Help - Newport News,VA

Updated on January 31, 2008
A.G. asks from Newport News, VA
26 answers

I am trying desperately to potty train my daughter. She is two years old. I got her some regular underware so she could feel the difference of having on a pull up thinking it would help. In the morning I take her to the bathroom so she can go. And when she does I praise by giving her hugs and kisses. After that I put on her underware and everything seems fine. After she eats breakfast I take her back to the bathroom so she can go again. But regardless if she goes or not about 5-10 minutes later she has wet her pants. She also goes in another area of the house to bend down and go to the bathroom so I won't see her. Later that day I end up stepping in it by mistake and that's how I find out. So I try to put her potty in the spot she sneaks and goes to the bathroom and it still doesn't work. Now I am just letting her sit on the potty all day until she goes and even after. I need help.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Has she shown interest in using the potty? You might want to wait until it is her idea... you might be forcing her too early. Two is a bit young if it isn't what she wants to do. Best of luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.R.

answers from Charlottesville on

Bottom line......she just doesn't sound ready. Maybe you could try transitioning to Pull-ups to avoid the floor accidents, but if she is hiding out to go then it sound slike she just isn't ready yet, and forcing the issue will only make it worse. I know the expense of it can be draining, but don't push too hard. It will only exacerbate the problem.

Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

F.B.

answers from Charlottesville on

I know this isn't what any parent wants to hear, but she's not ready. My best suggestion, trust me it works, leave her alone, leave her in pullups and if she goes potty in the potty, give her A LOT of praise, ignore it when she doesn't. You may also want to try a potty seat in a room where she plays or watches tv. My son had one and one day sat on it and watch a little of his favorite cartoon deigo...it was just the start we needed. I never once asked him or pushed him to go, just was really excited when he did and now my 2.5 yr old SON is completely potty trained. Remember every child is different, you can try to let her do it on her own and if she's not ready she won't. But I promise you if you push and she's not ready it will be a long, hard, frustrating battle. Not worth it when they are young for such a small time. Good luck!!

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.Y.

answers from Norfolk on

A.,

I think the majority of mom's who have potty trained a toddler can relate to how important it seems to get through to their child to pee and poop on the potty! However, in the grand scheme of things, just remember that they all come around when they are ready. It sounds like you are putting way too much pressure on your 2 year old and yourself for that matter. Making her sit on the potty all day is a power play and probably won't do anything more than frustrate both of you.

My son was 3 1/2 before he was fully potty trained (don't worry, apparently boys typically take longer than girls do!). My husband and I thought we were going out of our minds! I tried everything from praise to food treats and nothing worked. Finally, I got some great advice from a behavioral therapist. She suggested making a chart where he got a sticker everytime he would pee pee on the potty. He also got an extra special sticker when he would poo poo (which was never). The most important part was I went to the dollar store and bought approx. 10 dollars worth of junk toys. When I knew he needed to poop, I would set several of these toys out in the bathroom on a step stool in front of the toilet. I explained to him that he could pick out whichever toy he wanted as a prize when he pooped on the potty. He was forced to look at them while he sat on the toilet. He got so excited about getting a toy (one that he could physically see and not one that he thought we would have to go shopping for at a later date) that he pooped immediately! It worked wonderfully for us and eventually I didn't have to bribe him with toys anymore. I hope this helps you. If you have any questions about what I've shared, please let me know!

L. Y.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.K.

answers from Washington DC on

Your daughter is being very clear about her lack of interest in using a potty right now. Try to relax about your need for her to be "trained" and wait for her to show readiness. You'll be amazed at how fast it goes when she is ready. Follow her cues.

D.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Three is the magic age. In the meantime, you can let her try when she wants. Also, letting her wear undies under a pull-up at home is a good way to help her feel the yuck when she wets without trashing her whole outfit and your home.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.C.

answers from Washington DC on

it sounds to me like she's not ready. i'd back off and try again in a few months.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Richmond on

I think your daughter might be too young to understand her body. I didn't have any luck potty training my kids until they were 3. When I did, i put a plastic potty in the family area and allowed them to go bottomless. I found as soon as they had on underwear, they were given the feeling as if it was a diaper. it took a few days of running around bottomless and not leaving the house for it to take. If it not working now, I would wait. Your doctor can advise you at the best time to start as well.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from Washington DC on

i went through this forever...maddie is now 5 and finally trained. i started just before she was two and have now decided not to push anything with my second, who is almost two. three is the magic age now. i also had a problem because i let her run around without pants and when she did have underware on she wet them...up till she was a little over 3. good luck, it will happen when she is ready.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.F.

answers from Washington DC on

While some kids are potty trained earlier than others, most seem to 'click' with it by age 3. We started at 2yrs with my DD and 3 days after she turned 3 it 'clicked' and she never went back (of course she had occasional accidents, but infrequently.)

I would strongly recommend that you relax and give your little one lots of latitude on this. It seems like she is making it perfectly clear that she doesn't want to use the potty - push too much longer and you may end up with it being a battle of wills instead of just a learning process.

Believe me - you do *not* want that! My brother's oldest was not potty trained until she was 5 (and was still having accidents occasionally) because it became a battle of wills between her and her parents. They finally had to bribe her (diamond earrings 'just like Moms') in order to get that far by her 5th birthday (the earrings became a birthday present, but she told everyone that when she showed them off that they were in return for using the potty.)

In the meantime, I would continue to have her sit on the potty as part of her morning and evening routines and put her in pull-ups (the panties underneath is a good idea) for the day. Try to make going on the potty something she *wants* to do (to be like you or because it is fun, or she gets a reward), rather than something she *has* to do or you will be upset/disappointed/angry.

As one other posted said - don't worry, she won't be wearing diapers to college! Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.P.

answers from Washington DC on

It sounds to me that you are rushing it just a bit, like she may not be ready. My daughter, who is now three, had NO interest until just before she turned three. Yes, some of her friends were being potty trained, and some of those moms LOVED to brag about it, but I was in no rush to be the only one trying when she wasn't interested. Then, when she was ready, it barely took any time. Pooping was hard just because she was afraid of making a mess, but it all worked out. Not many accidents and now has never had an accident at nap or bedtime. When I was trained though, I did give one m&m for pee and 3 m&m's for poops. Sometimes she still asks after a poop for old times sake! It's funnny. Well, good luck and try not to rush her for your sake!!!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I wouldn't worry. I think she just probably isn't quite ready for potty training. Rather than frustrate yourself to death, I would put her back in diapers and try again in another couple of months. Generally speaking, girls are easier to potty train than boys but my son was almost 4 when I finally got him potty trained and he was still wetting his pants well into his 5th year.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.K.

answers from Washington DC on

Relax....she is only 2. She will be potty trained when she is ready. The more you push, the more she will resist!
I definitely learned that the hard way. My daughter was almost 3 before she was completely potty trained.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.M.

answers from Roanoke on

A.,
Is your daughter showing signs she is ready to potty train or is this your schedule? I have 2 boys and also have a daycare in my home for over 3 years. In that time I have learned that children are usually ready to potty train right before or around their 2nd bday and then usually not unitl 3 or 3 1/2 years old...It is almost impossible to "make" a child potty trained when they are not ready. Those two windows show themselves when they talk about going potty. Even if she does go potty sometimes if she's not ready there really is no way to force it. Keep an eye on her signals and see if now is the time or if you need to wait until she is ready. A parent from my daycare ignored the signs at 20 months because she thought it was too young and then for the next year and a half she fought the potty battle. Needless to say that little girl wasn't fully potty trained until after she was 3. Children work on their own schedule. Take it easy on yourself and wait until she's really ready.
Good luck.
Plus you won't have to clean up spot on the carpet! Great bonus. right?
Another tip that worked for my youngest son was not to wear anything. He's a nudest at heart, and he knew if he "went" it would be all over the floor, so he would run to the bathroom to go. My son was potty trained this way in one week of nakedness at 22 months old. This method doesn't work for everyone but it worked for me.
Good Luck
T. M
T. M

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.H.

answers from Richmond on

Hi A.,
My advice is give up. She'll train when she's ready - until then you are just training yourself to put her on the pot every hour on the hour. And you'll have the frustration of cleaning up 'accidents' a lot. Save yourself the headache. Stick with diapers until SHE wants to get rid of them.

D. Mom to three.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.H.

answers from Norfolk on

I feel for you. I had this with 2 of my 4 children. First, let me commend you for doing this at the age of two. Too many times it becomes a more fierce battle when you wait until they are older. So, here is what I did. I cleared my calendar for a week and did nothing else, but potty train. Get a little potty and put it in the bathroom. Then gate off a certain area of the house that you are comfortable staying in for the whole day. Use a timer and set the interval of time that she needs to use the bathroom, like every 5 minutes. Stick to that for an hour. Then move the time up to every 8 minutes and so on. Be sure to give lots of water or watered down juice along with some salty snacks to make sure she will get the feeling of when her bladder needs to be emptied. I used the old fashioned cotton training pants and when they got the hang of it after a few days, they graduated to the underwear. Hang in there, this will pay off big time in just a little while. Be consistent and try not to show frustration--pray for strength and perseverance. Blessings to you.

A little about me: I am a homeschooling SAHM of 1 girl and 3 boys ranging in age from 14-8. I am blessed to have known my husband for the last 30 years-we met in the 6th grade and will be married for 20 years this September. He is active duty Navy.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.L.

answers from Washington DC on

It really doesn't sound like she is ready yet to me. You also don't want to leave her on the potty all the time, she will start to see it as some form of punishment and will not be willing to go to it when it is time to. If I were you, I would just back off for awhile....she will get the hang of it, believe me. My daughter will be 4 next month and she was about 3.5 yr. before she was totally trained. Her pediatrician told me to back off for a bit and not even mention the potty, and sure enough it worked. She now goes pee without even saying anything, I just hear the toilet flush and the water go on for her to wash her hands. Good luck to you guys!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.O.

answers from Washington DC on

If it makes you feel any better, my daughter was almost 3 1/2 before she was trained, after several previous attempts. Unfortunately, they'll do it only when they're ready and not a moment sooner -- UGH!! I was going a bit crazy myself. But desperate times call for desperate measures.

The turning point . . . I pulled out all the stops. I literally drew a chart on back of some cardboard with circles in a row. At the end of the row, I drew a picture of a present. She got to put a sticker on the chart every time she went potty and after XXX number of stickers, she got a present. I made three rows: Row 1: 5 stickers, Row 2: 7 stickers, Row 3: 10 stickers. The presents got bigger as we went along, the last one being a trip to the mall for ice cream and riding the carousel. And yes, I had a clear (so she could se in it) potty jar that had treats in it too. She got one every time she went -- one treat for tinkle, two for tinkle and, well, you know ;-)!

In addition -- and this was the RINGER -- I had a Princess call her every time she went potty. Tinkerbell, Cinderella, Ariel, etc. would call and tell her how proud they were. Now of course this meant the help of family, friends, and many mommy trips outside on my cell phone in the mini van calling her but, again, I was desperate . . . and it worked!! My potty training motto -- WHATEVER WORKS MAN!!

The best of luck to you! Please don't go as crazy as I did ;-)!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.P.

answers from Washington DC on

A.,
What your daughter is doing is so normal. My children, 10, 13 and 16 were all the same way. The best advise is to not get frustrated, no matter how frustrated you may get. She will sense that. It honestly happens when it happens - when she is ready. Their doctor told me... they will not go to Kindergarten in diapers, so relax. It's so true, when you relax, she will relax. We put so much pressure on our children because society dictates things should be a certain way. Bottom line - relax, it will happen and then you can celebrate.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.K.

answers from Washington DC on

She sounds a bit young for potty training. Though girls are supposed to be easier to potty train than boys and to be ready for it earlier, sounds like your daughter is not ready. It will be more frustrating for both of you to push it right now. Take a break, give her some more time. When she's ready it will be a snap!

Best,
T.

D.M.

answers from Norfolk on

I have just finished potty training my little girl.....I have an older boy (9) who potty trained at roughly the same age as her.....just before their 3rd birthday. I was always told that girls are easier...and at first I felt the same way, but it turned out not to be the case for me. My little girl is very stubborn; adorable, but just wants to what she wants to do. She was very interested at first (at 2 years), then showed signs of just not caring towards the end, and I did at one point think "would she ever get it?". Anyhow, the only advice I have is to be patient, consistant, and she WILL get it. It will click, and that will be that. Let her know what you expect (yes, she understands), be very excited when she does go (like super silly excited..... or whatever works for her), don't angry when she has an accident, but don't let think it is okay. And most of all....enjoy it! I try to enjoy even the "not so enjoyable" parts of all of my kids lives. They grow up so fast, and you have to take the time to really have fun, and enjoy them. Time flies by!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

She may not be ready to be potty-trained. While some 2-year-olds use the potty regularly, that doesn't mean that yours is at that point yet. You didn't say what's motivating you to be so desperate, but you're putting a lot of pressure on your daughter and on yourself. Try backing off for a while -- make the potty available to her, but put her back in a diaper or pull-up when she's done so that you're not setting her up for another accident (which has got to be very frustrating for both of you). My experience with two kids has been that you can encourage them, but not force them. They'll do it when they're ready.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.G.

answers from Washington DC on

It would seem that your daughter is not ready to potty train. I understand the desire be rid of the diapers but the way it's going your are training yourself not her. Perhaps you should wait until summer time. I always found it easier to potty train when the weather is warmer and they can run around outside undi-less. I have four kids but only the last one potty trained at 2yrs 8mth, and she trained herself! Dont' worry she won't go to college in a diaper.:)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I am a stay at home mom for 11 years. Iv'e learned that there are 3 things you can't force your kids to do: eat, sleep , and potty train. She's only 2. She'll be ready when she's ready and not a minute before. I waited until my kids showed a big interest before I really started to potty train. It was so much easier than begging them to go. It's her sense of control. Noone walks down the isle in diapers!
A. B.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.N.

answers from Washington DC on

I am a first time Mom with a 21 mnth old girl. I started introducing her to the potty at 18 mnths. She is doing great now and looks like she will be fully trained by two. What I did was just RELAX. I'll give you the advice that other Moms on this site gave me. Do not force the situation. Keep practicing and encouraging her. Do not punish her or become upset when there are accidents. I think that the more stress you put on her will make her regress. Try getting books or DVDs about the potty and make it like a game. Also what I do is when ever I see my baby in the corner about to poop, I rush her to the potty. I also sit on the grown up toilet and pretend to make a poop, and since my baby likes to do what Mommy does, she will also poop. As far as the pee-pee (LOL). I just time the potty usage as best I can for when I think she will want to urinate. And you also have to limit bevearages to only when necessary. The other moms will give you more solid tips, but I can tell you that the potty subject has not been stressfull at all, because there is no pressure there. Also I use Pampers Easy Ups or Pull-Ups instead of big girl panties, because it's less mess. Good Luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

I would relax and put her in pull-ups....if you're forcing it, then it will take twice as long to potty train. It sounds like she isn't ready. Still practice though, sitting on the potty, flushing the toilet...she will get it when she's ready. If you relax on her, I bet she'll want to do it on her own. Good luck

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches