Grandmother Gift Etiquette

I am a grandmother and as much as I would appreciate the gift with only one set of grandchildren, I do not think I would be able to wear it unless all grandchildren were represented in some way. It has nothing to do with the adults here, but would be very hard to explain to the grandchildren why I was wearing something with out some of there names or stones ect...

I am a Grandma of 5 boys- Two from my son and 3 from my daughter. I wouldn't feel right wearing one with just one name on it. This is what I have: A Grandma bracelet that says (GRANDMA) they are the square silver beads. Each bead is a letter with a flat gold bead between each letter. You can spell out Nana or what ever she is called. The rest of that strand is gold round beads. The second strand has beads that are the birth stones of each grandchild. They are in order of oldest to youngest. They are centered in the middle of the strand with a flat bead between each birth stone the gold beads on either side to complete the second strand. Both strands are joined together at the clasp.

That's totally fine since it's from you. Recently we did one for my MIL with all of her grandkids. It was a picture bracelet and it turned out really well. Check it out at kimbrastudios.com if you want to see it.

I would have all the grandkids put on it. If there isn't enough space then put 2 kids names/initials on each. I don't know if your MIL would wear it as often if it just had part of her grandkids on it. She would probably wear it all the time if all were included. Otherwise she would probably end up wearing it only when she was around your family.

If you make it like a charm bracelet then you would be able to put all 6 on there and add any future grandkids to it as well.

Family rings at Walmart are reasonable and some styles are designed for 6-8 stones.

Great gift idea.

I would include all of the kids on it.

Since you are making it (and not buying it), why not include the other kids?

Of course it is okay to make one with only your children's name on it but she would probably like one with all of them.

We had a blanket made for my MIL for Christmas about being a 'grandmother' and even though it was just from us, we put all the grandkids names on it.

I think either way she will love it!

What a thoughtful gift!
You are asking the question, so obviously you think this might be a problem. Do all the children if you are able. Your MIL will LOVE it, which is the point, right?

It's a beautiful idea & it's probably okay, but I wouldn't do things like this too often as it could cause resentment to you & your children. I understand it is from you & their your kids, but there's the question of can the other ones afford to do something like this if they wanted to?(Are we talking handmade or professionally made, either is wonderful but the amount of potential conflict changes) or is it always going to be grandma wearing so & so's name / gifts. Also, remember the other grandchildren depending on ages may not understand why grandma has a bracelet with XXXXX & XXXXXXX names but not theirs. It's just a few things to take into consideration, nothing worse than creating family conflicts!

I would check with your sister/brother-in-law first. I totally understand the gift being from you and all, but you wouldn't want to hurt your sister's feelings, or those of the other kids.
I could see maybe a family pic with just your kids in it, but something personalized I think should include everyone.

Just my 2 cents.
M.

It's tempting to do just your kids, but think if it were you. Wouldn't you prefer having all your grandkids on it no matter how it happened? I think my mom would.

I would say, since the gift is from you and your children than that is fine. If you'd like to include the other children you could ask your BIL if he would like to contribute :-) Sounds like a nice gift, where are you getting it made? I am stealing your idea.

Yes, it can be just your kids names....but please be prepared for - not only hurt feelings with your BIL - but also with MIL.

Grandmothers usually are adamant about everything being equal/fair, & are often quite verbal about how much they love ALL of their grandchildren.

I think a better....& definitely more politically-correct....option would be to discuss this beforehand with your BIL & see if they'll give her a bracelet with their kids names on it. I also believe that since this is your idea, you can take the reins on this project....& be able to choose whether it's all on one bracelet or two. Personally, I believe it should be on one.....if you all are done with having kids!

Seems to me that would be a ginormous bracelt if you did all 6 names on one anyway! Maybe you can get together with your sis/bro-in-law and figure out what an appropriate gift is as far as jewelry with the kidsnames. I would be a little offended if my sis-in-law made this for my mom-in-law and didn't include my kids or at least mention to me she was doing this. Maybe thats just me though! :o)

Hi C.,

I think you need to include all of her grandchildren. If cost is an issue propose your idea to your brother-in-law and see if he would contribute. But, I think that if you exclude the other kids you will tarnish the beauty of your idea and intention.

Good Luck.

C.

I think that it is quite all right. We have done similar with my children and my brother has done the same.

Do not feel guilty about it, it is perfectly normal for you to do things that only represent your children! I am sure that there are things she has done for yours that she has not for the others and vice-a-versa....

My opinion is that it is completely fine for you to do it for your kids only. It is a gift from your family. Out of courtesy, you may want to call your brother-in-law's family to let them know in the event they'd like to do the same thing and present them together.

You're doing something really personal and special for their grandmother, and I can't imagine why it would be offensive to make it from your family instead of the extended family.

I agree that maybe the grandmother would feel awkward wearing it with just one child's name on it...for sure my mother would. Maybe you could do everyone's first initial instead of their whole name to cut down on space?? Or do a bracelet with three kids and a necklace with 2 kids?? I'm not sure of the solution, and I do agree that it's your gift, but grandkids can be a touchy subject and you don't want anyone (grandma included) to feel upset about anything!