5 year old lost all her hair and diagnosed with alopecia and refuses to wear wigs. I get anxious when I take my child out in public. Looking for someone who has dealt with this.
I hope this helps a bit. I haven't dealt with hair loss in my daughter but she is on chemo and her doc's said she would probably lose her hair so we discussed it and she didn't want to wear wigs either. She said she would just buy lots of cute hats.
I'm sorry to her of your childs condition, but it sounds like she's dealing with it better than you are. Wigs are itchy and uncomfortable, and since this is going to be a life long issue, I think the fact that she's OK with herself is a gift.
My son has a friend (age 7) who has alopecia and is completely bald. The parents were amazing, they encouraged him to talk about how he felt about it, but they never made him feel different or unaccepted. Since he's so comfortable with it the kids have learned to ignore it.
Instead of worrying about how to get your child to wear a wig, I'd go get some good therapy to figure out why it's making you so anxious. Good luck
my daughter daisy(2 1/2) also has alopecia she is even starting to lose her eyelashes ( alopecia universalis). she started losing all her hair in january this year. i know how hard it can be ... i went through all the crying and feeling hopelessness thing already (i think i must have laid in bed a few months being depressed. couldn't do a thing!!) and now just recently i've come to terms with it and fully accept it.. and i'm soooo grateful that my daughter feels happy, healthy and can run around and do what other kids do.
i understand how you can feel anxious in public with everyone staring, but my advice to you is just don't let it bother you. people are just going to give you looks of sympathy (well meaning) because they are going to think that your daughter is going through chemo or something and is dying or they are going to keep their children away because they think it might be something contagious. and it's all because they just don't know and are just not educated about it. alopecia awareness often gets pushed to the side because it is not a life threatening or real health issue. so getting back to the point.. if people stare, just stare back at them and make them feel uncomfortable. but also most importantly talk to them so that they understand and are aware that this is just something that you are born with and can't help.
you are going to have to be an extra strong mother... if you accept the baldness, then your daughter will too. and ultimately she will accept herself. at this age they just absorb everything like a sponge and most of what they do or feel is from you... you are their #1 role model!
i agree with the other responses with the big floppy hats as it is a health issue. however if your daughter doesn't want to do hats either, my daughter does lots of hoodies. they make lots of short sleeve kinds with hearts/skulls/bows patterns at target ( everyone just thinks shes so adorable wearing a little hoodie around!)
as for the wig thing i'll let daisy decide if she wants to wear one or not. i know that they make really comfortable ones that don't come off when you hang upside down or even swim! they are called freedom wigs and start around $2800 though. many alopecians wear them without their friends or family even knowing for many years!
i would suggest www.alopeciaworld.com for support so that you don't feel so isolated...you are definitely not alone. there is even a famous runway model anna fitzpatrick who has modeled bald bold and all. she even has a boyfriend who sees her baldness as not that big of a deal. your daughter's life is not limited , if anything it will make her stronger like no one else. embrace it!
I worked with a girl that had that and she seemed quite at ease with herself. Maybe you could deal with your feelings of of anxiousness and let her be.
When she feels that covering her head is in her best interests she will. You may be able to get her to wear some cute hats so she keeps her head from being sunburned. This is a different direction than looks, it is for her health.
I'm pretty straightforward, so at the cost of sounding mean, which is NOT the intent....
Your daughter sounds perfect! How many girls have body image issues? She's totally ok not having hair. Good for her. You really might want to look at you and your self-image. It sounds like the problem is you. Why are you anxious? Is your daugher anxious? If not, then you know where to look.
We all have our cross to bear, so to say...and she is very emotionally healthy...don't make her think there is something wrong with her. Hair does NOT make us beautiful - it's what's inside. I think your daughter is teaching you a wonderful lesson in life.
http://www.baldgirlsdolunch.org/
I found this website - scroll down to the middle - lots of beautiful women without hair becuase they shaved it, but beautiful nonetheless.
My cousin lost all her hair. She also refused to wear wigs, saying they were too uncomfortable and just didn't feell "like her". She is now grown,and is still bald with the exception of when she had her children. They've done tons of test on her and have decided it is some sort of hormonal issue but I'm not sure what. She seems fine with not having hair...actually far more resolved than her parents who continued to "fix" it. I have no advise really try to find out what's causing it but take her lead on her comfort level with it all if you can.
I have not had to deal with this, but at my last duty station I worked with a female who was completely bald. She did not wear wigs unless we had a formal event or function in the evening. During the duty day, she never once wore a wig. She is a very smart, confident, career woman with a wonderful husband and son. I do not know how much she had to go through growing up, but her parents must have instilled confindence and love in her for her to be so comfortable with herself and her situation. It was never an issue for any of us that worked with her. I pray your daughter grows up knowing how beautiful she is with or without hair.
A little about me: Working mom of beautiful twin daughters. One had a stroke while I was pregnant so we are working with theripists to learn techniques to teach her to function with her paralysis.
I work with children who have cancer, and I've noticed that when it comes to hair loss, kids often take their cues from their parents. If the parent sees hair loss as a tragedy, often the child will also adopt that attitude also. You need to change your attitude lest it rub off on your daughter. If it doesn't bother her, it certainly shouldn't bother you. Hair is insignificant in the "big picture". Unfortunately, we live in an "appearances are everything" culture. It sounds as if this will be a good life lesson for you. Just like my grandma used to say, pretty comes from the inside.
If it doesn't bother her, please don't let her know it bothers her. She has a great attitude. Some teens shave their heads on purpose or do other wild things with their hair. Some call it self-expression, some rebelling against the norm, others do it just to UPSET their PARENTS! Just don't let your problem w/ her lack of hair, become an emotional burden that will effect her the rest of her life.
My friends daughter has this too. Have you tried cute hats. If you get summer floppy hats they can be very cute and they keep her face partially shaded so there isn't as much sunburn.
You can buy different color ones and put cute applicas on them or paint them with fabric paint or embrodier on them. Another thing fun is different color pretty bandanas. If she isn't having a problem with it, you need to feel comfortable about how she looks. D.
Alopecia is typically a stress reaction in children. Talk to her often and try not to let your insecurities about beauty get in the way of her self confidence. This is a great teaching opportunity. You can celebrate with your daughter her eternal beauty, no matter how the physical manifests. The physical always changes (as mothers, don't we know!)
Dress your baby lovely and kiss her bald head and celebrate! this might lessen the stress she feels in her life and make her hair bloom full again!
Best,
I have three friends with this condition since early childhood. No one cares: they don't, other friends and I don't, and their spouses don't. Please focus on your child's comfort rather than that of total strangers. She sounds like a stud! I'd be proud of her healthy attitude. We can learn a lot from our kids, don't you agree?
Best wishes from
M.
dont get anxious your child must be just fine with it.and i am sure your child is just as pretty with out hair as with.Dose your child get anxious when you do? M.
Get a cool hat and teach your daughter how to talk to people about her hair loss. First YOU need to be comfortable with the fact that your child has this condition (and she will all her life) and then you need to coach her into helping others feel more comfortable about it. Kids are the best. She just needs to say "I have alopecia, that means I can't grow any hair...you can't catch it" and the other kids on the playground will say "OK Let's go play on the swings" and that will be it.
I gave birth to my son back in 2005. Being my first baby I went through that "first time mom" buying frenzy. Back then I had to buy the best of everything. I remember buying this memory foam pillow for babies. 6 months later my son's hair started falling off. i first blamed it on the pillow (no clue why). so i took him to a dermatologist and the doctor said he might be stressed out he was then diagnosed with alopecia areata. I didn't worry about him being "the bald kid" in school because he has this perfect head! :) i know because thats what everybody say. :) when kids make comments about my son's bald head he'd just ask them to touch his head and feel how smooth it is and it actually works! I am so proud of him!
My 12 year old daughter has alopecia aerota. She has had it since she was 5 yrs old. Used to be patches every 6 months about the size of a quarter. Now she is loosing all her hair. Has been wearing a pony tail for almost a year because when she wore it up no one could tell she was loosing her hair. Now it is getting so bad that even a ponytail wont hide it. She is probably going to have to shave her head. It is the most saddest thing to me. She is very self conscious and thinks she is so ugly. She starts middle school next month so it is going to be very challenging. She has a wig that we got that was very expensive. A little girls wig but she can not get it to stay on her head and is afraid everyone will knows its a wig. I'm just clueless on what to do. Trying to find cute looking bandanas for her to wear to school.
Alopecia may be an indicator of an autoimmune disorder. I'd suggest you get a juicer. A juicer extracts the enzymes from fruits and vegetables and packs a ton of nutrition in each glass. There are many books on juicing. It would be great for the whole family. Add superfood, dehydrated greens- wheatgrass, rye grass, spirulina, and you will really charge up her immune system. When the body is stressed it is often lacking in B complex and spirulina provides abundant source of it. (sounds like you could use some to get you through this also!) You can find superfood at any good health food store. My grandson loves his "g'een juice." You might also check with a naturopath and have your daughter's hormone levels checked to see if something else is going on. If your daughter refuses to wear wigs, just make sure she is protected from the sun and embrace it!
My son has alopecia-he had a brain tumor-and his hair has never grown back. This is very rare in kids (his oncologist has never had a kid not grow his hair back). And, it bugs me. I know in the relm of life, so what! He has already been through so much, could he just get some hair already! But, you know, He doesn't have a brain tumor, so I am grateful for that. He wears hats outside-always. And he could care less that he doesn't have hair. For me, the looks of pity are the worst. When he was sick I never noticed, now that he is perfectly healthy I do. Personally, I wouldn't push the wig. But, if you daughter wants one-do it. I only ever knew 1 chemo kid that wore a wig, and that was totally on her parents. it was weird seeing a little kid w/ a wig. Most kids did the bandana thing-which is totally cute. And, that might annoy your daughter less than a hat. Good luck
