Guilt? - Melrose,MA

Hang in there J.! At first, my little one would not latch on at all. I was pumping and feeding him with a medicine dropper. I did get him to latch on with the use of a nipple shield. We used the shield for the first 3 months, and then he just seemed ready to breastfeed without it.

J.,

You should not feel guilty about switching to formula - easier said than done. My pediatrician told me the maximum benefit to the baby is in the first six weeks. I have found that breast feeding nazis should be avoided.

Pumping a home with a baby takes away any extra time you can squeeze - you know this better than I do.

Don't beat yourself up. You've done the best you can. We had a similar situation and had to choose a formula for our baby. We picked Nestle Good Start and it's been great so far.

Hang in there, and enjoy your baby!

aww its ok dont beat yourself about it and pumping is just as good but if u do switch to formula the best one in my opinion is similac advance good luck

Whatever you do will be fine. When I had my son, I had been through 5 years of infertility and was pregnant with the help of an egg donor. The one thing I wanted to feel easy and natural was breastfeeding. But my son was born tongue-tied (they snipped it at request of lactation consultant on the 2nd day), and my breasts weren't producing much milk. For these and other reasons, he couldn't really latch. We went home and came back for appointments at the hospital with lactation consultants and had an in-home consultation. I pumped with hospital grade pump (was better than others and covered by insurance), but I was pumping 8-10 times a day to get my supply up. Eating and drinking everything that someone suggested would help. Kept feeding a bottle and working on the latching. One night at 7 weeks he finally latched for about 30 minutes. Meanwhile, he had been having severe GI issues. The next day, he was confirmed to have a milk allergy. I was exhausted and spent by then and moved to prescription formula that helped with GI issues. I could have gone to a dairy-free diet, but I just couldn't handle the extra stress at that point. I had such expectations and guilt about stopping the breastfeeding, but I also realized I was getting so little quality time with my son because I was always pumping, feeding, cleaning supplies and exhausted! I had a great pediatrician who supported my decision. My son is now 2.5 years old and I realize things got much better after I gave up my idealized notion of breastfeeding. He got the important immune boost from the first 6 weeks of breast milk and I know in my heart that I made the best decision for us.

There is a chance that your baby will grow stronger and be able to latch on. Mine was born at 36 weeks and needed about 6 weeks of pumping and feeding with a Haberman feeder. Once she reached 7+ pounds I tried again and she was strong enough to nurse. The great thing about pumping from day 1 is that it seemed to really create a large supply due to the strong pump demand (I rented a double pump Medela model). If think if I had let her feeble sucking create the demand I would have had very little supply. I, too, thought to switch to formula but persevered and made it to 7 months of nursing before I went formula.

You have already gotten some wonderful advice, and lots of permission to do what is best for you and your family.
What I will throw in is that the first few weeks of breastfeeding can be very difficult, and if you do decide to hang in there with it, just know that it does get much easier after about 6 weeks (at least, that was my experience). My lactation consultant also prescribed APNO ointment (stands for All Purpose Nipple Ointment) for me - helped INCREDIBLY with pain, soreness, cracked and bleeding nipples. If you do decide to hang in with it, a good lactation consultant is crucial both for techniques and for emotional support.

If you do decide that it is too difficult, just know that you tried and you can make the best decision for both you and your family.

Also know that no matter what, the first 3 months with a newborn are difficult!
Best of luck to you!
Warmly,
E.

I had an easy answer because my daughter was jaundice at birth. While breast milk is best for some kids. Kids that are jaundice cannot have to much of it. So I did every other. One breast one formula. My body got use to it and produced less milk also so I wasnt all over the place dripping so to speak and I actually got to sleep a little longer at night. Don't stress your self out, it does not make you a bad mother. Just cut down slowly so you are not sore from not feeding and switch off and the stress will leave you.

J.,
First of all, STOP beating yourself up! This is not doing any good for your mental state nor is it healthy for your baby. I went through the exact same thing with my little girl. She wouldn't latch on, she would get frustrated, I would get frustrated, she had lots of tummy issues (allergic to the dairy I was eating, I found out later). My husband Kept saying "give her the boob"... I kept saying if you are so into breast feeding... you give her your boob". They think it is so easy. I saw 8, yes 8 lactation specialists! I made it through 3 months worth of pumping every 2 hours and bottle feeding her the milk. I was exhausted, she had tummy issues and had to be given little tummys after each feeding, it was very painful mentally for me to give up. I had post partum depression (although wasn't aware of it at the time) I went for my poast delivery check up and the Dr. made me feel so much better! She applauded my efforts for sticking with it for that long. She made me aware that I was actually hurting myself and my baby mentally by continuing. It wasn't healthy state of mind for either of us. She said all the nutrients of breast milk is sufficiently given within the first 12 weeks and anything after 3 months of breast feeding is just an added bonus. I kept my daughter indoors for the most part during the winter months/flu season her first year and she only got 2 small colds, no fevers, no ear infections. This year she is out and about in many different playgroups and doing fine with only 1 cold so far this year, no fevers and no ear infections.... I know many parents who never breast fed their kids who are healthy. More important, I think, is feeding her veggies and fruits when she is old enough to eat them. She will get all the nutrients she needs in those. Also, certain formulas have DHA added to them... buy those! Do what is right for you and in turn, will be right for your baby. Good luck with the choice.
M.
ps. I am a work from home mom and wife w/ 16 month old beautiful and smart baby girl.

Listen- you should not feel any guilt what so ever about switching to formula! All these things you talk about lead to stress..which is not good for you or your child. I lasted 5 weeks with the BF and found it to be the most stressful thing-which affected myself as well as my baby and neither of us were happy! Once I decided to switch to formula, things went great-and Dad could help out more too. I even used the Wal Mart brand and my daughter is thriving-she is in the top percentile for all her marks! So, no guilt needed for you-you need to enjoy this time with your baby!

Hi J.,
I've been there. I had to pump full time b/c my son was premie and couldn't latch. I got thrush and mastitis. It was a very trying time for me. I did eventually persevere and was able to BF happily for 18 months. Have you tried using a lactation consultant? Have you tried using a nipple shield to make it easier to latch? I'm sure it's even harder in your shoes since you have a preschooler as well. If you're really overwhelmed then just you do what you can. Maybe a good compromise would be to cut back to pumping 3 times a day and then supplement with formula. Even if you don't give 100% BM your baby will still reap the benefits of BM.

Congrats on your little and good luck with the BFing! :)

Hi J.,

First off let me just tell you, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I just gave birth to my 3rd child almost 2 weeks ago and after many attempts to get a "good latch" and nipples that were cracking and bleeding, I gave up. I did feel a little guilt at first but I came to the realization that I can't beat myself up about it. Both of my other 2 kids were formula fed and they are smart and no worse off because they were not given breast milk. The one thing I remember the lactation consultant say to me was "it should be enjoyable" and it was SO NOT enjoyable for me nor my son because we just were not connecting well making us both frustrated and upset during feedings. I was dreading having him go to the breast because of the pain, now that definitely doesn't sound enjoyable or good to me so I made the choice to stop. Don't let other people get you down about it either. If it's not enjoyable for you, stop, don't beat yourself up about it, your child will be just fine. :) Best of luck in whatever choice you make.

Hi J. - there will be so many things to feel guilty over being a mom, please don't let this be the first. Breast feeding (or not) is a choice each family makes for personal reasons. I have one daughter, almost 11, who is never - I mean never - sick, excels at school and her chosen athletics and is an extremely happy kid. I stopped breast feeding her at six weeks because I plain and simple did not like it. It was extremely painful for me (lots of sores and swollen nipples) and I began to resent feeding my own child. The switch to formula was the best thing I did for both of us. Looking back at the treatment I received from nurses and even some "friends" about the horrors of formula I get angry at myself for not standing up for what was best for us. So if bottle feeding is better for you, please go with it and just block out anyone who thinks they know better. Good luck, J..

2 things if you'd prefer to nurse. Medela I think makes silicone nipple shields. I had to use one for the 1st 6weeks cuz my son wouldn't latch either. It was a nuicance, but better than pumping every time. Then my sil adjusted him & miraculously he has been nursing/latching on ever since (now 15 mths old). She's a chiropractor, but studies B.E.S.T by Dr.Morter. You can look him up online to find someone, but if you want to know more I can get more info from my sis. FYI this wasn't a bone cracking or anything like that, think more like Reiki (energy fields).

I highly recommend looking for a good lactation consultant, the key word being good.

In lieu of fixing the latch issue and infections so that this isn't so painful for you, here's what I'd consider if you're going to start formula feeding:

Make your own formula. Talk with a nutritionist about infant needs and then mix your own. I know someone who did this and it meant she was able to tailor the formula to her baby's needs and sensitivities and avoid the extra junk that gets put into regular formula. It's not the same as breastmilk, but it's a compromise.

Wow, you're doing such hard work! I know where you've been, feeling miserable for being covered in milk and none of it going the way you planned.

Your milk is what your baby was meant to have, and baby is getting the best you can offer. Take it day by day, pump by pump - 6 weeks is too miserably far out.

Are you working with a lactation consultant or LLL to get things better, at least on the pumping end? You should *not* be getting infections if your pump is doing the job it's supposed to.

I'm a crazy mad pumper mom who did it for 2 years, but I expect no-one to follow that lead. There's lots of online groups for support.

Oh, been there! The thrush, mastitis, clogged ducts, 3 am pumping.
The only reason I kept going was that I had a micro-preemie who really needed the BM - but it was mixed with formula most of the time (he needed extra calories). I worked with 3 different lactation consultants beside Le Leche folks (one even made a house call for me!). It is important to find people you feel comfortable with.

For Poor latch I REALLY recommend a supplemental nurser so your baby gets to practice the latch, stimulate your milk production and get enough to eat. It feels weird at first - but can be very effective so the weirdness dissolves away.

NO Guilt!!! The best lactation consultant was also a NICU nurse who let me know that a healthy mom is the most important thing for any baby (If you are near Yale New Haven - Chris is her name). This meant I had to give up Reglan for milk production and deal with postpartum depression. I never breast fed exclusively - but I did nurse my baby until he self weened at 17 months. It was wonderful to nurse in bed and have help with bottle feedings other times. I wouldn't trade the tears and pain for the joy I got - but I wouldn't necessarily recommend the route I took.
There is no failing in parenthood (except for those abusive ones). We can never be the perfect parent and will always make mistakes - I know first hand about that. But with love and caring, we can be good parents. My older son still invited us to his wedding!! So it is easy for us to say don't feel guilty or to say to other responders don't feel like a failure. You have feelings that are yours and that's okay - so feel them and then let it go. Guilt is goodto help us change direction - but after that it only prolongs the problems.
You have already given your child a wonderful gift and have proven yourself to be a great mom - so whatever you and your family needs will be the right decision for YOU and your baby - the only ones who matter here.

I produced almost no breat milk so my baby was exclusive formula by 6 weeks. I felt like a failure, but the fact is, my daughter is happy & healthy & a great sleeper- and I wasn't breast fed & neither was my husband or pediatrician, so while I would have loved to bf, I cany think it's worh having a miserable mom!

my son wouldn't latch either. i lasted 3 weeks i was so exausted if i wasn't feeding him i was pumping. Don't beat yourself up in the 6 weeks he has had it he has gotten some really great benifits. my son is 2 now and is on track with his growth and has met all of his milestones on time if not early so if you need to stop don't stress too much, instead use that emergy to to enjoy that little one while you can. they get big so quick!

Sometimes it's not meant to be. Don't beat yourself up. You've tried really hard, and six weeks is a great benefit to your baby! With my first I went only 3 months - and it probably would have been better actually if I'd stopped earlier, because once she was on formula, she was much happier. I think she was allergic to my milk (later turned out to have a milk allergy). So here I was trying my best, but it really wasn't better for her. And a stressed-out Mommy is never good! It's different with every kid. With my second, she'd taking nothing but - and I ended up going 18 months - way past what I wanted. I learned then that you can't always plan this out. I work with a couple of women who did not breastfeed at all - kids are older now - ages 6 through 10 - all perfectly healthy and smart. You've done a good job - give yourself a break!

I would not beat yourself up over this at all. My first child never did quite figure out how to latch on. Poor thing never gained any weight in the first two weeks and the doctors forced me to supplement with formula. I felt like a total failure and had the hardest time accepting the fact that my son was not on breastmilk only.

Finally after many counseling sessions with the lactation nurses and a husband who didn't know who I turned into, I decided to stop breastfeeding at 5 weeks. It took me a bit to come to this decision but once I did, my life turned around. I actually enjoyed being a mom!

So when child #2 came along, my husband had many reservations when I told him I wanted to breastfeed. I told him that the pressure was off. We had one beautiful healthy child who had been formula fed, so I knew it wasn't the end of the world if this one needed to take a bottle. But sure enough, my daughter started breastfeeding hours after she was born and did so perfectly for 6 months.

Good luck with your decision. Just know that your baby will be healthy and happy, breastfed or bottle fed!

First off, I'm sorry you're having such a tough time! I also stuggled with breast feeding and pumped for a while for both of my children. I think I made it almost three months pumping amd mixing with formula for my first baby and only 4 weeks with my second baby. But they are both healthy/happy children! Do not beat yourself up over it. I felt tremendous guilt but I've let it go and all is well. Best of luck!

I felt the same way!! But one thing that I was told that I found very reassuring is that some breast milk is better than no breast milk at all. So by giving your baby breast milk for a little while, you've done an awesome job to help your baby's immunity.

One thing I'll mention is that we had a bit of a problem with gas issues and constipation when we switched to formula (regular enfamil). We ultimately switched to gentlease and we had success. Good luck and take care of yourself!

Breastfeeding is not for everyone. I have been where you are and was made to feel guilty by others who were successful breastfeeders and couldn't understand what I was going through (not intentionally, but they did). I never had any breastmilk come in. I worked with the lactation consultant for the first few weeks and it still never came in. I breastfed exclusively for the first week (not knowing any better) and my child lost so much weight. We then worked at it for a couple more weeks with the doctor and the lactation consultant doing everything we could to try to stimulate my milk and it never worked. I was breastfeeding and then following up with pumping and bottlefeeding so that I was trying to get my milk to come in while also giving my daughter what she needed. The most I ever managed to express was about a tablespoon of milk. I felt like a failure listening to everyone else complain about how they had so much milk and were constanatly leaking through everything etc. Especially since we have no idea why my milk never came in -- I felt like a complete failure as a mom since this should be a natural part of being a female.

But you know what, I have two beautiful, incredibly healthy and incredibly smart children even though they were bottlefed. Their immune systems are great -- they are rarely if ever sick and my breastfed friends' kids are sick much more than them -- and they are at the top of their classes in school. Bottlefeeding certainly didn't hurt them. Our generation was mostly bottlefed as well and we turned out fine -- my husband and I were both bottlefed. Every once in a while I feel a pang of guilt still when I hear breastfeeding moms go on and on about it, but I know what I did was best for my children. I just wish more breastfeeding moms could understand that it isn't always about getting support for breastfeeding, sometimes it really isn't in the best interest of the mom or the baby. Good luck and do not beat yourself up over this. You are trying to do the best thing for your baby -- that makes you a great mom!

This happened to me and, while I think it's natural to feel like a failure, it's not really the way things are! I beat up on myself and I hope you will NOT follow suit! There are lots of ways to raise a healthy baby! I really wasn't producing enough milk due to breast infections, I got lousy advice from the pediatrician's nurse (my pedi was away on vaca, of course), and my baby really suffered. When my pedi came back, she fired the nurse and had me put the baby on formula, cereal and fruit right away. He wasn't growing well at all so it could have been dangerous.

There's a saying that "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." You MUST take care of yourself (body and mind and spirit), and that will give you a happy baby. Your newborn and your older child are entitled to a mom who is doing the best thing for herself - if that means formula instead of being a slave to a pump and some breast infections, then go for it! Heal yourself!

My kid is a happy and healthy well-adjusted college student - formula didn't set him back one bit.

Also, my stepdaughter BFd her first child but just couldn't with the 2nd child. The 2nd is just as well adjusted and is actually even a much better eater than the first one, so you never know how it's going to turn out. BF isn't for everyone all the time.

When I think of all the work women have done to give ourselves more choices and more rights, I really feel we should be empowered to do what we need to with our children, and not be enslaved to some idea of there being only one right way.

Good luck!

All three of my children have been exclusively bottle fed. They are healthy, smart, and well adjusted! In fact I know they are better off becuse they had a mom who was rested, patient,and emotionally present instead of a mom who was stressed out and worn thin due to breastfeeding. When my first son was three days old I had a visiting nurse tell me, "If you are looking for permission to stop breastfeeding, I am here to give it to you. Your child will benefit far more from a mother who is calm and happy than from breastmilk." It was one of the defining moments of motherhood for me. She gave me the courage to act on what, in my heart, I knew was right for my family. As mothers we often ignore our own instincts out of fear of being judged. Stay strong and make what ever choice is right for you.

You need to do what's right for you. Your child will be healthy either way. It was a while ago for me as my babies are now almost 6 and 3 and I breastfed one until 8 months and the other I weaned to formula around 5 months. Like someone else said, though, I did go longer than I thought.

Remember when you do stop to wean gradually off...like drop one pump a day for three day or so before dropping another one. That's for your breasts. It will also give you a chance to gradually see how your baby does with formula.

My only last comment would be something my sister-in-law said to me recently. (my neice is 8 months). She has been considering weaning, too, but wanted the immune system benefits of breastfeeding. As your baby heads into winter, those benefits may help with various colds and viruses out there. However, there are other things you can do to keep that to a minimum...like limiting exposure to others, hand washing, disinfecting etc. And even then, there's only so much you can do.

Trust yourself. You are doing what's right for you and your baby by loving and caring and feeding in whatever way possible.

Congratulations on the birth of your baby!! It is obvious from your post that you are a great mom and only want to do the best for your baby. Like the other replies say, don't beat yourself up about the breastfeeding thing because it is not good for you. Switching to formula is one of the hardest but most freeing feelings. I could go on about my stories but the long/short of it is that I did it for about 1 month both times and then switched to formula. My kids (2.5 and 6 mos) are healthy, smart and well adjusted. Me...I am more rested, able to share the feeding responsibility and feel at ease because my baby is satisfied with her feedings.
Best of luck!

I'm sure everything will be fine. I stopped breastfeeding my little girl at 3 months because of personal reasons, and she is a smart, healthy 20 month old. =) It will be better for your child to have a happy mother than a stressed out mother. Good luck!

Ain't motherhood grand? No matter what thoughtful decisions and painful sacrifices we make, we all seem to guilt ourselves about this or that. You're doing a great job and you have your baby's best interests at heart. Try to remember that in those moments when you're feeling upset.

Those first six weeks (three months, usually) are incredibly tough in terms of breastfeeding, even if the baby is a great latcher, you're an ample producer, and the baby's gaining weight. So please try to give yourself credit for all you're efforts, recognize that exclusive breastfeeding isn't working for the two of you, and do what works for you and your baby.

Best wishes!

I am sorry you are having such a hard time. I just want to tell you I pumped for both my daughters. My first daughter, I pumped for 4.5 months and supplemented with formula when it was needed. For my second daughter, she was exclusively fed breast milk through pumping for 7.5 months and then I had to start supplementing with formula. I finally stopped pumping at a year even though she was still getting about 1 bottle of breast milk a day. So it is possible to pump long term but it does take a lot of determination.
My best advice is freeze, freeze, freeze!
But, if you feel you can't continue because you it is too much, don't beat yourself up. It is better for you to be healthy than not!

Oh...How stressful for you. You would be surprised to hear how many people don't BF at all. Good for you for pumping as long as you have been. I BF with my first for MONTHS because he didn't like the bottle. With my second I started a bottle with formula after about 2 mos. and I switch back and forth. I never pump..doesn't work for me. My baby is 8mos. and still BF and takes formula. He is doing awesome and Mom is thrilled. When my sister was guilt ridden because she couldn't get the whole BF working for her, a nurse told her, "Your baby will still go to college. Don't stress about it!" Made her feel so much better. Make a decision and stick to it. Your baby will be fine!

Stop beating yourself up...I thought I would be the Mom to breastfeed for at least 6 months but it didn't turn out that way. I breast fed exclusively for 5 weeks, pumped for 3, then switched to formula (Enfamil with Lipil) and our daughter had very few digestive problems and is a beautiful, healthy, smart 4-yr.-old little girl. I also found that once I started bottle feeding, she ate better, slept better and Daddy had bonding time with her as well. Every Mom is different and your baby will be just fine!

Hi J.
Dont give up. BM has all the benefits for you LO. I just had a baby 3 months ago and I am nursing as well. It gets easier and keep trying with latching. He/she will eventually latch on, but if not pumping is still great. You will get used to it. Formula is so expensive and where it still offers nutrients BM is the best. Dont give up, you can do it. Just think of ther little engine that could. Good luck
S.

Your baby needs a mom more than he/she needs breastmilk. Take care if youself

You are not alone! This is a common problem and can be alleviated with the proper advice and guidance. Please contact a lactation counselor(they can come to your house and show you proper techniques), and your local Le Leche Leauge leader http://www.llli.org/ Dr. Sears also has an extensive collection of articles and advice on breastfeeding: http://askdrsears.com/html/2/T020100.asp
Sounds like you simply need someone to help you and show you some techniques, try not to feel guilty or give up. Good Luck and congrats on you newborn.

Hello J.
You should not feel guilty at all. You should do whatever works best for your and your family. You've gotten lots of advise both ways but just wanted to share my story which really changed my nursing experience. My first daughter had such a bad latch my nipples were torn up and I was crying in pain whenever she tried to nurse. Her pediatrician (who we dropped fast!) didn't recognize any problem. My midwife took one look in her mouth and noticed she was tongue tied and physically not able to latch on correctly. Our new Pedi did a 10 second procedure in the office to snip the extra connection under her tongue and she was latching on correctly immediately. Might not be the issue with your little one but if you want to try to continue nursing you may want to have a midwife or lactation consultant take a look at the baby's tongue.
Best of luck!

Every drop of breastmilk that you give your baby is an amazing gift. Please don't feel bad, its wonderful that you are going thru the aggravation of pumping!

Have you talked to a lactation consultant or contacted your local la leche group? They might be able to help you get a better latch!

If you end up having to give formula, don't beat yourself up over it. You tried your and that is what matters.

J.,
I totally agree with Betsy. I have 2 chilrem 7 & 9.When my 9 yr old was born I was miserable breastfeeding and after trying like crazy and making my family crazy I lasted 3 mos. Well, when my son came 2 yrs later guilt overcame me to try again. It was even more difficult the second time and after beating myself up and tears I stopped in the second month. Looking back I feel regret and guilt that I was so miserable at what should have been such a happy time!!!! Breastfeeding is NOT for everyone. Those that push, push, push to breastfeed are the ones that is might be easier for. I tried my hardest and it sounds like you are too! Stop breastfeeding and stop feeling guilty! You are already a wonderful mom for trying so hard. Good Luck!!!! I hope this helped you! I wish Mammasource was around back when my kids were babies. You ladies are awesome!

J.,
my name is T. g and I am mom to 2 teens and a 5 month old. I tried my best for 5 weeks to only breastfeed and pump and when my baby would cry b/c he was so hungry after the bottle of bm. My body could not produce enough to keep him satisfied so at 5 weeks we went to half bm half formula and hebwas fine with the both. I would say to keep pumping whenever you can it is hard I know. That was always hardest for me was just the pumping part. Do what you can and always know something is better nothing. The bonding part is important as well as the nutrients baby gets from you. Don't be hard on yourself baby can feel the saddness. Do what you can and know it is the best you can do.
Best of luck.
T.

My heart goes out to you, since it sounds so familiar. As hard as it is, there is NOTHING wrong with formula. I had planned to try to breastfeed my first 6 months. But I only made it 5 days! My daughter couldn't latch and I had an inverted nipple, so I was constantly pumping and hated it. I felt so guilty, but my husband and parents were all for formula...so I switched. Both my husband and I were formula feed and we turned out OK (or at least I think so!)
Even though it made my life easier, the worse part was going to playgroups. I felt like I was the only one using formula. I am not an emotional person, but I remember my first new mom's group and we went around the room introducing ourselves. And when we got to me (after about 10 people), I had to answer I am formula feeding. I felt like crying, because out of the entire group of 16 people I was the only one formula feeding.
But it was the right choice for me. I would have never felt confortable feeding in public. Carrying around a bottle was so much easier. And I didn't have to be home every 3 hours to pump. My husband also was able to feed her.
In the end it was fine. (When I had my second child a year ago, I didn't even attempt to bf and went straight to formula.) My girls are now 4 and 1 and they are doing great.

Hi,
Hang in there, you are doing really well already. Some pratical advice from a Mom who is just finishing up a year (woo hoo) on exclusively pumping and no breastfeeding due to poor latch, is get the right pump. It makes all the difference. Use a hospital grade pump that you rent from the hospital. The first time around I used a Medela pump instyle, that is top of the line that you can buy, and I had tons of problems, blocked ducts etc. It just wasn't strong enough. The hospital grade gave me no trouble at all, no infections, blocked ducts. It also increases supply where the others don't. Try this before you give up. It can be rented monthly so the commitment is low just in case you don't think you can make it month to month. I looked into buying it and it is $1500, which even if you rent for a year it is cheaper to rent than buy unless you know you are going to do this with multiple children. By the way, congrats on your new baby!!!!
E.

Hi J.,
Hang in there! I had to pump, too, for my little one, and it is so tiring and frustrating. BUT, at three weeks old she got it! Perfect latch, no more problems at all. In fact she decided she wanted to BF for two full years (also tiring and frustrating!). So, don't give up, sometimes it just takes a while for your newborn to have the "oh THAT'S what they're for" moment! Good luck.

J., this exact same thing happened to me. I pumped for 6 weeks and then I got such a bad breast infection that I had to stop. My baby never latched because he was born with a small jaw, but I still felt like a bad mom. I was convinced that my baby was going to be stupid, obese, and sick all the time because I couldn't continue to pump exclusively and give him breastmilk. But I finally decided that I wanted to be relaxed when I was feeding him, and not stressed, and moving to formula was the best thing I ever did. I suddenly enjoyed the feedings instead of feeling like a stressed failure. I started with Similac Advance because I felt that I had the buy the most expensive brand in order to give my baby everything he needed, but after a few months an a lot of research, I switched the Bright Beginnings brand, which was half the price and had all of the same benefits. Good luck. Be gentle with yourself.

Best,
J.

I dont really have a lot of advice to give..I tried to nurse my first and it was awful so it only lasted for about two weeks! My second I didn't even try with and I am now expecting my 3rd in a little over 2 weeks and decided to try again. With my first I was so guilty about not doing it longer and not enjoying it and also felt a little guilty for not deciding to try with my second but you need to do what works for you! and try not to feel guilty! if you are not happy then the baby will sense that and it will only make things worse!! Good Luck!!

J.,

Can I just tell you that you have done sucha wonderful thing for your baby already with every ounce of breastmilk that you have been able to provide. Do you have a rented pump? I ask only because if you are pumping only, it may help your supply to have a powerful pump. You may also be able to call the hospital near you and ask to speak to a lactation consultant to help you. I had my baby at Lowell General. They have a great lactation team and do individual appointments and have a BF support group. There are lots of options. All that being said, if you are ready to supplement with some formula, don't give yourself a hard time. Your kids will do best with a happy Mommy, no matter what they eat.

Best of Luck,
S.

I was really discouraged with breastfeeding initially because my lactation hormones made me nauseous all day long about a week or so after my son's birth. I was actually prepared to throw in the towel and had gone out and purchased bottles, but by the grace of God (and the insistence of my parents), I stuck with it.

God has given me strength through all sorts of struggles: low milk supply, mastitis, clogged milk ducts, yeast infection on my breast - yum! These situations surely caused a lot of tears, but at the end of the day, they were just moments in time.

My advice about switching to formula is that if you are at the end of your rope, it is the right thing to do, but I also want to encourage you that your rope is probably longer than you think.

BTW - the physical discomfort of nursing/pumping goes away after a few weeks, if you haven't already noticed.

My daughter had a poor latch too and I struggled for the first 2 months.
First relax and know that any breast milk is good for the baby.
I drank mothers milk tea, ate oatmeal and took fenugreek and all those helped produce more milk.
During the day I would read to my son while pumping and had the baby in the swing if she wasn't sleeping. I also had the pump set up next to the computer so I could pump and surf the net too.
When my husband was home he took over with the kids. It is hard but you can do it. I had to say to myself if I get throuh today it's an accomplishment. It was all about day to day not a week or a month. Before I knew it 6 months had passed and then a year. My daughter will be 2 in Jan and is still breastfeeding. I would let her practice latching on during the night and that helped. I still pumped for a year for her because it was easier in a way(she's very active)and let her breastfeed when she wanted.
Good luck you can do it