Help During Prayer Time

I bet his behavior during prayer time is a phase. If possible I would ignore it. He wants your attention. If he doesn't get it maybe the behavior will stop. I might also ask his teacher at church if he/she wouldn't mind talking about being quiet and respectful during prayer not only at church but at home too. I don't think he's too young to sit quietly for a minute. My two boys went through the same thing. They also want to speed through prayer. I understand your frustration! J.

I think God understands. He's only 5 and as long as he know that prayer is talking to God, it seems OK. When he talks to you sometimes he's silly, I'm sure so God is just like another one of his friends he is talking too. If he were 15 and doing this, it might be a sign of disrespect, but now I don't think it is disrespectful. I'm glad to see other mother's who share Christ with their kids!

Something that we do at home during prayer time is that we all hold hands. My 21 month old daughter even joins in on the hand holding during our prayers. I think this helps keep their hands still and you are uniting as a family. Best wishes! (I do believe that he is not to old to sit and listen to a prayer with hands folded.)

I'm not sure specifically about your background, but during meals aren't you be celebrating the gifts that lay before you? Consider singing the prayer - if you want to reinforce that expressing your spirituality is a good thing, you got to make it fun. Or to keep his hands busy and if you have a set prayer, learn enough sign language to sign the prayer out.

I like the idea of holding hands! I think I will try that with my one year old. I think you are right about not wanting to make it a bad time for him. I would ignore it and let it pass, he will learn by watching and the fact that he is good at church is a good sign. Don't sweat the small stuff :) You are setting a good example and that is what's most important.

Wow, it sounds as if you are talking about my 4 year old daughter. We have family prayer time every night at bedtime. We each take turns saying prayer starting with the youngest (the 4 year old) and going all the way up to daddy. Sometimes she offers up her prayers and they are so very sweet but most of the time she is playing, singing, jumping around, or just doing anything to try to get her two older sisters to laugh and sometimes they do. I have tried not to get too upset even though sometimes I do. We also just keep explaining at the end that prayer should be a serious time for us to talk to God and pray for those that need it. I think just being consistent and reminding them that they are talking to God, they will eventually outgrow it. My older girls used to be the same way and even now sometimes they get tickled and start giggling. There have been a few occasions when even my husband and I have started laughing and then we just kind of let the kids know that God likes seeing us all have a good time but it would be nice to wait until after prayer time. Sometimes my laughter comes in place of being upset about them not taking it seriously. I think it's a great thing to do with our kids so we just keep plugging along and knowing that one day they will each look back on these times with fond memories.

One thing my mother and her husband has taught me is that holding hands at the dinner table or right before bed time helps so much. It does not allow the children to play at these times. the focus is on praising the Lord. It works with my two older children, my youngest is at the stage of "don't hold my hand, i want to see what I can touch" stage. but she will learn as the others did.

I praise you and all the other families that have family prayer!! The world needs MORE of family prayer time!

Hi P.! I am so happy to hear that you are praying with your child. What a wonderful thing to teach to your child. I have a 6 and 4 year old and we pray with them every night before bed and they go to church and Sunday school every Sunday. We have made it known to our kids that it is very important to pray and that God hears us when we pray. Sometimes our children act up during prayer and when they do this I wait until the end and remind them that it is disrespectful to talk (or do whatever it is they are doing) during prayer. I never get angry with them because as you said, I too do not want to make it a negative experience for them!

We have also recently started asking our kids before prayer what it is they want to pray for that night and I think it helps when they know we will be talking about what they just mentioned. And, though I don't think it is too much to expect from a 5 year old to sit still or not talk during prayer. . .I think that every kid has their off day (as do we:). . .I think the fact that you are even praying with him is important and he knows this. He will soon grow out of the stage of needing you to pray for him. . .so I just say soak up every night you get to pray with him. . . .God knows what you are doing for your son. . . .that is the most important part!!

Hooray for family prayer time! You know, Jesus said 'let the children come to me." What does Christ love about children? Their innocence, laughter, goofiness, and all of the same things we love about children. So, encourage your child to try not to be too disruptive during family prayer time, but it's really important that he also understands that he can talk to God all the time, anywhere... even while he's doing headstands or taking a bath.

I don't think it is too early for them to be respectful of prayer time. I have 4 kids and my 3 sons (6 1/2, 4 1/2 and 2 year old) all sit quietly at the table for prayer and at bed time. The 2 year old acts up a little but he is learning. I think that just reminding them that we are talking to God and we need to be respectful of him is all part of prayer. The main thing is that I try to keep it short and sweet. I notice that when someone gets a little long winded they have a tendency to get a little figidy (sp?). Also another thing is that we hold hands at the table to pray...this way their hands can't get into trouble. I hope this helps...but I would just keep reminding him that we need to need to be respectful of our prayer time. Good luck.

All the advice is really good. My only piece to add: kids love having a job and being in charge. Maybe try having a prayer chart that lists who says the family prayer each night or whenever you have it. If your child sees his name on the chart, maybe he'll be more serious about it. Also, maybe he can choose how you say the prayer: kneeling in a circle, holding hands, folding arms, etc. This would give him some control when maybe he doesn't feel any. I think it is a great idea for each family member to say something they are grateful for that day to include in the prayer and maybe ask each family member if there is anything they need help with that the family can include in the prayer. Of course, he won't remember to pray for each of those things, but it may help to add focus. Another thing we do with our 3 and 2 year old is when we kneel to pray, I say 'who knows how to pray?' 'I see dad is ready', and so complementing each person who is ready and ignoring ones who are playing around. We've even had all who are ready leave the room to pray somewhere else where it is reverent and then say that we missed the irreverant person during the prayer. Kids hate to be left out. But, whatever you do, stay calm and patient and don't make it a bad experience. Always have a smile when trying to accomplish this. Patience... keep it up and it will bless your home forever. Another thing: we always pray for our kids in front of them and tell them we love them in the prayer. We have family prayer in the morning, at dinner, and in the evening. (We also pray at every other eating, but not everyone is there obviously). SO, we are praying a lot during the day, which kind of makes it second nature.

Dear P.,
I would make the prayer time that he is involved in at home (such as grace before meals, or bedtime prayers)short enough to accommodate his attention span, no more than 5 minutes I would say.
When he turns 5 I would make sure that he is respectful....stop and remind him mid-prayer and start over.
Even if you can only complete one prayer with respect then so be it.
You are not expecting too much, but remember to keep it short.

Hi P.,
I think its wonderful that you are encouraging him to pray, if you do it now he will most likely keep the habit all his life. We pray together as a family every night and it is such a nice way to end the day. I have noticed though that it is hard for my young children (6,4,and 3) to pay attention all the time and I wonder if they even 'get' what we are doing sometimes. So I have changed the way we pray. Instead of reciting the same prayers every night we now take turns thanking God and Jesus for our blesings or asking them for special needs. It really personalizes prayer time for them. I'll ask each child "what do you want to give thanks for tonight?", "what would you like to ask God or Jesus to help you with tonight?", or "do you know anyone that is sick or needs us to pray for them toight?" It has really gotten them more involved in prayer time and gives my husband and I some insight as to what is going on in their little worlds. Keep up the good work, when he gets antsy just remind him why it is important to be serious during prayer. As he matures he'll start to understand and respect the power of his prayers. Blessings to you all!

Kids like consistancy and predictability. At meal times, hold hands and everyone say the prayer every night. My 15 month old son was so used to it as soon as you put on his bib he would hold out his hands and smile. We use an old family prayer:

Our God and Creator,
We thank you for this food and thy loving care,
Amen.

It's short so kids don't get bored and they are happy to participate instead of listening to someone else do it all the time.

At night agree on another evening prayer and don't worry about what he's doing with his hands - is it really something that matters? Probably not...as long as he says the prayer, that's the point.

We found a lot of kids' prayer books at half price books. Get one and find a prayer that he seems to like and go with it.

Prayer time is a challenge in our home too. I have a 3 year old and a 5 year old, and like your son, sometimes they do very well and even say the prayer themselves, so I know that they CAN do it. The conclusion that I came to is that my example is the best teaching tool that I have, so rather than shushing them in the middle of the prayer, I continue to be reverant throughout the prayer and then remind them afterward that it is important to be quiet and still during prayer. My hope is that the regular reminders will eventually sink in and that they will follow my example. I think that the important thing is to not let prayer time to become a bad experience for them or you.

This will be short. My daughter who is now 4 did really good through pray at home at table and always says her own at night we ALWAYS hold hands while we pray and now our 18 mo we hold hands and he is so cute he will sit there SO GOOD and quit looking at his food licking his LIPS wanting the food. When we are done we all say AMEN and then we eat the other day we were done and instead of amen he said FOOD LOUD. lol it was cute so we knew hew was listening b/c he said it right as we were done. He will go to table and sit in his chair and wait for us to ALL come sit and pray and he will say amen now sometimes lol and we eat... Try to hold hands and include the children in the pray. we always ask god to look over them and to help them be good (which they never are ) lol