HELP, 6 Year Old Throwing Horrible Fits!!

Updated on July 08, 2012
M.H. asks from Higley, AZ
8 answers

I have a child that has been having Horrible fits this week. So bad that now I have a broken widnow, and two holes in my wall. But there was much more than that. He hurts the dog and other kids in the house too. I have to restrain him just so he doens't hurt himself or anybody else. I have called all the agencies and even his Dr. But still I am left with he needs counseling. Which I know that but I need help now on calming him down. The most recent one lasted 7 hours. And I am a single mom with 4 other children to take care of. So it has been hard on all of us this week. I just want to know if anybody has had these problems, and what to do to calm him down. I took him to a child development specialist and she suggested he seems to have signs of Bi Polar and possible ADHD. So if anybody can help me be sane again that would be great help. All the crisis lines I call say the same thing, I am doing the right thing. But I can't sit with him all day when I have other kids that need to be fed and taken care of.

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So What Happened?

I wanted to thank EVERYONE for advice on my 6 year olds fits. So far this is day 6 and we have not had any fits since yesterday around noon seems to be the end of our five day stretch of tantrums. So that is good. I am trying a bit of all the advice I got. And some of the advice is GREAT for my biological son Alex. The child throwing the fits was Brian who's parents are in prison. The fits did start up again in December but this last week it has been worse. But I think we are on a good track now. Well I hope so. Again thank you so much for all the advice and letting me know I am not alone in this!!

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T.R.

answers from Phoenix on

OM goodness! I do and can relate....Boys Throw fits. period. Whether bi-polar, add, adhd, spoiled, nastsy, sweet, or smart. I have a 7 yr old who has recently..(in the last two years) acquired the skills neccesary for pushing my buttons and screaming!

You NEED to KNOW children are OVERDIAGNOSED!!!! So with that in mind understand he is probably testing the limits and trying to get your attention in whatever means possible! Now is this the one who has/had an abusive mother? If so then the problems are probably deeper. Please check out this website, I hope this can help. God bless, and remember he's is only 6...very young, still a baby! still a baby. And know this; punishment with extreme anger on your part only adds to the fire! The only thing that calms a fire is water. Calm, Steady, soothing. God bless.

Go to this site, call her www.aolff.org

1 mom found this helpful
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K.S.

answers from Phoenix on

Sweetie, I can so relate to what you are going through! I have three kids. I have a 16 yo Bipolar/ADHD boy, a 14 yo ADHD girl with Epilepsy and Asthma, and a 12 yo boy who has ADHD, a Processing Disorder and is in process of being diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I have SO been t here with the tantrums and rages! My daughter was JUST like your six yo when she was little. She would throw not just tantrums but rages--so severely that she would wear her Father and I out. We would tag team each other like wrestlers do. We would come out of it winded, bruised and with backs and joints thrown out when she was as young as two and three years old--I kid you not! You don't want to hurt the little one, and it's so hard to restrain them from hurting others without hurting them...therefore, you get hurt in the process. I know you know what I'm talking about! One of the processes that was taught to me by a licensed Psychiatrist in California was called a "take down" procedure. Get behind the child and take hold of their opposite hands in your opposite hand...like their left in your right...following me? Then take and wrap their arms across their bodies criss cross apple sauce, and pull them (gently as you can) behind their body in a kind of straight jacket maneuver. Drop down gently to your knees, which will take the child down with you, leaving their legs (kicking, of course) in front of you. Make sure your knees are folded carefully behind you, out of harms way. You should be kind of in a kneeling-behind, kind of hugging situation. Watch out for backwards head butts!! That'll give you a fat lip, black eye or bruise that's hard to explain! Start saying soothing, loving, positive things, like "That's my boy...Mommy loves you so much...shhhh. It's all right, angel. We'll be all right. It's ok. Calm now, sweetling. It's ok, baby. It's all right, angel." That kind of thing. Just keep going, while he bucks it out, ok? You'll be darned tired and he'll tire out too. Some folks who have seen me do it in the past, thought it was darned mean and even abusive, but my psychiatrist told me it was perfectly legal and humane. At any rate, it will keep the child from hurting anyone but maybe you. It will stop property damage and the dog will live a longer, kinder life for it. It will get you through to the doctor's visits and they can get you more concrete help. OK? I hope it helps, and please, let me know how it goes, ok? ____@____.com. I got through it with my daughter who is now a beautiful, loving, calm, successful, controlled, popular Freshman in high school who is very affectionate. There IS hope, hon! I promise! HUGS!

1 mom found this helpful
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L.R.

answers from Tucson on

Dear M.,

I just signed on and read your column. I work for a medical doctor who is also a M.D. Homoepathy. We see many children in our practice who exhibit the same behavior. Dr. Brian L. Cabin is also a board certified Pediatrican. The doctor is not quick to hand out Rx's to young children. Has the child been tested for food allergies? I work for Dr.Cabin, performing EEG Neurofeedback on young children an adults with great results. If we can be of any help please call our ____@____.com Bless You For All You Do.
L. R.

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A.V.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi M. I also have a child who has been acting up lately she is 5 and I am not sure if she is getting it from other kids in school but her little fits are getting awful she throws herself on the ground and crys I dont know how to handle this she has even began to baby talk ugh... if you want to talk feel free to email me ____@____.com

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C.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Hello M.: My name is C. and I have answers you need to hear about. Maggie is a friend with an 11 year old and until three months ago he was kicking holes in the walls, kicked out a door and the frame. The other children would hide scared to be around him. Maggie is a teacher and she had bruises trying to control her son. What I have to share gave them their life back, last Christimas was the first one that was peaceful in years. Maggie will be happy to share her story. You can call me tonight 6PM ###-###-#### if you are open to this can change your life.

C.
____@____.com

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S.K.

answers from Washington DC on

I just want to say that I am having the same issues with my 6 year old daughter. I am so upset about it. She can be so loving, compassionate, and caring--so when she has these raging tantrums it makes me feel almost sick thinking that I must be a terrible parent. I am glad that I am not alone in this, and that there is hope out there.

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M.R.

answers from Seattle on

Please google EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique. It's an accu-tapping technique which focuses directly on the problem in the instant and has immediate calming effects. Trust me, the WHOLE family will benefit from it. They can watch the training videos together, they can tap together on what's bothering them. For instance, the other children must be stressed when he goes into these tantrums, the EFT will give them an avenue to deal with their response to him.

There are lots of training videos on youtube to learn from. Remember, the technique is FREE and NON-INVASIVE. Won't hurt to try. But it does require you, the mom, to focus on him and his issues, which is what he's needing at that moment anyhow.
My best to you and the little ones.

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M.D.

answers from Tucson on

Was the fit due to him not getting his own way, or what was the reason for the fit?

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