Got Rid of the "Pacifier" Now What?

My 1st son always has had his froggie, so when the pacifier went away, he still had the stuffed frog. My almost-1-year-old is forming a big attachment to an elephant lovey, and he sucks his thumb, but not that much. I think the lovey is his main comfort item. Does your daughter have a specific stuffed animal or blanket that she is already attached to? If so, that should be sufficient, but if not, you may want to get her something or let her pick out a stuffed animal at the store (make sure it doesn't have any parts like eyes that could come off because they will gnaw and chew on them).

Christina,
That's great that she was able to take a nap without asking for the pacifier. My question is, what if she were able to comfort herself without needing a "comfort item"? There are some advatages to this. You don't have to worry about making sure you always have this item when not at home or the possible "episode" that could occur if the item is not present. There would not be the issue of possibly forgetting it somewhere where you either wouldn't be able to get it back or it would take a long time such as leaving it at a hotel while on vacation.
Not all children need a comfort item and this would be a great time to see if she can be okay without one.
If not, then I would consider something that could be interchangeable. I'm not suggesting another pacifier, but with something like that, you could have different ones and not have to deal with always keeping up with it.
Good luck,
R.

We parents tend to think that our kids need of "stuff" to feel secure.... that continues to adulthood... when ppl think they need of "stuff" to feel secure, to feel successful, to feel accomplished, etc. etc. etc. We were made amazingly complete with all we've got within ourselves, with the image of whom we were made, and all the other things are just material wants and things that we trap ourselves into believing that we "need"...

I strongly agree with one momma who has posted about not needing anything at all.
Feeding the need for something after the pacifier ( which the paci is merely a sense of satisfaction... since as humans, 1st thing we do to satisfy our NEED to be fed is suck... do you see the co-relation here?) MAY be feeding into an insecurity.

My oldest son was attached to a plush tiger. He grabbed onto it when we moved to USA, he was 4 then, moving into a new country, new language, new daddy ( I came to USA to wed my fiance whom I met while living in Cancun), and while we still had no place of our own to call home, we therefore had no stability ( my son and I were welcomed in other ppl's homes, while my wedding day came and moved in to our new life with new hubby/daddy... we wanted to gain purity in our relationship, so we denied ourselves into sexual activities until marriage... hard to do given that we lived together in Cancun)... this was a period of adjustment for all of us, and my son, then, "needed" a sense of security, which I was having a hard adjustable time achieving myself.

My 2 other daughters, born of my "new" husband, had the opportunity to grow in a more stable environment with both mom and dad.... as much as they tried to mirror big brother with a "security" item, they could never get into it, for they lacked nothing... ( do you feel me here???... I am talking emotions)... although they both, well, all 3 of them had the paci, when we took it away, it was gone.... they'd probably cried a day or two, but got over it... BOLDLY. ( Reminds me of when I got over smoking: boldly... !!)

My son is now 14, is very stable emotionally, despite the fact that he is now going thru all the teenager changes, but is so solid and firm in who he is, and who lives in him ( Christ).... shortly after we gained stability in our marriage ( now going into 10 yrs), and everything fell into place, he didn't need his tiger anymore....

So, I think it is up to the parents to determine how we want to drive our children to learn where to put their trust.... on a thing? or on a relationship? if it is a relationship, a relationship with who??? Who is the only being that will NEVER fail us???

Food for thought.

I would let her choose an animal or blanket to take to bet with her. Then, if possible, buy at least two more identical items. That way, when you don't know where one is you can get another one out to avoid the chaos that can occur. As for her asking about the pacifier, just explain in simple words that it is gone, and try really hard to not make a big deal out of it. If she knows you're upset that it's gone, she'll continue wanting it.

why not go to Build a Bear workshop and get a special friend to sleep with - worked with my son when he was 2 1/2!

Going without a paci, she will be fine she will adjust. As far as comfort items I am 45 yrs old I have a soft blanket on my bed I like it, it's warm it feels good on my skin. My children have one also they like it and sleep with it as well. Find her something that she might like a soft blanket a soft stuffed animal...oh, I also have a small stuffed animal my children gave me while in the hospital a few years back (almost died from an illness) I sleep with that as well in my bed but necessarly next to me. To each his own.

I agree with your earlier post who mentions that maybe a security item isn't so convenient or wise. I think that children create those items. My eldest had a blanket, my youngest his thumb. For any moms who read this who have little babies, I've read that it's best to take a pacifier away before 6 months. That's what we did with the eldest and it worked great. You can't take a thumb away from the youngest . . . and he's five now and will likely need braces.

When she asks for a new pacifier (if she asks), I might tell her it's gone and quickly change the subject. If you find it--throw it away in the deep dark recesses of your garbage. Don't let her see it. I had a friend who had an issue with this, her son seeing an old pacifier brought back the desire, but out of sight out of mind.

Best!