Grandson Afraid to Be with Other Children His Age

He doesn't need to learn to be away from his parents and "socialize" with other people. Having an unbreakable bond with his M. & Dada is way more important than ANY class for pre-schoolers. He should stay home with the family and do a fun activity instead.

Since he did well when you took him, maybe you should take him until he gets used to going then let daddy step in. Sometimes having the parents there creates a whole different dynamic. Eventually he will feel more comfortable socializing with the other children, but I would not push that especially since he is not used to being around other kiddos.
We have had similar issues with our son. Sometimes his teacher has to take him to try new activities with the other children before we can take him to do that same activity...eventually we step in once he is used to going. It has improved over time and he is now not so afraid and is socializing much better.
Also, I think that he should get into a mother's day out program or a preschool at least a couple of times a week to get him socialized. It is not healthy for him to be so isolated. It is very important to socialize kids from a young age. I'm not sure what the issues are surrounding his mom, but hopefully something can be worked out if everyone works together on this. Good luck!

I think he just needs more exposure to the class and to other kids- encourage the little boy to go to the class, even if he is afraid. The sounds a lot like my nephew- my nephew goes to a class with other little boys- but my nephew does not really participate yet. He will talk about the class and about being scared and running to his mom. I just tell my nephew to try it again and try it each week- it may take months.
I would just encourage your grandson to talk about how he feels- don't punish him - but do take him each week- even if all that he does is sit with dad.
I hope this helps!

Hi B.,
First, I would be sure that nothing happened at the gym that is now making him "afraid" to go. Not being use to other kids his age, maybe someone tried to restle with him or something and it just scared him. Second, is someone staying with him and in sight while he's participating? I know my son (4) doesn't want to go to preschool, but if I stay and have breakfast with him... he's fine! At that age, 3, and not being "left" anywhere - that could be what he's afraid of. Just some thoughts... good luck!

Talk to the gym about your grandson going to the mommy/daddy and me class. You or his parent can be with him until he is
ready to participate alone. Gym classes are so much fun at this age and a good program is all about the child learning confidence and having FUN.He may be a little older than some of the kids in there but the gym should allow you a program that encourages him. Keep up the great work grandma. All kids grow from love and when they have more than just Mom and Dad they feel the love of a real family.

Are both his Mommy and Daddy going with him on Saturdays event? Why not make a special day and go to Mc Donald's or pizza or someplace he likes to go afterwards and see if that will give him an incentive. Worth a try in making this a family thing. maybe he is afraid that Mommy shouldn't be left home alone (if she is) He feels safe with her remember, Good Luck!

It is a new situation with new people. What 3 year old wouldn't be intimidated? Tell him you will go with him and stay where he can see you and if he doesn't like it after going a few times then we can find another activity you do like. I'm sure once he has your support of being close by and time to get familiar with the new children, he will enjoy it.

Hi B.,
Could it be that the parents don't like to go? Parental socialization is quite a lot when you spend so much time alone at home. We are so homebodies here and if I don't talk someone to death, I don't usually talk at all. :)

If they do not try yet it is okay, careful not to be pushy. You don't want them to be mad at you then not listen to you when something is really important.

Kids play by themselves at that age quite a bit, especially boys. I can still put my son in a room of kids and he will find something to occupy himself with all the chaos and laughter around him. They just like to think and explore and build. Now at six, he is way more social.

The only thing I worry about is this, if mom doesn't get out, she will be more dependent on her husband for her own happiness. It would be healthy for her to have a little social life on her own. That and...well..kids who spend a lot of time by themselves can get a little nerdy. :)
Does she play with him a lot at home? That will make all the difference.
And maybe...they are happy the way things are.

How sweet of you to offer a playtime for your grandson. How generous of you. Keep up the good work!
God bless, C.

"...only child..."
"...our son and his stay-at-home mother..."
"...isolated..."
"...their house."
"...enrolled our grandson..."
"...supposed to go..."
etc.

Just the way your request is worded sends a vibe that you are not pleased with your son and daughter-in-law's parenting. I don't mean to be disrespectful, but it might be a situation where "you had your chance to parent, now give them theirs..."
Now, if they *asked you* for your advice that's a whole other story. And since you're on this forum seeking advice, I'd like to second (or third?) the notion that small children are small children, not little adults that need training to be big adults. He's 3 and a half for crying out loud -- what do you mean, "...has anyone heard of this..."!? Like he has a medical condition or something?! If he is happy at home, healthy, truly "smart and active," then what exactly is there to help, I wonder...?

I have noticed that when our daughter (2 years) hasn't been in big group settings very much (especially where the other children are already comfortable with the situation) she is definately more timid and wants to stick closely to us. Whether it's sunday school after moving to a new class or it's a fun class that we've enrolled her in. I'm guessing he just has to take time to warm up, maybe even 4-5 weeks of these classes and just observing or sticking closely to his dad before feeling comfortable enough to branch out and enjoy it. This happened even recently at a birthday party for a 4 year old friends of hers, she preferred not to go and play the games. But at the very end of the party she was more than ready to play. It just took her awhile because it was a new situation

My son doesn't like a neighbor boy ever since he started pre-school. He says his language and manners have become crude. The question could be: Do you want your grandson to learn the manners of little boys who have not had "training" to be gentlemen? Or would you rather he had "training" on how to be a gentleman from, let's say ...Grandpa. Do you think he would learn more from life and how to act from other 3 - 5 year old boys or from you? Do you have the time to bring him home and make cookies? You could use that time to talk and teach (and make a volcano from soda and vinegar) Boys who play well with others are comfortable with themselves, some have to have a special skill because self esteem comes from something they are good at -- You could help him discover that and that would prepare him more for life than learning to be like everyone else.

I am a stay-at-home Mom to a 3.5 yr old boy as well.(plus an 18 yr old!) I enrolled him in a daycare for 2 days a week just so he would have interaction with his own peers! I notice when I take him,he is very reserved and doesn't jump right in. But,when I pick him up he is happily playing along with other kids,or sometimes doing an activity alone.He has been going for about three months now. I think its a great way to prepare him for when he has to go to school all day. I would definitely encourage your son to continue to take your grandson. He needs these social skills to transition to school when the time comes. He is just out of his comfort zone but will soon adapt. Good luck!
juju