Has Anyone Had a Miscarriage?

I am so sorry for you. I was pregnant around the same time, in January and I miscarried in my 4th week. I was not too far along either, but my main pain was that I had been trying since Sept. of the year before and had to start over again. The hardest part was how to tell my 6 yr old son, who has wanted a sibling since he was 2 that there was no baby. We just told him we made a mistake, so he would not feel the loss. It seemed like forever, but I got pregnant again about 2 months later and am now 7 months along-having another boy! Everything is going well so far, so try not to worry. My neighbor also miscarried around that time and is still trying. As far as I know, she has not concieved again yet, she also has a 4 yr old son. It is different for everyone, so try not to worry and all will work out, just as it is supposed to.

I went through the same thing when I was 27. I was 3 months when I miscarried. It devastated me. I was already showing. It was a hard time in my life. I had a 9 year old at the time and knew I had better have another one quick or I might not get to. I was ready to start a family with my second husband. 6 months after that I found out I was pregant with my soon to be 6 year old. I was excited and scared at the same time. I didn't want to go through that again. I hard a rough time with my first pregnancy (I was 18) and was scared to death of this one. In the end every thing was great. I even waited tables until the day my water broke and had a easy delivery. I feel that what happen was because it was meant to be and If I had not miscarried I would not have my 6 year old now. She is a smart and healthy child and I couldn't be happier. Everything happens for a reason and in the end I came out better for having gone through it. Time will heal this. I will not forget but I can live with the sadness now.

Hello J., I have two children 4 year old girl and 2 1/2 year old boy. I discovered I was pregnant the first part of August and by the end of August I had miscarried. It is an awful experience. I just tried to do what you are doing. I talked to other moms, my mom and sisters and friends, just about everyone woman you know who has children has also miscarried. You are not alone.

Hi J., sorry to hear about your loss. I had a miscarriage about 4 years ago and it was horrible, I felt like something was wrong with me because I couldn't carry anymore children (I had a daughter already). But things got better and my husband and I tried again as soon as we could and now I have a healthy 3 yr old boy. Strangely, I kind of thank God for it because I wouldn't have my son now, and I wouldn't trade him for anything. Being afraid of any problems in the future is normal, miscarriage happens alot more than we think it does. Just remind yourself that you have one healthy child already and talk to your doctor about any concerns that you have and questions about miscarriages. Life does get better when we lose someone and you might even find a special way to remember that pregnancy even though it was so short; I did and it helped. Good Luck and God Bless.

J.,
My name is J., I am 25 and just had my first miscarriage. I found out I was pregnant on labor day and just found out monday that I had a miscarriage,,I went in yesterday to get a D and C.
I was about the same as you as far as how pregnant I was,,even though it was so short, you still feel like you lost someone. Ive been dealing with this by remembering that everything happens for a reason. I really believe that. Who knows what that reason is, we'll probably never know, but if you can trust in God then it will make it easier on you. Ive been trying to look at the positive side of things,,like now I can spend more quality time with my little one,,since he just turned one. And with my older one who is only 2 1/2.
Were going to try again in several months for another baby and Im sure when the time is right it will happen.
Good luck to you and your family, I know that things will turn out ok for you guys. Please feel free to email me.

Hello J.,
Just wanted to let you know that my prayers are with you today! My husband and I were told that we probably could not have any children due to my endometriosis. Well, long story short, I did conceive and carried for 14 weeks, then lost the baby. It was so devastating and hard to get through. Reading your message this morning, brought me back to those same feelings that you are experiencing. I blamed myself, what did I do wrong, and was so angry with people who were able to carry. Also, my best friend and I were only 2 weeks apart in our pregnancy. Well, God is good, he got me through all of it. Let yourself grieve, even though it was a short pregnancy, it was your child, and the minute you find out that you are pregnant, you fall in love with that child and all the dreams that you have for that child. Now, I have been blessed with 2 girls of my own and thank God for them daily. Hope you can find some comfort in this response. Remember, it's okay to cry, it's okay to mourn, this was your baby!.
In my prayers,
D.

I had two normal pregnancies and healthy children when I unexpectantly got pregnant and miscarried. It was really hard, but I looked at it as God taking care of me. I knew it my heart that there had to have been something wrong with the baby are God would not have taken it. When we decided to have another child I was really apprehensive about getting pregnant and I was scared of another miscarriage. It took a little longer to get pregnant than with my first two, but we did and everything turned out fine. She is a happy healthy 19 month old and I feel very blessed to have her. Just have faith that everything is going to be fine and it will be.

Hi J., my name is R. and I am a 26 year old single mother of two. I just suffered a miscarriage in Febuary of this year, so my heart really goes out to you. There is not really anything anyone can say or do to make it better, but trust in the fact that time will ease the pain. I just wanted to reach out to you to let you know that you are normal and I know I felt very much the same way as my sister concieved just weeks after my loss. It is hard to not be jealous, but in time you will be happy for them and your time will come, now was just not it. Take care of yourself, keep your chin up and it will get better. XOXOXOXO

I too just had a miscarriage...I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant and then started bleeding tremendously, just like a normal period. My husband and I have an 11 month old daughter and were so excited to learn another one was on the way. I also had a loss before our daughter...When I was 17 I delivered at 24 weeks and my daughter lived for two weeks before she passed...I don't know if you believe in God, but He always gets me through everything...also, you say your husband adores you which I'm sure he does...My husband is extremely supportive also, but it's nice to know from another mama that you're gonna be okay...God just wanted your baby back in heaven a little early!!

J.,
I had a miscarriage also but it was before I even had kids. The doctor was a little worried about how the baby was forming and my hormone levels were low. Since there was already a heartbeat, I thought everything was fine. When I went to the next appt. the heartbeat had stopped (I was 10 weeks). It felt like my world had ended. I,like you, thought I could never have kids but we did try again and now have two beautiful kids. It is only normal to feel the way you do. It will take time to get over the loss but believe me, it will get better.

I had a miscarriage before my first daughter was born. We'd tried for 4 years to get pregnant and when I did I miscarried. My husband and I were devastated. The only advice I have is grieve when/how you need to. Don't keep your feelings bottled up. We ended up getting pregnant with my daughter the first time we tried after my miscarriage. I wish you the best of luck!

I can completely understand your pain and feelings of loss. I have 2 sons ages 5 and 14 but I had two miscarriages between the two. Both were very painful to deal with but time has soothed the pain somewhat. It took me and my husband quite some time to get over the first one. The second one wasn't any less painful, but I seemed to have taken it better than the first. However, my husband took it worse.When I became pregnant with my youngest I was so scared it was going to happen again. I was so terrified of going through another miscarriage. But, by the grace of God, everything was fine.

It is going to take some time for the pain to subside, but hopefully with the support of your husband, family, and friends it will eventually happen. I can say that it never has completely gone away. I still think about those babies and what they would have been like had I been able to carry them to full term. It will always feel like a loss and I will always carry love in my heart for them. But I believe that God had a hand in all of this and it just wasn't time for me to have another child.

I hope that you are able to find peace with this. And if you need to talk about it, shoot me an email. I don't mind listening. I didn't have many friends at the time I went through both of mine and I think it helps to talk about it. My email at work is ____@____.com

I have never had a miscarrige, however, I would say that is normal to be sad even if you did not carry the baby for very long there are also hormones (fluxuations and adjustments) to consider. The only advice that I could give would be to change the way that you look at this miscarrige. Maybe there was something wrong with the fetus and not you. Let yourself be a little sad but change the way that you look at your situation and try to dismiss the worry you feel over trying again. I can only imagin that stress would hinder the process. Good luck.

I've been there. 2 years ago, I found out I was pregnate the same day as a coworker(my husband's cousin)... on my first dr's visit I found out that the baby had died. I was devistated...I still don't know how I got to my friend's house to pick up my son... so I know how hard it is to see someone who is pregnate... plus a few months later my sister found out she was pregnate, and a couple of other friends as well. best advice I can give is don't keep everything bottled up, I imagine your coworkers are understanding. and just because you miscarried does not nessassarly mean you won't be able to have another baby. my sister miscarried twice before she got pregnate that time, and now she is pregnate again... as am I.
you'll never forget, but it does get easier after a while. I was even able to go to my sister's baby shower andhave a good time, as well as my co worker's. my situation was a bit different, because at the time my husband and I were kind of seperated, the miscarriage brought us back together, so I was able to see a bright spot in my pain.

I went through 1 miscarriage and 3 ectopic preganies before having to go to IVF to get pregant with my second child. No matter where you are in your pregancy, it is an emotional loss and can be very devistating. The only thing I can suggest is try and stay positive. Since methods of detection have gotten so advanced now, women who would have never known they were pregant are having to deal with the loss. Most women miscarry at some point in their lifetime, it is just now we are more aware of it because of technology, so I would not worry too much about your ability to concieve and maintain a pregancy. I am sure it will work out.

Hi J.--condolences on your loss. In answer to your first question, yes--every woman has or knows someone who has had a miscarriage. Maybe 1 in 10 pregnancies end in miscarriage because of numerous reasons. Try to remember your pain is very personal, and you are entitled to all of your feelings. Other women who are pregnant are really not your issue--you want your baby.

Breavement support programs are available for prenatal loss at any time frame, and you may want to investigate this resource.

I usually recommend waiting until the first period after a miscarriage to try to conceive. Many of my clients do not use protection and do conceive before then. The chances of 2 miscarriages in a row is low, but can happen. 3 in a row might require genetic counseling. This has never happened in my practice.

good luck, Kathy, CNM North Houston Birth Center ###-###-####

J.,

So sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage between baby number 2 and 3 and number 3 (most likely says the OB) was a twin. I understand your disappointment. From the experience I learned;

1. This happens to almost everyone who wants multiple children at least once. As word gets out (if you already made an announcement) you will see that you probably have friends, family members and coworkers who can empathize because they have gone through the same thing.

2. You could not have prevented this. Because we have so much info about proper prenatal care, it is easy to try and blame ourselves and wonder if this could have been prevented had we not stood in front of the microwave or painted a room. Miscarriages happen, for the most part, because our bodies realize that the embryo / fetus doesn't have a chance. Now your body can "clean itself out" and prepare for the next opportunity. I also worried that I would continue to miscarry or have unhealthy pregnancies, but that isn't normally the case. Usually it is a one time deal.

3. Until you can celebrate another pregnancy, throw yourself into your other child and husband. This was my best therapy. When I would feel down because I didn't have another baby coming right away, I would enjoy the other 2 that I did have, remember how fortunate I was to have them with me and it eased my pain.

4. Time will help tremendously, especially after you are pregnant again. It will get easier to cope. Don't be surprised if when you do get pregnant again, your enthusiasm is a little guarded. (I am not saying it should be, but this was my experience and that of others I know.) I think I finally recongnized that I was really getting another baby about a month before he was born. Hopefully you can enjoy your next pregnancy longer than I did.

Best wishes,
S.

God is no respector of persons. What He did for me, He can do for you. I highly recommend reading and practicing the teachings in "Supernatural Childbirth by Jackie Mize". I did for the last 3 of my 5 pregnancies. The beginning especially will help anyone who has miscarried, or who has been told they can never carry a pregnancy full-term, etc.

My first pregnancy went how I had expected it to go from the movies and other women's horror stories. I had every bad symptom, and a long, difficult labor and delivery.
My second pregnancy was a miscarriage - something I feared had come to pass. Then I was afraid I would lose the next baby.
But thank God a friend told me about this book!
It changed my life !!
While you are waiting for God's perfect timing and your next pregnancy, BE SINCERELY HAPPY for others around you who are expecting! They are NOT having YOUR children!

God's BEST to you!

The first pregnancy I had ended in miscarrage. They said that it happened when I was 9 weeks along. I was also told that I would be able to handle it on my own (I found out the baby had died before the actual passing of it). Needless to say I almost bled to death because I began to hemorage. I now have 2 wonderful children. I won't lie when I was pregnant I "held my breath" until I got past the 9 week mark. Sometimes your body knows something isn't right with it so it passes it. Don't worry, it will happen when the time is right, and if it never does~ then there is a reason why.

How strange that my first day on and the first question I look at is yours. I am very sorry for your loss. I really know your pain. I have had a full-term still-birth, ectopic pregnancy, and 4 misscarriages. Honestly, it doesn't matter where you are in the pregnancy, the pain is very real. I too, had a time where it was unbearable to be around pregnant women or even babies. Those women that are pregnant that are around you may feel a little uncomfortable themselves because of your experience. One of my friends that was expecting around the same time I was with the fullterm pregnancy and she became very paranoid from fear that she would experience the same thing.
Best advice I can give is.. take the time to mourn your loss and remind yourself that there is a reason for everything.
I now have a ten year old daughter that was placed with me for fostercare when she was 6-months old. I truly believe that if I had had my own children, my heart would not have been open for this experience. I believe God softened my heart in this way to prepare me for the joy that Jasmine would bring me one day. God may be softening your heart so that when you do have your next child you will be able to enjoy your gift to the fullest. My email is ____@____.com if you ever want to drop me a line or need a little support. T.

Hi J. - Let me first say how sorry I am about your loss. I know that it is a huge disappointment. I had a miscarriage myself a few months ago. We were so excited about having another baby. We have a 12 year old, a 3 year old and a 14 month old - all girls. I will be turning 34 in two weeks and I desperately want one more child - hopefully a boy - before I turn 36. We were excited about this pregnancy and told people immediately since my other pregnancies went so well. I did not find out about my miscarriage until my regular check-up right at 3 months. I was devistated. But - I don't know what your religious background is so I hope I don't offend you - all I asked God was for a healthy baby and that baby was not going to be healthy so it just wasn't meant to be. I took a lot of comfort in that. I would much rather have a miscarriage early on then have major problems later. Think about how that would affect not only you and your emotional stability but also the impact that would have on your little boy. It is hard enough to give enough attention to an older sibling when a newborn is around but when that new baby has major problems it is even worse. We may not understand it and we certainly don't like it but these things happen for a reason. You also might not know this - I didn't - but 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. With those odds it is hard to escape it. Everyone I have talked to since mine has either had one - and gone on to have WONDERFUL BEAUTIFUL HEALTHY babies afterwards - or knew someone very close to them that had one. Please don't lose hope and please don't let this experince take the joy out of the next time you get pregnant. And don't let it destroy your happiness for those around you that are pregnant - you will have another shot at it. Just get yourself healthy and happy and you will be puking and eating saltines again before you know it.

Take care of yourself and good luck with your future pregnancy!
A.

unfortunately i had 4 before my son who is now almost 4 and i've had 2 after him. i can tell you from experience that the pain will go away. a miscarriage is a way that the body takes care of itself, sometimes there's a defect with the new pregnancy and it aborts. i can also tell you that if you start taking a daily vitamin like centrum for about a month or two before you try again, it will help your body from rejecting the next pregnancy. our bodies have a natural rejection mode, like i said earlier, there could be something wrong. i would like the opportunity to talk with you further if you'd like. my cell number is ###-###-####.

my prayers are with you,

M.

J.,
I am very sorry for your loss. No words can ease the pain of losing a child, no matter how far along you are, no matter how old they are, the pain is the deepest and is shared by many women around the world. I had 2 miscarriages in 1992. I was just at 7 weeks for each one. The first miscarriage was a surprise to me so the loss was easier. The second miscarriage was unexpected because I had known that I was pregnant. The whole ordeal seemed surreal to me, as if it were a dream. I won't bother you with details, but just know, the ache in your heart and soul will ease with time. But until then, take time to mourn for your child and the things that you had dreamed of for him/her. Cry, scream, break sticks or throw rocks until you can't do it anymore. Do whatever it takes to get through this grieving process.
Talk about it with your husband. This way you two can grieve together and know that he probably feels as devastated as you are.
I had thought that at the time, God was punishing me for living in a way that was displeasing to him. I felt that he had inflicted this pain into my life so I would learn a lesson. That is NOT so. Over time, you'll see that all things have a reason. *I hated hearing that when I lost mine, but it is true*. Now, I look into the face of my 8 year old son, I realize that the love I felt for those other 2 babies is reborn in my love for my son to overflowing.
About your co-workers, they'll be feeling as uneasy as you about this tragedy. When I was pregnant with my 8 yr old, I actually felt guilty about being pregnant when a friend of mine lost her baby. Maybe as time goes by and you start reclaiming your life, they will not be as awkward around you and you with them. Time heals all wounds.
So, just know, we're with you, your not alone, and please, don't shut out family and friends at the time when you need them the most.
(((((HUGS)))))

I am so sorry J.. A miscarriage is not an easy thing to experience. I had one many years ago. I remember thinking I would never get over it. Every time I saw a pregnant woman I thought it was so unfair that they could have a healthy pregnancy and I had nothing. When I found out my best friend was pregnant I thought I would lose it. She tried to keep it from me for so long because of my loss. I decided not to make her lose her joy because of me. It was a sacrifice I didn't want to make but because I cared about her I did. As she got closer and closer to her due date I resented her more and more. But when that baby was born I took one look at her and my heart melted. I cried like I have not cried before. I thought I had no tears left and now I know my grandmother was right that tears are God's antibiotics for the soul. At that point, I decided to name my baby and though it was too soon to tell I felt like it was a girl and we had a family memorial service for her and I was able to put it to rest. I wished I had done it sooner. We took her baby blanket I bought the day I found out I was pregnant and took it to my grandparent's land in East Texas and had a family burial with a small wooden marker. It was on the prettiest spot overlooking the small natural spring where I played as a child. We buried a box with her blanket and copies of the hospital papers from the miscarriage. Then I planted flowers and even my grandmother said that she caught herself going out there and sitting on the bench they had built for that spot. It was such a comfort to have a place to visit like you do when there is a death. I still go there every year on the anniversary of my due date. I speak to Angela Crystal Grace but I barely cry anymore. I have taken my two children there and they know their older sister is in God's hands. Even my 4 year old grand daughter talks to her when we go there. Maybe you can come up with a variation on that which will give you peace. My friend's daughter is a beautiful woman now but her younger brother went to be in Heaven before he was born as well. I bought my friend a necklace with the birthstone of his due date and she added one for her daughter. She says that this necklace brings her comfort and I always see her wearing it near the dates of the miscarriage and the time he was due. In quiet moments I see her touch it, close her eyes and smile and I know she is holding him in her heart.

May you be richly blessed with your next pregnancy and may God always give you enough.
C.

Hi J.. My name is J. and I am 28 and have been married for almost 11 years. I have a 9 year old girl and a 5 year old boy. I am really sorry to hear about your loss. I know what you are going through. I have had 3 miscarriages. It is very normal for you to be feeling the way that you do. It will get better with time but their still is times where I am still trying to cope with the loss. The thing that helped me through the rough time was talking about it and having the support of my family. You can still have a healthy pregnancy. I Wish You the best of luck and stay stong it will get better.

J.,

I am sorry for your loss. I have three children. After having my second child, I experienced a ectopic pregnancy and then 1 year later experienced a miscarriage when I was 9 weeks. I think most women feel what you are feeling, you are afraid of another loss. So many women have miscarriages and I urge you to not let this discourage you or fear you from having another child. My doctor also said that sometimes our body reject's fetus because they may have a deformity or genetic issues. God knows what he is doing and be patient. God willing you will be blessed with a health child at the right time. I know a lot of women who have experienced the same and have gone on to have healthy children. When your doc gives you the ok, then start trying and be patient it may take a little time to get pregnant again. Good luck!!

I have not had a miscarriage myself, but I have seen my mom go through with one, and waht she did to get through it was put more attention on th blessings she already had....3 children. You will not help things by stressing out, but if you look at that little boy and see what a bright light he is, then God is sure to bless you again...and soon. Never forget, you will see that baby someday...he or she will come up and call you momma, and you will recognise them just as if you had been together for your whole lives...and you can walk beside the river jordan and discuss all the happy things they saw while they were waiting on you to join them. Just remeber...the harder you work for something, the better it is when you get it. God Bless

J.,
I too recently had a misscarrage, on July 4th. (what a way to spend Independance day huh?)
It took me a while to get over it. The hardest for me was the dreams I was having. They were all so vivid and real, and all about the baby that I had lost.

what ultimatly helped me get through it was just crying and journaling. letting everything out. A friend emailed me the song "Glory Baby" by a group called Watermark. That I listened to over and over again. It helped. I got it off itunes if you wanted to listen to it. you can also go to their site http://www.watermark-online.com/watermark.php to read the lyrics.

Hang in there and just feel what you are feeling. don't bottle it up inside. I did that for a while, because i thought that i shouldn't be that upset about it. after all my husband never shed a tear during the whole ordeal. but it was holding it all inside that kept me from getting over and living again.

{{{HUGS!!!}}}

My husband and I had tried to conceive for over 8 years. I have PCOS, polycystic ovarian disease. Once we conceived, I was kind of nervous, not knowing what to expect, will I miscarry, etc.? 8 1/2 mos. later, was a healthy baby boy. Well, we never expected a second one, and on my son's 3rd birthday, in August, I had been bleeding for about 5 days prior, dark and dirty looking blood. I called my OB and they said to take a home preg. test. I did, and guess what, I was pregnant!!! Wow, how exciting. Well, by Monday, on my appointment, I was no longer pregnant. I felt devastated and heart broken, but on the other hand, I was only a couple of weeks pregnant. This is what I told myself, to get past the hurt, but it didn't help much. I did a lot of praying about it, and just had to believe that the Lord had a plan for me and my family. We waited the time we had to, and started to try again, and by November, we were pregnant again. I then started worrying again about whether I would have another miscarriage. I think I worried most of my pregnancy, but with family and friends supporting me and lots of prayer, and believing that the Lord knows best, we made another 8 1/2 mos., with another healthy baby boy. I don't know if that will help or not, but you just have to trust in God, and His plan for you. If the desire is in your heart, I believe that God wants to give us the desires of our hearts, and I know that He gave me mine. I still miss the one that I might have had, but then I wouldn't have the two that I have now. I know that I will meet him or her again someday..... I will pray for you and your husband and son. God bless you and good luck.

Im so sorry about your miscarriage, and I have to say, I dont think you should feel wrong in any way for your sadness. It is okay to cry over something so real. I once read "Don't let others dictate how you should act or feel. The grieving process works differently with everyone. Others may think—and let you know that they think—you are grieving too much or not grieving enough. Forgive them and forget about it. By trying to force yourself into a mold created by others or by society as a whole, you stunt your growth toward restored emotional health."
Also, remember that Jesus too cried, even though he could resurrect the dead, you can read that in John 11:33. And while you are in pain, do not forget prayer, the Bible also says that "Jehovah is near to those broken at heart and those who are crushed in spirit, he saves." So, a God to cares so much for your pain would surely not want you to think that he caused it, or that he took your child.
One more very comforting scripture is in 1 Corinthians 15:26 where it calls death an "enemy" and says that in his time God will abolish this enemy forever.
If you would like to read more scriptures, this link is full of ones to comfort you.
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2005/5/1/article_02.htm

I hope it helps. Take care!