S.T.
i am very concerned about you.
90% of this post describes textbook PPD and very, very worrisome episodes and symptoms, and yet you're complaining about the doctor who verified it. what do you mean, 'is that even ok she can say that?'
you're imperiling your self, and worse your child, and your nose is out of joint because the doctor said what even you are thinking?
stop driving right now. don't go to your mother's. it's not alleviating the stress, and it's insane to get in the car with a newborn and drive for 3 hours when you're zoning out and losing chunks of time.
i'm very afraid that someone is going to end up hurt or worse here. i'm very sorry that you moved somewhere with no friends and had a baby with someone you rarely see, but that's your reality and you've GOT to get help with coping. get the meds, get counseling, find a support group (to which someone else can drive you!), get a sitter a couple of times a week so you can go for long walks, start keeping a diary, take up photography, get your bf involved in your self-care.
be pro-active about this. it's not going to take care of itself, and worse, it's not going to take care of your baby. get help. go back to your doctor today, and follow her recommendations.
do it now, hon.
khairete
S.