So my 4 year old who is now in pre-k spent a little over a year doing speech therapy with Any Baby Can when he was 18 months to 3 years old, at the recomendation of several moms on here. I wrote in frustrated because of the screaming and shrieking that had become his common method of communication. He started picking up a vocabulary at a rapid pace and by the time he graduated from their program he wouldn't have qualified for another one. He is super smart ( I know I am the mom, but he is) and the kid can hear a candy wrapper from a mile away, but I am becoming more and more aware that he his speech isn't up to par. He pronounces things like with as wif and his R's sound like elmer fudd. I guess I just figured as he got older he would outgrow that. Well recently he failed the hearing test at school and they asked me to take him to an audiologist. They tested him and said that he has some fluid on his ears and it is affecting his hearing a little and put him on Nasonex and scheduled me to come back in March. If there is still fluid then we will discuss tubes at that point. The thing is that since school began, he has not spoken at school. I have tried threatening, bribing, and even stopped making it a big deal for a while,name it and I have tried it. His teacher is sweet and works with him and has found other ways to communicate with him, asking questions in a way that he can point and nod in response. She knows he understands but there are some things that she can not evaluate since he won't talk. He comes home and sings the songs that they learn and talks about everything here. I have worked with him to say bye to her when I pick him up and he will after she isn't looking anymore, after which he buries his head in my shoulder and turns purple. When asked, he says he is shy, but he talks everywhere else. He said once that he didn't want them to hear him like that, so I wonder if he is aware that his speech isn't like everyone else's.When I asked him about that statement he switched it back to the shy excuse. I will say that he rarely talks in Sunday School, in a church we have attended for over 3 years. It wasn't till I picked him up one day and he told me he needed to use the bathroom that they even knew he could talk. So my question is, has anyone out there gone through something like this? Any ideas of how to work with him on the speech, or if that is something that could be because of the fluid. I can't really work with the school in this arena since he won't speak there. Help?!
Selective mutism can become its own self perpetuating cycle. If he has been made aware that his speech is not normal and perhaps been teased by the other kids then he will not talk in front of them. Then he fails to practice his speech and the speech gets worse and the anxiety gets worse. You need to speak up for him with his pediatrician and the school. Intervene now, like you did before.
Good luck!
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I would research and inquire about selective mutism. I would also check his auditory processing ability.
Good luck and hope you can find some real answers for your son.
Ditto to everyone who everyone who said this sounds like a case of selective mutism. The "bad news" is that this really can't be addressed by threatening, bribing, not making a big deal of it -- anything in the standard mom repertoire. It really needs a professional. The good news is that this is treatable. With decent treatment most kids outgrow it, and there are professionals who handle it just about everywhere. BUT, you really need to get on this as soon as you can. The longer it goes untreated, the harder it will be to resolve.
My niece was like this.
At home she talked up a storm - at school she spoke not a single solitary word.
The school initially thought she had a problem, but there was none.
It took her awhile (most of kindergarten), but she eventually opened up and now there's no shutting her up (she's 11 now).
Appeal to his bossy side (every kid has one).
In small groups, put him in charge of telling the others what to do.
Have him repeat the rules to others.
Have him become an expert about something he loves (for years my son was IN LOVE with fire trucks) and have him explain things about it to others.
With my son, every teacher conference after the 1st 10 weeks they'd tell me how quiet he is - needs to contribute more towards the class discussions, etc.
The rest of the year there was no keeping him quiet.
'Wait and see' is a learning style and once they figure out how things work, then they join in.
They look and look and look before they leap.
Give it some time, but I think your son will be fine.
I would talk to the teacher about getting him set up for speech therapy. Here they have to have it done through the school. With my 4yr old who is in it, its one on one. So hopefully over time he will feel comfortable working with the specialist. Depending on how they have it set up, ours told us that she does home visits to work with them if they don't feel comfortable working in the school setting. That could be an option. After being evaluated by a specialist they will be able to tell you if its a problem with his speech or if its caused by the fluid in the ear.
As for the shyness.. he may just not feel comfortable talking in front of alot of people. Hopefully he will out grow it. Maybe if its possible could you go to class with him, having you there as a security he might open up and over time feel comfortable talking with them. Or look into a class that has a smaller number of kids in it ( if that is possible)
I can only comment on the shyness... my extremely outgoing daughter will hide and cry if she has to walk into a room with a crowd of people. I have read that this is called "situational shyness".
I think you're on the right track with the doctors, and I wouldn't push him to talk at school. I think he'll come around eventually. Is this the first year for him at school? Maybe try to set up some play dates with his classmates so he can get in a one on one situation where he might be more relaxed.
My guess is he's doing his best to control his surroundings, which is tough at school when you have to follow so many new rules.
Best of luck.
Does your son attend a public school? If he does, they should offer speech services and should be able to evaluate him. The examples you gave (wif instead of with, and trouble with r's) are normal at that age. It's possible you really have noticed things about his speech that are not normal, but the "th" sound is completely normal through kindergarten, and the r's will usually be corrected in 1st or 2nd grade if they have not developed on their own.
My SIL is a speech therapist in a public school, and I have talked to her many times about both of my boys. My kindergartener is working with a speech therapist on the "th" sound, and my SIL commented that not being about to produce that sound at 5 years old is completely age appropriate. She wishes she had the resources to work with kindergarteners on that sound. Also, my niece received services for the "r" sound when she was in 2nd grade. I believe my SIL would have addressed it sooner, had this niece been her child or a student at her school, but was happy to know the girl was working on the sound.
I wouldn't stress too much about the hearing test. Keep in mind that school routinely screen for hearing, but that it is just that, a screening. Many things can cause the child to fail the screening. It could have been fluid in the ears, he could have been thinking about something else, he might not have been feeling well, maybe there were other things going on in the room. That is the reason they suggested he see an audiologist. Failing the screening test could mean something and it could mean nothing. They are simply suggesting you have it checked just to be safe.
Talk to the school about speech services, and talk to your ped about your concerns. In the meantime, I would just try and relax and listen to what he's telling you. Support and encourage him at school. He will get more comfortable in time.
Now that he is over 3 he is eligable for "free" speech therapy thru the local school district. If he is in preschool or at home they will go to where he is a do the therapy. Maybe he is embarrassed about his speech because people haven't understood him in the past. The quicker you can get this resolved the better for him.
Good luck
DH
Can you go back to the ENT before March? I wouldn't wait to see if he needs tubes.
His self-confidence is obviously a problem at this point. Why did he stop speech therapy? Can you have him evaluated again?
