Has Anyone Had Experience with Post Partum Depression and Breastfeeding?

Updated on August 16, 2015
A.C. asks from New Canton, IL
17 answers

I quit my job in Febrauary, moved to a small town away from all my friends and family in February as well, and gave birth in April (my first). I had to have an emergency csection, got an infection, was in extreme pain for a month (on painkillers like oxycotin). I'm breastfeeding too. I don't really have anyone to talk to or hang out with. I'm used to working all of the time, being social, and now I'm in a town of 420 people. I live with my boyfriend who is always working. So it's natural to be feeling lonely and overwhelmed right? I feel like I don't get any help at all. I travel the 3 hours at least once month with my son to stay at my mom's. Staying there drives me insane though. I'm still treated like a child (I'm 27).
I've been having nightmares, can't sleep, and missing chunks of time of the day or talk about something, pause and completely forget that I was even talking. I zone out while driving too. I went to the doctor, which is a new doctor and she within 5 minutes, said I have post partum depression. Is that even ok she can say that? She doesn't even know about me moving. I do cry alot and I've never felt anxious
I'm the type of person who doesn't do medicine, if I'm sick I chug nyquil and go to work. When I had a bad breakup or stressful day, I went to work and sucked it up. I don't have a distraction now. I have a newborn son and I feel trapped in the house. Any advice on what to do? Should I try medication? I thought more visits to my mom's would help, because there's places to go, but while I'm there I just feel judged. I get stressed out over simple things and snap. And my mom is an anxious and stressed person, but I feel like there's no empathy on her part.

What can I do next?

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i am very concerned about you.
90% of this post describes textbook PPD and very, very worrisome episodes and symptoms, and yet you're complaining about the doctor who verified it. what do you mean, 'is that even ok she can say that?'
you're imperiling your self, and worse your child, and your nose is out of joint because the doctor said what even you are thinking?
stop driving right now. don't go to your mother's. it's not alleviating the stress, and it's insane to get in the car with a newborn and drive for 3 hours when you're zoning out and losing chunks of time.
i'm very afraid that someone is going to end up hurt or worse here. i'm very sorry that you moved somewhere with no friends and had a baby with someone you rarely see, but that's your reality and you've GOT to get help with coping. get the meds, get counseling, find a support group (to which someone else can drive you!), get a sitter a couple of times a week so you can go for long walks, start keeping a diary, take up photography, get your bf involved in your self-care.
be pro-active about this. it's not going to take care of itself, and worse, it's not going to take care of your baby. get help. go back to your doctor today, and follow her recommendations.
do it now, hon.
khairete
S.

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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

There are no prizes given out for sucking it up and your baby deserves a healthy mom. Listen to your doctor and take the help she offered.

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D..

answers from Miami on

Wait a minute. You're missing parts of the day. Having nightmares. You're a wreck. And you have the audacity to ask if it's okay for the doctor to SAY you have post-partum depression? Are you kidding?

For God's sake, wake up!!! Brooke Shields even came public with her battle with post-partum depression. Do you think you're better than her? Better than the thousands upon thousands of women who have it after their babies are born? And they haven't moved! They don't have boyfriends without a clue and non-caring mothers. They just have post-partum depression.

Let the doctor help you. Get over this ridiculous notion that you're supposed to suck it up. Hormonal imbalances aren't going to get better by sucking it up. Your baby needs a well mommy. Having places to go and things to do wouldn't help, even if your mom weren't being a pill.

Get back to the doctor and LET HER HELP YOU.

When you're feeling better, THEN make some decisions about whether or not you're going to continue living in this little place with a boyfriend who's never home.

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K.F.

answers from Salinas on

You sound like you're spending way too much time in your own head. Your post doesn't really hang together like it should.

You had a VERY rough delivery and are living under difficult circumstances for being a brand new Mom. Those circumstances would be hard enough for a person without postpartum. You believe you have PPD, you describe it's symptoms AND you've been diagnosed with it yet you seem to be talking yourself out of getting the help you need.

There are so many instances situations like this going horribly wrong, don't let that happen. This is what parenting is all about, doing what's right for your child and putting everything else aside. He's at risk as long as you are not well.

Go back to the doctor and take this very, very seriously.

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K.H.

answers from New York on

A hormonal imbalance is a hormonal imbalance...you can't really will it to not be.....I mean you can suck it up all you want too but it won't change the fact that your body has and IS going through major changes woman!

You are not alone and you are not crazy. Sometimes this happens. Add in lots of life stressers & you've got yourself a recipe for daily crying & insane mood shifts & loss of energy & loss of patience & MAJOR irritability & & &!

We all get "mom brain" where we start talking & forget what we're saying, but when I had PPD I don't remember loosing track of time...that's a whole other scary something to watch, most likely from the lack of sleep & the nightmares...

~I have been where you are at & I will say that when I became aware of myself actually talking to myself about "getting it together" or "snap out of it" stuff like that, I asked my doc for help. They gave me Zoloft. At first I freaking hated it, made my head feel weird but I did as I was told and gave it the time to work & it helped.

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S.C.

answers from Kansas City on

You poor thing. I'm sorry you're having a rough time. Yes, it is perfectly ok for a medically trained professional to diagnose you with postpartum depression. :) Trust her. Trust that she can help you. It sounds to me (in my un-professional opinion) that you are the type of person that rather than dealing with things, distracts yourself from things, and exactly as you say - now there's no distractions. Time to put on the big girl panties and realize you CAN'T fix everything by distracting yourself. Sometimes there are real issues that require professional help. Your doctor is exactly right. You should trust him/her. Immediately. Get help. The symptoms you're describing make you a danger to yourself, your baby, and anyone around you. I'm serious. GET HELP.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I am putting this at the top of my post and maybe you will see it: http://www.answers.com/article/1323044/these-women-are-wa...

You are not alone.

____________

You should take PPD seriously. My cousin (who was able to continue nursing her DD, by the way) had PPD and needed some medication short-term. Please consider it. Your baby needs a mom who takes care of herself.

You've been through a lot lately with the move and everything. I will say that post-partum hormones left me a mess for a while. I had panic attacks in DD's first weeks that I had never had before. I remember frantically looking for my pregnancy journal in the middle of the night and my DH must have realized that I just needed to find it so rather than get upset, he scoured the house with me and found it just where I'd left it. It happens.

It IS natural to be overwhelmed, but if you are crying all the time, please follow up with your doctor. You say you are in a small town, but how far are you from somewhere that might have a mommy and me group or a library with story time? Even if he's too little to really understand yet, go. Get out of the house. Meet other moms. Get fresh air. Hand the baby to his father and take a long shower. Linger in the grocery store. Phone a friend.

Hang in there.

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A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

I was in your shoes completely AND I had postpartum depression. I quit my job in NYC to live in a tiny town and be home with baby and my ex travelled all the time.

Safety first, momma. Don't worry about stigma or how you used to handle stress or whatever. In my case, the depression (happened after all three babies) went away on it's own over time. I didn't use medication. But the first time it happened, what a mysterious beast it was!!! I didn't realize I was having it, I just had a very dark time of things until it was over. I had NO ABILITY to handle when other people acted poorly. Even if they barely did anything wrong I was massively sad and angry, would drive off in the car and bawl my eyes out, held grudges....See how you're angry your doctor suggested PPD? Huh? That's her job and you do seem to have it, but your mind is your enemy right now.

Anyway. It will pass, but if it's severe and dangerous, don't just wait it out! Medication may or may not help you through it, talk to your doctor. Base your decision solely on being safe and effective at taking care of a baby, NOT on if meds are negative thing or not...And also: Round up your support because you CANNOT be driving and putting yourself and others at risk. My second two bouts with post partum depression were easier (but still horrid) because I KNEW why I wasn't myself, so I was able to ask for help or just stay home and embrace that I didn't feel good rather than trying so hard to fight it...

So. Get as much help as you can. And stay away from your mom for now! Urgh, parents! Thank god mine were out of state. My time alone with no distractions and a newborn in a tiny town was sort of surreal and wonderful. Life has been much more complicated since. Try to bloom where you are planted and don't be hard on yourself. Dont' worry about trying to stay busy and entertained at all times right now. Get help. Be safe. This is temporary.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

My high school graduating class had over 450 people in it so your town is very small.

It sure is possible you have PPD.
When our son was 1 1/2 I was trying to be super Mom and I ended up on Zoloft for 6 months.
It helped the hair on the back of my neck to quit standing on end all the time.
It helped me sleep better and not stress out so much.
Yes I think you should try medication.

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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

I had post partum with both of my kids. It was worst with my first. The Mayo Clinic, where my primary care physician is, has a questionnaire for all new moms to fill out. Based on your answers they can diagnose PPD. Even 8 years later they still have me fill out the questionnaire every time I go in. PPD is actually pretty easy to diagnose.

I chose not to take meds, but I did get counseling. I'm not sure how much help it was. I don't think I was a good match with the counselor, the time frame didn't work the best for me, I think she down played a lot of the situational stuff I was dealing with. But, it did make me more conscious of what I was dealing with and gave me some coping mechanisms that helped.

From what you describe, I think your PPD sounds worse than mine was. Go back to your doctor. Be open to taking meds. My husband is a pharmacist and he spent a good deal of time looking into what would be safe for me to take while breast feeding. There are some safe meds to take that will help.

One thing that helped me was reading Brooke Shields book Down Came the Rain about her struggle with PPD. It helped me feel not alone.

Feel free to private message me. You can make it through this. Your baby needs you to be there 100% right now. Please see your doctor again and do what you need to do to take care of yourself.

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C.P.

answers from San Francisco on

Sounds like postpardum depression to me too. Listen to your Dr. I hope your town isn't so small that DR's only offer meds. Where I live support groups with other new moms with postpardum depression is an intrical part of treatment. I have a lot of coworkers and friends who have large groups of close friends they originally met in their postpardum depression classes. I actually am quite envious that they have this tight bond with many other women friends whom are all friends as I do not. If I could qualify for that resource I'd take it in an instant. Good luck!

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T.D.

answers from Springfield on

find a la leche league that meets near you. its a group of bfing mommas that bond together and help one another. they will help with any breastfeeding issues aw well as someone to talk to. they are in similar situations (bfing mommas that feel like they are on their own) and many mommas get post partum depression. its pretty normal!

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

Having a baby without support is very hard. It was the same for me with my first. We lived near my husband's family, all my friends were still working, and on top of that, he wasn't the easiest baby and it was winter. So I felt very trapped, and overwhelmed a lot of the time.

I used to get out each day - walks, and I used to go and do a small errand - my baby had colic type crying spells and it was hard. But I did a little each day. I joined a mommy-baby-yoga class - wasn't for me, but I'm sure there could be a drop in centre for you (some libraries, etc.).

Mine got better on it's own. The lack of sleep really got to me. If you have anyone who could take the baby so you could have a break (even if you don't care for your inlaws, etc.) would be helpful. Do something for yourself.

But if you have to go on medication for a while, think of it this way - it's so you can enjoy this more. You won't regret it I'm sure.

Remember - you have to take care of yourself so that you can care for your baby :)

Good luck (and don't feel embarrassed - many, many women go through this). It's hard to say you're finding it hard (because supposed to be such a happy time) but it's ok. It's not always but it does tend to get easier. Talk to your doctor :)

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B.S.

answers from Denver on

I left my job and moved with my husband to a small town when my kids were 10 mo. and 2 1/2. While I was happy to be a stay at home mom, I remember feeling a bit lonely and isolated in the beginning. Look for a group of moms in the area that you can socialize with, there has to be some type of mom's group? I started out going to the library and meeting moms which led me to a "mom's group" at a local church which led me to get involved in all other types of activities and meeting new people. There are lots of women just like you who are probably dying to make new friends. If you're shy about meeting people, don't be...step out of comfort zone.
I think if you plan at least one outing a day, even a small outing, you'll feel better that you got out of the house.
Also try exercising, that really helps to boost your mood. I used to put my kids in a jogging stroller and go for walks, people sell them on Craigs List all the time. You could even do a workout dvd when your baby is napping.
Not sure if you should try medication or not, if it can help you to get over the hump than why not? I would use it in conjunction with the other things I mentioned.
Most of all try to enjoy the time you have at home with your baby. I'm back to work but often reminisce to those days and how lucky I was to be at home with my babies.

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C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

With everything you are going through almost anyone would get depressed. It's so hard to have a baby with no support. It's hard to move and have to start over making friends. It's hard to be so isolated. And it's really hard to go from working full time to being a SAHM. I have gone through everything you are going through and it's tough...really tough. I had the c-section, the infection, the move away, and went from working to not working. What helped me was to get out in the mornings with the baby. The town we moved to had a mommy and me music time at the library that was aimed towards babies and toddlers. I started going every week. There was a group there called the Family Strengths Network that had mom/baby meet up time. You'd just go that morning once a week with your baby and sit with the other moms and chat. There was free coffee, and toys for those who had toddlers. At first I knew no one and everyone seemed to already know everyone else. But over time I got to know other women and made friends with some other moms who also had recently moved there. I also joined the national MOMs group. They would take turns meeting at each other's houses once a week. All these things helped me to slowly get to know other people...to find a few women who I clicked with...to be able to vent and to listen...to get to know what resources were available to me in the town, etc. I realize 420 people is very very small though. If there is any way you can get out to some event or town happening regularly this will help you. You could also try to find a part time job you can do online for now...or take an online class to give you a skill for a future part time job. Keeping up a webpage. Grant writing. Whatever you have an interest in. I took antidepressants for a while and it did help. I think it is worth a try for you..it's not like you have to take them forever. You can just take them to help boost yourself out of your slump and then after a year or whatever wean yourself off them. That is what I did. The other thing that really helped me was to exercise. It really really helped my mood more than anything I think. I met another mom who wished she had time to exercise and we started taking turns watching each other's babies while we exercises (we were trail running). Exercise and friendship and keeping busy. If you can create a busy schedule for yourself each morning, take an online class, meet other women to hang out with, and exercise 3 or more times a week I think it will help you greatly. It's important for you to be less isolated and have a goal. And yes please also get on antidepressant as well. This might be just what you need to help your body chemistry get right again.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

You need a hobby. My hobby has enriched my life in measurably. I have met great friends through it and volunteer on a committee as a result of it. It took a while before I found it...I tried roller blading, ice skating, swimming, joined a gym, took an art class, tried photography etc. until I found something I am truly passionate about. Best of luck to you!

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M.P.

answers from Grand Forks on

Dang girl you've been through plenty! If you don't have depression I'd be surprised. :(
Yes listen to your doctor, let her be your starting point if nothing else yknow.
Give yourself time to continue with all these changes you're going thru. Be open about this with boyfriend bc somebody needs to keep an eye out for you if nothing else. I Google articles when I'm bothered about stuff to see what's been effective for others, get ideas how to cope, etc.
Put the necessary focus on 1) continuing to take such good care of baby and 2) doing what's needed for self improvement. You and your sweet baby are worthy of a healthy happy mommy. Consider meds even if short term. (More people take them than you think.) Then as the cloud is lifted, and it will be bc no season lasts forever, then reach out to other moms....through churches, meetup.com, or Google an article to see how other moms do it. People ask that on here frequently!
You are not alone!!! Believe me! You have been through a ton so give it the credit and the time it deserves!
I would not encourage any more visits with mom right now until you feel more comfortable inside, and more confident and more settled. Just my opinion bc family or not this is not a time where need to feel judged.
Hang in there, you'll get through this, just don't give up honey. You're worth it. :)

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