Having a Hard Time Adjusting to Being a Single Mom

Hi J....I also am recently going thru a Divorce...I have 3 Children who live with him for now...I know its hard but trust me it does get better...If you need someone to talk to You can always talk to me If you have messenger My screen name is stuck_in_wisconsin2005

I have always been a single mom. My daughters dad decided that the family life was too much for him to tolerate and so I have been raising my daughter alone since she was born. I tried to make ammends with her dad but it did not work. Single parenting has it's days when it will feel like you are drowning and days when you will feel like the sun is shining directly on you, but it is a preocess. You have to be willing to learn and adapt. It gets better but not easier. You have to be willing to be the mother, father, friend, disciplinarian, and whatever else this child needs. I am so very for your initial loss, but this is a chance to give all of that love to your daughter and nurture her and watch her grow. If you need a friend, just e-mail me back.

I've been a single mom since my daughter was 6 weeks old. All her dad and I did was fight too and it erupted to domestic violence. It's really hard I won't lie but it definately get's easier and easier. I have my hard days or my depressed days. But I'm super super close with my daughter because it's ALWAYS just been the two of us. I'm proud to say she's never seen mommy and daddy fight (can't remember something as a newborn) and never seen anything physical. My daughter doesn't know violence and has very stable life with me. I've been her solid rock. I was with her dad for years before we had her so I still think the what if's and think about how things would have been if we had stayed a family. The happy thoughts soon go away as I think gosh my daughter would have seen so many bad things if we had stayed together. We just fought to much and it got physical and overboard. We were highschool sweethears and by 21 we had just grown to much apart. It's the hardest in the beginning it's like a grieving period after time it really gets easier. There are many plus's to being a single parent. You kinda become the "favorite" parent. You usually make most or all decisions. You raise your child how YOU want to raise them. Good Luck things will get better!

J.-
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your daughter, and the difficult times you are facing. I am married, but my huband and I have our share of difficulties. I know I am not in your particular situation but if you would like to talk email me at ____@____.com and I can give you my contact information.

N.

Hi,
I was a single mom for many, many years. It is a struggle but remember that you made the right choice, its not good to raise a child in the middle of a war, so to say, with all the fighting. So remind yourself that you made a good choice. Maybe you 2 could get into counseling, learn how to work thru the issues. I hope that he is there for your daughter, as well as for you. You still need to be able to get out and have fun!! Go for coffee, or out with friends for a night! Enjoy your freedom of being single! It does have its perks as well!!
This is your time to discover who you are and what you need!

Hi J.

I am so proud of you for making that first leap and asking others for help! I am not a single parent but grew up in a single parent home and we had it very rough. I am trying to change that for my children just recently my aunt got divored after 31 years of marriage and was a house wife like me and now has no job no friends nothing since her whole life was her husband and friends.It has made me want to change me so I can support my family incase if something were to happen. I am a lia sophia Jewelry advisor and make good money and still stay at home with my children and best of all I have a supportive group through lia sophia and get to meet new people every week through shows! For the fist time in my life I feel like I am going to be able to support myself and my children and have a supportive group of friends to help me. I am having about 4-6 shows a month and at the very least I take home $150 from each show that goes in my pocket also I didn't have any money to by the $149dollar kit and my manager paid for some of it and she takes payments and she has also given me alot of free things to get me off to a good start and I could get that for you. I feel as if you need a fresh start and I was able to find it and want everyone I know to just take a look at the business because it is life changing!!! If this is somthing you are not interested in that is fine to I am still here to talk as a friend!! My email is ____@____.com or call me at home my number is ###-###-#### I live in South Milwaukee. Have a good day and keep your chin up you will make it!!

A. David

Dear J.,

My name is S., and I too, am a 23 year old single mother. Yes, it's hard, and I too went through the period where I missed being a family with my children's father. We were married for 4 years, and our divorce was finalized in May. I know what you are going through, I struggle every day to make ends meet, and was very depressed for a while after I left my ex-husband. Then I met a friend, yes it was a guy, but besides the companionship, he reminded me what it was like to be me again, a part of myself I had lost since being married and having children. We are no longer together, but we are still good friends. In my opinion, having a friend like that is what got me through the rough times of the beginning. I recently started dating someone new, and he is great both to me, and to my children. I have been blessed to have great people in my life. Maybe you and I could talk, and become friends that could also help each other out through the hard times. Being alone is always hard, but harder when children are involved. All I can say is that from my point of view, things seem to get a little easier day by day.

I hope to hear from you.

S.

You're determined, you're intelligent, and you genuinely love your little one- this makes you a great mom, and will help you.
There are times I just want to sit and cry, too. I'm a single mama of a little 12 month old. Her father has decided never to see her or send anything. We all have our different situations, but it comes down to one fact: We love our kids. We look back in a year and don't know how we've just accomplished what we did, but you will get there.
It's silly, but I find comfort in two things, the words of my very best friend,
"You keep going. This isn't about you anymore-it's about your daughter.
You are the only one she has.
You have a beautiful daughter-and in her eyes, you are God."

And there's also a fabulous song by Savage Garden. "Two Beds and a coffee machine." I find my solace in words, and lyrics, and realize- other people have done it... I can too! :)

You are going to be fine. (It's not going to feel like that right now.) You're making good decisions and putting your little one and yourself first. I'm proud of you.
____@____.com

im a single mom of 4.ive been threw what your going threw 3 times!it sucks but you have to be strong for you and your child!its not good to fight in front of your child so this is for the best right now.if you guys are ment to be itll happen.if not youll find that special person you are still young!it hurts trust me but time heals wounds.get a sitter doll yourself up and go out and have some fun.dont try to meet new men right away to make a relationship with.many men are trash out there!just go have fun and meet new friends.life is good just keep your head up.get your hair and nails done so it helps you feel good!i added you cuz i think we have alot in commen.i am 33 this month so i do know what im talking about!your friend A.:)

I'm sorry to hear your loss of your daughter. I'm a single mother of 3 great kids and yes it's hard but it does get easer has time goes on. I did to lost a daughter when I had you 6month old son he was a twin.