Has Anyone Heard of a Daycare Taking a Picture of a Childs Poop?

Is it possible that the poor little thing has been humiliated to the point that she tries so hard NOT to go, that she just can't control it anymore and does unintentionally? That's the saddest thing I've read in a long while :(

Find a new daycare right away! Toilet training is a complicated process that is different for every child and a VERY REAL PART OF CHILDCARE! Every trained early childhood caretaker should expect to deal with accidents and children who are not potty trained, jeesh!

This is one of the very few times my immediate response is to find a different child care situation. I think taking a picture of it on the floor is weird and I can't think of any good reason for doing it; especially when they didn't show it to you. I could see taking a picture to show you IF they had some concern for that actual piece of poop that they thought you should know about. For example if it contained visible blood.

I also see no good reason to charge you $10 as long as you've provided them with enough clean garments so that they can easily clean her up and put on a clean one. I would understand asking you to provide "Wet Ones." (any brand)

I doubt that any of that is illegal but it's certainly smacks of a lack of empathy for your daughter and you. Which brings me to another possibility. If you haven't sought medical attention they could be trying to pressure you into doing that and I would better understand their actions if that were the case.

I urge you to take her to a pediatrician if you haven't done so recently. Four and a half is on the old side to still have this difficulty. She may need medical attention or a different way than you're using now for handling the situation.

If this were my daycare provider I would want them to be open and honest about their reasons for doing everything. If you haven't directly asked them what is going on I'd do that first. Then if you're still uncomfortable about the situation I would tell them that and move on to another provider.

Find a new daycare. If there is a governing agency such as licensing, I would report them as well. Do they have any kind of information like a Parent Handbook describing their policies and procedures?

As a daycare provider I am saddened and appalled when I hear of this kind of treatment. It is their job to deal with all kinds of situations regarding behavior and ability including toileting issues. And they should have the ability to do it in a respectful way for you and your child. I would not be understanding about their frustration with this. I would be furious.

Weird.
They are doing it to back themselves up.... and justifying charging you $10 each time she poops. They are "documenting" it.
They could also kick her out.

YOU should document them as well.
Make sure, you have a contract from them on their rules and regulations and stipulations etc., when you enrolled your daughter.
... you could also 'complain' to them too... in turn. Putting it in writing.

Next, does your daughter perhaps have "Encopresis"? This is an involuntary leakage of poop. It cannot be controlled... but it can be exacerbated by constipation or distended bowels/blockage etc.

I would, really check with her Doctor. As well.

She has not yet mastered toileting... nor pooping in a toilet.
Encopresis... is involuntary. Or she could be constipated.
Does she actually poop in her pants... or is it like skid marks etc.? Does she ever poop in a toilet, but sometimes not?
I would see, if there is a medical reason for it... or, she is just not yet able to nor can, poop in a toilet.
If she has Encopresis or constipation... she should be treated by a Doctor.

all the best,
Susan

Hi C., I'm a daycare provider as well, I never took a picture of a child's poop. it was probably done for proof that it actually feel from her pants. A friend of mine who's son had this same problem in his preschool they got tired of it, and they started sending his pooping pants home with him. I understand she was premature but at 4 1/2 she is no longer premature. It is not illegal to take a picture of a child's poop. The charging you, is to get you to take action with your daughter, most daycare's won't even take a child that age who have this problem, so you maybe getting off easy. I know parents today hate the word discipline especially when it comes to potty training, but something has to give. J. V has no idea what she is talking about, not making a big deal sends a child the message that it is OK to poop on yourself. and she sounds like they should not be in the daycare business, what experience does she have running a daycare. Children have gotten sick and even died from ingesting feesies from another child, children pooping on themselves and it falling on the floor is a health hazzard for the other children who play and crawl on the floor. You can try and change her daycare's but it probably won't be easy to find one that will take her knowing she has this problem. I Potty trained my 3 and I have been potty training children in my daycare for 13 years, and it has not been hard emotionally for any of them. Work with her, and keep her where she is. it is not abnormaL to charge you when she poops on herself. Most providers charge more for children who are 2 and older and who are not potty trained. As a daycare provider myself i'm sorry sweetie but i have to disagree with all the other comments, J.

C.-
You have already gotten some good advice and a lot of support in the responses, but there are a few things that I haven't seen yet. I used to work with child care centers and daycares regarding disability issues, and although your daughter has not been yet diagnosed with a medical condition per se, they are walking a fine line in their approach to this issue. Regardless of whether this turns out to be a medical condition, developmental issue, emotional issue, or nothing distinguishable, every operating child care business falls under the Americans with Disabilities Act and cannot discriminate in its practices based on perceived differences. This means they can not charge you "clean up" expenses. Although others have mentioned they could kick you out, technically this is not legal either. Although as a fellow parent, I could not image sending my child back to a center to care for him if they openly expressed that they did not want him there or could not care for my child.
As far as the picture taking of the BM, they may try to claim it was a form of documenting the circumstances, but there are other viable options to do so without humiliating a child and their family. Again, a fine line here because even if you did sign a photo release, there are usually specified circumstances spelled out in the release for how pictures can be used. For instance, for publicity (newspaper/newsletter articles, advertisements) or classroom purposes (pictures of your child at their cubby or chair at the table). If they take a picture of your child's BM, what would keep them from going further with their picture taking? Even with a signed photo release, they are not allowed to just take pictures of whatever they choose for any purpose.
What can you do? First and foremost, you have made the best decision for the emotional safety of your child by finding another child care arrangement. Secondly, do continue to pursue through medical channels an answer to your questions about why this is going on with your daughter. Lastly, you didn't mention specifically who at the daycare you have been dealing with. If you haven't yet talked with the director, I would make an appointment to do so even if you are taking your daughter to another facility. And if you wish to pursue this further for the sake of other children and families out there, file a complaint with the child care licensing board in your county (http://www.pclb.org). You could also contact the Early Learning Coalition in your county (http://elcpinellas.net) to talk with them about your experience. They may be able to work with that center in consultation or training for the staff about their procedures and handling so that this doesn't happen again.
Best of luck with your new child care arrangement. Just remember that you are the parent and you and your child have rights.

I so hope that you can find a good solution to this. This can't be easy for anyone involved.

Do you KNOW that they took a picture? You know your own kid, but I would never consider a child that age a reliable source of information...especially if she feels like she might get in trouble for something.

Was it something the school sanctioned...or an immature caregiver pulling something with their camera phone? I think legalilty would be hard to argue...but it certainly is neither professional or called for.

Also, is this a daycare or a preschool? There are many programs for children that age that require fully potty trained students--our daycare/preschool promotes three year olds with time potty trained as one consideration. There is an "old" three (potty-trained) and "young" three room...the second room is equipped for frequent clean-ups and a big part of their program is getting these kids ready for Pre-K.

A classroom of kids heading to kindergarten isn't equipped to deal with that sort of mess on a regular basis-- no designated changing and clean up station. Not to mention whatever clean-up protocols they have to go through when something like this happens. Teachers/caregivers are often alone with a group of kids at this age...spill containment and clean-up becomes urgent and interrupts the activity of all the kids.

I AM sympathetic (trust me, I know how lucky I got with the potty training) to what you are facing and hope you find a good resolution soon! But, as a parent, I would be having a fit if I knew my child was possibly being exposed to fecal matter on a regular basis.

I think taking the picture is odd. At 4 1/2 she shouldn't have these problems and I wonder since they seem to be making a big deal that they are esasperating the situation. An example. My girlfriends daughter at around 3 yrs old accidently pooped in the tub. Her dad was bathing her and made a big deal about it and wouldn't let it go for days, and she could no longer take a bath as she was terrified she might poop. This also led to her holding it in as well till she would have stomach aches. Since you said she is going to a different day care next week make the staff aware of her situation and also tell your daughter that she is in a new place and to remember the second she feels like she has to go tell the teacher. Sort of a clean slate situation. I hope all goes well with the specialist.

I am appalled. If they are taking pics of her poop and charging you for each time she soils her pants then I would not be surprised if they were humiliating and shaming her when she does it.

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Find a new provider. Even if it's not a legal issue, those people are so lacking in compassion that they are in the wrong business.
As far as taking photos, call your county licensing office and ask if it is legal.

Sometimes raising kids is frustrating, but I wish that sometimes people would realize that BEING a kid is sometimes frustrating.

I applaud you for wanting to advocate for your daughter!

Weather it is legal or not I don't know but I do find it ODD. Having worked in a daycare can also understand the frustration but I find it inappropriate that you be charged $10 when she does. I find it equally inappropriate that the provider is not talking to you about it. Was the picture of it so that they could provide evidence? Give me a break. It isn't like you are telling her to poop her pants. At 41/2 though I would most defiantly make her responsible for the clean up.

It is strange, and no day care charges per pants change, that is ridiculous. That said, if I was them I would require that she be put back into pull ups during day care hours until she has the issue under control. Cleaning messy pants is much more difficult/gross than changing a pull up. Let her know that when she is ready to potty in the big girl potty every time at school, than she can wear her pretty underwear there again, and keep using undies at home.

Would you mind telling us which daycare this is? I would like to make sure I never send my kids there! I understand that they think 4.5 year olds should be potty trained, but they should definitely take a different approach. I feel really bad for your daughter!

Wow, that is alarming. Obviously, they don't mind humiliating children. I agree with other mamas, find a new daycare!! Also, I agree with taking your daughter to the doctor. he might have a medical condition, that makes bowel movements out of her control. I find this very sad and I hope you can find a provider, that will be wonderful and compassionate to your daughter.

Please get her a new daycare. Potty training is so hard emotionally, I can only imagine how this could damage your daughter. Please keep this situation away from her. She doesn't need any more pressure, and charging and taking pictures! How embarrassing! You aren't suppose to make a big deal, and they are taking pictures! And they are in the day care business?!?!?!?!?!?!

I get why they are taking pictures, but your daughter needs support, not this.

The way I see it, they are a daycare, meaning they have your daughter for most of the day and they are getting paid to watch over her and teach her things you simply cannot teach her during the few hours of a day that you have her at your home, and yes, that includes potty training. I don't have a problem with providing wipes (like every other parent at my daughter's daycare/school who must bring a pack of wipes at the start of the new year), but I do have a problem with a daycare wanting to charge to clean up after a child. I have never heard of that and if they are too grossed out to be dealing with dirty underwear or diapers, then they should not be in the daycare business. Are they accredited? If not, that's another reason to take her out. There are plenty of daycares out there that are accredited and have a curriculum that will also teach your child rather than just providing babysitting and no learning activities, like some daycares out there. Don't let them try to bully you for something that is beyond your daughter's control and don't let them feel that it is somehow your fault and your daughter's. You have made the right choice in finding her a new school. Hopefully, they will be more understanding and patient and can work with her on becoming potty trained, especially now that they know of her problem and can focus on finding a solution for it.

ok I dont want to play the bad guy, but the reason they took the pic was probably in case it stained the carpet. Then they have proof because they shouldnt have to pay to replace the carpet. However I dont think that they should charge you for each time she has an accident. they are a daycare and should understand that that happens and its worse for some kids then others

If you have signed a realease form for them to photograph your daughter then there is nothing illegal of them taking the pictures. If you have not signed a release, then yes it is illegal...As far as the issue goes most day cares won't take a child over two unless they are fully potty trained. You should feel blessed to have a day care take her. I know people that had to get private sitters in their homes because their children are not potty trained. My neighbor used to run a day care and she said if the child the age of your daughter wasn't fully potty trained they didn't take them.

My daughter was a late bloomer in the potty training dept too. She went #1 in the potty fine, but #2 was problematic for a long time. Thankfully - some where between her 4th birthday in April and Preschool in August I was able to get her to do # 2 in the potty - here is what worked for us. We had just finished babysitting a co-worker's Betta fish. When the fish went home, she was devastated! I told her that she could pick the Betta fish of her choice at the store if she went #2 in the potty for a whole week. She really wanted the fish - but seemed really intimidated by the challenge. I had previously bribed her with M&Ms, stickers, princess things etc....didn't even phase her - or even tempt her. The fish - really caught her attention. I asked her what her problem was - why she seemed afraid - and that was it - she told me that she was "afraid of the plop". So...... I had the fish bribe - and we made a "nest" of paper on the surface of the water to soften the landing so to speak and so hopefully there wouldn't be a "plop". Worked like a charm! In a week - I was proud to run as fast I could to Walmart to let her pick the fish of her dreams! Interestingly enough - Dr. Phil just did a segment on this. A couple had been bribing their son with a truck.....Dr. Phil said the problem was that he had other trucks -so he didn't care about another one - they needed to find his "price" - something else that he coveted but didn't already have. I was really happy that it turned out that my "method" two years ago is Dr. Phil approved! Good luck, I hope that this helps. And no - to answer your question - I have never heard of a daycare taking a picture of it! When my daughter was 2 1/2 - a day care manager that I took her to - 2 days a week from 9-12 (for playtime with other kids) told me that I could "start spanking her" and would talk down to her and say she went in her pants like a baby etc... I told her that I didn't appreciate her attitude - and that isn't how we parent in our house, and then acted as if she didn't exist - preferring instead to pair my daughter up with the very sweet assistant director, and then finally not taking her there any more.

I don't know about the picture but take your daughter off ALL dairy foods. She cannot digest the milk protein called casein. Look up casein free diet. She probably has a huge ball of poop stuck up there and everything is going around it so she is not quite aware when or if she has to poop because she is so stretched out. Take her off even things with whey, like butter. All processed foods like goldfish crackers, cheese, milk, yogurt, cream cheese and all other dairy foods then give her Benefiber to clean her out. This may take a few weeks. See what happens. All the doctor is going to do is put her through unnecessary tests when you can do this at home. I have seen at least 100 kids with this identical problem and it ends up being a dairy and sometimes gluten intolerance. Good luck.

I am so sorry this is happening to you guys. I really hope that there isn't anything medically wrong with her. My son is 7 - and he still will poop a little in his pants - but that's because he's LAZY. We've battled this for years. We make him sit on the pot! Until he performs :P. Like I said, he's just lazy at times, too busy watching tv or playing. My friend told me her daycare was CUTTING off her son's underware and I think throwing them away when he would go in his pants - even if it was a small amount. Some kids need direction to go - like my son. I said if I were her, I would have them reimburse her for CUTTING off his underware. I know pee and poo is yucky and they are not their family but... come on!!!!! It's still kids you are dealing with. so do just that - DEAL. But I know some daycares are like I'm not cleaning that up and it's not my job... my poor son all through preschool would have a nasty snotty nose and he would wipe it on his shirt - so every day he had a nasty dry snotty shirt - after only 3 hours. They would not GIVE him a tissue - yes they were in the classroom. And they would not direct him to wipe or blow his nose. So lets spread germs instead of taking care of it. They're still young babies.

I hope the new daycare works out for you all. I would have switched too. Idiots want to charge you, like that's going to get it to stop.

These daycare centers really burn me up. I myself used one for my twin girls when they were from about 1-4 years of age and I remember them approaching me about the type of diapers I provided. I had found a cheaper brand pull-up but of course they didn't have the velcro on the sides like they wanted so I was asked to provide them. At the time the only ones that I could find were the name brands. Not only was I having to pay expenses for daycare, doctor visits because they were sick all the time but then they also wanted the name brand diapers???
Your daughter has a "health" issue and it is not fair for them to discriminate against her for that reason or for you for that matter. Would they charge a parent extra money because their child has ADHD or Juvenile Diabetes, kidney infection or bladder infection which caused them to pee or whatever? If they did then I would say they needed to disclose that up front to the parent if it was going to be an issue.
IMO I think they are just being LAZY. They don't want to have to deal with it because they have so many other kids to deal with at the same time it's an inconvenience for them. So I must ask why the hell are you in the daycare business then? It's not the parents fault that a daycare facility doesn't have enough employees to help out with all the kids that they take in. I could go on all day about this-if I ever have another child they WILL NOT be put into another daycare center and IF they are you better be darn sure that I will ensure that the teacher/child ratio is sufficient AND that the teachers aren't being "replaced" all the time. My children went through so many damn teachers it was crazy-which is usually a clue to a parent but at the time I didn't know any better. I say good job about finding another daycare center that is more considerate over your daughter and you when it comes to dealing with "issues". I think I would almost go back to the director and demand some of the money I had been paying since they were not actual caregivers and just babysitters. It's a given that when you care for a child you are going to have to feed them, change them, clean them up, etc. I'm glad you found another daycare and hopefully this will be better for your daughter and you. How embarrasing that must have been for your daughter to be singled out like that in front of EVERYONE that she sees on a daily basis. I would surely go to the director and chew her a new one-especially when it comes to my daughters. No one is going to disrespect them in that way and get away with it. I would almost threaten that I will write a review for every single website and report their butts as to what they did to your daughter-that is totally unacceptable. Doctors have to have a consent to send a picture of ANY body part they take of you so why should the daycare centers have the authority to do something so degrading to a person-I really think you need to report this. Do you have proof?

My child was not premature but still had this problem. My child does not like to go to the bathroom so he held it until he stretched his intestines. The solution is simple one tablespoon of mineral oil a day and have a time during the day that he could sit on the toilet for 30 minutes.

The daycare should of helped you in this matter instead of being childish!!!