Grandpa Bought DD Mice for a B-day Present!!!

Suggest that we keep the mice at grandpa's house for when we visit. And then take them to grandpa's house to live (the mice, not the kids).

:)

I do not think you should be stuck with them if it's something that really bothers you.

While it's nice that your concerned about his feelings, that goes two ways and he should have asked you if this was OK.

I would speak to your father in-law very nicely about it. Let him know how you feel, ask him to take them back. I wouldn't have your husband do it, he might not be as gentle about it, causing issues.

If the pets aren't taken back by the father in-law, then take them back yourself. If you except this gift even though you don't like it, it will only encourage him to do this sort of thing again.

Very nicely ask him to ask you about this kind of purchase before buying such a gift to avoid hurt feelings. Let him know you appreciate that he loves the kids, but that it's not something your willing to have in the house and that your the one stuck with caring for it.

There is to much responsibility with this, not to mention cost to feed them that should have been concerned before he purchased them.

Rev. G. Hudson, Reiki Master.

DOn't worry they don't live long! But you may need to talk to him for future reference especially if the kids don't care for their own animals. I would also tell your daughter that she will not get to keep future pets if she doesn't care for them.
That is the standing rule in my house. THen I know they really want the pet when they clean the cage, litter box, etc.

Good luck,
L.

Geez - sorry - He probbly just didn't think like guys do sometimes, he might of always wanted mice as a kid or might of heard your kids mention wanting them. For whatever reason it needs to be addressed for the future - he might think a snake is a good idea sometime too - ha. If you give it a try and it dosen't work for your family, you might mention if he would like to have them for when your kids visit him and explain that you tried, but they just aren't for you. Then he should not be offended... I know people are different, but I have never wanted mice for pets. Good Luck - Like another reader said they will most likely start having babies, then what ?

What does your husband think of this? It is his father, so if any talking to your FIL occurs, it needs to be done by him. If your husband thinks it is wonderful and cute, then you are really out of luck in talking with FIL, and I wouldn't bother doing it.

What I would do is lay down the law with your daughter. Ask her, "Do you want to keep the mice? Then you must care for the mice completely. Three strikes and they are gone." Then make a chart for her that includes daily care for the mice. Choose which day she cleans their cage. Choose which day she vacuums around the cage, etc. Make the chart with her, with food and clean water to be checked off each day and cleaning put on the appropriate day. Then photocopy the list.

Each day, check at bedtime. If she has not done the things on the list, put a big black X with a sharpie marker on that day. When she gets to 3 black Xs, then take the mice back.

If she does her share and takes care of them, then she is showing she is growing up and is ready for responsibility and more power to her!

Good luck.
VickiS

basically what the others have said: if the family is willing to help care for them, keep them. otherwise, back they go. i wouldn't care if he gets offended! let hubby talk to his dad and explain that there's too much work and the child isn't responsible enough to care for the animals. should he offer to keep them at his house...that would be a solution too. ugghhhh, i hate mice!

p.s. i have my own zoo of 3 dogs and 2 cats. my oldest 11 yr old boy has slowly taken over a good chunk of daily care for them. yes he needs prodding some days, but kids can definitely help.

Yikes! I'm always shocked by the things people do without checking first. Now you're obviously in a tough spot, and will be the "bad guy" if the mice are returned. Having a mini- Noah's Ark in our house as well, I know your pain :)

In reading your previous posts, it looks like your oldest is 8. That makes her plenty old to help with the care of all of the animals. You also don't mention where your husband is on this issue... It's his father... what was his reaction?

Over the last few years (my kids are 8 & 10) I've turned over ALL of the care of the animals to my husband and children. They know that although I tolerate all of our animals (1 dog, 1 cat, 10 fish - and formerly hamsters), I would never have gotten them for myself. I've explained that I already do LOTS for my family, and this is their responsibility. They're responsible for feeding, cleaning tanks and cages, etc. Our rule is, the kids don't get fed until the animals are taken care of, so daily care is done before breakfast. Weekly care like cages are taken care of on the weekend, when Daddy can do it with them. The only thing that falls on me is the extra care on the floors from tracking things in the pet door (especially when it rains or the sprinklers have gone off).

After the hamsters died and they wanted fish, I explained to the kids that they would have FULL responsibility for them... that includes cost. They bought the fish, tanks, food, filters, rocks, etc. out of their allowance, birthday money, etc.

I would definitely have your husband talk to your FIL about not doing anything like this in the future. I would also talk to the kids (without blaming the FIL) that this is a one-time deal. If you EVER get a pet as a gift again, without family approval, it will have to go back (you don't want a surprise ferret or potbelly pig showing up) but if it were me, we'd probably keep the mice. Like the last poster said... they don't live very long (I would prepare your children for that as well).

Finally, if you do decide to keep them, I would check garage sales, thrift stores, and Freecycle or Craigs List for tubes, toys, etc. People are always getting rid of these supplies, so there's no need to buy everything new.

Good luck!

Looks like your stuck. Sorry. I had a friend whose son once went on a car trip and came home with a puppy. It was beautiful but it lasted 16 years! How do you say no? She was a bit upset-not being able to choose the breed and having to take on the responsibility but it worked out in the end. Her love for the dog and her son outweighed the chore of responsibility.

Mice only live a few years if that helps any. 3 and you will probably have babies. You can donate/sell to feed snakes (I know sounds bad). They are rather easy to clean and eat so little. At 26 I'm assuming your children are too little to help. Mice are really for children 8 and up. They get hurt too. If she's 8 they are hers to care for - you just have to make sure she knows how and doesn't forget. Mice starve and thirst and the dirtier their cage, the nastier in personality they get (grumpy). After a while she'll get the hang of it - it takes 30-45 days to form a new habit so please give her that long.

It's a very loving gift to give a live animal but you are right, he should have asked first. he probably thought they were small and the kids would be so delighted to see them, making him wonderful in their eyes. I think he would get his feelings hurt if you refused.

Try and hang for a few months and see how it goes. It'll be great in teaching the kiddos how to feed them, and to watch them spin on their wheel.

Good luck, C.

I agree with the other two moms advice. I would have your husband make clear to his dad that this is to never happen again. My maternal grandmother bought me a rabbit when I was about 4 years old. I still remember the ensuing argument between her and my dad. They were so ridiculous and should have never done that in my presence. The cage was thrown down and the rabbit jumped off and went who knows where.

Since your 26 - I'd guess the kiddos are not yet old enough to help effectively with the cleaning of bird or mice cages - both high maintanence. Solve both issues, Get a cat (Ha Ha) - Lose 'em - your house / your time / your call.
dc

I agree with talking to your husband and your kids about this. The animals need love too. If your family cannot provide the care and love they need and you don't really want them, then I would discuss taking them back. It should be a family decision. If the kids and your husband agree to take care of them, then let them try. Mice last about 2 years, but they are messy and need their litter changed once a week. If your oldest is willing to do this, then let her try. It is a responsibility to learn.

GL!