He Won't Sleep in His Own Bed!!!!

Updated on January 25, 2007
E.C. asks from Tempe, AZ
7 answers

I have a problem. I have a 2 and 1/2 yr old and he insists on sleeping with us. We started sleeping on a futon matress in his room (1st mistake) because our bed deffinately needed to be changed. Well now that we r going back to our bed he refuses to stay in his bed. Last night we were in our bed and was able to sleep in his bed but when he woke up at 4 in the morning and relized neither of us were there he decided he would wonder the house then not go to bed until I was in there with him. It took about an hour to get him to stay in his bed but I ended up falling asleep with him. It is really h*** o* us because by the time he dose fall asleep and doesn't realize we aren't there we are all tired out and have no alone time. What can I do to keep him from going to our room?

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J.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Same problem ahead here!!! Our son is 22 months and has slept with us since birth.(Mistake) We love it but now its getting to were its not our room now. He sleeps on his own fine but not at night. We think this may work maybe even for you. I am getting him a cool bed, rearranged his room with cool lights and fun stuff and I am trying to make a big deal of how cool it is to sleep in here. I am going to try laying with him till he falls asleep and then getting up and leaving, put up the gate so he cant leave his room. If he crys out in the night i will simply put him back to bed and calm him down then leave again. I hope it works. Thats what everyone told me to do so I geuss we shall see. Maybe it just takes a few sleepless nights to get there,

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L.M.

answers from Phoenix on

Neither will mine. But if he passes out early, we put him in his own room and sometimes he stays there the whole night. He sleeps with me because it makes him feel comfortable. Is your son getting nightmares a lot. Mine did from the time he was 18 months to 2.5. It does seem though that if I feed him more carbs at night, no sugar and no drinks then he sleeps thru the night better.

You said your son is with a babysitter during the day. Sounds like he wants to be with you all night. Does he have a teddy bear or something brave other than you to sleep with? Mine tends to sleep better without the nightight. I think nightlight gives shadows.

Good Luck!

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V.M.

answers from Phoenix on

Sorry to hear about that. My son just turned 2 in December. My husband loves to cuddle with his son I on the other hand prefer to sleep in my own bed without any childern. We bought our son a toddle bed. I did a couple of things to help make this transition easy for my son.

I first bought bedding that he would enjoy. (Thomas the Train)Then I set up a routine. I would give him a bath, make sure that he brushes his teeth, have him choose a book that he wants me to read. We go into his room and he lies in his bed. I play a cd that contains soft music. I read him his book. There are nights that he doesn't fall asleep before I finish the book; Those nights I ensure my son that I will be in his sisters room or in my room so that he knows that I am close by. I also check up on him, this ensures that he knows that I am near. I haven't had any problems since. The best thing is to be consistant.

Hopes this helps.
V.

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R.M.

answers from Phoenix on

I feel for you. I have many friends who have this problem. Unfortunately, its a learned habit that is hard to break, mostly because it's heartbreaking and you are sleep deprived and will do anything in the middle of the night just to get back to sleep. My advice is stay strong and stick to a strict routine. The stricter you are the faster the habit will break. It will be hard. Two year olds can be very stubborn and you are going to want to do anything just to go back to sleep. Plan a routine you and your husband can stick to. Example:
7:30 pm--get ready for bed,brush teeth, book, PJs, etc.
8:00 pm--lights out and leave the room ( put him back in bed every time he gets up, lay down with him if you have to, but leave before he falls asleep so that he learns to fall asleep by himself. Tell him you will check on him in 5 minutes. Check on him every 5 minutes, so he knows you are still there for him. He is not too little to understand comments like, "You are a big boy now, you must sleep in your own bed, Mommy and Daddy will be in the other room".
Middle of the Night Wakings-- Follow the same procedure as above, putting him back to bed, maybe laying with him for 5 minutes and being firm that he needs to sleep in his own bed. Then tell him you will be back to check on him. You will be tempted to go back to sleep but don't. Make sure you go in and check on him every so often until he falls asleep. This reassurance allows him to know that you are still there. Try hard to not to get angry and tell him how much you love him.
This will take several days before he starts to understand what is expected of him. There will be tears, for him and possibly you, but stick with it. If you break the habit now, you and your husband will be back in your own bed for some quality time in a couple of weeks. My philosophy with toddlers bad habits, is put up with a terrible couple of weeks changing the habbit and you will give yourself a gift of many peaceful weeks in the future.
I hope this helps. It's only advice, but I've seen friends do it and have done a little of it myslef.
Good Luck!

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A.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I will just tell you what we did with our son. He is now 3 1/2 and sleeps in his bed. At 2 1/2 we moved to this apartment but stayed with my BF sister a few months where we all had to sleep in the same room. So we got him a toddler bed and let him play in it. I explained to him this was his new big boy bed and this is where he sleeps now. Everytime he got up I simply put him back. I explained to him everytime he got up that this is his new bed. It was very hard. First few nights are the worse. The first night after a few hours we allowed him to sleep with us and everynight we shortened that time. Within 2 weeks we had him pretty much in his bed. For us we had to be conssitant and its hard cause you are tired. Just thought I'd share and maybe it may help.

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J.J.

answers from Phoenix on

We had the same situation with our son. We would have to sleep in bed with him from a little over 1 year old (in a toddler bed) and the mattress was HORRIBLE that when we went to get up, the bed would make rustling noises and he would wake up. We spoke to our pediatrician about it and he suggested Melatonin. We were already giving him medications in the day and so it just started to be part of his daily routine to give him the Melatonin at dinner time and he would fall asleep on his own and sleep in his own bed. We used 1/2 of a 3mg tablet which we ground into a powder and put into his strawberry applesauce. He would even watch us as we did it and it sometimes took a couple spoonfulls, but it helped get his body in order. He was not on it for one year when he dumped the remaining pills (there were only 5 or 6 in the bottle) uncrushed into his applesauce. At that point, we stopped giving it to him and he sleeps on his own now. As I look back on it now, I realize that my little boy did not sleep through the night (save growth spurts) for the first 4 years! He would always wake up and get into stuff in the kitchen, usually it was grainy stuff like flour or sugar or cereal. There was another time he broke a dozen eggs on the carpet. I am very thankful for the Melatonin and it is not addictive. My son had no side effects at all because it is a natural substance. Let us know what you do!

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S.W.

answers from Phoenix on

I had the same problem with my daughter and she slept with me until she was about six years old. This is a problem because I began to let her sleep with me at a young age. Me and my fiance came up with a idea to shut my bedroom door at night and this helped and we also got her a night light in her room so she was not afraid. And now she sometimes gets in my bed but you have to move them out once you notice they have been in the bed with you. But shutting the door worked for me and I think the night light helped also.

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