Having a Third Child

I have four children and homeschool the oldest three. They are in 2nd, pre-k 5 and pre-k 3. My oldest two 7 and 5, bicker quite a bit, but nothing major. My third (3) is a girl, and the two older boys don't seem to treat her any differently than they do each other. They all fight like kids do, but they also play together really well. They are no angels, but they do get along pretty well I think. They all dote on my youngest boy (1 1/2), especially my oldest. He helps get him out of bed in the morning, plays with him, hugs him when he cries, and even attempts to change his diaper sometimes. As far as homeschooling, it is a juggling act sometimes. I usually spend a week or two at the beginning of the year just figuring out what will work the best, and sometimes re-evaluate it later. I do all of my 2nd graders language arts type classes first, then while he does the seatwork associated with it, I work with the other two. Although they aren't in the same grade, they are both still learning the basics. I teach them both the same lesson and then they have worksheets for their grade. The younger one just needs more help with her papers. I'm not exactly sure how I'll work it out when the older one starts first grade, I'll probably find a way to mix his and my older son's lessons. After that, the younger two go play and my older one does his math with me, then I do numbers (again the same lesson, different papers) with the younger two. Intermixed with all this, I hold my youngest and give him attention. We do all our work in the kitchen and living room, so he's right there. I have no idea what it will be like when he starts preschool! But it just sort of all works. Also, Fridays are different for us. On Friday we don't do any lessons. I just sit down with each of them one on one and we go over anything they need to. If there isn't much we need to go over, they color and listen to music, even my youngest has fat crayons and can enjoy the fun. The biggest thing I learned though, is to relax. We are not required to keep a tight schedule and the house will not fall apart if it takes us until 5 to get through everything that day. I try to always get started by 9:30 or 10 and be done by 3, but sometimes it just doesn't happen. And the house may end up staying a mess that night, but I learned to relax about it. If everyone is feeling miserable, we can take a day off.

I grew up in a family of 3 and now I have 3 of my own. Yes it is crazy juggling everyone's needs but isn't it like that with one, or two, or ten for that matter? I think you just adjust depending on your situation. One of the biggest reasons that we wanted to have a third was not because we wanted a child for us but because we wanted a sibling for our other two. Of course your time will be spread thin but try not to consider it that someone is missing out. Instead, what you are not able to give your children in terms of time and attention the other children will make up for. So, you gave your first child 100%, you could only give your second child 70% but their older sibling gave them 50%, and so just think what your third child will receive. Plus, what a great life lesson for the older siblings to learn how to care for someone else and give to them. Just think how that will benefit them in their relationships later in life.

I don't homeschool but if you can handle two I am confident that you can handle three!

Let us know what you decide. What an exciting time for you either way. Either you gain peace that your family is complete or you look forward to the joys of another baby. Great luck to you!

We had a third child. Depending on your circumstances, having a third child is a good idea. I love saying I have a family of five. It just has a nice ring to it. I can't say I don't wish I waited longer. I think three years or more is a good gap. But two years and 2 months works, too, when that's what you got. I have a 5 1/2 yr old girl, a 2 1/2 yr old boy, and a 6 month old girl. I also homeschool and although I am sure I will come across problems once they are all homeschooling, I am also aware that nonhomeschooling parents also see problems with getting everyone of their children to their appropriate destinations as far as what's right for what age group and making sure none get left out. So far so good, you just recognize when one child seems to need more attention or more work on a certain area and you fix it. The most important thing is that you do your best and stick together as a family. My oldest daughter is always willing to be understanding and helpful whenever I need her. And my son (only 2 1/2) caught her, just yesturday, as she fell over (learning to sit up on the floor) so she didn't even bump her head. What a gentleman! That's how close (and how cute!) they are! Enjoy your family. And God bless you.

Hi Giselle,

I have 3 children ages 8, 5, and the baby is just a couple days from 19 months. My first born was 2 1/2 when my second daughter was born. My daughters were 6 1/2 and 3 1/2 when baby number 3 was born. My oldest daugther acts like a mommy to her baby brother. It's truly a sight to watch. With my second daughter, well, she picks on the baby. Honestly, I think the age difference between my children is ideal...at least for our family it is perfect. I never doubted that I wanted 3 children so it was just a matter of deciding how much of a gap I wanted to deal with. I certainly didn't want 2 children in diapers so I made sure my daughters were potty trained before having the next child. I also breastfed each of my daughters so it was equally important for them to self wean way before the second and third child came along. I understand you wanting to have equal time with each of them. Unfortunately, you cannot spend equal time with each child. That is not to say that one child will be left out. That is not what I'm implying. However, you need to consider that as your oldest one gets older, he will become more independent and won't need you as much as the younger ones. But with his age will come his wanting to help you with his siblings...and this a wonderful thing for you. I would have to say that if you are apprehensive about having another child, it's probably something you should really take your time exploring, thinking about, etc.

Although I don't have a specific answer for you I' m glad I read your post because I will start homeschooling my oldest (8Y) next year and I have a toddler at home too. I have been thinking about adding a third child when our toddler is a little older and I often wonder if I will have time to teach them all. so far I've done some practice lessons and I love it! my youngest plays with baby toys and blocks etc and I can concentrate on my oldest endless questions, sometimes I wonder if I will be able to finish a chapter LOL!
we have a great dynamic but the longing for a third child is still there, I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle them but in my heart I know I things just fall into place after a baby arrives.
I'm sure you will tweek and adjust your routine but in the end I think it will be sooo worth it, children are such a gift and also can you imagine how fun those family reunions will be 15-20 years from now! I just love big families and if I could I would have had my third and fourth by now, money is our biggest issue,
the best of luck to you and your family,

Hi G.

I have two girls 7 and 3 and am expecting a boy due in May. I'm about to see how the 3 years spacing works but I can tell you that the 4 years between 1 and 2 was great. My oldest was my little helper with her little sister and both girls are thrilled about the upcoming arrival of their baby brother. I do not home school but I have had the experience of having 3 children because during all school breaks and over the entire summer I have my 7 yr old niece with me and on several weekends as well. They all play well together. They have their moments of fighting but for the most part the love each other fiercly. I think that spacing 3 years or more may me wise. I am the youngest of 3 myself and My older sister and I are exactly 2 yrs and 2 days apart and we fought like crazy until she graduated from high school. I think that the best advice I can give you though is to just go with your heart!!

I'm a homeschooling mom of 3, aged 9, 7, and 5. The cool thing about homeschooling from the start is that you get to grow into that intimidating-looking schedule. It doesn't get dumped on you all at once! But there's no doubt that it takes time. We school all year round, so that we only have to school 3 days a week, and can take breaks when we want. I go from 9-1 or 2, with a break for lunch. I think the hardest part for me is not having time to myself.

Having our third child was a joy and a challenge. He was a difficult baby, a difficult toddler, and now a 5 year old who is into everything! Trust me, you won't have enough time, you'll always feel like there were more creative, fun things you could have done if you had the time or energy. You just do the best you can and enjoy what you've accomplished.

My 3 are each two years apart. How do they get along? My oldest mothered the youngest. Now she thinks he's mostly annoying, but sometimes cute. My middle daughter first played with her older sister, but now plays a lot with her younger brother. Like all kids, they alternately love and hate each other. I have learned that you can treat your little ones equally, but their personalities have a huge impact on how they interact. You do the best you can, but personalities can mess up your best intentions.

I sometimes wonder what our life would be like with only two, but my kids are great. They love each other. They are learning well. I have learned an immense amount from my experience with my difficult son, and been quite humbled. I wouldn't trade it for anything! God has a good plan--much better than mine.

E. J, married for 19 years

Hi G.. I have 3 kiddos. Ages 7, 9 and 12. I also home school. We went from being a public school family to having them all three home. I can tell you that after I actually got comfortable with the whole concept and stopped yanking my hair out with worry that I was doing it wrong, it has been amazing. My older ones help the youngest while the youngest brings in her vibrant thought on everything.

My 3 each have their own personality with their own strengths and weaknesses. I encourage them each to be their own person and do their own thing. The answer for us was to find things that we all enjoyed. Whether it be as a spectator/cheerleader or a participant. Each job is important to our family. We also have activities that we do as a family. All 5 of us.

The best advice I can give you...if you are considering adding to your family, don't let anyone tell you how hard it is. Having 3 is no more difficult than having 1...or 10. Just be a family, respect each other and enjoy your life.

Hope this helps. Best of luck to you and your crew.
S.