Guilt

Updated on December 21, 2006
M.S. asks from Trenton, NJ
12 answers

I have a 9 week old and was offered a fantastic job while on maternity leave, a company that I have been trying to get into for three years. Furthermore it is only 4.5 miles awy from my home. I am to start on Monday but I feel guilty leaving my baby. How do I cope with this?

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L.S.

answers from New York on

Not to worry...it does get easier. I have a ten month old who has been in daycare since 4 months. I balled and cried for the first week but I knew it was necessary. I HAD to work. Plus it was good for him too. He is learning how to play and share with others and also rely on other adults besides my husband and I. I think that is so healthy for a child so they are not clingy. I think it's good for their development and so far it's done wonders for jeffrey.

Best of luck to you!

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F.M.

answers from Utica on

Hi, M. this is F. i just sighned up for this and i seen your situation and i have 2 kids my son is 4 and my daughter is 2. I new how you felt but if you been wanting to get into this place. As long as you have someone to watch your baby thats trust worthy i think you should be fine. I'm sure your baby will be okay also. I think everything will be fine. Go do whats best for both of you.

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M.M.

answers from New York on

I too felt guilty when i went back to work and i just went back three weeks ago. Honestly it was best thing for me I really dont think i would be able to be a stay at home mom due to i enjoy the adult interaction and it is good to get away once in a while. You also have to realize that you are doing the best thing for you and for your baby...

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R.A.

answers from New York on

Stayin Home and Lovin It!!!!!!!
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http://robertaj.shaliteam.com

Stop feeling guilty Stay Home and Love it!!!
Roberta J.

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A.K.

answers from New York on

Aww, guilt is normal but the reality is that (for most anyways) we have to work so that we can provide the best for our little ones...right?) so please try not to feel bad about it. You're going to need time to get out of the house anyways, and interact with other adults. I went back to work when my now 4 1/2 month old was 12 weeks old. It was sooo hard but at the same time it keeps me grounded and sane! By no means is my little Hailey a difficuly baby but it's good to get out anyways. I admire mom's who can stay home and the ones that can work alike. Hopefully you go for it, and if you really can't deal with being away from your little one atleast you'll know you have tried and you can always quit the job! But don't not take the job cause then you'll be left wondering forever all the what if's......

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C.V.

answers from Albany on

My baby is 4 and I still have working mom guilt. I went back to work when she was 8 weeks old.

All you can do is treasure the time you have together.

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J.D.

answers from New York on

M.,

Is being a stay at home Mom an option for you? For some it is, and some it isn't. Many women aren't comfortable staying home because it doesn't fit with their personality and their goals. If you can't stay home, then you do what you have to do. No matter which side of that fence you stand on, there's guilt. There's a really great Montessouri pre-school near me that I would LOVE to send my son to in September, but I can't because the tuition is out of my reach. If I worked, I could afford that. No matter what choices you make, there are tradeoffs, and whenever you think about those, you're going to feel guilty. That's the badge of motherhood.

Hopefully you are feeling confident in your child-care choice. It's going to be hard, and you're going to cry, and then you're going to go home to him, and it'll be okay. It sounds like you've cut your commute down, so that's a benefit to him in the new job, and I bet a great offer means more money! That benefits your whole family too. Just do what needs doing, and you'll see that it's an adjustment, but you're all going to be all right with it.

Jess

C.V.

answers from New York on

I dont think the guilt will ever go away ... im going to be starting a job within the next two weeks and I know that its going to be hard to leave her every morning. Just think of it this way ... you are going to start this fantastic job that will help you provide more for your baby.A lso you will be close to home than most jobs so you will get home quicker than most ppl.

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A.G.

answers from New York on

would you like to work from home? im a educational consultant for discovery toys. if your interested i can send you the appliciation. to get started you have to purchase the rocket start kit which is $99.00 you get 10 toys. you will make 20% commission the more people you get to sell the toys the more commission you make. try to book parties the hostess gets free toys. i did a toy party wednesday night it was lots of fun i bought my 11 month old daughter with me. you demostrate the toys you let the children play. you can do these parties and bring your child with you. if your interested you can contact me.

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M.L.

answers from New York on

Talk it out while you look at him. Tell him exactly how you're feeling and how important the job is. Tell him , "Mommy has wanted this for a long time, and if I take it, we'll both be very happy."

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D.

answers from New York on

There really is no way to stop feeling guilty. My mother retired to take care of my son when he was 2 mos old for when I returned to work. And it still was hard. I still call her at least once a day to see how he is and he's now 2.5 yrs old. After a while the guilt will get better, but then it will get hard again when he starts to cry when you leave him. Just remember you can do this. You'll probably cry all the way to work the first day. This is completely normal. It's much harder on you then it is on him.

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A.M.

answers from Hartford on

Don't feel guilty....I returned to work at 8 weeks after my son's delievery. I do not have my dream job at the moment but I am happy to be working. I could not stay at home full time personally I would go nuts...if you were offered a job that you have been wanting try it out and see how it goes. Atleast you can then see if it is meant to be....you won't know unless you try. We ended up changing daycares about a month ago but I am happy to say in the end it was the best decision we could have made. My son is alot happier. I also have a son that is not afraid to go to strangers and does not need mommy all the time. I think daycare is a benefit to a child and will help them devolp in the long run. Everyone has their own ideas to raising a child so this is my opion only.

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