Has Your Toddler Refused to Have His Teeth Brushed?

Updated on March 22, 2010
A.B. asks from Ridgewood, NJ
11 answers

My 2-year-old son has always been a pretty good teeth-brusher, willing to let me get in there and brush as much as I want. But last week, he had a tummy bug and was vomiting. He was extremely upset and afraid of the vomiting--terrified, actually. The problem: once in while, when I brush his teeth, I accidentally go a little too far back in order to get those back teeth, and he sometimes gags a tiny bit. This happened the day after he'd vomited, and now he associates the gag feeling with the actual vomiting he did, and is terrified to have his teeth brushed. He hasn't let me do it for days, and we've tried numerous ways, with fun stories, rewards, at different times of day, etc. He cries and pleads for me not to do it. I'm at my wits' end--I can only imagine the junk that's on his teeth by now, but I can't stand to have him so frightened. Has this type of situation happened to anyone, and what did you do about it?

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T.W.

answers from Milwaukee on

Does he like Elmo from Sesame Street? Here is the link to it...
http://www.sesamestreet.org/game_player/-/pgpv/gameplayer...

It has elmo brushing his teeth and telling kids that its good for you. Let him watch it and see if he wants to brush his teeth with elmo.. :)

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M.S.

answers from Bloomington on

we LOVE finding animals in our kids mouths-- tigers, monkeys, etc. it's so silly and they laugh, which keeps thier mouths open and gets them excited about brushing teeth. it's like this-- "ooh, look there's a tiger in there! i'm going to get him! oh and over here there's a monkey!!" etc.

play dentist, read dentist and tooth brush books, and let him brush your teeth. good luck!

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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

hi-
a couple of thoughts...
* did you say "sorry" when you went back to far and triggered his gag reflex? The gag reflex is typically in the back 1/3rd of the tongue (can trigger by brushing back teeth if brush hits back of tongue). when brushing be careful of that area
* can you let him brush his teeth first that way he can control how far back the tooth brush goes back.
* validate his feelings - tell him that you know it is a yucky feeling to gag and mommy doesn't like it either. if we brush the front teeth and back teeth with the mouth closed you will not gag. (start he’s okay with this move on). if we brush to tops and bottoms of the teeth you will not gag (when he’s okay with this move on). Mommy will be very careful when she brushes the inside of your teeth and will try very hard not to have you gag (maybe have him do it first and then you can go over them afterwards).
* Does he know about the tooth fairy yet? If so, you can tell him that the tooth fairy only likes nice teeth - she won't take yucky teeth.

hope that helps!

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L.L.

answers from New York on

Try getting those finger tip brushes. Let him brush for himslef with this for a few days. His teeth are not going to rot and fall out if a few days go by without proper brushing. Gently explain that it is possible to have the toothbrush in his mouth without gagging. Show him the way you brush. In the meantime, mix some scope (or other mouthwash) with water (equal parts) and let him rinse a few times a day. This should help keep a lot of stuff off of his teeth.
Also, there really is no need to try to get so far in his mouth when you brush for him. If you have him brush twice a day, he'll be OK. Try reaching the back teeth by putting the toothbrush in his mouth sideways not facing his throat, but across his mouth. This enables you to reach those back teeth without going near the throat.
Good luck.

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K.T.

answers from Minneapolis on

I agree with Anne...if all else fails, you'll have to hold him down. I've had to hold my son down since the very first time I brushed his teeth [he's 27 months old]. I still make it fun. In the beginning it was honestly just to make him do it, but now he likes it. I lay him down, hold him with my legs, and I giggle [really silly fake giggling- but I end up really laughing] every time the toothbrush touches his teeth. He starts giggling because of my giggling, which makes it easier to brush. I add in some tickles too, and it's over pretty quick!

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E.C.

answers from New York on

When one of my kids is really afraid of something, I back off for a few weeks - no mention of it, no alluding to it. Then I am really enthusiastic of my own doing of that thing - have husband and older kids in on it - a big treat, something big kids do, etc. But ignore him when you are doing it completely.

Make sure he is not eating any candy (or those fake fruit snacks) or soda - and only 10:1 water:juice. If this is a change, just nonchalantly but clearly say, "It's okay we don't brush your teeth. But I can't give you x when we don't brush them. It's your choice." Be cheerful and move on to the next item of the day. If he persists, nonchalantly say, "You can have x. I need to brush your teeth first though. It's your choice." (Make sure you get to brush them first - he has a reward he is choosing - and do a real cursory, short, successful no way he could ever gag brush.)

I hope this helps.

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E.E.

answers from New York on

I did the "hold him down" trick for my almost 2 year old for a little while.

Then I got an electric toothbrush (for kids) and started bribing (if we brush your teeth you get to X - for us it was watching a Sesame Street podcast before bed). Now, he tells me, "I know rules mama" and takes me into the bathroom with his mouth wide open.

I do think I was hitting his gag reflex which was part of why he hated it so much so for awhile I was VERY careful not to go too far back (we don't have 2 year molars here yet so we don't have to go that far back). I stayed extra careful for a good 2 weeks until I felt that I gained his trust. Now if I do it by accident he doesn't freak out as much.

Good luck!

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N.D.

answers from New York on

Hold him down? Junk on his teeth? What does he eat that he has junk on his teeth? If he has a good diet there shouldnt be any junk on his teeth and you shouldnt worry about him brushing let alone have to 'hold him down.' My goodness, they are baby teeth and a few days without brushing will certainly NOT give him cavities IF he isnt eating too much junk, including those awful fruit snacks. Let him brush his own teeth, he wont do as good a job as you, but it wont matter. Relax, he has a few YEARS to go before it becomes a necessary daily chore.

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A.A.

answers from Chicago on

I understand why he's frightened, gagging is gross. Throwing up can be very scary for a kid. Have you tried letting him "brush" your teeth or maybe dad's? Or maybe even a doll's teeth? Basically it might loosen him up a bit. Make it sound very important that he needs to help you brush your teeth and you will brush his. Try and stay as calm as possible and keep the mood light. Try all this, but at the end of the day if he is still refusing, then teeth brushing is just one of those necessary things and I would have your husband help hold him while you brush. It is not to be cruel, but if he doesn't have his teeth brushed properly he will get cavities and a trip to the dentist for fillings will be a lot more terrifying in the end - so know that you are saving him from that. I would just let him know that there is no choice-his teeth will be brushed-if he does it with no drama then a small treat like a sticker. Best of luck---this is one of those not so fun parts of being a mom! =(

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

You already have some good suggestions here but I would let him watch you brush and try himself. My son is 4 and fought toothbrushing until about 2.5. Finally I got him to do it first and then I finish up. He also loved picking out a kids spinbrush and kids toothpaste.

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A.S.

answers from Rochester on

Sadly, I have to hold my son down to brush his teeth. My daughter is a breeze & lets me brush as much as I need to. Never mind that mom that told you not to worry about brushing at this age & ridiculed you for using the word, "junk" when I'm sure you were referring to tartar & plaque. Even healthy food can get stuck in teeth & form plaque around the gumline. You definitely need to make sure you brush their teeth because you have to keep the roots healthy so they have healthy second teeth. I tried to let my kids brush their teeth themselves, watch me brush my own, etc. They don't get the concept that they have to run the brush along their teeth & just suck on it instead. My kids are only three...your's is just two. They'll get the concept eventually.

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