Have a Friend Who Needs Advice on Potty Training a 3.5Yrs Old

N. I have potty trained 2 boys and a girl so far, I have found that Boys tend to be lazy about it. When they are ready they will do it. My now 14 year old was about 5. He just woke up and did it. My soon to be 8 year old those huggie pull ups worked good because they feel wet and bribing helped him as well.lol

I had trouble potty training my oldest son, too. He was around 3 1/2 and just wasn't feelin' the whole potty thing. He didn't like sitting on the potty, and he was scared to fall in if he stood in front on a stool...so my husband started sitting him backward on the potty. He didn't have to worry about peeing all over the place, while sitting, and he was still getting the same affect as standing and peeing...after we tried that it was DAYS before he was in underwear full time, no accidents.

Probably not what you were looking for, but I didn't expect it to work, either and I was surprised :P

when my son was younger I started him off by always having daddy or grandpa take him to the bathroom when they went in to go go pee. To show him how the "big boys" do it. then we would keep his diaper off and run around in big boy underwear and we would take him about every 15 min so that he got the idea. Good luck

Maybe it is time to do away with the diaper? At least thru the hours of the day when he can really concentrate on learning this new skill, and have access to a potty. Sounds like he is making an effort, which is half the battle. Show some confidence in him, and give him big-boy pants. Not another diaper like pull ups, but real underpants and trousers. Also, there are very few teenagers still having a problem wetting their diapers so never lose hope.
My friend's daughter would announce in one complete sentence, "I've gotta'go potty oh it's already coming out." It's all about timing I guess. She had mastered the potty trip in plenty of time for preschool.

I’m not sure if this will work however, I have been doing well with my 18 moth old. Try setting a timer and every hour take him to the potty and ask him to try to go potty. Also ditch the diaper except for outings or at night. He wont want to dirty his self, and then she will know when he went and can explain to him what he should have done. Best of luck.

Hello...I completely understand the situation..Last spring when my eldest turned 3 she was doing the same...I was fortunate enough to have an aunt that was able to take her for 4 days in one shot, when she did she and her daughters put Kelsea on the potty around the clock and when she came home she only had to wear a pull up to bed just in case and even that ended within 2 weeks...Now, I am going through ti again with my 2 and a half year old...I tried exactly what worked for my eldest...Every child is so much different I understand the frustration....I also use a sticker reward for whenever she is on the potty and succeeds in going..She gets very excited about that....Maybe a combo of ideas that you receive will work for your friend....Best of Wishes

well, first know that average age for boys to be potty trained is 4 (girls is 3) - SO, whatever he does - he is ahead, and I've known parents who got their boys trained at 2 and a half and some not until 4 and a half - so patience is needed. Keep in mind he will give his own cues as to when he is ready - saying that he has to go - even after he has gone in diaper/pull-up - IS progress. It means he knows something is going on. SO let him go at his own pace, pressure NEVER works; in fact pressure can slow down or reverse the potty training process. In the meantime - make a BIG deal out of it when he uses the potty (I mean clap and yell and blow party horns) any positive encouragement will only reinforce (positively) what he is doing.

I have potty train many children in the past couple years. I normally tell the parents to let them change them selves if they have an accident. The children hate doing it and will eventually stop. Once they are dry through the night for about a week take away the pull up and if they have an accident again let them change them selves. This worked well with my son and my nephew.

I'm currently in the same situation. My 3 1/2 year old son is partial trained. At this time he will only go pee in the potty but nothing else. He refuses to sit on the big potty or even stand in front of the potty. He recently started a new preschool and the entire potty training situation has gotten worse.

My pediatriction suggested that I ease up on the potty training in regards to him only going pee in the potty. He stated that some children will actually hold their bowel movements because they don't want to go in the potty or in their pants. So at this time, I'm not pushing the situation but I'm looking forward to having pull-up/diaper free days.

I would interested in what others have to say about this problem as well. I have heard that it does take little boys longer than littel girls but when should I start to be concerned?

Sincerely,
R.

Hi! My son , who is a very intelligent 9 year old now, didn't train until right after his 4th birthday. I bought him a potty when he was 2! but he wasn't ready. I think that is the most important factor - their readiness. I say that because my son was in a home day care setting with another child his age who was trained already. Well a little of being around that child and mine just did it, almost overnight. Within a week he was diaper free at night as well. I don't agree with the mom who suggested there might be developmental delays; boys typically train later than girls anyway. I would tell your friend not to give up on the training or her son - he will get it. Good luck!

I'm not really sure on this, but I'd be checking to see if he has any other developmental delays - is there a physical or emotional reason why he still needs diapers? If not, I'd stop using them and just be ready for a lot of laundry. The weather has been really nice out so she could take a week or two of playing outside a lot with a potty near by and let him go in just a long t-shirt or have clean shorts & undies ready to change him if he pees his pants. That's how I potty trained mine, but they were all done before 2 years old, so it might not work the same with a kid that old.

hi, i used this new book.. it's called "toilet training in less than a day".. now i know it seems crazy but it works. i used it for my daughter when she was about 2 1/2... took 3 days total. first day was the training, 2nd was a reinforcement of the training, and the 3rd was just a double reinforcement for me.. she had accidents the first 2 days, the 3rd only b/c she tinkled on the way to the potty and just didnt get there fast enough but the effort was there. and by the 4th day it was a done deal. the method in the book really worked, and they have all the ways to act when they do have accidents, and all that. its very consistent. its awesome, she thinks she's a big girl now, she's on the potty everytime now, and stays dry all night. give it a shot. i found the book at barnes and noble but i'm sure its all over. hope it works!! and i'm sure at his age he'll get in down pretty easily..

I have potty trained 3 children in the last 2 years. Two girls and one boy. Two were children I watch, a boy and a girl. Although they did not potty train as quickly as my daughter the method did work once Mom and Dad got on board. The best way I have found is to set aside either a weekend if working parent or 2 days during the week.

You will need to take the little boy potty every hour. Whether he has to go or not. You put him on the potty and wait. Give him a few minutes, if he does not go take him off and try again in an hour. I would suggest letting him wear either training pants or a pull up. Training pants are better because they know they can pee in diapers.

Also, reward his efforts. But more importantly, if he does go on the potty, the reward would need to be greater than that of his effort reward. Keep it simple. If he fights you, that is okay, make him go anyways, be the heavy. Make sure you ask him if he has to go, if he says no that is okay. Make him sit on potty anyways. He will eventually learn the difference in feeling he has to go and when he does not. Also, when he does say no I do not have to go, say okay lets try anyways. You may surprise yourself.

Good Luck!!!!!

T. B

As you have read, your friends little boy is not out of the norm. I only tried potty training my son when he showed interest. That was at 18 mnths, 2 yrs, 2 1/2 yrs, and then finally at 3 yrs. He chose to stop each time before that and I honored that decision. I just felt that forcing him to go would only delay things. At three I took away the diapers (after he was taking off his poopy diapers). I talked to him face to face and told him if he knew enough to take off the poopy diapers then he didn't need them anymore. He went straight in to his big boy underwear and we have never had a problem since. No diapers during nap or night time after testing him for a week. That being said, I have a friend that is still working on potty training her 4 yr old. I truely believe that it is when they are ready, some just take longer than others. I guess patients is the key. Rewards work well too :) M&Ms, Jelly Beans, etc. I did let my son buy a toy at Toys R Us once he got through two weeks of being dry and clean. Good Luck!