Help for a First Time Mom

Keep trying on the food and she will get the hang of it. On the sleeping issue, you do not have to let her cry it out if you don't think that is appropriate. I know 90% of pediatricians and 99% of parents say you have to let them cry but that doesn't mean that is the right thing to do in all cases. Based on what you describe, she is crying and wants some cuddling because as soon as she gets it she calms down and goes back to sleep. There is nothing wrong with giving her the cuddling and love she needs at that time. She will eventually sleep through the night on her own.

9 months old is about the right time to start table foods. We started both my kids out on the Gerber puffs and Cheerios. Once they got the hang of it, then we switched them slowly to "real" foods. My youngest is about the same age as your little one and she eats a variety of table foods. I still give her baby food though, just to make sure her diet is balanced. Cut the food up itty bitty so if they swallow it whole, they don't choke. At 9 months most of their nutrition is still coming from breastmilk or formula so don't worry if she only gets two bites of food into her mouth. Right now they are learning to chew and exploring different tastes and textures. I think it's normal for them to gag a little at first, especially if the pieces are too big.
I'm no help on the CIO. My kids sleep with me and we don't agree with CIO.

Yes she might not be ready for finger foods yet. Some kids get the hang of it quickly and others it takes a bit longer. Mine didn't start eating finger foods until she was 14mo and she still has some texture issues with some foods. Don't force it on her she has to figure out that she needs to chew and not just swallow like with pureed food.
As for the sleeping, do you put her back down after she falls asleep or do you take her back to bed with you? I have issues with letting a child cry it out so if you don't want to go that route I suggest that you pick her up to comfort her and then lay her back down. Talking to her the entire time about how it's bedtime and she needs to go to sleep. She got used to sleeping with you so now she needs to learn that you are still there for just not in the same bed. This will not happen overnight but she will eventually feel secure and sleep on her own.

Oh, don't feel you have to let them cry it out (CIO) at all. There's plenty of research that supports "responsive" nighttime parenting (i.e. "responding" to your babies cries). For that matter, google "cry it out harmful" and you'll see there are plenty of reasons NOT to let them CIO. It's also known as "sleep training".

Your heart seems to be telling you to pick her up and soothe her, she's *certainly* telling you that herself, and anyone who tells you otherwise doesn't have to hear her crying out in the middle of the night, so their opinion doesn't count. (Besides, science these days says they're wrong anyway.)

I second the person who recommended "The No Cry Sleep Solution" but I'd also like to point you toward a great (free!) resource on infant sleep.

http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/comfortnursing.ht...

There's also lots of useful information there on what "normal infant sleep" really is, (like why infants sleeping though the night at 6 months have increased nighttime wakings at 9-12 months.)

Oh, and the feeding? Make both of your lives easier and stick to the pureed stuff until she's grabbing stuff off your plate. Gagging is a pretty low level biological reflex - gagging *before* swallowing is the body's way to keep them from choking when they *do* swallow. Her body is saying she's not quite ready yet - she *will* let you know.

Some babies reject all attempts of solid foods (even the pureed ones) for their first year! (Happened to my lactation consultant). Nutritionally, all they truly need the first year is milk, and anything beyond that is to get them interested in new tastes and getting their tummies used to more substantial foods.

All babies *do* learn to eat, and it doesn't do anything to "teach" this (if that's possible) a few months earlier or later, except maybe give yourself a few more gray hairs. More good ideas here:
www.wholesomebabyfood.com

Hi. Sounds like you've had quite a bit of advice already. I won't say much about the food except keep trying. make sure that the pieces are small enough that she's only gagging and can't actually choke. Gerber puffs are great. Steamed carrots were one of the first things I tried and would mash them up a little. Just keep trying. she'll eventually get it!

I understand the exhaustion. My daughter went through several months of not being able to sleep well. Our main problem was getting her to fall asleep on her own at night...once she figured that out she would put herself back to sleep during the night. The first time we did this (about 9 months old) we did let her cry it out and it was miserable. She did get it after just a couple of nights and did great. Then she got sick. I couldn't stand to let her cry it out again, so we tried a different method. It worked like a charm and I've had no problems since then (she's now 20 months old)....here is what we did...
Do your regular night time routine, put her in her crib and leave. Wait a minute. Then go in and give her her pacifier (if she takes one). Say "mommy loves you, but it's time to go to sleep" and lay her back down; if she is histerical crying, then pat her until she calms down (but not until she's asleep). Don't pick her up. then leave the room. wait 2 minutes and if she's still crying go back in and lay her back down. After the first time dont' say anything. Just give her her paci or blankie or whatever and lay her down. Each time increase the wait time by a minute. My daughter got it after a couple of nights and each night it only took a total 15 minutes.
I hope this helps. It's a lot more gentle then crying it out, but it does teach her that mommy will be there to soothe her (patting her) and hasn't abandoned her, but that she needs to fall asleep on her own.

Good luck!

First off... Congratulations Mom! My son and daughter weren't ready for table food or Stage 3 foods until almost 1 year, so don't rush if you and she are uncomfortable. Doctors are all about charts and models, so just temper with patience. She won't starve or become growth-stunted:)

Sleeping arrangements are all about you, baby and your family. Both my children went for hours crying irregardless of the method used, so I coslept -- full-time working breastfeeding mama needs a break too:)

Ferber and other methods are handy and I've friends that they have worked for -- each child and parents are unique and special. Won't be long before you're nostalgic:)

nope you don't NEED to let her cry it out. what you do need to do is comfort her , feed her , keep her warm , and make sure she knows' she's loved.
Try picking up the " no cry sleep solution by elizabeth pantley. I believe cry it out goes against our God given instincts to care for and nurture our young.

The only way she'll learn to eat table foods is to continue to offer them to her. You're correct that breast milk will be her primary source of nutrients for a few more months. Here's a sample menu from the American Academy of Pediatrics for a child her age:

At 9 months, my kids were more on table foods than they were on baby foods. We'd offer them slices of apples to gnaw on, cheese, pasta, cooked frozen vegetables, toast - if they were interested in trying, we exercised caution and gave it a go.

The latest policy from the American Academy of Pediatrics was to offer any foods UNLESS they pose a choking hazard or are a known family food allergen.

I'm not a big fan of letting kids Cry It Out either - breaks my heart, and as a working mom, I don't have the time to let them go for it for a few hours in the middle of the night. So, I personally let them come into bed with me, and we never had issues with them not being able to get back to sleep quickly.

Our son is 3.5 and is a horrible sleeper - we're bribing him currently to get him to stay in his room. He spent more time in a crib and away from us as an infant.

Our daughter is 2, and she's a ROCK STAR at sleeping. She co-slept with us the first year in order to nurse on demand and then through my 5 months of chemo (because it was easier on me, and I needed her more to comfort me). She sleeps in her crib solidly every night!

Do what you believe is best for your family, and don't worry about other people's opinions!
Good luck - enjoy that wonderful little girl!

My twins didn't eat table food until they were almost 13 months. I gave them alot of baby food like green beans with rice,sweet potatoes,fruit etc. When they did start to eat table food they liked mandarin oranges,cheese,yo Baby yoghurt(lots!), soft pasta,soups,etc. Take it slow and don't push it. Each child is different. My kids didn't have any problem because they had table food a little bit later. They too weren't ready when the doc and everyone else was pushing for them to eat table food. You are doing great!

In reagrds to sleep, we did let our twins cry it out at about a year old. the only thing I can say is that they still are very needy after an illness. It seems to work for us that if we lay down with then when they need us they get over it in a few days.She is still young so you might want to try that before you have her cry it out. They get kind of scared after an illness and just want us close.By the way , we put our guest bed in their room for that reason. Take care!

I would absolutely try the other methods suggested - having them cry is no fun; but we got to the point where nothing else seemed to work and so here's how we did it: Let them cry for 10 minutes (it will seem like forever), then go back in and sooth her with out picking her up. What we did was hand her back her passy say "I know your upset, but it's time to go to sleep. Mommy loves you, goodnight." then leave. I've also heard of suggestions of rubbing their back or staying in the room for a little while, but neither of those seemed to help my daughter. Then, let them cry for 15 more minutes and go back in and repeat the process until they fall asleep. The first time, it took mine 45 minutes to get to sleep. It got better every night after.

I know it's tough being sleep deprived, but hang in there and do what YOU think is best for your baby. Good luck.

Hi
My children are all grown up so perhaps there is better up to date information available these days however for what it is worth here's my contribution ...
Doctors can only advise, every baby is different and my guess is that your baby is not ready for big bits of food ... if she is thriving on what she is eating why change? You can always try her with some finger foods again in a few weeks
Babies crying in the night is part and parcel of being a parent. While I agree that your baby should be sleeping in her own crib I think you should not leave her crying alone for long because you cannot be sure that there isn't something wrong e.g she might be ill, frightened, spooked, caught in a string etc. So if leaving her to cry for 10 minutes means she falls back to sleep by all means try it but BE SURE that she is safe and that theres nothing wrong. When mine were young I had this problem and I checked first (peep in the door) having satisfied myself that all was safe I stood nearby to see if baby stopped, if not I used to go in, make soothing sounds without taking baby from crib and if that didn't work a cuddle and a low repetitive hummed song sure did !. Either way babies go through phases and definitely the period of sickness was prob the trigger here but its not the end of the world it will pass for sure. Main thing is not to have a crying baby all night just because the "book" says that this or that should be so ... your baby is a unique being and the best person to decide what works is you and baby. Enjoy her and make decisions as to whats best as a team always keeping in mind that instinctively you know her best..

No, you don't have to let her cry it out. If holding her helps her then that is fine and what she needs. Please don't feed into that myth that all babies need to know how to sleep on their own from day one. You coming to them and at least comforting them to sleep is perfectly fine. Having her sleep with you is also fine whether for the whole night or just in the morning if she wakes and wants to come in and get cozy to go back to sleep. She is becoming more aware of being away from you and your husband and desires your touch and support to help her get through stressful things. You will be helping her out to come to her and comfort her. As far as the food goes she may not be ready for whole table foods but offering them will be helpful. If you go to the website wholesomebabyfood.com there are great ideas for first foods. Frozen fruits and veggies are a great choice for this age because you can keep them in the freezer and they aren't as expensive so wasting them if she takes a while to warm up to them is ok.

My daughter had a strong gag reflex as well. She was around 9 months old before she even started solids because of it. I would just offer her solids about once a week knowing that she was getting her primary nutrition from breastmilk (as all babies should the first year-food is just for practice). Just keep offering her finger foods about once a week.

For the sleeping, she has to be taught how to go back to sleep. Just leaving her there to cry teaches her nothing about sleep but does teach her that you aren't coming when she needs you and floods her system with stress hormones. There are kinder, gentler ways to teach sleep. Not to say that there won't be some tears but it's not an all or nothing game. It took about 2 weeks to teach my son to get thru the night. When he would wake I would go in tell him it was night night and lay him back down, then I would put my head down on the crib rail and he would settle back down. And then out I'd go. Some nights I'd have to repeat this more often than others but after a couple of weeks he got it and could settle himself back down. She's only 9 months old. She's still very much a baby and is learning about sleep and night time.