Going Out at Night

When my son was that age and he went to sleep at 6 or 7 my husband and I would put him the infant carrier and go to dinner. This gave us time to enjoy each other, a good meal, get out of the house and he slept the whole time. It's when they get older that you can't really do this. My son is 16 months now and I have had him on a pretty tight schedule of going to bed between 7:30 and 8:00 so we don't go out on weeknights anymore. Do it now while you can! He will be fine.
B.

I know that you have tons of responses already but I want to echo them... YOU WILL GO CRAZY IF YOU NEVER GET OUT! And enjoy it when they are young enough to go down early and it's great that he sleeps through the night! Pick a night that you're going to do it like the 1st Friday or 2nd and 4th and find a sitter that can do it on those nights (if you like her!) and always go out. If you don't have something planned you might find something else to do!! I was always overwhelmed by dishes, clothes, and other cleaning that I didn't get done while he was awake! Good luck and enjoy!!

Why don't you just let him know that you are concern that he would be the only having fun out, so if you both had hands on it would be a much better for evryone. Also why don't you get a sitter if the baby sleeps thru the night anyway. If the baby sleeps so good, why mess with his/her schedule. Good luck.

I would like to offer that your husband will not gain experience parenting if no one lest him parent. Is the child his? then give him the greatest gift: trusting him to be a good parent, and lovingly teach him the skills. Walk him through stuff a couple of times, and then let him go at it. My husband gets angry when people ask him this question when I have a class or work at night- or am going out with friends: "Are you babysitting the kids tonight?" He firmly responds "Its called parenting, I don't baby sit my own kids."

OUr men partners: they want to be part of our families lives, and sometimes do not know how. Perhaps their male parent was not active in the child rearing of themselves. PLease help them heal this by allowing them to parent. Be compassionate. Remember how freaked out we got as new moms? let them have a learning curve and compassionately teach them... they can be just as good of parents to our children as we are.

And you deserve some adult time, too!

GO for it.

E.

Sounds like you have the best opportunity since your baby goes to bed at 6pm and doesn't wake up till morning (if that's what you meant). Find a sitter that can come before your child goes to sleep and play/do bed time for the last half hour or hour and then your child will know the sitter is there, not mommy and daddy. It's hard at first (for YOU, not really for anyone else) but it gets easier and easier. Your child will react at first to a sitter but as long as you remain relaxed and remember it's a show for you, you'll be fine.

The next step is finding a good sitter. Hopefully you already have one.

G.

I am highly in favor of going out and having Girls Nights, Guys Nights and Couples nights out. I am a mom of three (boys 6 and 4 and a daughter 1.5). You both need it. I can only tell you that on your night out, to suggest a go down rountine and then step back and let your husband have at it. Let him follow or develop a new go down plan for when you are out. It is a great way for him to bond with your youngester as well as give you a well needed break. In terms of couple time out, I would suggest going for either a 7pm dinner or earlier and coming home in time for bedtime if you are worried about a sitter. Your youngester will thank you for the strong bond you and your husband share as a result of these times away. Also, it is a great way to reenergize your minds and develop great parent and non parent friends. If you wait until school time you will be so fried that you will not be healthy. Take advantage of all that is out there for you both. Also, in terms of bringing the little one along, make sure others are as well and one night of throwing off the schedule will not hurt. My kids know now that I am super strict on bedtime schedules all school year and Sunday through Thursday. Fridays or Saturdays the schedule may change. Also, in terms of babysitting sometimes I switch off with a mom. Meaning I watch her child at night while they go and have some couple time and then that mom will watch mine one night for us. We did that when all children were under 2. Now that I have two over 4 and very talkactive I can have a regular babysitter. But I miss the mom switch at times because babysitters are expensive, and mom sitting is not. Plus it was a short vacation for me to do while watching another. My husband always appreciated what we did. Good luck with your choice. But again I say go for it.

Hi BC,

I think there's two things here...1st, yes, with such a dream child as far as sleeping goes, perfect time for a babysitter. Not only will you and your husband be happier, but it starts a good habit. Instead of getting into a rut, your whole family will be in the habit of mom & dad having their time together.

Second, I agree that it seems your husband needs to acquire his parenting skills...I can totally relate with this. When our first was born, I did everything. He would hand our daughter over to me to change her diapers saying that he didn't have experience with "girl parts". Well, part of this was my fault, too. I guess I thought it would be easier to do it myself and I A. somewhat of a control freak, so I really didn't let him do things his way - maybe it wasn't perfect, but it encouraged his participation. Anyway, eventually it hit me when he referred to watching our daughter when I was going out with some friends as "babysitting". So, I had to advise him that when you are the PARENT, it is not called babysitting. So he did more on his own...made mistakes and learned from them, as we all do.

I hope this helps, you're in great position with your little one to get a babysitter. Have daddy take over some stuff with your little guy, it will also encourage bonding between them. Good luck and I hope you get to go out and have some fun together!

Definitly a babysitter is important but it sounds to me like you are looking for advice to take your son with you. If you are going to peoples homes take a pac and play with you and put it in a darkened room then when your baby is tired or it is his bed time put him in it just like you are at home. My friends did that all the time at our house. She would even bath her in my sink (baby expected that as part of her routine)and then put her in the "bed". They never had a problem and when they were ready to go-transfer her the the car seat and go home. The baby stayed on her scedule and is almost 3 now. This was very helpful as they were starting to get cabin fever too(they started at 6 months).
The first time they tried to come over they did not bring the pac and play and had to leave earlier then they wanted because the baby was cranky.
They would come over like once a week with the pac and play. We would have a great time-order pizza or other food in and have fun together-try it!
If you go out to dinner go at 5 and at 6 or his bed time put him in the car seat, maybe he will fall asleep on his own. My kids did that with out problems and 1 it teaches them to be able to fall asleep anywhere and 2 it teaches them early how to behave in public places. I always brought my kids with. I did not want to feel they were keeping me back. They always behaved perfectly! They are 17 and 21 now.

BC,
Get a babysitter! I know it's hard and it was (and is) for me but if your son is consistently sleeping through the night he should be able to sleep while you all are having dinner at your friends. My mother-in-law and my best friends mom love to watch my daughter (7 months old) even if they are watching her while she is sleeping. Give them all that they may need and it should be fine. Ask your family members, I've found that they really do want to be a part of your child's life but don't want to step on your toes! Or take your son with you and let him sleep on your friends beds or bring a pack and play. My husband played in a charity softball tournament last weekend so we all went and she slept in her pack and play at a friends house while we are visited and ate between games. Babies are more flexible that we often let them be.

M. P

you're lucky your baby is such a good and stable sleeper at night... and predictable.

Since your baby is currently a good sleeper...by all means, go out with Hubby. Keep in mind, that the sleep patterns of babies often are "not" static, and will/can change. SO... since your baby is now sleeping well, at the moment...go for it!

Just get a babysitter you trust or a family member to keep an eye on baby.

As a new parent... it is difficult to go out at night, much less even have a "social calendar." But... you will work it out as you can. Nothing wrong with that. Eventually, you will start to have socials with other couples who have babies too...thereby you can also bring your baby. But going to "adult only" outings are also very enjoyable and a great break for Parents.

For the future... make sure that your Hubby DOES learn and get more comfortable with the Parenting details....so that YOU can then go out and have your own solo or girlfriend's outings too. THIS is important for any Mom. Otherwise, it will end up that you are always the one who has to stay home, while Hubby goes out and has bonding with the guys. There WILL also be times when you just want to go out BY YOURSELF... and take a break. So, discuss that with Hubby too...in advance... so you can both SHARE the Parenting roles adeptly and fairly.

No matter what, the "social life" of new Parents will be altered. It's just the way it is. And, on the flip-side... other friends have to adjust to that too... (especially the one's who do not have kids)... because they can't expect you and Hubby to go out whenever and where-ever anymore...much less bringing baby to a noisy bar venue or late hours. For example: once our close Friend was going to have a BBQ party at night (when kids are typically sleeping)...(this couple does not have kids)- But, my Hubby suggested they have the party earlier like 11:30 for an early lunch because we have kids and our son has a certain nap schedule etc., and we cannot attend otherwise or just he will attend but without our family. So, the party time was changed, and then "coincidently" it turned out that the other couples with children also "decided" to attend after all. This was a good friend of ours so it was fine that the party time was changed- So, just an example of how it is with kids... and coordinating all that going out details.

But really, you and Hubby probably have to talk about "socializing" now that you are Parents. HOW is it going to change, HOW is it going to be done fairly, HOW is it going to be scheduled??? Granted, socializing every weekend it NOT going to be as feasible now with a baby. Some parents I know still keep up their busy socials and after-work socials...but, then their children hardly see them. Or, some Parents just take their baby/children everywhere they go...but then the children have no stability and their needs are not a priority since they are always on the go more than they are at home. In either scenario... the baby/children are just having to follow along to whatever the Parents are doing.

I know of a Mom (A SAHM) for example, that has 2 very young children. She is a social and very independent person... whenever I see her around town she is always by herself and without her kids. The REASON is: she always has her kids at the baby-sitter's even if she does not need to, and the running "joke" of this lady is that she spends more time on herself than she does on her kids and the babysitter is more of a Mom than she is. Even her own Parents say this. Oops! - well just an example.

It will really depend on lifestyle, what you want for baby, what baby "needs", how much social time and going out Hubby wants/needs, and what YOU need. Most of the time, it is the Wife/Mother who sacrifices the most... so head's up. No matter what.. it will be the Mom who is the one who has to soothe the baby the most and tend to it. So, you MUST make sure that you and Hubby are BOTH doing the Parenting. Not just you. It has to be equitable as possible.

My kids are also good nappers, I have them on a schedule, and they sleep pretty predictably at night now too... so per this routine I have with my kids... I don't mess with it, because I don't want the problem of having to get them back on track again. So.. I just do things, have outings, do appointments, go on Dates with Hubby, all around this schedule. It really works out... and most of all, it's do-able.

Find what works for you & Hubby. Every couple is different.
Have fun and good luck!
~Susan

Why not have someone babysit while you go out? Your child is still at home in his regular routine and you and your husband can go have a good time. Bringing your son would only mess with his comfortable routine and he would probably be crankly the whole time which would take away from you being able to socialize. I want to tell you that when we had our son I was the mom who wanted to keep him home with me until he started school and only trust certain family members to care for him...that does work for some families but it didn't work for ours and I had to rethink my own rigidness for things to be the way I wanted them because it started to take a toll on my own well being. Parents need to be able to "roll with the punches" because life isn't perfect and children are dynamic. Right now everything seems pretty simple and you probably think it will always be this simple...sadly no matter what I say you will still think that you are different and it will be different for you but someday you will be me telling someone like you the same things I am telling you. If you take anything from this post make it this...Remember that life isn't always what we plan for but it's life and we embrace it". You need to giver yourself time to have a good time and not have to care for your child 24/7 and it's a bonus that he sleeps like he does so you do have to worry as much while you are out and he is with a sitter. Best wishes.

It is time for you to go out. Your son is old enough. You can go out with him but most important, have a date night with your husband. Get a sitter and go some where close the first time. You will enjoy and recharge yourself with your new found independence. I think it is important that kids learn independence from you as well. It will be harder to get away from him later. Or, have a girls night out and then your husband can watch him. I don't know many men who are first time fathers that have experience with the parenting thing but they do figure out what they need to know.
Have fun!!

I'm sure that you've heard the same over and over again. However, I'll lend my two cents too. Please, please get out. If you have to ease yourself into it, do so, but you could just go. We've (my husband and I) benefited from taking time out by ourselves. (Individually and together.) Your husband needs to have opportunities to bond with your son. He needs to be able to know he can handle your son without you. Your son will start getting very fun for him soon. Your husband also needs to have a relationship with you. One of the best ways to have that is to return to normalcy as best you can as soon as you can. I think it is great that your husband wants to go out with people and with you as well. Have people over, go out with your husband (while a trusted person is watching your son), go out with your son (if you think he'll still be able to sleep). What ever you do don't let yourself get trapped at home and don't trap your husband either. Your son is in a perfect situation to allow you to smoothly add going out to your regular routine. I hope you find a way to take care of your needs and your husband's needs too. Good Luck!!

Couple things to think about...

1) find a trustworthy babysitter and schedule a regular date night. It does wonders for keeping a marriage solid.

2) Dad needs to learn to parent. You may want to consider showing Dad how to do things and taking yourself to a movie so he can practice. He'll find his own style, although it may be different from yours. Unless the baby is in danger or neglected this is ok!

3) If bringing baby to the party is a must for some reason, bring your sitter, too. That way the sitter can "nanny" the baby while you enjoy yourself.

Last but not least...
4) It's never too early to start baby on how to behave in a restaurant. My husband and I used to take our six-week old out to nice(er) dinners all the time. Of course, this took planning: nurse/feed baby first, have no-noise toys and an escape plan. My sons are now 10 and 14 and can properly conduct themselves in any restaurant from fast food to fine dining.

The end result of all this...the occasional "over night getaway" with hubby. That does even bigger wonders for one's marriage. <wink> This actually takes more practice for you than for baby. My first weekend away was awful and I had to come home early. I tore into the house expecting a disaster and I found my sitter, her older sister and my baby have a grand old time! They had even taken pictures of their whole time with my son so I wouldn't feel left out. A few years later, at the tender age of 4, my son proposed to this sitter! Another kodak moment...

Good luck!

B C,

I think it is a great idea to have someone watch your child. My husband and I went to dinner when our son was just a few weeks old and then the river when our son was just 2 mos old. We had grandma watch him. It felt great to get away. You and your husband need to have that alone time with one another or with friends. It is a great way to release stress and to connect with each other. Do not feel guilty about it, a lot of people think that since you have a child your world before should come to an end. Do not let it, I have had friends in the past do that and they were miserable. The more you both get out with each other or with the baby the better you will feel. Take your beautiful baby to dinner with you both one night too. My husband and I take our son everywhere with us. He is 3 now, but we have never had any problems in a restaurant or anywhere else. In fact we have been told how wonderfully behaved he is. Enjoy yourselves, you both deserve it.

B C -

I think that it's very normal and healthy to want to go out. Of course you would need a babysitter and it's not something you want to do every night, but you need to nourish all the relationships in your life and it's very easy to get stuck into the role of "mommy" and forget about the rest of you. My only advice would be to find a babysitter that your son knows, that way if he happens to wake up while you are gone, he can be soothed by a familiar face.

Find a babysitter and go have a little fun!

Umm.....babysitter? Why do you have to take your Son out at night every time?
I understand evenings out at others houses that have children, and you'd probobly bring him there. But you and your husband NEED to go out alone! We are alone where we live, no relatives, but we basically asked friends for favors.
Do whatever you have to do to get somebody you trust to babysit. It is worth it!!!
And if your Son is already asleep and rarely wakes up, that's great. We used to just wait until he was asleep, have a friend over who he had seen before, and we went out.
As far as the responsibilities while out with him, they should be shared. We now have 2 so it is basically man on man, but when we had just our Son we basically took little "shifts". Tag your turn!

Good luck!

BC,

I have to ask how old are you two? I know that may be an issue at first(to go out)but you must now welcome and adjust to parenthood, and take responsibility for your family structure and lifestyle. Though going out from time to time is good for couples, a regular basis is not letting go of what you chose to by having babies. You want your children to grow up in a close, dependable family, with solid bond and trust. It is now time to move into a different level of love and life. It is a shift, and embrace it. We should all look at these "shifts" as gifts of learning, and we can actually enjoy our journey with our family surrounding us.

Wendy

Sounds like a good opportunity for a babysitter to me!! Just put to boy down at 6pm and make reservations for 6:30!! The teenager from next door can hang out and do her homework, watch TV and eat all your chips while making $10/hour and you and your husband can have a nice evening!!

Drop him off at grandma's or a friends for an overnighter. You do not have to be house bound. It's not fair to you if your husband goes out without you, unless you take turns.

Yes, hire a sitter. It is important to start having some couple's time again. If you have family to sit with the baby while the baby sleeps that is good too.

The first time is the hardest but, now the mom of a 3 yr. old and an 11 mo. old I take EVERYONE up on their offer to babysit! It's good to know I am still an adult and not just a mommy.

There certainly is nothing wrong with going out once in awhile at night once baby is asleep, provided there is someone you trust watching your baby.

When we lived close to my parents, we would have them babysit our son about once a month so we could go for dinner and a movie.

Now that we have two kids and live about 1.5 hours away from my family it's a lot harder to get "couple" time. But whenever any relatives are visiting, we try to go out once while they are here.

But if your DH is thinking that it's okay to go out partying all the time, then that's not okay.

DH and I will also take turns having Mommy or Daddy night outs with friends while the other stays home to take care of the kids.

At 7 months, you have just a small window left where you can go out and let the baby sleep in the car seat carrier. I would try it an see how it goes. Otherwise, take turns going out, or get a babysitter.

I have been married for 47 yrs and the reason why is because my husband and I were a couple before our three sons came along and we always remembered that we are a couple first.............
It is appropriate to take your baby to someplaces and not appropriate for others. You and your husband need to be alone together without the baby............Get a babysitter or parents to keep the baby or a friend and definitely socialize at least once a week for a date night..........this is sooooo important, don't underestimate it.

If he goes to bed at 6:00, get a babysitter starting at 6:30 and go out to dinner with your husband. :)

i never take my son with me..i always have a babysitter..luckily i have my parents and his father's mom..sometimes his father..we're not together but he'll come and sit and watch tv once in a blue moon. Can u find a babysitter? get your son off to bed then go out for a few hours. in pasadena there's also a placed called Kids Klub and they babysit at night at the preschool..it's $7.50 an hour and they get the kids off to bed
maybe you can find a place like that? that has a good rep?

BC,
get a sitter, or have friends over for dinner at your house. Continuing to Socialize with friends makes for happier parents which in turn make happier children.

that's a lot of sleep. My son went to sleep at 7:30 (dinner at 6) and then it was 8 and now more like 8:30. Even though you do need to let the baby sleep. You should try not to let the baby rule your schedule. My husband and I go out to dinner and out with friends all the time. When the baby gets tired, he will sleep. It might be tough to adjust the baby's schedule at first. But your life shouldn't stop because you have kids. In fact, I think it is good for them to get out of the house and learn how to behave at friends homes or in a restaurant.
Good Luck! I hope everything works out.

Now is the time to go and socilize. If you make it a habit now, when he gets older, it will be second nature and there won't be a problem with a sitter. It also helps with your mariage. My husband & I go out every week. We have been together for 16 years now.

J.

Hire a babysitter and go out as a couple. It is important to have time together outside of the baby.

Go out! With or without the baby. We took our 1st everywhere with us. Of course some places will be easier than others, so decide if you want to have someone you trust watch him while you go out. do make sure both you and your husband have an understanding with each other. you are right to worry about him leaving you to tend to the baby while he relaxes and socializes. but i'm sure all you have to do is ask and he'll be more than willing. my husband was. :)

I'm not sure I'm getting this. Are you saying your husband wants to go out or you both want to go out together? You're extremely lucky your baby sleeps 12 to 13 hours straight. I say get a sitter and go out and have some fun. There's nothing wrong with that. If your husband is talking about you staying home while he goes out, well you'll have to think about whether that's something you're comfortable with. If so, then you can have a night out for yourself also. As far as his inexperience as a parent, well he's a parent now so he's gotta start somewhere, and he'd have it nice and easy if the baby sleeps that long anyway. Good luck.

It sounds like you have a great routine. If your baby goes to sleep at 6pm and doesn't wake, it sound like a perfect senario to put the baby to sleep and then go out. You have it great!

The sitter is the way to go! Have a wonderful time out with you husband!

I agree with what Kelly D wrote. When you go out together with your baby, tag team taking care of your baby's needs. It is the way to go. The last thing you want to cultivate is a bonding disorder between your husband and child.

Praise what your husband does well, ask him what he feels he is doing well, grow in baby steps-encourage him to make one goal of improvement at a time.

Hi B C,I'm not sure what you are asking, But let me share this with you, new parents need time alone and time together, it will make you both better parents. Since your son sleeps early and through the night, maybe you can get a sitter once a week so you and your husband can go outto a movie or dinner, or walk on the beach while it is still warm. I wouldn't take your son out during the time that he is usually a sleep, because you don't want to change a good thing. My husband and i had 3 kids, when our first born (a son ) turned 12 we started dating again and he took care of his younger brother and sister, for us it was worth the wait, cause we didn'[t have to trust someone with our kids, and our son was very smart and mature at 12. Now our kids are 24,( married ) 21, and 19, weve been married for 27 years, and we still date. J.

It's so hard - of course you deserve to go out but it's so difficult! We have an eight-month-old, and we go out occationally (my parents are in town so we are extremely lucky) and it has been fine, wonderful even. My hubby and I had a little too much wine at our date dinner and we started laughing and laughing and I remember feeling like such a regular grown-up, I highly recommed it! But the other thing we have been doing to great success is having people over to our house. We'll all play with the baby and then I will retreat for the bath/book/bottle for about 45 minutes and put the baby to sleep. We make everyone stay outside and hang out and be very quiet inside (but they can be loud outside). We have been able to attend parties very well when we have them at our house. Sometimes it doesn't work and the baby cries and someone can't enjoy the company, but for the most part the baby sleeps and we all hang out and have a great time! Then people leave late, but we were able to be there the whole time and maybe even have a beer rather than having to leave and go home to put the baby to sleep.

When our eldest daughter was a baby, we'd switch babysitting duties with another another family whose daughter was a baby, too. One weekend my husband and I would go out while they came to our house, the next weekend we'd go their house so they could go out. There was no cost, the child without parents was in their own home, and this worked really well. Good luck.

Dear B C,

Now, now, now, now, now. There is a way to solve this ....hire a baby sitter. I know, it is expensive....well talk it over with your husband, he is the one that wants to go out. You deserve to go too. So, maybe he can set aside a certain amount to pay the sitter. I have no idea what enormous amount it must cost nowadays, so maybe I am out of order mentioning it.

Do you have a mother or sister or mother in law who wouldn't mind coming over to baby sit?

You are right, and thank goodness you realize that your husband has not much experience with parenting. So, maybe you could explain in a quiet loving way that babies are first. Dads certainly are first and a half, but for now this baby needs to be in his own bed and own home and I hope that you can work this out.

C. N.

We have friends that come over with little ones once a week and we just all put our kids to bed at the same time...they bring pack n plays to put their kids in. Then we just all hang out until 11 or so then they transfer their kids to their car seats and they fall right back asleep. If you do it now while your baby is young it'll be easier. Of course hiring a babysitting is less stressful, but it's not always a viable solution. This way you can go out more often. Good luck!

You definitely need to go out a couple of times a month at least. It's good for the baby to get used to being with other people and it's good for your relationship. Sometimes, if we couldn't get a babysitter we would take our son with us to dinner or parties. We would carry him in his infant car seat. He would either sleep or hang out with us. You should also talk to your husband about helping with the parenting so he can take some of the pressure off you. That way you can go out together with the baby and take turns taking care of him. Just because he's not used to taking care of the baby doesn't mean that he shouldn't do it.

Good luck!

I have 2 boys, ages 3 and 2, and we have been a little bit housebound since the first was born. I wouldn't recommend going out at night with the baby. My kids have a relatively early bed time and I never keep my kids up past bedtime unless it is an unusual circumstance. I have made some members of my family angry with this when I have had to leave family parties a little early, but I don't think it is worth it to deprive my kids of sleep. They suffer (and of course Mommy does, too, with overtired kids!). Now that they are getting older, the "unusual circumstances" that keep them up later can happen a little more frequently and it does not adversely affect them.
But, by all means, get a babysitter if you can! It would be great for you and your husband to get out together and just be "husband and wife." It's a good idea to do this regularly and have a weekly date night if you are able to. But especially if baby is sleeping - go play! You can still get home at a reasonable time and have a good night sleep before baby wakes in the morning.

I have a 5 month old and I have gone out twice. I had my sister come over and saty with her after she had gone to sleep. You may not be able to dinner at friends houses due to the time but you can go to a later dinner together and invite the friends to join you. You will find that the fun you remember isn't the same, you miss your lil squirt the whole time, but it is still good to keep a bit of adult activity going. Good luck!

GO out with your husband. Get a sitter, don't lose a moment's sleep about it and go date your hunny. My boys are 8 & 9 and they have always loved it when we go out. I try to choose someone appropriate for them. For you, any responsible teen will love and care for your baby. I am in a church where the kids all seem to babysit. If you are not, perhaps you might have a friend who has a teem sitter, or knows one to ask. Trust me, it is so worth it to get out once in a while. We have tried to do it every week or month for our 19 year marriage, and we are a healthy and strong married couple. We have problems, but it helps to get out, helps to communicate about something other than babies and housework. You need it more than he does, because you are home all day with a baby. Good luck. If you cannot find or trust a sitter, see if you have a girlfriend in your situation, and do trades with her. That never worked for me, though, as I liked not feeling like I had to do this or that for someone because I owed them. But it works for a friend of mine.

I've been married for 20 years, and assuming you want to keep your sanity, find a good babysitter and engage her/him for a specific night EVERY week. It is really important that you have a date night with your spouse, and the rule is you can talk about anything but your child. It's important that you keep your own relationship going forward and that requires communication. Good luck!

You can get a trustworthy babysitter one night a week or invite others to your house after 7 pm. If you do end up being the soother, thak God you have a beautiful baby and don't focus or compare your time with your husbands, it will only set you up for destruction!

By all means get out and go - both of you. You owe it to each other and to your child. You don't make that "us" time a priority now, it willget lost in the shuffle until your kids are out of high school! Take it from someone who knows.

Enjoy yourself. Keeping both of you happy amkes for a better family!

Good luck!

I think you should hire a babysitter and go out once a month or so to enjoy yourself as a couple. Have fun and good luck in your situation. Everyone needs couple time away from the kids. Don't feel guilty for taking this time.

Hey BC

If you have a babysitter that you trust, go out and get some socializing time in and make your husband feel important again!! As mothers we tend to be so much into our kids that we forget the one that we had the baby with, so go out and have a good time and keep your cell phone on!! My husband and I still have "date night" at least twice a month, we take turns choosing what we are going to do, he writes what he would like to do and I write what I would like to do and fold the papers and then pick it out of a basket when it's date night, makes it more fun!! Sometimes we even get a Hotel room cause those couple of hours really help keep the romance alive!! Good Luck

Sling it!!

I dont go out often but when I have I have nursed my baby in a sling and worn her around with me. She is also used to a sling so I dont know if that helps. If you want to know more about how its worked for us please let me know.

We have also had people over to our house for dinner which gas worked well.

Why take the baby with you. If he goes down at 6pm have a sitter arrive at 6:30 and meet some friends for dinner at 7:30. These are the easy years so enjoy while you can.

D.

My kids go a lot of places with me. Pack n plays work great and I put them down at a lot of friends houses. My husband and I can hang out until late and our little ones sleep good in other rooms.
Good luck!

A baby sitter would be great since he goes to bed early and sleeps through. Get a reliable teenager (if you attend a church it might be a good source for one). My sons enjoyed a boy teenager when they we older, but since it is a baby a girl would be great. Just leave her your cell phone and don't go too far away (not more than a 20-30 minute drive)the first few times until you know the sitter and feel comfortable. I have three sons and only was called once by the sitter.

You need to have a "date" with your husband so that you can continue to have a good marital relationship.
H.

You definately need a babysitter so you and your husband can go out occasionally. Its important for you both to be able to socialize. Find someone you can trust, someone with CPR training, and go have some fun!!

I would bring a pack in play or carrier and put your baby to bed in a quite room. You might be surprised at how flexible they really are.

Go out with your man! Your baby will one day be grown up and moved out and if the flame has gone out between you and your husband, you will both be sorry. Your relationship with your husband is just as important as your relationship with your child. So call a babysitter, get sexy and go out and have a good time. My husband and I have two kids (2yrs and 4yrs) and I am pregnant again and we still go out for date night every Friday night. Even if we are fighting! It's a great diversion and for a few hours we feel like a young dating couple again. Good luck!

Hunny if your kid sleeps that many hours at night without waking then put him to bed get a babysitter to come sit while you go out.

I wouldn't change his sleep habits. Put him down and go get the sitter and go have fun. I have a daughter who baby sits here in Corona/Norco. Explain to the babysitter that the child will be sleeping the intire time to bring a book or movie if she want's. Most likely if she understands that she just needs to be their in case he wakes up or there's a problem she will take less money. Because it's an easy job. Invite friends over to your house, have dinner then put the baby down and play games.

Actually it is a great age to let your little one start understanding that you can leave but you come back, the closer to one he gets the harder the separation will be they become very clingy unless they are use to being left with others.

Good luck! and have fun. He'll be fine. J.

I definitely think you should go out with your husband. I went out without my kids. As long as the kids are with someone you trust, go out and have a good time. Just because you have kids doesn't mean you can't still go out and have fun by yourselves. It helps you recharge so you can better deal with your daily responsibilities.

Time with your husband is important. Let him know how important he is to you by hiring a babysitter twice a month for a few hours. By the way, one thing I've learned from parenting is this will not last. No matter what it is, it will not last. Your child will soon have a whole new sleep schedule, so you need to learn to be very flexible.

Hello,

Since your baby sleeps so well, have you thought about putting him to bed and then going out? You would have the expence of a baby sitter... but since he would most likely sleep the whole time, he wouldn't even know you were gone.

Just my thoughts.
G.

I have five kids, and have always stayed very social with or with out them. Restaurants can be stressful, unless your child will stay asleep in a carry in car seat.

Stick to going to relaxed house holds, places where people have a bedroom and don't mind if you put your child in their bed. friends with children are the most helpful, if you don't have any GET SOME !

Sharing a bottle of wine with friends is always way better than sitting in front of the TV at home, do it you will come alive again,

With my first child I was also very worried about sitters, finally I went to the local play ground to find women who treated their children similar to me,I observed mothers and nannies and found a great part time sitter for my son. A mother who lived nearby, enjoyed the extra income and was already home anyway with her own two kids.