Help - Fort Myers, FL

M. - Please don't lock your son in his room anymore, it could be dangerous on some many levels. I have three little boys and to kept them in their room, we just put a baby gate in their doorway. This way, your son can see out and doesn't feel "locked" into his room and in case of an emergency, like a fire, you can just jump the gate and get him. I know that he will probably stand at the doorway the first couple of nights and scream for you, but just walk into the hallway, assure him that you are still there, but it is time for him to go to bed. Another thing that we do is, we allow them to watch movie while they are falling asleep. I know that this could be wrong on some many levels, but they understand that it is quite time and if they decide to play instead of laying in their beds, the movie and tv gets turned off. We have done this for our boys for the past three years ( my boys are 4 yo twins and 3 yo), and it works great!!!! And honestly, now they are able to take down the gate in the morning, but don't touch it at night!! Try this way!!!

We had trouble when we put our then 2year old into a big boy bed and he would not stay in bed and would keep getting out. We tried staying in there until he fell asleep but sometimes that took over an hour. My husband read online about locking them in and it worked. I put a childproof door thing on his side of the door so we could get in but he could not get out. He cried by his door a few nights and even fell asleep there and we carried him into bed once he fell asleep. But before long he just learned to get into bed and go to sleep. He may play a little but now he is three and I just shut the door and he goes to bed and I open the door before we go to bed so he can still get out at night if he needs to.
Hope it helps
W.

My son slept with us until he was 5. I loved it because my husband worked nights and so it was just me and my son most nights. But I knew at 5 he needed to be in his own bed. So I set a goal that by the time he started kindergarten I would have him in his own bed. I started by making a pallet on the floor next to my bed. He slept down there for about 3months or so. No matter how hard he would beg I would not let him in my bed. His treat was if he slept there all week without complaint he could sleep with me on the weekend. So one night he kept telling me his back hurt down there so I told him if it really did to go get in his own bed. he said he wanted to and I toldhim if he did there was NO coming back to moms room. And he did and has been there ever since. I still lethim sleep with me on the weekends because my husband works nights, but he has to be good and earn it. I hope this helps.

Not a video game...but Discovery Toys has great educational toys, books and games that I think your son and you would love. You can check them out online at my website http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/amystoys or I am also having an open house soon if you want to see them in person. Hope this helps. A.

Well, I tend to be a little more harsh with my kids. I think it benefits everyone in the house. If you do it when they are younger, it might never become an issue, but because it has, you need to be firm and consistent. Get a nightlight so it's not a "scared issue". Put him in his room with lots of love and hugs and kisses. Be firm and say "stay in your room. If you get out XYZ will happen". (take away a favorite toy, t.v. show, whatever.) Now, we're not talking about not getting out if there is an emergency, so make sure to tell him what qualifies an emergency. If he gets out, say nothing and put him back in again. Do it again and again and again. It will only take a few nights (at the most) and he'll give up on the fight.

Now, as far as the early rising and coming into your room, (which I can't believe you don't hear him) My kids cough from across the house and I'm up, but regardless, tell him "if I wake up and you're in my room sleeping XYZ will happen". (you know him best, what would be upsetting to him to lose?)

But Merideth, you have to follow through, no matter how sad you might think it is, or how you're "ignoring your child when he needs you most". The fact is, you are the parent teaching your child a lifelong habit of falling asleep on his own. It's important and it's not the hardest thing you will ever have to do. Besides, since it's effecting everyone in the house, it's time to act!! I promise, it will be worth it. Good luck and start tonight!

Hi M..

I remember reading a post from a while ago with a similar suggestion. One of the advices was to put up a half door. That way you can lock your child in via the bottom. He can still see out, and you can see in. Of course, make sure his room is totally safe, but then he can't get out. Eventually, he will get tired and go to sleep. Most importantly though, I think is to just ignore him. Tell him it's bedtime, put him in bed, hugs, etc. Then leave and lock the door.
Good luck.
Be sure to post what works for you, we'd love to know.

Lock him in his room. It's safer than him roaming around. I had a friend who did this. At first, after locking him in, she would find her son laying on the floor by the door the next morning. It broke her heart and it was hard but she continued locking the door.
Finally after about a week she said he started sleeping in his bed all night. She would peek in periodically sometimes during the night.

Get an intercom if will make you feel better.
Don't feel guilty. It's your child's choice to either stay in bed and not get locked in or continue to roam and get locked in his room.
Besides it's more scary thinking of your child roaming around. Just switch the door handle around. That's what my friend did.

Hello! I don't know if this will help or not but it may be worth a shot. We did this while my daughter was potty training. We are also doing this now to get my daughter to let her father leave her at day care in the morning without clinging on to him and having him pass her on to a teacher (we've had to do this for 3 years) and it is working great. Maybe it will work for you too! Go to the dollar store and pick out about 10 different toys and wrap them up. Put them in a box which you can let your son decorate and call it a treasure chest. Wrap up the gifts and put them in the box. Everytime your son sleeps in his own bed he gets to pick out a prize from the treasure chest! It took about a week for my daughter to follow through with it while we were potty training but as soon as we told her that we were going to do another treasure chest for her day care situation she was so excited. It's working great for us and hopefully it can for you too! Good Luck! By the way I use to do the locking of the door thing but after awhile it made me feel uneasy....what if there was an emergency such as a fire and your child couldn't get out. It just makes me too nervous. (I just noticed that Karin mentioned the same suggestion!)

If this is any consolation, my 3 year old does the same thing. He all of a sudden has developed a fear of the dark. He will lay there and watch a movie and sometimes fall asleep, but usually I wake up to find little eyes looking at me! This takes time, but sometimes I will sit in there with him until he falls asleep. It takes time out of your time, but if you don't want him to cosleep with you, that is the best advice I can give. Good luck.

Please if you can figure out a solution please pass it on I also have a 2 year old boy who does the same has to lay on the couch at night just to go to sleep even if he is beyond tired lol who every morning I wake up to his big brown eyes Hi Mommy! So if you find anything to work PLEASE share lol

My son is 2 1/2 and he does the same thing. He prefers to fall asleep on the couch. We carry him to bed asleep. Sometimes he wakes up and comes into our bed. Other times, he sleeps all through the night in his bed. I don't worry about it. My son refused to sleep in a crib at 10 months. He prefered the floor. I go with the flow.

I was given the advice from my pediatrician when my son was 4 to make a "dream" or "sleep" box. Have your child help decorate a shoe box or plastic box about the same size. Decorate with stickers or anything else your child likes. Go to the dollar store and get little prizes and wrap them up. Put them in the box and tell your child that everytime he sleeps in his bed all night that he gets to pick a prize from the box. It worked for me. Some advice though, place the box out of their reach. I left it down too far once and my son went and opened all prizes.

Both of my daughters went through a phase where they had a hard time going to bed. My oldest daughter we took away nap time, and she was more tired and that was the solution. My younger daughter, is my "strong willed" child. We had a bed time routine, we both picked a book and I read hers first, and mine second. Sometimes I would pick a chapter book and read one chapter every night until it was finished. I would then turn on music, they had tapes when they were younger, then I discovered that CD's start over, and you don't have to go in and flip. It gave my girls a reason to stay in there room. You have to be prepared to do things like sit in there with him, and put him back in there 20 times, be consistant. Trust yourself and do what you feel comfortable with.

I know it sounds mean, but put an outside hook and eye lock on that door. First, it is dangerous for him to wander the house when you are sleeping, he could very easily decide that the outside world has so much more to offer and go wandering away from home. If you don't want the lock on his door, you might consider putting high locks on your doors to the outside (if you do not already have them). Second, when my toddler refuses to lay down, I have no problem turning the lock. When he realizes the door will not open, he typically plays for a few minutes by himself and then lies down and falls asleep. Most often, he just lies down and stays there, he knows he is not coming out. If this sounds horrible to you, you can always go the hard route, but you need to stay consistent. Each time he gets up, take him by the hand back to his room, place him on the bed and tell him it is time for his nap. No more dialogue, turn and walk away. You do not want him to think it is a game. Each time he comes out, immediately do the same thing. After a few times, it might take a bit more the first time, he will get the picture and stay there.
P.

I did the SuperNanny method, and it worked great for us. You put him in bed with stories, hugs, kisses & cuddles. Then you leave the room. If he gets up, you say "It's bedtime" and put him back. If he gets up again, you say "Bedtime" and put him back. After that you do not interact with him at all!! You just keep putting him back. It is important that you don't interact, because that is why he is getting up. It may take a very long time for him to stay the first night or two, but it really does work. She has another method for really young kids that may work, too. You start off sitting on the floor next to his bed until he's asleep, but you don't interact with him. Each night you move further away from the bed until you are leaving the room. You can not interact with him, however, or it won't work. Good luck!