Have You Changed Your Child's Name?

It sounds like the two of you would benefit greatly by seeing a counselor. There's much more going on here than naming this particular child.

My aunt changed her son's name when he was a toddler...odd...but he/we all got over it. The guy who cuts my hair went by his middle name until he was 30 or so...then decided to use his first name. Takes a bit of time to get used to a different name @ 30...but it worked. A friend of my daughter's is called by her middle name at school (the name her mom liked) and by her first name at home (the name her dad liked). You can call him whatever you want. It doesn't matter what's on his certificate.

Hi, C.:

You already know what is troubling you about the name.
It really isn't about the name. It is symbolizing your
grief of not telling your mom about your pregnancy.

You can call your baby any name you want without having to
change the name.

Sounds like you are really upset that you feel your husband isn't giving you
the support you need to get through your grief.

Give yourself time and the grief will unfold for you.

The name is a symbol of making amends to your mom.

Love your baby and your other children and your husband, this is
all that really matters.

All the Best.
D.

.

I suggest that you have issues much more serious than your child's name and that you are focusing on the name rather than the real issue. From this post it sounds like the issues are being misunderstood by your husband and grief over the loss of your mother. I urge you to first deal with those two issues and then consider changing his name legally. I urge you to get into some counseling.

In the meantime call him Jack. It doesn't matter what name is on the birth certificate. You can call him anything you want. I've met lots of people with names that do not match their birth certificate. A common reason is that once the parents got to know their baby, the name they chose just didn't fit.

Call him whatever feels comfortable to you. Your husband can call him something different, if he chooses to. Your baby will get used to both names.

For your grief, I suggest that hospitals and some churches have grief support groups. Your mother didn't have to be at the hospital for you to attend their grief support group. It's usually free and very helpful.

You can call any child by nicknames and pet names. My kids all have a half-dozen names or so, and will respond to any of them. Occasionally, they make up their own names.

One of them named himself Jack for about 8 months. Then he decided he liked his original name better and went back to it. My eldest daughter is called Charlie at church, to the point that many people at church don't know her given name.

Call him by his legal name, Jack, and any other pet names you might enjoy. As he gets older, he'll be drawn to whatever name is right for him, or make up his own.

If he wants to change his name legally when he is 18, offer to assist with the paperwork and expenses. Don't take any legal action in the meantime.

If you and your husband are fighting about his name, seek counseling.

I had a friend change her baby's name at 6 months... And now that she is 4, it is just a cute story. I really dont see a problem with changing his name at this point in his life. It sounds like your husband doesn't really understand how big of a deal this is to you. Try to express that to him... This is a 10... This is something you lose sleep over etc! I hope you get the name that honors your mother :-(.

When I had my son, I also did not have a name for him. I was deciding between Jonah and Simon, but didn't love either. Finally I had to decide for the birth certificate and my father suggested Joshua, a name I always loved but I was afraid didn't go with our last name, and I hated the nickname Josh. So before filling out the birth certificate i spoke at length with on of the nurses who explained I could easily change his name anytime if I wanted to within I believe the first year. It is apparently more common then let on. I ended up keeping him as Joshua, but it was a relief knowing I could easily change it. when I changed my name as an adult, i had to have a court petition, still fairly easy and worth it. I was in my early 20's and everyone adjusted fairly quickly. My Mom now says my birth name was like a childhood nickname. A name can always be changed. It sounds like you have a lot of issues going on. Your grief over your Mom and not telling her about this pregnancy. Your grief over not naming any of your children. Honestly I wouldn't allow that. You are the Mother and I feel it is our job to choose the name of the child we carried within our bodies. Yes they have a father, but he didn't carry this child inside him for months. I would say that yes you need some help with the grieving process, and talking about it will help, and in dealing with your resentment about your other kids names. I would still say change this baby's name now while he is still young. I have known people to change the name as old as 4 months. And I am sure there are people who change it much later. I would encourage you to go ahead and change the name. You will still have to deal with the grief and resentment over your other children's names and the grief over your Mom's passing, but you won't have to deal with the grief and resentment over this child's name. Why add to a list of other issues you need to deal with. Change his name now and then get to work on the other issues. And honestly changing his name may help toward your healing in the other matters. It will not fix any of it, but it may bring you some comfort and validation. I would do it as soon as you can. Contact your local county court to find out about the process. Quote fro a website about changing your child's name, "To change the name on your child's birth certificate, you'll need to contact your state's Office of Vital Records — typically part of the Department of Health. Most states allow parents six to 12 months to make changes to a child's birth certificate without requiring a court order. The fee for a birth certificate change will be approximately $40." I hope that helps! So it seems you do not have to go through the court at all. Good luck!

My father's legal name was Reginald, but everyone called him Jack. I think you should talk to your husband about this. You may not need to change his name legally....but you could call him what you would like.....just a thought.

I believe you have 1 year to change his name without a lot of serious legal hoopla. I'd talk to your husband about the whole picture. See if he can agree on a name for this son since you didn't really get to pick the others.

We agreed on the name Ruby for our 2nd daughter immediately and just could not agree on a middle name. I really wanted Ruby Rhea because I love the ring it has. My hubby didn't like it at all. The day after she was born and we were filling out the birth certificate we had to pick SOMETHING and decided to go with Grace. Grace is our oldest daughters middle name as well. I was never thrilled with it for Ruby. For 3 years I would call her Ruby Rhea on and off. Low and behold, my husband liked the sound of it and said we should change it. For months I would say to Ruby, are you Ruby Rhea or Ruby Grace and EVERY TIME she would say she is Ruby Grace. That's who she is and that is the name she will for ever keep. But for me, I will think of her as my Ruby Rhea from time to time.

Here is my story. Our second was a boy and my husband wanted a junior. I didn't want that at all. I wanted our son to have his own name; however, it was very important to hubby so I said okay but we are not calling him Michael, little Mike or Mikie. His middle name was Charles so we went with Chase (short for Charles). If we had gone with Charlie (love it!) it would have sounded too close to Charlie Brown! So Chase it was. My son is Chase. I wish we had named him that but I will say that while we call him Chase he does like being a Junior!

Does your husband live under a rock? Did he never hear of Jackson Pollack the famous painter?
Your husband is a control freak if you never got to pick the name of any of your children. How else does he oppress you?

I changed my 3 1/2 year old's name. She didn't like it but it stuck and she likes it today.

My name was "Alexandrea" a form of Alexander and Drea, names of people from my mom's teen years, but changed it soon after I was born to Alexis