Have One or Not

I think you should have one... if you're nervous about having a "2nd" shower... go & make a baby shower registry for planned parenthood..? ask what they need & have a great time getting excited about baby 2 & feel good about helping other new mothers get excited about thier new arrival! It's win win!

Hi B.!
I think there is nothing wrong with having a baby shower for each baby. I had 2 with my first. A welcome baby one after my second then another shower with my 3rd. People wanted to throw them and I let them. I think it is great to acknowledge each new baby. But I can see where some have posted that having a baby one year then having another soon afterwards and have another baby shower may seem like much. And in that case I would say a welcome baby party is a fun idea!

I would say that if they want to throw you a shower then let them! I know that some people think that it is tacky, but I had a baby shower with my first and with my second. I actually had two baby showers for my second, because I had different friends that I had met and I worked at a new place, so everyone wanted to buy me gifts for my new baby, because they weren't around for the first! I say go for it and have fun! Who cares what other people think! ~S.

I believe that a shower is given to celebrate the pending arrival or already arrived welcome addition. It is NOT just to ask for gifts, though people usually are happy to pick something out for the mother or baby and don't underestimate that everyone goes home having eaten good food/snacks, drinks and hopefully a fun time with a great bunch of women. There is a reason for RSVP's - so the people that don't want to go (think it's rude for some reason) don't have to.

I didn't get a lot of big ticket items at my shower - a stroller system from my parents and a pack-n-play from grandparents, the rest was much smaller items (sometimes pooled into a large basket). Guests don't need to spend a lot of money just to make an effort to support the wondrous occasion that having a baby is.

For my second child (only a year and a half later - same sex) my sister put together a "Sprinkle" for me and our other sister (due just 5 weeks after me). A sprinkle is just a lighter version of a shower and mainly invited family. No games, just food, cake and conversation and some gifts - we even included the guys on this one.

How great it will be to include pictures and comments for my second son in his baby book to know how much we celebrated his coming arrival.

I do like the idea of having it after the birth so everyone can meet the baby.

Remember it is not something you can go back and do later. So what if it a few other people don't think it's a good idea - it's not their baby.
Celebrate Life!
J.

Well maybe my family is just different, but we throw a shower whether its your first baby or your fifth! I don't think its tacky at all, because there are alot of new things out there, and clothing seasons may be different, and inmy family its just importatn for us to all get together and enjoy the company. We literally get together for everything, birthdays, showers, weddings, etc. And I had a shower with my oldest, thrown by family, and also with my youngest 3 1/2 years later, also thrown by my family. Both boys. And then a month after my youngest was born, all of my cousins, aunts, and their kids came down to my house and had a 'meet the baby' party, they brought the food and cake and it was alot of fun!

So I say go ahead and have a shower! Or just have a party! Its not tacky at all and I think its a great way to congratulate mom, and your oldest can get involved as well by being the hostess. :)

Dear B. U,
I say have the shower! Your friends and sister want you to have it. Besides each baby is unique. Also new items come out every year.Maybe there are things that both children can share like a double stroller...Well good luck,Have fun,and God bless!!! K. F.

Hi B., well my sister recently dealt with this same issue and almost every one who we talked to about it says you are not supposed to do it. In my experience people consider it to be kind of rude and greedy, especially if your other child is only two years old. I say do whatever you please, usually it's mostly family and close friends anyway.

Wow...what a wide variety of opinions...and very strong ones I must say. I just wanted to congratulate you on your new baby. Do whatever you feel is right and don't worry so much what is "socially acceptable". Who really cares what other people are going to think...if it feels right and you and your friends would have fun...go for it. If you don't feel comfortable...go with one of the many other party ideas that were given. Either way...just enjoy yourself and be blessed.

I say have a meet the baby party. Then people can see the baby.. you can get it all over with at once, and who ever brings a gift brings a gift.

I think it is ok. I went through the same thing i had my first daughter early to, and never got a shower. So with the second baby it was nice. Because there are always things that you will need. (Diapers):-)

I agree with the responses about how a second shower 2 years later looks tacky. I had friends that also wanted to throw us a shower for our second. I declined and asked them to throw a "Welcome Baby" party. I LOVED this!! Because there is a HUGE adjustment from going from one child to two, and that way we could celebrate our second's coming in the world in a whole different light.
Not only that, but our second one was a boy (our first a girl) so people could buy him things that we had not had from our first. I received many compliments about the idea and everyone was VERY excited to beable to see him, not just the bump in my tummy. Also, his big sister was VERY excited then to show him off and help open his presents.
Just my thoughts for you!

I agree with the majority. In your situation, I would not feel comfortable having a second shower. Typically one shower is customary. In my case my husbands family threw me a baby shower with my second child. It was his first, and my kids are 10 years apart. I didn't want them to have one for me but they did it anyway. My own family did not have one for me. Have a baby party after the birth to introduce the baby and if people feel the need to bring a gift so be it. Good luck.

What we did with our second, more by accident than on purpose was have a "welcome" party after the birth. The shower was already planned for that date, but I ended up delivering early so everyone got to meet my little one instead.

have a shower they are fun, and if people are offering to have one for you and sending you money for it they do not disaprove

I think socially you would only have a shower for the first baby, since they are generally used to help you outfit yourself with all the expensive baby stuff. But why not have a meet and greet the baby party after he/she is born. Maybe a month or so after they are born have a party where all your friends can get together and meet the baby and just hang out.

I completely agree with Becky W. It is not tacky, what is tacky is people that throw themselves showers just to get attention and gifts. Showers are meant to be thrown by friends and family, so how can anyone think the mom is being tacky? Have the party... personally, I already told my mom she had better plan a shower for my little one on the way... There are things I need for the baby, and my family never threw me one with my first (3 years ago). I already knew she was planning to though, so it was really more of a joke! Have fun, and enjoy your new baby. Be sure to involve your 2 year old in the party if you can though, so she doesn't get too jealous of the baby.

CONGRATS!!!!!!!!

I personally wouldnt feel comfortable having a second shower, but part of that is because my family says you should really only have one. I know of people who have one for every child though. I would tell your sister you dont feel all the way comfortable with it so you dont want to be involved if she decides to have one for you.
I wasnt going to have a second one either but now a girl from my work said she is going to have one for me - I know she is going to have one but its still sort of a surprise cause I dont know when or who is coming.
I think it just depends on how you feel comfortable and if you have supportive friends & family who would want to come.
And maybe have a party AFTER the child is born instead so people can at least see the new baby. - It gives it a better reason.
K.

Well, I had a second shower, HOWEVER, my children were 6yrs apart and they have different fathers. Even though I already had my daughter, my husband's family wanted to throw me a shower because this was his first child.

I honestly wouldn't have had a second shower if the father was the same for both children. People feel like they have to buy you something.

I do agree with one the other people about maybe having a small get together with friends, but I wouldn't invite family...

Congrats and good luck...

i have had two sets of families, the children are 17 years apart. my sister had one for me, but only for the first born.
socially you only have one house warming party,one baby shower, one honeymoon. i would not have a party i would spend it on the baby. sometimes you can not recoupe the money and you dont want to waste it. your friends can not control what you do with it. just kick back and spend it.

I had a shower for my first child and a welome to the family party for my second. That way everyone gets to meet the new baby.It worked out really well.

we had a couple of showers for our first baby. we didnt have a shower for our second girl, but we had a big baptism celebration and invited friends and family. it was a way for everyone to come together and celebrate our baby's birth. People brought small gifts but were in no way asked to. We also provided all the food and drink. It was a great day!

A good friend of mine is having a shower for her second due in May. Her situation was similar - her first arrived by surprise 5 weeks early on the day her shower was planned for so she didn't really get the shower experience with him. I think every mom deserves a day to feel special and "showered" with love. Well it is mainly a gift giving occasion its not the only reason for the party. Plus she registerd for things that were not still good from the first baby - like bibs and onesies, etc. Plus diapers and a booster seat, double stroller, etc. Things you don't get with the first. I have no problem going to a 2nd baby shower in that case. People often have more than one with the first baby. Congrats to you!

Having a shower is completely your decision. Regardless if your friends told you to use the money for a shower or not, they sent the money as a gift, and gifts should have no 'strings', meaning you shouldn't be told what you have to do with your gift.

I never had a shower with my second child, I just didn't find the time.

I would have to agree that having a second one this close is not the thing to do. However I do agree that in substitution of that have a meet and great and not "expect anything" is a good idea. And just tell your friends that you decided not to have the shower and I am sure they will tell you to buy something and keep the money. Congrats on the second baby

I hope that I can have another shower when I have another child! LOL My son is 8 years old and from a former relationship. I am happily married and TTC now our first child together. All of my baby stuff is gone sine I had no idea when I would have another child. And I want to celebrate the birth of our first child together with my loved ones. Since your sister offered I say go for it. Invite the people you know love you and want to help you celebrate this new life. The people that are going to be happy for you and WANT to celebrate are the important people in your life. Enjoy them! Hopefully all will go smoothly.

What might be fun is to have a Big Sister Shower and get your daughter involved in the party and see if some of her friends could come and get excited about a new baby in the house while still being for the new baby!

Hi B....
I would say that it will be all up to you. especially if your friends have given you money for it and if your sister wants to put one on. I think it is a great way to get together socially and to have some fun..

Hi B.,

IMHO, it's kinda tacky to have a second baby shower unless the children are quite far apart. Maybe a get together at a restaurant with no expectation of gifts?

A.

I agree, not good to have another one. Let your friends know though that sent you the $$$ that you will not be having one. I'm sure they won't ask for it back so you can still get something nice with that.

My family does not believe in having more than one shower no matter what. My friend on the other hand had a boy and was expecting a girl so her friend tossed her a shower. My work tossed me a shower for my second which I was uncomfortable with because of how I was raised. I guess if you're okay having one then have someone put it on for you. I know I'd think less about a second shower if they are having a different sexed kid from what they already have. You know?

I'm not a fan of second showers unless it's been like 10 years and they have gotten rid of everything. The purpose of the shower is to get the things you need for a baby and you already got them at your last shower. Most people that are close to you will probably bring a little something when they come to see the baby anyways.
I would just take the money they sent and buy something you need for the new baby and then send them a thank you note with a picture of what you bought.
Congrats on the new baby!
J.

Do you need anything? I would say if you have most of the items a new parent would need, take the money your friends gave you and buy those items. Call them and thank them for the money and let them know how you plan to spend it and let them know what you end up purchasing. Less hassle-no guilt.

I only have one child. But my sister had showers with three of her kids. I know a lot of people consider it very tacky of her. But she lived in a different state for each one, so it is not like the same people came to every shower.
if someone offered you a shower take it! Why is it so wrong to have more than one shower anyway? When your third child looks through your first childs photo album and sees pics of a baby shower and wonders why they did not get one, what do you say? It is not socially exeptable,What is?

It always bothers me when ppl have a babyshower than a year or two later have another one to the point I will not acknowledge their second shower. My cousin did that with having two girls two years apart and rudely asked for only diapers I thought if you can't afford diapers don't have another one but anyways. I have heard of a shower if the kids are like 10 years apart, a twin or triplet pregnancy something out of the ordinary or a some ppl have a "sprinkle" like if they have had 3 boys and all of a sudden have a little girl and need girlie things. The point of a shower is to celebrate a pregnancy and a baby and to help the parents with the cost of all the many many many things they need being first time parents.

I think you should have a welcome home party or a celebration of life party to acknowledge your newest family member maybe make it religous or whatnot. But you wouldn't need babyshower games, and baby equipment again. It should be a family/friend get together like a birthday party or something similar something the entire family can participate in.

I also missed my babyshower I was in the hospital on bedrest and my daughter was premature so when I got home we had a shower without games and stuff. We just celebrated my daughter and I still got presents for the baby and it was just us girls.

I say have one. No one is ever obligated to buy anything, but they have the opportunity to help you out where you still probably need it - like a double stroller, etc. No matter what, you need to have a party to celebrate - just say "gifts not obligatory" or something on the invite. Each child deserves his/her own party. Even if s/he's not out of you yet, baby can still hear everything going on, and deserves to be celebrated.

Perhaps people might like to get you toys, books, music to help your 2-yr old adjust to being a big sister. Remember, there are people that LIKE to give others things - it's just as much a party for them too. Celebrate the community. Peace.

I met my husband when my daughter was 2 months. There were 2 showers thrown for me then.
When I had my son, 4 years later, my husbands family and my friend threw a shower for us.
I felt a little uncomfortable with another shower, but it was great and my best friend, who had been in England during my entire first pregnancy until my daughter was 1 month, was able to be there this time.

However, if it is all the same people and you're not having multiples, then I suggest you nix the shower idea right away.

The others are right with a "Meet the Baby" party.
You can let your sister plan it, but be sure to tell her that it needs to be game-free and casual.

She can plan her shower, without all the stuff that makes it a shower. That way she'll still be able to do something for you, just not a shower.

My friends threw me a very simple "shower" about two weeks before I was due with my second child. We were expecting a girl (and already had a boy), so I got mostly girl clothes, which was great! It was at the restaurant where I started labor with my first...just for fun! :)

So, if it's small, with just some close friends, I'd go for it. Just probably not the full-blown-invite-everyone-you've-ever-met type shower.

Have fun!

I am a mother of only one 4 month old child, but I had 2 showers -- not including my work shower. Also, I have been in several weddings and responsible for showers and I also have been responsible for a few baby showers. With that said -- from a person who LOVES doing things for others, I would feel a little taken advantage of if I was asked to throw/attend a second shower. Plus the question becomes, what do you get the person because you don't really know what they need.

My suggestion, would be to throw a "Meet The Baby" party a few months following the birth (sometime after you are settled, maybe around 3 months). This will allow people who want to provide you with gifts to do so, but they will also get to meet the bundle of joy. I have attend a few such events and it was very nice. The attention becomes about the baby and not the mom (unlike an actual shower), but I think that sounds like you'd be o.k. with that.

Also, I wouldn't include a registry and only tell people if they ask what you need. I imagine most people will bring clothes or toys.

Hope this helps.

I think that people that have two showers are for those who are in a different relationship so the dad's are different and the children are farther apart at least 5 years. I would tell your friends the situation and ask them if they minded if you just bought the baby something. I find that for a second child close in age and same biological parents that people like to bring things over. I just wouldn't have a shower. You can do whatever you feel comfortable doing however.

I think that if that is what your friends sent you money for then that ie what you should do. Otherwise I wouls use the money to buy something that the baby can keep for a long time.That way they know that the money was put to good use. My best friend had a shower for all three of her kids, i guess it is just personal preferance.