Help Get My 4 Year Old to Sleep

S. talk to her and see what is bugging her that might be keeping her awake ! see if she might be afraid of somthing , and if so comfort hr\er and remind her that you at\re there and you will protect her. may be read to her before bedtime if you don't or sing to her . I did this with my ougest daughter when she was small shedid the same thing always getting up.
C.

I would echo the response to getting her to play really hard. My kids sleep the best after they get worn out by playing a lot. In the winter, I have them do things inside, like jumping jacks and duck duck goose. Just anything to get energy out. In the warmer months, parks are great!

Also, this site is for adults who can't sleep in the night. But, it had some good suggestions on how to try to fix it :)

http://www.mercola.com/article/sleep.htm

Hello,

What reason does your daughter state for getting up 3-6 times per night? Does she go to bed easily, or is it a struggle every night? Does she wet the bed? Is she on any types of medications, which could be causing this? Does she have any health issues? Do you have other children, if so what ages? Do you have her on a set schedule? Does she eat a lot of sugar? Does she go to day care, or are you a stay at home mom? Do you know if she has food allergies?

These are the main questions which popped right into my head when reading about your situation. I have some ideas which you may like to try, but I need more information from you.

Also, remember she can sense your stress and frustration that you are having. Dealing with this issue in a calm manner needs to be the first thing which you change.

Hi, S., this is Heidi D. I watched my sister as she took care of my three month old niece in our home for three years. My stepmom was a firm believer in keeping the same routine for bedtime each and every night. Even though Chrissie would cry and cry, "Nana" would sit outside the door to her room with my sister and I , training us to NOT go in no matter how much she protested. Even up to twenty minutes of crying, if Chrissie was not sick. After a few weeks of that consistent training, Chrissie rarely cried and would just play in bed (after bedtime prayers and kisses and story) until she fell asleep. We did not allow her food or drink after 6 pm, except some water after she brushed her teeth.
I also know that some children sleep deeper when they've been physically active in the afternoon. A good romp with dad or older brother, some exercises or dancing before supper can boost the metabolism and assist in sleep.
Hope that helps! Heidi in Wisconsin

Hi S.,

First of all have no fear this will NOT last forever. I have a now almost 6 year old and she is the best, well behaved little girl in the world BUT was the worlds worst sleeper from infancy on up until 5 years old.

A couple things I tried that worked on and off were one laying down the law- "if you get up there will be consequences.." and follow through- 2.reward your child for sleeping/staying in her bed all through the night (ie can go to the craft store and get an activity, ice cream whatever.) 3. try a sound machine and spraying a child safe lavender spray on her pillow to relax her. 4. refrain from ANY tv or wild play 1 1/2 to 2 hours prior to bed, it over stimulates their mind. and lastly really have a heart to heart with your child and see if your child can articulate why she needs to get up. For my daughter we never really got to the bottom of it- it was who she was but once she got into kindergarten and we really developed a very quiet nighttime routine she sleeps through the night more often then not.

Good Luck!

Hi S.,
I would just ask if her getting up at night seems to be causing really serious behavior problems. If it is you may have more than just issues with your routine to worry about. I have a 5 year old that didn't sleep day or night for more than 2-3 hours for the first 4 years of his life. It was horrible and it resulted in behavior problems that were far beyond what anyone would consider normal and greatly compromised his quality of life - when someone finally did listen to us and get us to someone who could help we realized that sleep was just the tip of the ice burg. If you think this is where you might be then I strongly suggest that you consult a developmental pediatrician - our family pediatrician was no help with this either. Another Mom mentioned sensory disorders and the brushing technique. That's just the first step. If your child is found to have a sensory disorder the whole world of your child will suddenly make sense to you. You'll suddenly understand why all of the advice from other parents and parenting books felt condescending and sometimes insulted you as a parent. Check out this site http://www.out-of-sync-child.com/ If this sounds like your child I can't tell you how much seeking out the right professionals will change your and your child's life. Don't be alarmed. Your daughter might just be in a phase - but if not fell free to contact me back ____@____.com. Misunderstanding what was normal tore us apart for years before we understood what was going on.

I was reading on www.arbonne.com under the product tab and then clicked on testimonies about some moms with the same problem. They used a variety of Unwind products: bath salts, massage oil, body spray. They now say that the spray is their Magic Sleep Spray. Each night they give their child a bath with the oil or salts in the water. Then spray the child or their pillow before bed. Some only use the spray and not the bath. Now their kids don't wake up at night-amazing! Read the stories for yourself. If you are interested in trying the product email me ____@____.com or reply through mamasource and I'll send you the product at 35% off! There is a 45 day money back guarentee so that is helpful.
Hope this information helps.

I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter who is up a bunch of times in the night too! Generally it is a pretty quick trip to take care of something- a drink of water, getting covered up. But it gets really frustrating and exhausting. We have had pretty good luck with a sticker chart. She gets a sticker for every night that she sleeps without either Mom or Dad needing to come in (sometimes we're flexible if we end up going in once or if she needs help going to the bathroom). During the daytime we practice with her getting water by herself (she keeps a cup by her bed) or pulling back up her covers so we know she can do it. I'd say things are much better lately- most nights now it is one trip into to see her at the most, once in a while two... But she is pretty excited to get a sticker in the morning.

Is she just getting up because she wants to see you? If so, you could try giving her a "pass" that is good for getting out of bed once a night. Once she uses it, that's it for the night. You could make a pass decorated with fun stickers she would like. It worked really well for a friend of mine with a 3.5 year old daughter getting up 4-5 times during the night. Now she sleeps through the night. It took a couple of weeks to work, but she would get up fewer times each night until she eventually slept through the night. The idea comes from the book "1-2-3 Magic" if you want to read more about it.

I completely understand what you are going through. My 4 yr old daughter (soon to be 5) went through the same thing about a yr ago. What I ended up doing is making sure we stayed on a schedule. I sat down with her and we talked about why it was important to get sleep throughout the night. we made a deal...if she woke up during the night, she was to try to go to sleep on her own (we put bottled water by the bed, nightlight in the bathroom, etc). If she felt like she needed to wake me up, she was to think if it was important enough to wake up mommy since she knew I needed my rest for work. we even closed my door to my bedroom so it made her think even harder. Eventually, the schedule and everything fell into place. It took a couple of months, but it worked. Good luck

Hi S.
My daughter used to get up 3-5 times a night also. until she was diagnosed with sensory defensivness. after getting her on the wilbur brushing system she sleeps all night. you may want to have your daughter evaluated. hope this helps. T.

S.,

I think you need to put her back to bed without talking to her every time she gets up. It takes about 3 tiring nights for her to see you aren't giving up.

I'll pray for you.
S.

Hi S.-
I have an strong,active young 3 year old boy, and I find that physically wearing him out helps him sleep really well. If the weather is inclement, sometimes we just take him to a store like Walmart, for example, and let him push the cart to wear him out. Works like a charm!
A.

Fresh air and sunshine work miracles. Play outside for awhile, at least 30 minutes between nap time and bed time. In every kind of weather. Statistics prove that colds and flu come from being inside too much in the winter, not from being out in fresh air whether it's 1 degree or 100 degrees, fresh air is much better for us than stale indoor air.
Restrict nap time to one hour between 1 and 3. No caffine (ever) of any sort, tea, coffee, chocolate, soda etc etc. No sweets from 3 pm. to morning.
I think we too often get ourselves into such bad habits, and do what comes easy, not what is best. For instance it's easier to let the kids sleep til noon than get them up and plan activities for the day and keep on track with them. It's easier to stay inside on cold days than to pack everyone into mittens and boots etc etc. and actually play in the snow. But it wears kids out pretty quick playing hard in the snow, and they sleep really well afterward.
Potty training is one of those things that really seems easier to put off until they are so old it's embarrassing but if trained at age 2 it's so much easier, it takes work perseverence, and persistance but it seems to be easier for the babies to get it done and over with at that age. Reading all the posts here makes me wonder where the advice is coming from to let babies wait til they are 3 or 3.5. The longer you wait the harder will be. It also seems a waste of time for most babies to try potty training before age 2.
Sorry I got side tracked. Sleeping. If a child that age is up at 8 am and has only one hour after lunch for nap, that child will sleep well if given plenty of fresh air and sunshine and activity during the day, and no caffine. If you have tried that and have not had good results, then maybe you need to consult your doctor.

Hi,

I am a mom with a 10 yr old daughter and 12 yr old son now. I only can think of 2 choices with your daughter. One being constant putting her
back in bed or I personally slept next to her in her bed and then got up after she fell asleep. That way she was able to have a sense of security that I was there and she stayed asleep. Up till this point in time all I have to do is tuck her in and give her a hug, turn off her tv and TURN THE NIGHTLIGHT "SLEEPING BEAUTY" on and shut the door.

"Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Dr. Ferber. It explains the physical side of sleep and what is needed to establish and maintain good sleep patterns in a step by step process. It also helps you understand if you are in a situation that will require a sleep specialist. This book transformed our home!

Lavender!!! Before bed, give her a bath with 2 or 3 drops of Lavender essential oil, then you can read a nice book, calm is the keyword. In her pillow case you can put some Lavender flowers (dry) in the toe of an old sock, or panty hose. If you crush the bad a little before bed, it will release the scent. Lavender flowers and oils can get found at any health food store, or several places on the internet. This will work wonders! Lavender oil is great for bruises, burns, headaches, cuts, sunburns, and many other things.
However, don't use more then 4 drops total in the bath! Small kids need less then adults. For an adult you'd use 6-8 drops in a bath. For everything else, 1-2 drops.
M.
Certified Aromatherapist

I raised 5 children, these are tips I found helpful.
Keep nap time early in the afternoon, so they are fully tired for bedtime at night.
Give them a "hardy" meal for supper, full tummy is comforting, but not spicy (upsetting), and restrict nighttime snacks to no sugar. Milk is relaxing, we used to do the malts each night, it actually helped (small glass for young age, yes it's sugar too, but seems the dairy just helped). We're big on hot cocoa here, we cooled it down with cold milk for the younger ones, the "warm" milk is also soothing, our grandmother's used to do warm milk before bed.
A ritual, bedtime story, something to relax them, make them feel safe. NO scary TV, movies and even Disney stories can be scary, nothing to give them dreams that wake them up...we want "good dreams".
Buying something "big girl" special...new bed sheets, new blanket that she picks out no matter how wild it is, and a night light...they have a pretty "light effects" room freshener...and they have plug in room fresheners that are aromatherapy for "relaxing". Soothing sounds machines, or even a CD in a small player softly in her room, keeps her relaxed.
We're often not aware that the children do pick up what's on TV, news, shows...they get scared with fires, wars, guns, bad people, families not together...they dream about it, and even when they awake and are unaware (as often we can't recall the dream a few moments after we awake), it's still what's keeping them from a "comfortable safe" rest.
Hope this helps.

I played children's Christian tapes every nite (had recorded same on both sides) with quieting type music--worked for years..also a warm bath with lavender scented soap or bubble bath also helps...Parents Magazine also has good suggestions..