I know you said you don't want to use schedule, routine, etc. to help your baby, but I do not really see a better way. All 3 of my kids, my 2 year old and 1 year old twins were on a sleeping routine, and I believe that is why they sleep so good. If they are not on routine, (and I have never read the book "babywise") they will be tired at different times, and you will have varying sleep patterns with her, even at night. If kids are put on a routine nap/sleep schedule, they tend to start getting tired at exactly that time you are putting them to bed. And by the way, I have never had to rock, sing or whatever to get my kids to sleep..I just lay them down, tuck them in and they are asleep in no time. BUT..one thing I might suggest is reading a book every time before nap/bedtime...this helps them understand when nap & bedtime is going to be. My kids all sleep at right around the same time, and if they don't you can tell, they are very tired because they didn't get their nap in or bedtime when they were supposed to. To me, this eliminates a lot of things, because you always know when your child is either tired, hungry, or not feeling well. My 2 year old takes 1 nap a day now, and the twins still get 2 naps in and at night they all go down and NEVER wake up unless my 2 year old has a bad dream or they are not feeling well. Good luck to you, I wish I could give other advice, but I truly believe that this is the best way to help your daughter sleep better & more like she needs.