Help Getting a 1St Grader to Do Homework!

I had a similar problem with my 12 yo when he was in Kindergarten -we started a homework "chain". You remember the paper chains you made as a kid? We hung it from the entertainment center, but it could also work from the kitchen cabinets, or somewhere that would "hang" and not be in the way. Everyday he did his homework without complaining, he got one piece of the chain. If he complained, a piece of the chain came off. So, it did take him a while, but once the chain reached the floor, he got to pick where we went for dinner and a small ($5) toy or game. That way, it actually takes a few weeks, so you're not bribing all the time,but it is visible and really helped him. HTH! :)

Sounds to me like she's feeling overwhelmed by demands and expectations. It's possible she's become embarrassed or intimidated by the pace of the lessons or the teacher's style at school, and is reflecting her upset at home.

If you add the the pressure by telling her you know she knows something, she'll probably be much more wrapped up in your expectations and frustration that whatever is on the page in front of her.

She's possibly had a very intense, effortful, and even discouraging day by the time she gets home. Can you at least give her a play break for an hour? If she still can't relax with you, is it possible for you to let her work more independently?

Too much focus on academic achievement and homework, with a corresponding loss of free, imaginative play, rest, and exercise, is a pretty toxic trend in education. I find it alarming that first graders are even given homework, although I think it's fine to keep families informed on what their children are learning so that parents can reinforce that – in fun, low-pressure ways.

Your daughter may need you to support her very reasonable need to have more personal or family time and less homework. I just saw this book recommended to another mom, by an author I really respect: "The Homework Myth, Why Our Kids Get Too Much of a Bad Thing," by Alfie Kohn. You can read part of the book here: http://www.amazon.com/Homework-Myth-Alfie-Kohn/dp/0738210...#

they work so hard at school... and being "on" and behaving.
When at home, they need to wind-down.
maybe let her relax more first before starting in on homework. Start by giving her a head's up: "After you finish your snack, well start homework..."
"transitioning" the child into the next thing you need her to do.
Some kids, don't do well with abrupt changing of pace... at home, is where they get tweaked after a long day at school. Literally.

My girl, does NOT like to start homework, until she has eaten... not while eating. And I always give her a head's-up on when homework will commence. For instance: "when the clock says 3:00 its homework time." Until then, I let her snack/eat, relax as she wants. It is winding-down from school. Deflating if you will. I know she needs to do that.

If it is too hard as she says, ask her "why." And she probably gets all frustrated because she is tired. Most kids are, after school, and then they can't concentrate.

But, if your daughter is really having work that is too hard... and she is struggling, then you need to talk to the Teacher. See how she is doing in class.

Also, try assisting her differently. Sometimes, my daughter just gets more irked the more I assist her. If she has a question, then she asks me. But I am there, sitting beside her, "helping." So I've learned her cues, and her pacing. And not rushing her.

My daughter, would literally be just all pooped out when she came home from school, and would still nap through the 1st grade. Until she was refreshed, trying to get homework done, on my part, was just a struggle.

All the best,
Susan

When my son was in 1st grade, I would try backing off and setting a timer for a 5-minute break, and then try again. For learning sight words, I tried to sneak them in at different times during the day. I would hand him a flashcard to read during breakfast, in the bathroom, at the grocery store, and write them on the tub with bath crayons. I had his eyes checked. I also make sure the print is large, the font is plain, and that there aren't many words on the page to intimidate him. For reading a book, I would take turns with him reading a page and then I'd read a page because he would get tired. Sometimes rewards have helped, like an M&M for each page read, or a fun activity when all the work is done.

I also let the teachers know when he's having trouble with certain homework. He's in 2nd grade and I've been through this with 4 teachers now. If I tell them that it is taking him 2 hours to write one paragraph, then they say oh, we never meant for him to spend that much time on homework each night. Then they will try to help him improve those skills at school, or decrease the amount of "busywork" such as copying each spelling word once instead of 3 times. Now he can do a lot of the homework on the computer.

my son is in 1st grade and used to do the same thing. Not sure how much homework yours is getting? Mine gets his all sent home on Monday for the week in a packet stapled together. So it's about 2 pages per night. I let him pick which 2 he's going to do and sit with him and keep him focused. I remind him as soon as he's done then he can play and that seems to help. I don't let him scribble or do a poor job. I tell him he needs to do it right the first time and lets just get it done. It has really helped. Also, I sell insurance, I'm not a teacher so I have no idea how to "teach" my kids. I ask the teacher to show me what they are doing so I can do the same thing. Ask the teacher for help also. Not sure if this helps or not but good luck!

getting the entire family involved and able to self manage their tasks is a difficult task for any family.

I work in the Technology field and one thing that I have seen work for development teams is agile methodologies incorporating scrum. Now you might not know what i'm talking about but luckely a Microsoft MVP in Team Systems, David Starr wrote up some white papers on how his family has incorporated agile methodologies into their family. I have seen this work over time with many families since David and his wife produced this document.

Links to his PPT and White Paper (IEEE) can be found at:

http://www.pluralsight-training.net/community/blogs/starr...

Good Luck - i hope this is useful.

I agree with the PP who suggested she needs more time to unwind. 1st grade can be very intense; lots of transitions, look here! look there! do this! do that! etc. She most likely needs time to be a kids, play and relax.

have you talked to her teacher about the homework. Is it necessary? Is it because it's required by the principal? Is it to bring her up to speed or just to give her 'practice'.

For us, I talked with my DDs teacher and asked if it's really, really necessary. Her teacher said she didn't believe in homework and she is required to give it per the principal. DD is ahead in all areas so I put the homework in front of her if she has nothing better to do. Sometimes she does it, sometimes not. Since I'm not a fan of it as this age, and neither is her teacher then I don't make it a stressful thing to complete it.

To many drills and practice isn't good for kids this young. Get your teacher's perspective on it.

Maybe it's just that she needs a little bit more time to unwind after school before starting on homework? With my daughter (since 1st grade) I would give her snack and about an hour to just "refresh her brain" before starting homework. That usually would be just talking about her day, what her and her friends played on the playground, coloring and so on. My daughter is now in 7th grade and we still talk before she does her homework. It always worked for us. Just a thought.

I'm sorry she's having a hard time. Two things came to mind. The first has been mentioned. Give her more time at home before starting the homework. This may be hard if you have to run errands before you get home or what not. I know it's hard to get everything in once you get home especially if you have extra activities. Maybe spend some special time with just the two of you (30 min or so) or let her relax in her room and play for a little bit. I'm sure she's coming home exhausted.

The other thing comes from my own experience in school. I was very insecure in school. I was always afraid of making a mistake or saying the wrong thing and looking "stupid" Even in 1st grade I can remember this; I was a shy kid. I wasn't pressured by teachers or my parents, this was just my personality. My mother actually told me that she would get calls from the school almost every day saying that I was in the clinic crying and saying I had a stomach ache. Now, I absolutely DO NOT remember this! I must have repressed the memories, lol. Have you asked her teacher what she's like at school? Does she interact? answer questions? If she answers questions ok at school and is happy, then it may be an adjustment at home that she needs.

Good luck! I wish you the best. Let us know how she does!

Awww....tough situation. My son is in first grade and his routine has been he comes home, washes his hands, pees, has a small snack and does his homework right away. If we wait til 6 or 7 it is a NIGHTMARE! I guess all kids are different. He only gets about 10 minutes of homework per night.
I also find if I leave him alone he breezes through it. The days my hubby is home with him it is more drawn out since my dh sits right near him breathing down his neck! LOL I guess you have to find her individual style and roll with it--good luck!

My daughter is in kindergarten at 6 yrs old. She gets a snack after she does the homework, but it is more like a special snack that she only gets for doing homework. She begs me to do homework.

Well each child is different and you have to consider the fact they are already cooped up learning and on task for about 6 hours per day. Then to come home and do it again??? I think that would be quite irritating for me as well.
However I have twins that are in 1st grade and they do much better when told to do their homework right after or even during their snack because they know the sooner they get it done the sooner and longer they have to play but with your child you may need to do some experiementing. Allow her to come home and unwind for about 30 minutes to an hour and THEN have her sit down to the work and see if that helps any. IF that doesn't work I think some of the other suggestions already mentioned are really great ideas and try those out. With mine if I wait for them to start their homework....well lets just say it makes me ILL!!!

This is my opinion of homework: http://stophomework.com/

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Personally, I think school is exhausting, especially when you are 6 and 7 yrs. old. You have to be attentive, on task and focused much of the day. They allow little time for fresh air and exercise. I give my kiddoes time to unwind when they get home - snack & playtime. We do not allow TV or non-school related computer afterschool Mon thru Thurs. If the weather's nice they play outside for 30-45 min, if it's raining or too cold they can look at books (not expected to read), draw, play academic computer games or just hassle/bug each other.

We do not wait more than an hour after they get home to start homework. When my kids were younger all their teachers assured us that 1st grade homework should not take more than 30 min. - not more than 15 for writing/math and 15 min. for reading. If it took longer all the teachers said to stop after 30 min. and let them know and they will look into helping more in class.

Give your dtr control over when she wants to do her homework. She can start right after school or she can start within an hour. Sometimes it's just a control issue. Once they can control the decision the power struggle is gone. I'm not a big fan of bribes ofr homework. School work needs to be done regardless. While I do earn a paycheck, I do not get daily incentives to go to work everyday. These are just life skills that you show your kids early on.