Have You Ever Have a Child Attempt Suicide?

Make sure she is not also "depressed" or that it is not a chemical imbalance.

You NEED to take her to the Doctor or Therapist... not to demean her counseling... but Church counselors are not educated professionals on clinical aspects.

She and the family has to work on it together.

All the best,
Susan

You are not the worst mom. My son talked about it and would say things like I wish I were dead but never tried. We had a couselor.
Is her father in the picture? Is there a father figure, like maybe your dad she has a relationship with? Try to have the male figure be there for her a little more. Maybe Grandpa can call and ask about the test yesterday or the sciience fair, whatever.
A young girls' self esteem is gained through her father.
You did nothing wrong.
Big hugs M. to you and your precious young lady.

I don't have any personal experience with this with my own children. I did have a friend in school when I was about 14 that had tried it several times. We talked and talked about it and there wasn't anything at all that I could say to make her feel better. She finally did it when she was about 36 or so. We had lost touch by then.

Just keep praying and seeking all the help you possibly can. You are not a bad mom.

Hi. Just because our kids grow automatically, we take it for granted that our relationships with them grow right alongside with their size. Wrong. I attempted suicide in my early 20s; just thought no one loved me...including my mom. Really, all that is needed from you is to show her you love her. Ask her when she feels loved....when she recieves a gift, or a hug (touch ie: brush her hair or backrub), or quality time, or praise, or being served by you. Those are the 5 love languages and we all have a favorite. Ask her which is her favorite and shower her with it. She'll be a new girl. Full of love to give to others and a new love for life. Mom's have a job.....our kids need to know that we love them and it is up to us (the more mature ones), to develop the relationship, and that is a job! Relationships don't automatically grow like our kids bodies, that is for sure.

You're not a bad mom! This is not your fault.

It's good you are bringing her to a counselor. Be vigilant though and try to discern if the counselor is a good match. If your daughter finds her good the sessions helpful and wants to see her, then great, but if she says things to indicate that it's not helping for some reason, you may need to try other counselors to find the best match. Just something to keep in mind, because I think you want to find someone your daughter feels really good about seeing, not someone she just puts up with.

There are a lot of books out there that might be helpful. You might ask the counselor for suggestions, or search on teens and suicide, but one I know offhand is Surviving Ophelia.

I might also think about talking with a counselor yourself. It might help you better understand what the dynamics in your family are, how they play into your daughter's psyche, and how you can better handle the situation.

Finally, does the counselor think there is reason to think about any problems that might require medication? I''m not a big fan of that route, but if there is any problem like bipolar disorder or something, medicine could be a really important factor to consider.

Good luck and take care.

I have not been in your shoes but have dealt with my father who talked about taking his own life b/c it would not matter if he was gone. He was finally diagnosed with depression. Once he started taking his meds to correct the imbalance he was much better. If he goes off the meds he is almost unbearable. Have you thought of having her see a dr. to determine if she has depression or something else? If not I would suggest doing tht also. You are doing what you can by praying. I will pray for you and your family. God Bless!

I am a school counselor & I know the worst mom in the world would not seek advice, prayer, & counsel to help their child & family get through this. That's what great moms do. I am not sure what circumstances contributed to your child feeling she was in a hopeless situation, but her life has been spared for a reason. Build on that hope & help her to address those past circumstances. At the same time, work with her counselor to find ways to improve communication between the 2 of u & coping skills so that this does not happen again. Continue your faith & action steps to providing your child with the tools she needs to be successful.

Best wishes through your journey.

my cousins daughter did the same thing. what she did was just watch her closely

P.,
I'm so sorry for you and your daughter. Another poster is right - you wouldn't be here asking for advice, praying, etc if you were the "worst mother in the world".
Here is a website you may already be familiar with: http://www.suicide.org/support-groups/north-carolina-suic...

Although the "survivors of suicide" groups are often for family members whose children have succeeded, if I were you, I'd give a call to one of the groups (another W-S group here: http://wakeforestsos.webs.com/) just to talk to them. I know there are plenty of other parents dealing with suicidal children (I have a friend who's dealing with it right now, for instance), and it would probably be very helpful for you to talk to them.

Having a suicidal teen at home has got to be one of the most stressful things - you feel as if you are on red alert 24/7. But there is no way you can be with her and protect every moment of the day - it wouldn't be good for her even if you could. Please do continue to seek help, both for her, and for yourself. My friends who know me as anti-meds would laugh if they heard me tell you that if things don't get drastically better very soon, please consider taking her to an actual psychiatrist (not pyschologist ). Even if you just go to gather info, and to rule things out. Imho, best to have covered all the bases.

I've suffered from clinical depression for most of my life. From that perspective, I can tell you that I firmly believed that the world (incl. loved ones) would be better off without me. No amount of rationalization helped, because that's just it - suicidality is IRrational. What I mean is, even if you were Mary & Mother Teresa combined, - even that perfect parenting couldn't necessarily keep your daughter out of this situation.

On the other hand, had I had someone advocating for me when I was young and telling me they loved me and would try to help even if they didn't know how, it would have helped a lot.

Just as living with teenagers can be exhausting, so that exhaustion can increase when you're caring for one with chronic illness (in this case, I'm assuming that your daughter is clinically depressed - pardon me if I'm wrong). Be as gentle with yourself as you are with her, and love yourself as much, too. You definitely are not alone, and by talking about it, you help to take some of the shame out of suicide and depression. Thank you for that.

Blessings and hugs........

Oh my gosh! That is horrible and SO serious! I would try a licensed psychiatrist as well as the Christian counselor. I would also spend every last minute possible with her. You did not tell us the reason she attempted this but whatever it is, focus all your energy on that! 12 yrs old is too young to even know what depression is....whatever the reason is, get to the core of it. No matter what it takes, you do it. I don't think Church or Christian counseling is enough for a 12 yr old. Please ask us if you need more support and give us more details so we may help you better. Good luck.

Oh my gosh- I am so sorry. I can't even imagine how difficult this must be for you.

You did the right thing by getting her into see a counselor. you are not the only mom that has had a teen try this. however dont let the christian counselor say that all she has to do is listen to god ect. she needs real help as long as hes providing that great otherwise get her to a real therapist!

I have never gone through went you are going through since my children are still fairly young. However, I attempted suicide when I was your daughters age. I obviously don't know her exact situation but I will give you advice from the other side of the fence. Make sure the counselor you and her are seeing is a good match. I went through a few and they didn't help because they weren't a good match for me. It isn't always about you as a parent. I know that it is difficult to understand I put my parents through it for years I broke their hearts. but it was never about them as parents it was about me and my own insecurities that I had to work through with a counselor. I will also tell you to get a counselor for yourself and one for you and your daughter/whole family. Good luck and never stop praying.