Grandson Preference Concerning Feminine Things

Completely normal. Don't make a big deal of it. If he were a girl wanting to play with monster trucks and light sabers reading Transformers, Spiderman and Star Wars, would you be questioning it? It's just a question, but think about it because most people say they wouldn't be as concerned. It's the same thing. I think people make a big deal about things like that, which makes the kid feel like something is wrong with them. The only thing that makes a kid NOT want to play with those things is being taught that there's something wrong with it.

Would you be concerned about a little girl being interested in cars and reading Thomas the Tank Engine books? Gender equality goes both ways. :) A little boy should should receive as much acceptance exploring "feminine things" as a little girl does when she explores "masculine things".

Let him be - don't make a big deal of it and he won't either.

**edit** I noticed that you've already posted this question (http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/16517524142036221953) - except that you described your grandson as your son - which is weird.... I guess you weren't happy with the first set of answers.

Your grandson is totally normal, and you'd do better to not characterize his preferences as a problem, or something to "deal with".

There is nothing wrong with it. I wouldn't discourage it, but I guess it doesn't have to be encouraged either. If his feelings are squashed, he could close up and feel rejected for who he is. You can't change who he is no matter what is said or done...

Growing up, I had a cousin who was more than a little feminine. He played in my dresses, used to put my tights on his head so he could have "long hair", and he LOVED Barbies and ALWAYS wanted to play them. When we played house, he wanted to be the Mommy (I was very firm about this one, though--I the Mommy and he COULD NOT BE lol Ahhh the life of a six year old!).

My Grandma (who raised him), when people would be shocked, would say of his Barbie fascination, "When a little boy wants to look a girls (Barbies) there's nothing to worry about. It's when little boys want to look at little boys we need to worry". LOL Ooooh Grandma. He always said he wished he were a girl, because girls got PRETTY stuff.

Most little boys, if left to their own devices, will become interested in girl things. Think about it: most little girls are interested in trucks and superheroes and "boy" things at some point, too. It doesn't mean much of anything, other than he hasn't been quashed by the societal constraints we have in today's world.

My cousin, by the way, is now the most loving husband to a wonderful woman and two beautiful children. He's what everyone would consider a "mans man". He's outdoorsy, good with tools, and very masculine.

Of course, he always attends his little girls tea parties, and still plays Barbie with them....

lol!

He is what he is and if that kind of stuff makes him happy then so be it. Let him be creative. There are a lot of kits and things that involve beads and other bright things. Get him those and let him do what makes him proud. It is great that he is in touch with his feminine side. I know that so many people would be better off in the human race if they could relate to everyone.

Me personally, I think that kids always express themselves in their own authentic ways. He might also be expressing a wish to be 'free' to enjoy feminine things as a girl is free to do; boys are often pushed away from liking those sorts of things because the parents worry Waaaay to much.

You can't worry about a child's preferences. all you can do is decide to let them be who they are. Some people believe that sparkles and glitter and pink will make a boy gay. No more than playing baseball will make a girl a lesbian. I personally believe that science has given us plenty of evidence that homosexuality is far more nature than nurture in any case, and would just let a child enjoy what they enjoy, so long as these things are kind and not hurting anyone. Sure, sometimes other people are uncomfortable, but this definitely falls into the category of "harmless" behavior. It's not even intentionally aimed at making other people feel uncomfortable; it's a simple preference.

I wouldn't worry about it. It is normal for children to explore gender roles and until women's liberation in the 1970s pink was considered a boy's color. Society used to have a vast amount of gender neutral activities and gender neutral clothing for children. Nowadays you can barely make it out of a pregnancy without everyone wanting to assign gender. Girls are allowed to explore gender roles freely, but boys aren't which is really a disservice to boys.

It isn't harmful to their emotional, physical, or mental self to allow the explorative play. A 6yo is just as likely to want to be a dog, too.

Two of my nephews are 3-6 years old and both LOVE tiaras. One has a sister; the other does not. At this age it is very common for boys to be attracted to girl stuff. And why shouldn't they? It's brighter, more detailed, and more of a variety of things. Being in the fashion industry I sometimes feel sorry for men. Their choices of clothing is extremely limiting compared to what a woman is able to wear. The woman's world is not as limiting as the man's world. Socially, a woman can do everything a man can, but not vice-versa.

I researched this when my kids were very little because I was concerned about them growing up without a dad in the home. It's a developmental issue.
Very young children, I believe younger than 3 or 4, do not know whether they are male or female. (This is sometimes evidenced in questions such as, "Were you a girl baby or a boy baby?" to an adult.) They don't realize that gender is continuous, and they don't grasp their gender. So boys may state that they're going to be a queen when they grow up, and so forth.
The father tends to answer that question for both boys and girls. He affirms his daughter as female by treating her as his "little princess" and his son as male by playing gentle-tough with him, showing him acceptance in the man's world. (Don't ask me why this is the dad's job; that's just how it happens according to what I read.)
Consequently, young children identify with and internalize their parent of the same sex. The boys internalize the dad and the girls their mom. In these ways, they learn to think of themselves as male or female, normally without a hitch. They then grow up with a clear gender identity.
When a dad is absent, or present but emotionally distant, the child does not always get a clear gender identification message. A boy can internalize his mom, because he has identified more closely with her. You'll sometimes see him wearing girls' clothes, jewelry, etc. It's not usually permanent, but can be more extreme in some cases than in others. I think, most kids figure it out eventually, although I'm no expert! I gather that because a lot of people say their sons went through such a phase.
When I learned all this, I made sure to simply tell my boys they would be men someday, and my daughter that she was a lovely girl who would grow into a woman. They loved to hear that! It was like they were hoping for the news but weren't sure it could be that good! Although they didn't have a dad in the home, they were able to develop the accurate gender identity that applied to them.
I hope that's helpful! I bet your grandson is fine. You're a great grandma to be involved in their lives.
God bless,
L.

It's very normal. My youngest son (7) LOVES shiny silky things. When he was very little, if I couldn't find something out of my lingerie draw (nighties & slips) or even of my evening wraps, I simply had to check his little nest. He called them silkies. After I got him his own long length of silk fabric to play with and some little silk handkerchiefs to sleep with or stuff in his pocket when were out and about, he was quite happy. I remember once, I went to visit my grandparents but forgot his silky at home. My grandmother let him go through her nighties and he was quite partial to a silky rayon one. She let him keep it when we left. He has a very small piece of it left; he's loved it to shreds.

He also LOVES the color purple. I'd say a good 1/3 of his wardrobe is that color. I don't see any harm in it. I'm hoping to foster this feminine side of him so he grows into a wonderful caring partner. I'm not concerned at all that he may be gay. My husband and I wondered about it when he was small but not because we really cared. It was just an "Oh, OK" kind of thing. Now that he's older though he DEFINITELY likes the girls. He's going to be a boob man when he grows up. (roll the eyes)

He also likes to dress up in his sisters dress up clothes (you know, those little Disney Princess sets you can get). Once, he went outside in a skirt and my husband started getting bothered about it until I reminded him he didn't have the gumption to wear a kilt whereas obviously his 6 year old son did. My boy really likes his kilt and has even worn it to school.

Just support your grandson in his choices. He'll most likely grow out of it but if he doesn't, so what? Times are changing and things are very well accepted now that weren't even talked about when my grandparents were young and just starting to be talked about when I was small. So who knows?

As the others have stated, I think it's perfectly normal. My 7 year old loves to read the Junie B. Jones series. I remember seeing on CNN last week I believe, about a mother who wrote a book about her son who was into pretty, sparkly things and loves to wear dresses. She wrote a book called "My Princess Boy" and it's a book about acceptance. Here is her webpage: http://www.myprincessboy.com/index.asp

Who doesn't like those books? Who doesn't like sparkly things? He may be noticing girls get more attention for being pretty and thinking he might want some of that. :-P

Just let him be. It is probably just a phase. My brother used to put on my mother's knee highs and heels at that age. He is now a police officer and all guy.

It's really probably a phase. At 6, he generally has no idea what wanting to be a girl REALLY means. It will probably pass. If it doesn't, that's just who he is. You can't really change him.

My son is almost 5 and loves Olivia, asked to have to nails painted like Mommy, and plays with the girls in his class. He is a sweet, smart, and sensitive boy. I personally dont think there is anything wrong with it, let him be himself. God made him this way.

Agree with most of the posts....let him be & there's nothing really to "deal with." My son loves all things sparkly and bling, including jewelry. He is who he is and it's my role to help him be confident in being himself and feeling free to like what he likes. Enjoy this phase of his life and have fun with it:)

I wouldn't make anything of it. He is who he is. I would say to him, "yes, that would be interesting." There is nothing to deal with. Let him wish what he wishes and like what he likes.

He's only 6. It's very normal.
Does he hav a daddy around? Or is it just you and mommy? That makes a difference too. He's fine.

I have a 22 yo all boy sailor. Very blow 'em up, no pink or purple, very much a man, albeit still my baby. Anyway he wanted a Molly American Girl doll for Chrstmas at 8, it's all he wanted and it's what Santa gave him. He played with her for a year, she eventually gave way to Lego;s and all things Pokeman.

I feel trepidation adding my two cents, because so much depends on family backgrounds, religious beliefs, etc, etc, but since you ask for advice, I would say that I would never discourage my sons from their likes or dislikes, at the risk of them thinking there is something "wrong" with them or their likes. If my son's favorite color is pink, fine, if black, fine. If he wants to play with babydolls, great, if trucks, fine too. There is no logical connection between liking traditionally "girl" things with homosexuality. It is simply a like. If that is the fear, what if? Will discouraging him liking pink things at age 6 really make a difference when he's developing sexually? You can't get "infected" by homosexuality by playing with jewels. Since my sons began preschool any likes they had for pink or babydolls pretty quickly got squelched by their peers (they say, "that's a girl thing/boy thing"). When they say that, I like to say, "Well, my favorite color is blue, and I'm a girl." This is definitely complicated. If he's getting picked on at school, that's a whole other issue (bullying), but if not, I would encourage for parents to always keep relationship with their children open and honest and to do what's best for the baby, to make him feel loved, cherished, and respected no matter what. So there's my two cents. God bless.

There's nothing wrong with him. At six, they're still figuring out who they are.

One of my slightly younger cousins was like this until he almost 9yrs old. Loved the color pink, wanted to wear it all the time, played dress-up etc. Now he's alllll boy, he just grew out of it towards the end of elementary school.

It doesn't mean anything! he is six.
That means anything he likes now, he will not remember when he is 18:)

Those books are funny & deal with kids not acting very nice or following the rules, maybe he is interested in the ideas in those books.
Beads are sparkly & shiny, they are cool.

There could be lot of reasons he likes the things he does, but at 6 to over analyze it & try to imply it is anything more than a child being a child is ridiculous.
They are curious and interested in all kinds of things, at some point peer pressure of what is acceptable & gender roles will dictate more of his behavior. Until then let him be.

He may have said that because people have told him that only "girls like those things" that he likes. So he reasoned he wants to be a girl so he can like the things he does.

Who cares why he likes whatever he likes. There are no guarantees as to where it will lead, if anywhere at all. Leave the kid alone and don't pressure him one way or another. Try reading "My Princess Boy".

And AGAIN everybody, colors were not assigned to gender until just before the turn of the century, and at that time PINK AND RED were BOYS colors. They didn't switch until around the world wars. So knock it off everyone, colors don't mean anything to anyone unless you chose it to. And they certainly mean nothing to children without our input. God made all the colors and he assigned them no significance in the Bible, so why are we?