Hekp, My 7 Year Old Son Feels Embaressed to Poop at School

When you said your son comes home with poop in his underwear, it made me wonder if he has encopresis. Read a little about it here & see if it sounds like your son. http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/sick/encopresis.html
You should also talk to your pediatrician to see if he/she can figure out if anything else could be going on.

As a teacher I have had many students (all boys) who had this issue. After much probing my me and the parents we found out that the other boys were opening the stall door on them or looking over or under the stall walls. In some bathrooms the locks on the doors are removed or the doors altogether. If I was a 7 yr old I would not like the door to be opened on me...heck, I would not like it opened now. Some of the other boys could be giving him a hard time. This is how I handled it at school. I made sure that he was always one of the last two or three boys to go in (I never let the whole class go in at once). Before he went in I would make sure there were only one or two boys left. Then when all the boys had come out of the bathroom except him we would leave so he would have the bathroom to himself. This usually solved the problem. Or I would let him go to the bathroom by himself. He never took advantage of it b/c he had to go to the bathroom.
As a school kid I never used the school bathrooms. The rough croud would hang out in there so I would just hold it till I got home. By the time I got home I was running to the bathroom. It was a phase that lasted until high school. I hope you and the teacher find a solution.

Dear Ellen,
Our elementary schoolyard is adjacent to our backyard. Luckily, our house has three bathrooms. When all three of my children attended the school at the same time, the after-school rush to poop in a home bathroom would otherwise have been devastating. LOL.
Unfortunately, children can be very mean to each other. Smells and noises coming from the almost public bathrooms at schools make it difficult for lots of kids to poop at school. The kids are also aware of each other's length of time in the bathroom.
When I worked at a camp last summer, I saw that overnight camps create an even more awkward dilemma - there was even less privacy. Constipation was a big problem!

I think the "fix" is to regulate his poop to occur early in the morning before he goes to school. Luckily, you've got Christmas vacation coming up within which you might be able to reprogram his bowels.
Count his fiber intake. I think we are supposed to take in at least 20 grams of fiber daily. Increase his daily fluid intake to 8 glasses of water a day minimum. Then, wake him up at 6:00 am and feed him breakfast (with lots of fiber and liquid). Give him a book to read while sitting on the commode.
At first, you may want to add a just a touch (1/4-1/3 capful) of Miralax/Glycolax to a glass of liquid before he goes to sleep the night before.
I'd be surprised if you don't have the poop out of him by 7:00 am every morning. If not, you may have to give him his breakfast earlier (at 5:00 am, for instance) and add a couple of jumping jacks.=)
Actually, we're healthiest when we poop after every meal. These poops are more efficient and less smelly, also.
During his school vacation, the two of you can then return to sleep. When school resumes, you've got his body regulated to poop before he leaves for school.
Of course, this means that he'll probably have to go to sleep earlier on school nights.
I would also give the pediatrician's office a call and ask for their suggestions.
Good luck!

I only have a small piece of advice but may I relate an experience? I worked with a set of twin boys in college who would ONLY use their home toilet. Meaning.....any time they had to go they would leave work without permission, drive home, use the facilities, and drive back, even though the public restrooms available were kept spotless - often by them - as we the owner of the company was literally OCD about cleaning. Cleanest restaurant I've ever worked in, to be quite honest. They're usually filthy places. The owner liked them so it didn't affect their jobs, but imagine such a mental handicap as an adult that you leave for 30 minutes every four hours just to use the restroom at home!

My only advice is speak with the teacher and notify her of this problem and ask that she make sure someone work with him at school. You may want to speak with the school counselor, psychiatrist, or nurse if the teacher is unable to help you.

Good luck!

If he is getting constipated, it's not from avoiding pooping at school. I have a 7 yr old son who has similar issues.

Part of his problem at school may be the time it takes for him to go, or it might be a problem with getting clean enough. Increasing his fiber intake will help with both of those issues. Lots of foods are high in fiber - whole grain reads and cereals, pears, lima beans, etc. You can find a comprehensive list online by searching for "high fiber foods". I also give my son a chewable fiber tablet (cant remember brand name, but will check when I get home in case you are interested). They have an orangy flavor and my son loves them - treats them practically like candy.
Fiber will make his bowel movements a little looser - so it wont take as long to go and there wont be an issue with sticky residue.

If his issue is the public bathroom, then you may want him to speak with the school counselor or take him privately to one. This can become a life-long issue and does affect adult life so changing his mindset while he is young is important.

I let my sons teachers know about my son's recluctance to go to the bathroom at school. We keep a few wipes in his backpack just in case and the teacher knows that he sometimes needs a few extra minutes in the bathroom after the other kids have left it. (They go as a class).

good luck with however you end up handling this issue.

My 4 yr old is the same way. He's been on a fiber routine for the last year so he doesn't get constipated. He will only poop at home, comes home with poop in his pants, and use to get constipated. Now when he gets home we put a dose of metamucil on his juice. He usually poops soon after or definitely by the time we leave in the morning. He doesn't scream and cry because it hurts anymore. His poops are still HUGE but passable.

Hi Ellen,

This is probably an emotional issue than can be corrected with a diet change. EVERYONE should poop about an hour after EVERY meal. Pooping should not take a long time. There is no need for constipation if his nutrition and diet is right. Fiber is of the utmost importance and if this is happening he doesn't have enough in his regular diet. In addition to that, if he hasn't had fiber on a regular basis then his waste has built up in his system and is clogging it and the nutrition that he is "eating" is not being absorbed, which causes other problems. Blunt question: How big is his poop? Is it small strands or is it huge? If it's small then he has a problem and it will only get worse.

Please, please, please get in touch with me and I can give you some detailed ideas. I was a child who had issues like this and they can be resolved easily! If they are not resolved now the problems don't just add up, they multiply.

God bless,

M.
www.squidoo.com/ifyourbabycouldtalk

We all know people who feel better using the bathroom at home instead of a public one.

Try and make sure he is eating fiber and drinking enough water. You might consult your Dr. to see if they can help him.

I don't think he is difficult just uncomfortable?

give him some stool softener. this will help him to go faster and easier at school. you could write a note to the school telling him that if he needs to go to the bath room to let him go. if its during class their wont be as many kids in there if any. ask his doc about what dose of stool softener but it should help! im a home pooper too. i just cant do it in public so i feel his pain lol

Hi Ellen ,

I think this is completely normal behavior first off - both of my kids refuse to use the bathroom to poop in at school - my daughter is 9 and my son 7 - they say that there is poop smeared everywhere in the stalls - and I am sure they are correct - I clean houses and have seen the poop smears on the walls, toilet seats, etc as kids try to learn to wipe themselves and get it on their hands and then do the ewww yuck - and wipe it on the nearest available clean surface - hey it's only human to do that, at least I think ( when you are that young)
anyway, I think you can speak to him normally about the issue - ask why he's embarrassed - I know my son still feels like he requires my help to get it all wiped properly - perhaps its his own laziness, I don't know - but I can relate to his not wanting to use the school bathroom .
My advise is to talk with him about it - why is it embarrassing to him? Perhaps you could get him up a bit earlier to try to go before school or be sure to come right home after school to be able to go. Offer prizes if he comes home with no poop in the boxers - I mean, it has to be fairly embarrassing for him if his friends at school smell what is going on - or explain how unsanitary it is to have the poop in the pants, etc - def. don't make a big deal out of it, but make sure he knows how important it is to go when he gets home or perhaps send him to school with some wipes in his pocket - to wipe and throw in the toilet - I know my kids also hate the hard toilet paper at school 0- they say it makes their butts hurt ??? so it could be one of many things and embarrassed is the word he uses to convey his feelings of it.

None of my children poop at school either. My 9 year old will usually come home and go out to run around and play right away. Within 1/2 hour he is ready to come in and go to the bathroom. A little exercise and a glass of water might help before he tries to go at home. Has this been a consistent problem? It seems that my kids body has now adjusted to this schedule.

You might just try getting him up in the morning and having him sit on the pot before going to school. This might help him to train his bowels to go in the morning and then he might be able to make it thru the school hours without having to go. This would also help with the holding it issue.

My son does suffer from encopresis, however we have had much success with the going in the morning plan. It was suggested by his doctor and seems to be a good plan. He just knows he has to go first thing in the morning and then as soon as he gets home from school he sits again for 10 minutes or until he feels he has done all he needs to "do". He is 9 and we have been battling this for several years. I don't want you to be overwhelmed with the possibilities, but try this and just watch if it continues, you may want to have him checked by a gastroenterologist.

It may just be simple, so I don't want to alarm you. Just keep an eye on it. Not all children that go through this have a "major" problem.

My suggestion is to make sure he gets up with plenty of time in the morning to eat a good, unhurried breakfast, dress, brush teeth and go for a walk. That last one... "go for a walk" is very important for some people.

If he has lots of fiber and water in his diet (especially a good meal with veggies the night before) within an hour after eating a good big healthy breakfast he should be pooping (usually it is sooner, especially with walking).

I agree... it is miserable if we don't poop before we leave the house in the morning.

-J.

I have 2 14 yr old girls that wont even pee at school. Thank God we have 2 bathrooms at home because as soon as they are off the bus they are both occupied. They say it is because the bathrooms are gross at school and they use them only when they absolutely can not wait any longer. I think it is because of body functions. I think that when they get older body functions become less embarrassing. I know that I sent them to camp this past summer for a week. They both told me it was 3 days before they finally cut lose and pooped. There were 4 of them that finally got the fact that everyone poops. I wouldnt read too much into it. Kids have it tuff with other kids making fun of them. It is a phase.