.

My sister just had it one day and did what someone else suggested - get rid of the pull ups and put on underwear. He did not like going in his pants so much.

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