Grandparents Wanting to Take 6Yo to Disney for the First Time...

Let her go. She will be just as thrilled to go back with you when you can afford it. This is a great opportunity for her.

If it's selfish of you than I am selfish. My parents asked if they could do this exact thing. My answer before even bringing it up to my husband was, I knew he would be in agreement with me. "No, we would like their first time to be with us".

I think it's my earned right as a mom to be there and be the one who pays for it and goes with them. I on the other hand have no problems with them joining us and going with us but I want it to be because we are the ones paying and giving them the time of their childhood.

If that makes me selfish then so be it!

Personally, i would allow them to go. You can still take your family trip there when you are financially able. The fact that if it were 'anywhere other than Disney' speaks for itself, let them go.

A lesson we should all take from 9/11 is that none of us is assured tomorrow. Don't deprive your children of a trip with their grandparents, be thankful for the opportunity your children have!

I would let your daughter go.
Her experience with her grandparents will be completely different than her experience with you.
I understand you haven't had a real vacation in 10 years, but I would let your daughter go and start planning earnestly for your OWN family vacation to Disney.
I was born in California and grew up here. All my life, my parents said, "Maybe next year.....", "Maybe next year...."
I was invited to go, but my parents had plans on taking me.
I was 35 years old with kids of my own the first time I ever got to go to Disneyland.
I'm just saying that it sounds like you have great parents who are contributing to your daughter being a well travelled child. I don't see the downside of that.
Kids should have the chance to experience many things and have those fond memories. It shouldn't be an either/or situation in my opinion.
The first time you and your kids go to Disney as a family will be the first time and those memories will not be hindered or dimmed by any other memories.
Unless you actually have the plane tickets and the hotel booked for your own vacation, I would let your daughter go.

Again, just my opinion.

I may be in the minority here, but here is my take:
If you are fairly confident that you and hubby WILL take her there within the next 15 months (maybe by the end of next year?)... then I would have your hubby tell them that you are making vacation plans to go there yourselves in the very near future and would like to be the first to take her there. That it is sentimental to you both. Let them know that you would love to let them take here there in the future, AFTER you and hubby have taken her the first time. That this one place is the one place you really want to take her to.
The trick is, that you really need to take her. Don't tell them "no" and then not take her for 3 years. If you don't realistically expect to be ABLE to take her in the next year or 15 months or so, then yes, you should let them take her.

Maybe I'm just an old dinosaur mom, my daughter is 18 now, but I gave up the requirement to be there for all of her first everything trips and activities a long time ago. If she has the opportunity to travel and experience something I'm all for it. We have been/done a ton of things together but I wasn't going to prevent her from enjoying trips with family and friends because I wasn't there. My daughter's best friend from Sea World camp lives in Rhode Island so my daughter and her friend take turns flying out to each other's homes. On one trip, the friend's family planned to do a NYC weekend! I love NY and have only been with my daughter there on flight connections to Europe. There was no way I was going to make her wait until I took her myself. Same thing when my daughter's dad had an opportunity for them to go to Washington D.C., I thought it was awesome that she was able to experience something like that even if I wasn't there.

The great thing about Disney is it doesn't have to be a one time thing. I enjoyed my 100th visit as much as I did when I was a kid. If she goes with your parents she will still have an amazing time with you and hubby.

If it were *me* I would say yes, take the grandkid. My sister and her husband took my son to Legoland by themselves, and even though I LOVED Legos as a kid and really wanted to experience it, it was not feasable for lots of reasons for me to join them. I was SO glad I didn't keep him from it, because it has turned out that life has thrown us a lot of curves lately and there would have been no other opportunity to go, either with parents or aunts and uncles.
He had SO much fun and still talks about it two years later, and my sister and bro-in-law have this really cool memory with just them and him. I thought I would be "jealous" that I missed this milestone and was just going to suck it up and deal with my negative feelings, but I really honestly just ended up being happy for him!

Why can't she go with them AND go again with you? Maybe they could go in May or June & you could plan a trip for October or November giving you a little more time to save? She could go to Disney 4 times this year and still not see everything. What 6 year old wouldn't be just as excited to go BACK to Disney 4 or 5 months later? Or, you could explain your feelings to your mom & suggest that they go to Orlando, but do the Universal Studios and Seaworld thing instead so you can take her back for Disney as a family? I am sure the kids would be just as thrilled with that option and maybe your mom/step dad would be too. Either way...what a lucky little girl!!
I would be very careful on choosing your wording wth your mom though. It is so very generous of them to want to do this and you don't want to hurt their feelings.

I don't see what the big deal is here. Tell your parents that this is something you've dreamed of doing with your kids and that you and your husband want to take your children to Disney for the first time. It's a special place for you.

I'm sure they'll understand. But you can't expect them to be clairvoyant. You have to communicate with them.

Wow, I would totally let our daughter go with her beloved grandparents.. and then we would go when we could afford it also. I never want her to miss out on an opportunity for fun, because of my needs.
Your daughter will have special memories of her time with her grandparents. That is a priceless event.

Besides, her trip with them will be totally different than one with you and dad. Also things change over the years at Disney and in reality, who knows when you will be able to really go to Disney? Money is going to be tight and if an emergency comes up.. may be that the Disney money will be needed.

Take yourself out of the picture and think what you would like for your daughter. 2 trips or 1 trip just with you and dad.

You know, I'd say your issues are selfish, especially if you are wondering that, and you say you aren't the closest of families. I would let your daughter go. Think of all the wonderful memories she will have, and especially with her grandparents and cousins. I think it would be wonderful for her. And maybe if they are going to Disney in Florida, you could go on a family vacation to Disney in California. Or whatever. But if you go to the same place, you could ask your daughter to take special note of all the neat things she sees, so she can take YOU there when you guys get to go there together. Lots of kids don't have any grandparents who give a damn about them at all, and your daughter has these wonderful people who actually want to spend time with her and take her somewhere neat, please don't take that from her.

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Well, if it helps, I went to Disney World for the first time when I was 7. It was overwhelming and I had a lot of meltdowns (I remember this because my mom thought it was cute to take pictures of the meltdowns and include them in the photo album of our trip!)
So let her go with Grandma and Grandpa. Save your trip to DW with her for when she is older and will have a better time.

NOPE! You deserve to have the pleasure and joy of seeing Disney with your kids the first time they go, and you shouldn't feel one ounce of guilt for it. I think it's rather selfish of your parents to ask to do this. In my opinion, they had their children, now it's your turn. Tell them you're planning a Disney vacation for your family, so you'll have to decline. Explain why. If they care about your feelings, they'll get it. Good luck!

I think if it's someplace that YOU really want to be the people taking her there, then you should. That's a memory that YOU want to have: her first time at Disney. Since the trip wouldn't happen till next summer anyway, maybe ask your mom to consider someplace else?

I think you should just talk to them and see if they won't reconsider their destination. Tell your mom how much this means to you and how you're saving for this trip and b/c you honeymooned there this has been one of your "dreams". I would hope your mom could understand that and maybe compromise.

If she doesn't want to budge on the destination then honestly, I'd probably try your hardest to go with them, even though it isn't exactly what you want. This seems like the better option than telling DD she isn't allowed to go with gma, gpa and cousins and has to wait. You can split your time between your family and the big family and even if you only have a day just to yourselves, I think it'd still be worth it!

I would not let them take my kids. I took this one a littler personally b/c I CANNOT WAIT to take my kids to Disney in a few years. If I were you, I'd be honest and up front with your parents now, before it gets to be too late. Just tell them this is something you've been planning for as a family and while you appreciate them wanting to vacation with the kids, your daughter will not be going to Disney with them until she's gone with you. It's something special you've been planning and looking forward to. Their problem if they don't get it. They could go somewhere else. You're not being selfish at all!

I would say no. Its the place you want to do as a family and hopefully within the next year or so. And if you are beginning to plan it, then definitely no. I would just say that you already have a trip in the works to go there with the kids.

If it was still out of your reach to go, then yea I'd probably let them take her. But really there's other places they can take her.

I would go with them. You say you are not that close, well, this may be the perfect chance to change that, and there is no reason for it to be less fun for you and your SO if the Grandparents come unless you make it so!

In your shoes, no, I would not let my daughters go to Disney for the FIRST time with anyone but me and daddy. There's just something magical about that first time that *I* want to share with them - especially as it will be MY first time too!

I would explain to the grandparents that you are currently saving for a family Disney trip and that they are welcome to take your daughter anywhere else. Explain how special this trip is to YOU and hopefully they'll respect your wishes :)

Not wanting your daughter to go is purely selfish on your part. However, I also think it's a valid feeling. Seeing Disney through a child's eyes for the first time is absolutely amazing and words can't describe it. So, if you know you are going to go soon (i.e. have something booked a year out and have already been making payments), I think it would be okay to be selfish this time. However, if it's just wishful thinking and you're trying to save for it with no other emergency fund savings (so any emergencies would dip into Disney fund), then I would recommend letting your daughter experience now, or she may never get the chance. And, if it were me, I'd suck it up with spending time with the grandparents and go, too. That way everyone can experience the joy together. Disney is what you make of it, and if you go in with a positive attitude and realize you're going for your daughter, you should be able to put the family issue with your parents to the side.

My vote, don't let her go if you really think you will go in the next year or two. Part of the enjoyment of the first time there is seeing your kids face when they see everything for the first time! what great grandparents she has to offer, but maybe they can take her to sea world, universal studios or something else near there.
I don't think you are being selfish I think disneyworld is a very magical place to spend with your family. Grandparents can take them there the year after you go with her.

I think its your right as a parent to have the joy and excitement of seeing your children do all these fun things with you. Especially since you honeymooned there, it is double special. Just tell your parent this and ask them to please not try and take that away from you. BUT,,If you can , ask them if they will pay for part of the trip to include you and your husband too. It would be fun for the kids and grandparents, and theres the chance they will stay with the girls one night so you and hubby can get away for some romance and have a small 2nd honeymoon too.
A few months ago our grown daughter planned a trip to Disneyland with her then 3 yr old daughter. She asked us to go along so we could have the fun of seeing our grand daughter experience Disneyland for the first time. Id love for parents to do this for their kids themselves, but dad isnt with M. anylonger so that wasnt an option. We had a lot of fun and actually split up a few times and shared rides with each other. I dont like the big scarey stuff, but daughter and hubby do. So while they went off to do something my grand daughter wasnt tall enough for, I had fun with her. It was a lot of fun, and we all shared the job of watching out for the little one. You might try that and see how fun it can be to actually include your parents and then let them give you a break for a bit.

I don't think you're selfish at all. I suggest that you be upfront with the grandparents and tell them you're saving for this trip and although you appreciate them wanting to take your daughter you want to be able to do that with her for her first visit. Perhaps suggest some other theme parks that she might enjoy.

Emphasize how much fun she had this summer and how you want her to take a trip with them next summer. Just not to Disneyland.

They could go to Disney LAND in CA and see Lego world too.

I don't think you are being selfish at all. Tell your mom that you love the fact that they want to take the kids on vacation, but that Disney is yours. Maybe they can think of somewhere else to take the kids next summer so that you and your husband can continue to save. If they insist on going to Disney, then let them know that your daughter won't be going with them. You guys are her parents. You deserve to enjoy taking her to Disney if that's what you want to do!

I don't think it's wrong to say "you know, Janet had so much fun and you guys are just so generous to want to take her on this trip, but we REALLY want to be the ones to take her to Disney for the first time. Is there any change you could pick a different location for this summer's trip? We aren't saying she can't go on a trip with you, just that we'd like it to be somewhere other than Disney. If you have your heart set on Disney, please understand that she won't be going this time."

WDW is SACRED GROUND to me and my family. (My grandpa REALLY wanted his ashes spread there.) They LIVED for their trips to Disney. They went 3-4 times a year and often brought me and my sister's. That was AFTER we ALL went together with my parents. I would NEVER let my parents take my son without us. That would just be WRONG!

My grandparents have been at EVERY park on opening day since WDW opened-- EPCOT, MGM and Animal Kingdom. ALL of them. They were the Disney experts and basically were the local consultants for all things Disney for a looong time. :0)

I wish they lived long enough to see their great grandkids and see them at Disney but in my heart I know they'll be with us once we make our trip.

Look at ebay. You can rent a 4-5 bdrm house for $75/night and go to WDW for 10 days during an "off season". Eat breakfast at the house, pack your lunches & snacks each day and GO! This is the most economical way to do it. Be sure you and your parents have separate vehicles. You can ALL go and take turns taking the kid, being together and having days off. Look at the upside, you and your hubby can have a date night and your kid will have the best of both worlds. If you do it cheap, you can enjoy extended vacation each year if they split the cost!!! Plus look at the memories you are all creating together for you child. Someday your kid might even invite you to go with your grandkids - it is the most magical place in the world :) Pack your bags!!!!

I would go with them! You do not have to spend every moment together
but even if you do, there is so much to do and see, it will not be difficult.
If you are worried about expenses, Disney can be done on a budget. The
passes are the most expensive part. I look at this as a chance to get
closer to your family. Go and enjoy.

Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with it. In fact i'd love it. But if you've got your heart set on it, just tell them. No biggie.

'Going to Disney' now seems to be a rite of passage, like Confirmation, or getting your first bra.

Heck NO! Tell your mom that while you appreciate it so much explain how you feel, that you really want to be the one to show your kid the magic of disney and by her doing that you feel incompetent as a parent that you have yet to be able to take her. Tell her universal is fine (or any of the other ones around there) but disney is out of the question.

What's wrong with being a little selfish? You're the mother. It is perfectly understandable that you and your husband want to be the ones to take her to Disney for the first time....and enjoy it as your own little family. And especially considering you will be financially able to do it soon....sounds like a no-brainer to me. Stand your ground! Pushy GP's really annoy me....

I honestly think you need to go with your gut on this. If you really think you will be able to go as a family in the next year or two, I would say no. Let them know that you appreciate the offer, but you had already decided that your first big family trip would be to WDW and you want to be there when your daughter goes for the first time. Hopefully your mom will understand and maybe she'll think of some other places she could take the grandkids. Good luck with whatever you decide!

Hi Mom22,

Have you told your mom and step-dad that this is something you would like to do with your daughter? Do they have any idea that this is what you had in mind? If not, tell them and thank them for offering to take them on a Disney trip but that is something that you and your husband would like to do "someday?" is it possible for them to choose a different vacation location? However, if your mom and step-dad do go to Disneyland with your step sisters kids your daughter will know about it and feel left out.

I say suck it up. It is very generous for your mom and step-dad to take the kids on such an "expensive" and fun trip. Your parents are probably older and right now those memories with grandparents and grandkids are important. You will have plenty of time to share your own memories at Disneyland too. Good luck!

I would NOT allow my parents to take my kid on a vacation that I have been looking forward taking with my kids. But, I would also do everything humanly possible to make sure we got there in the next year. It's not fair to your kiddo to say they can't go with the grandparents, but then not take them for several years.

My parents have taken my kids to Disney, but not the first time they went. I would not have been able to deal with that either, selfish or not. We all went (parents, sister, BIL, nephew, DH, DS, DD & I) which was a first for all the grandkids. 2 summers later everyone was ready to go back, but DH & I were unable to go financially so we let the kids go with them. Even that was difficult, but if it had been their first time I wouldn't have let them go.

If it were me, I would ask your parents to take them somewhere else. Also, tell your parents not to tell your kids about the Disney trip, they won't understand why they have to wait to go with you. There are a ton of places they can take them to and the kids will have just as much fun. Or another idea, instead of grandma and grandpa going, why don't they just pay for you and hubby to go with your girls.