Having a New Sibling Soon (#3)...worrying About Jealousy, Rivalry, Etc...

Prepare them. Let them know what's going to happen when baby comes. Let them know you'll be tired and busy, but you'll still love them just the same. Get them excited to be your little helpers. Give them specific, age appropriate things they can do to help (bring diapers, grab a bottle, whatever). If they're helping, they'll feel a sense of pride and accomplishment, and they'll also feel a sense of 'ownership' over their new infant sibling :)

We just brought baby #3 home a week ago, and we have twin boys. So far they are doing great. But, we're trying very hard to not make them feel like the baby comes first. When I nurse her I've explained what I'm doing and how she's eating. If they come to me for help, I try to help them or read a story. My husband spends a ton of time with them after work so I can take care of baby. I make sure I read to them at night and play with them when she's sleeping. So far we haven't seen any jealousy yet, but it's only been a week. I think the most important thing is to make sure he doesn't feel the baby comes before him.

We just had our fourth, and jealousy has not been an issue with any of the children (despite in-laws telling my children "you're in for a big change, you won't be the baby anymore, don't you wish it was a girl instead of a boy," etc...). We tried to involve the children in as many areas as we could- helping us pick a name, baby clothes shopping, setting up his room, etc.. My kids love their new baby brother!
We tried to make his birth, and the change that would happen in our family, a positive thing in every area.Good luck!

I think it's not just personality, although personality can make a difference. A child who wonders, "What's my place in the family now?" may start acting up to call attention to him/herself.

I didn't see much of a jealousy problem when my children were babies, either. But I tried never to let them wonder whether they counted. I found ways not to be too busy for them. I read to them when the new baby was lunching; I explained on their level what I was doing with the baby and why; I had them help with the baby - getting the clean diaper, burp cloth, etc. - talking to the baby (very important help), etc. They and I did a lot of talking back and forth, actually. My bigger children had doll babies of their own (even the boys) to take care of, but they seemed to like the real one better.

I'm right with you. I have a 5 yr old, a 2.5 yr old, and a baby due in August. My 5 yr old is going to do GREAT, he LOVES his little siblings already. But my 2.5 is VERY attached to me and she is NOT going to like this change, I think! I'm hoping that because they have each other and THAT relationship will be the same, that maybe that will help her feel a little more comfortable. Good luck (to both of us!!).

I have three all about 2 years apart. It will be normal for sibling rivalry. You'll need to take it in stride and redirect the behavior when this happens. It's natural. It's an adjustment as a parent to add a new person to the house.. I feel like I constantly say "stop it" "Leave her/him alone" "Keep your hands to yourself" Ugh. With maturity and age it should get better.

While many of the tips in this book are for somewhat older children, you can get a lot of help and practical wisdom from the most excellent book Siblings Without Rivalry, by Faber and Mazlish. It's done wonders for several families I know which were neck-deep in classical sibling issues.