Have You Ever Had a Stalker?

Only cats. "If we follow her around all the time, maybe she'll feed us!"

But I don't think that's what you have in mind.

Listen to these people who are giving you real answers.

Yes. I have a lot of police officers in the family. Two steps ahead. :)

And for anyone that needs to know, it is against the law and you can do things about it.

Keep everything and print it out and document it. You will need it.

I did and it went on for years. Back in my late teens I dated a guy and when we broke up he wouldn't go away. No matter where I went or who I was with he was always there. I would see him outside my apartment, work, everywhere I went. He would also call or speak to anyone I dated. It was so scary not knowing what he might do. Back then they didn't have any laws on stalkers like they do now. The cops wouldn't (or couldn't) do anything until you were attacked or dead.
He sent me a letter saying he was going to sue me for any unreturned gifts he gave me. It’s funny that he sent it right before my house was robbed and I had kept the letter. In the report that the police took (for the break in) I showed them the letter and they investigated him. I think that’s when he finally went away. After almost 5 years of it I was glad it was over.

BTW: I still look over my shoulder now and then and I am always aware of my surroundings. The feeling never really goes away.

Unfortunately, yes. There was a man at a job I had over 8 years ago. He and I chatted a lot when my first marriage was going down the drain. Bad idea. When my ex and I split up, he assumed we would begin seeing each other. When that didn't happen, he started telling men at my job that we were in a relationship, I broke up with him and I gather he shared intimate details of our "togetherness." Then, of course, since he was popular at work and with top management, I was a cold, heartbreaker. Oh yes, I'm serious.

I began dating my current husband not terribly long after I'd blown him off - I ignored him completely when he wouldn't take no for an answer as far as seeing him outside of work. Anyway, after 10 months we were engaged. Stalker really hit the roof. There were break up rumors floating around on my engagement - okay morale at work was bad at this point as half of us were waiting to lose our jobs - so people loved a side distraction, but I was feeling harassed by more than just him at that point. There were also many, many people coming up to me and telling me that maybe my fiance is not the right O., someone else really likes me, etc. 0_0 I even had O. woman tell me that I didn't deserve him (the stalker). Here I was engaged to someone else and excitedly talking wedding plans. Can you imagine????

From things that he'd (stalker) told me, I've gotten the impression that he'd been in front of my home at night and, also, later my fiance's. Creepy.

This was a humiliating experience at work. I felt stressed and more than a little rattled. In the end, leaving the job was only way to get away from this. When layoffs began, I talked with the client, who was also a manager, and told him I'd like to be in the next round of layoffs as my job was easily replacable with then current staff. After I left, I didn't even keep in touch with former work associates as to distance myself completely. I went into a different job field altogether after that due to the economy, so it didn't matter that I lost touch.

I'm now slowly working my way back into that job field. The stalker is now living in another state far away, but this experience is always in the back of my mind haunting me as I'm contemplating reacquainting myself with main stream workers in this field. It's a small, small field. It's really sad because certainly there were several things to have left an impression on me in my former, but current-again line of work, including positive ones. I guess being anxious, fearful and helpless for at least two years at a full-time job can do that to a person. That said, I'm going to make it a priority to remember the good, educational experience first in my mind.

ETA: Thanks for the flowers ladies. I've told very few people this because it makes me feel crazy just talking about it. I do NOT wish this on anyone!

Yes, in high school. He used to send me cards every day and call and play "Every Breath You Take" by The Police on my answering machine. My dad called his dad and let him know in no uncertain terms what would happen if his 18yo son didn't leave me alone. Fortunately, my dad is pretty scary and I never heard from him again. Not everyone is so lucky. I made sure I kept every card, letter, message, and time he would drive by. Our next step was to go to the police.

I have had a few in my time.

When I was in High School, I worked at a Sports and memorabilia store.

It was at our Local mall. I was the Manager of the Kiosk that we had outside the store in the mall.....So I was on display for everyone to see ALL day, most of the time....I called it the human fish bowl. cause I was surrounded by glass cases that were lit up.

I had this younger kid that was maybe a little younger then me that would stand with me ALL day. I would be silent towards him the whole time...He would just sit, on the bench and be there.

I finally spoke with the owner and the Mall about it. They sited him for trespassing and I never really had to deal with him again. He did call the kiosk while I was working a few times...but It was easy enough to hang up on him.

The other person, was a little bit messy.

While working at the Kiosk, I was really good friends with people at Naturalizer...Their store was next to me. I would go in and use their rest room from time to time, eventually I got a Part time job there, even.

The Ron the manager started getting really touchy feely. I total ignored it. And stopped trying to be ''Friends'' with him. When he started inviting me over for movie nights, and then would get mad at me for not excepting the invite, I quit working there.

Like three months later, other members of his staff sent in a complaint to Naturalizer HR, about what had happened with Ron and I, and how his actions made me quit.

He started coming over to the Kiosk DAILY paranoid as all hell. He would quiz me on whether or not I had spoke with HR. He wanted to know what the other staff had said. He had not been dealt with yet, because there was an investigation going on.

All of this ended up taking a VERY long time to get to the bottom of. I left my job at the kiosk and had taken a Manager's job at Spencer Gifts.

The harassment charges had go to court, I had given a written deposition for what had happened, they did not want to put me on the stand in front of him.

Two weeks before the trial....He came and found me at work. Thank god my manager knew at that point who we was, and that there was a court ordered to stay away from me. She called the Police.

He had his day in court for the sexual harassment charges(he had 2 other charges against him as well)and I have never heard from him again. Mainly because I fell off the face of the earth after leaving Spencers.

My issue was, I was always too nice to people in the beginning. At this point in my life I was very self absorbed.....O. of the beautiful people, who just thought people wanted to be near me, because I was pretty(yes I had a period in my life I was like this, not proud of it at all but it happens)....I loved the attention from people...until it turned into TOO MUCH attention....Then these guys thought me being nice was an invite to much much more.

With the manager from Naturalizer it was scary. Cause we did know each other from working at the mall, quite well. So when he started in with me... he had ALL my personal information, because I was eventually employed by him. ...and he used that information to his benefit...or at least tried.

With all the info and the fact he knew me...fairly well...The creepy cards were stacked up against me.

Now days, I am more apprehensive about who I socialize with. I think alot of it stems from what happened with the Mngr. of Naturalizer. It sucks that just O. or two bad experiences, can turn into a lack of trust all around.

I am happy I would know now how to stop it in its tracks. I would not take, what I took from someone, as for as long as it had been going on.

so was it peeping through the window stalker...no thank goodness...but it was peering through the store from watching her every move....I hated being in that fish bowl..and that would finally be what made me leave working Locally. I had to go somewhere, no O. knew I was at. And made sure I kept it that way.

Social media stalker I had was from playing the Games on FB that you can play, but need friends. This person would go through my pictures and make lude comments about me, my kids or someone else in the photo.

I had not seen them at first...It was my husband that had seen it and then alerted me. It was awful...and getting him removed did not help because we would try to friend request me with different accounts and do the same thing. Eventually working with FB they were able to block him completely. But it was extremely frustrating to deal with!

Thank goodness FB privacy settings have gotten alot better and you can block ANYONE no questions asked.

My daughter did last year. She told O. day when she was home from college that she was getting these calls that were really graphic sexually and gross. She was getting really freaked out and upset. I told her that she needed to keep track and you could see all the calls (blocked) on her phone. This creep was calling at least 10 xs at night. When she went back to school, she called me at about 12:30 A.M. and was crying. The perv had called again. I got on my other phone and called the police in her town (not the campus police). They were at her apartment door in 15 minutes! They took it very seriously and assigned a detective. They sent a warrent to AT&T to get the records. The detective called her O. day and said we have a number. She gave her the area code and come to find out it was coming from Kentucky which is where we used to live! I thought Shannon was going to completely freak out on that. The number was a prepaid phone so unfortunately we never did find out who it was and yes I called the number several times!. The last time the perv called she said she knew who it was and that the police in Texas did too. Never heard back. We suspect we know who it was (old boyfriend). My daughter changed during this period of time. She wouldn't go out after dark, she couldn't be alone in her apartment and she was scared to walk to her car on campus. The O. comfort was that the number was a Kentucky number so she felt a little safer but still our society is so mobile that you never know.

I will say this, if I ever get my hands on who did this, lets just say he is going to be in pain for YEARS!

Not really.
In high school I had this guy who walked me to my classes, carried my books, walked me home, lent me his gloves during football games.
He followed me around like a puppy dog.
I married him 10 years later and we celebrate 23 years our next anniversary.
The most social media I do is post here on this site and I delete hate mail so it's not a problem.
I also guard my identity and lie %100 of the time when sites ask personal information.
I never think it couldn't happen, but I do my best to make sure I do not appear vulnerable.

Interestingly, I have had a couple of stalkers. The first was an ex-boyfriend. After we broke up, he just would sit out across from my house and watch my every move for hours. He knew what I was doing and who I was doing it with at all times. The only scary thing he did was try to run me off the road O. night on my way home from work. I made it home ok, and my mother threatened to call the police. My brother roughed him up a little bit. That seemed to get him off my back.
The second was when I was working at a bookstore in college. O. customer would come in every day looking for me. He would harass me, stare at me from behind bookshelves, follow me out of the store when I left for breaks or for the day. I was pretty scared of this guy as he was clearly not mentally there. He would come to the store dragging a leash and collar (but no dog). He would always ask me to pet the dog, and he was constantly trying to touch me. It got to where I would see him coming and hide. The manager of the bookstore would do NOTHING, claiming that he made no threats. Very shortly after this started, I began working in a library. About two weeks into my job, he walks in, starting the same thing- staring, wanting to try and touch me, hiding outside to watch me leave, etc. I was so scared that we would find out where I lived. I told my supervisor the whole story, and she immediately took action. She called the police and had him escorted out of the library when he showed up the following day. I found out later that he had been committed to a hospital later that week, as he was deemed a threat to himself and others. He apparently was stalking some other woman, too. She contacted police, as well, and he got violent with an officer. As far as I know he was sent off for court ordered psychiatric evaluation, and I never heard or saw him again.

Yes. I have....here...I just laugh because they think that much of me to sit around and wait for me to answer questions or even ask them so they can be the first to respond...

Elsewhere? yes. in college I had someone who would leave notes and flowers on my car, call my home say nasty things to me and talk to other people in my classes asking questions about me....this was before stalking laws...so there wasn't much that could be done. I was never alone at school or home....he eventually stopped...I don't know who he was.

When I was in college there was a dude that was "EVERYWHERE" I went... in O. of my classes, at the bar, around campus. He was creepy - just constantly staring at me. He never approached me but for once at the bar, so I think he was harmless... just socially poorly adjusted.

Lucky for me I graduated winter quarter that year and never had to deal with the situation... it was unsettling to say the least. My brother new about it, and helped me keep away from him.

That was before FB, so I'm not sure how social media plays in...

If it was my daughter in that situation, I'd surely be doing something proactive.

I had O. when I was in college. I commuted to school each day and I worked full time at a veterinary office. The contact was always by phone, sometimes he never even said anything. I still lived at home with my parents. He would call my phone line (I had my own line). It happened enough and he said some things that made it scary, so we called the cops. Fortunately, the cop assigned to me lived down the street from us. They put a wire tap on my phone and I kept a log of any call that came from him, I had to have three calls from the same number before anything could be done by the police. He called three times, from two different numbers...then he called my parents phone number. So the police tapped their line. He called three times from two different numbers again. Keep in mind that all of these calls came in when I was home alone, everytime. It was like he knew about the tap, but the only people that knew about it were my parents, me and the police. Then, he called me at work. I was at work alone for two hours a day during everybody's lunch break and he'd call then. So I had to alert my boss to the issue. I started keeping the front door locked and only opened it for clients. There were four phone lines at work and the cops wouldn't tap them. This went O. for a few more weeks, getting calls at work almost daily. Then, he stopped calling. I never knew who it was.

(This all happened before everybody had cell phones back in the early 90's.)

I worked at Hooters for 3 years when I was in college, and I had a stalker for awhile then. He would come into the restaurant all the time. Sometimes he would just park outside and watch through the window. Then he started waiting until I got off of work and he would bother me as I walked to my car. The manager would have to walk me to my car. When it got really bad, he started following me home. A few times he parked outside my apartment and would not leave. I had to call the police several times, and eventually got a restraining order. It was quite scary for awhile.

Yes, in real life during college. Twice. I had to call the police on O., who had a history of stalking, harassment, and battery (I came to find out after reporting him). The other was a guy who I thought was a friend and I didn't trust my initial instincts on. Let's just say it got really ugly. I'm luck that I had over-protective male friends and he made public threats that were overheard by them, so when I threatened to call the police he took me seriously. I did have to change my phone numbers make them unpublished, and I had to make use of campus security more than once. I had to change my habits so that I was never alone.

I'd rather not get into any more details.

A few yrs ago I worked with someone and we hit it off pretty well. I thought it was good until he got alcohol in him. He became crazy with a capital c and O. time was with him in a hotel room and he flipped. Locked me in wouldn't let me out it was like a scary movie I couldn't get out of. He never assaulted me but scared the hell out of me. Everyday for like the next 3 months he left roses on my desk and car. Super creepy!!!! He got fired not long after ( thank goodness)!!

Yep, for over a year, while in high school in South Florida. The police had to intervene, but they never caught him. He would call and say, "saw you in the ___ row at church wearing a _____ today", and other random stuff. They even tapped our phone. Jagoff!

We lived in Bermuda and there was a guy that was being kicked out of the Navy. He blamed my dad for it. He would come and creep around our house at night - SCARY!! I was doing dishes and he threw a rock at the window. I was 9-12 when we lived there, so I am still scared to this day!

The funniest part though is that my mom and dad used to have beach bonfire parties and someone was using our bathroom, so O. of the ladies decided to use the huge bushes as her bathroom - guess he was hiding in there! Scared her and him and he never returned!

Yikes! I didn't know there were so many stalkers.

Cute story from B.