Help Help Need Sleep and Little One Doesnt Want to Sleep

My 20 mo old just did the same after climbing out of her crib and scaring herself. She wouldn't go to sleep for me, so now Daddy puts her to bed and she does just fine. Try switching things up a bit.

Hi M.,

Could she maybe be cutting her molars? My daughter didn't nap or eat or want to play for a while when her molars were errupting. My guess would be that it's either that, or she's about to accomplish some new developmental milestone (could be mental -- not just physical). I would try to stick to the schedule as best you can, and if she's not back to her usual rhythm in a week or two, call your pediatrician.

Best of luck -- hang in there!
R.

M., I would check for the teeth thing and also her ears. If neither of those then it may be that she just doesn't need as much sleep. My kids always took a good nap but sleeping from 8 to 8 is a long time to sleep and still have a nap. Maybe wake her a little earlier in the morning or shorten the nap time. Is she hungry? maybe in the night she is getting hungry. I always gave a bowl of cereal or good snack before bed so they didn't wake up hungry. But again I would suggest getting the ears checked. inner ear infections can make you dizzy. she may be having issues like that. good luck
S.

I feel for you and crying it out is not the answer in this case since she was doing fine before.
Have you taken her to the pediatrician? Something similar happened with my daughter and it turned out that she had an ear infection. They don't have to have a fever or pull at their ears. Sometimes the only indicator is that they have pain laying down. Does she suddenly scream and cry on the changing table, too? Also, the ear pain is often worse at night. My daughter was miserable for a couple weeks every night before I took her in and found out it was an ear infection. She, too, would wake up suddenly screaming like she was being harpooned! I felt so bad! Have her ears checked!
BTW: If it is an ear infection, get some garlic ear oil and heat it by putting in a mug of warm water. As soon as the oil hits the ear they feel immediate relief. I dreaded having to put oil in her ears bc I thought she would fight me but I cradle her while her dad puts the oil in and it is so soothing she has never fought us on it. You can put it in their ears as often as needed. I find it works wonders and for a few hours at LEAST.

My daughter did the same thing around that age, going from 11 hours of sleep a night to 9, and refusing her nap, or only sleeping for half her normal time.

Hang in there. It will pass. I wish I had some suggestions, but I don't. I don't even remember what I did for my daughter. I think I let her cry a bit, but I would comfort her or take her out of her crib if she was really screaming.

I highly recommend these resources....

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

"Distressed Babies Need to be Held"
http://www.mothering.com/crying-comfort-distressed-babies...

As the mother of a former high-need child, I also highly recommend a lot of holding and rocking and nursing. You might find this book by Ashley Montagu (an anthropologist) to be helpful.

http://www.amazon.com/Touching-Human-Significance-Ashley-...

I also highly recommend using a lambskin specifically designed for baby-use (they are real lambskin but can be laundered as needed).

http://www.sheepskintown.com/baby-sheepskin-short-wool-p-...

http://www.kiwi-sheepskins.com/detail.asp?product_id=BA001

http://www.sheepskinfurs.com/27-baby-lambskins.html

You might also find some help by taking a look at this book, which is probably in your local public library (or at least available through inter-library loan)...

http://www.amazon.com/Family-Bed-Concept-Child-Rearing/dp...

It seems to me that if she's waking up more now than she was before then perhaps that is a clue that something is not working for what she needs at this stage of her life. Perhaps she is going through some kind of developmental stage that she is finding to be very challenging. Cooperation with what a baby needs (rather than expending a lot of energy in fighting those needs) often makes everybody happier and healthier.

I do not recommend letting her cry it out. I believe that that kind of treatment causes a deep grief in babies, which can leave internal emotional scars for the rest of their lives (unless they get treatment for it).

I also disagree with the belief that if you don't let her cry it out, then for many years you will have a child who will not transition to a more grown up style of sleeping. The people who practice attachment parenting, in which the parents respect the needs and natural growth patterns of their children, have found that the opposite is true. Those children who frequently have their requests for holding and nursing and sleep needs denied are the ones who are most commonly the fearful and tense and clingy ones. Those children who are constantly respected and made to feel heard, and who get the amount of holding and nursing and physical contact that they ask for, are the ones who are peaceful and self-confident and more likely to move on to separations from their mothers at a normal pace.

I often think that people who suggest the cry-it-out method might feel differently about the issue if they would think about how they themselves would feel if they were asking and asking and asking for love and holding and attention and comfort and reassurance and a listening ear, and getting ignored by their loved ones (husbands, family, friends, pastors, or whoever their support network is), and then sobbing and sobbing and sobbing for that, and still getting ignored by their loved ones.

When a baby starts waking up more times in a night than s/he had been for awhile, it simply means that s/he is going through some kind of change or development stage in which s/he NEEDS more holding or nursing or something, NOT that they are somehow regressing in a negative sense. When we ignore those needs, we are not being sensitive to or caring for our babies' legitimate growth processes and changing needs. The baby has no way of reading the mind and knowing of the good intentions of her/his mother. The baby can only feel ignored and unheard and abandoned and alone and very, very, very profoundly sad and grief-stricken.

Best wishes,
J.

Have you felt around her mouth to see if she's getting any new teeth? Sounds like what happens when molars are coming in. I went through the same thing with my oldest. My little one who has his first 2 teeth popping through never made a peep about it but my oldest cried/woke up/fought his sleep with every single tooth. Every kid is different but that would be my guess. Feel around and see what you find. Maybe give her a tiny dose of Tylenol before bedtime and see if that helps. Plus remember, all children go through sleep cycles. She may be resetting her schedule or just adjusting to her new home.

I would check teeth and ears first to see if there are any issues. Sometimes when babies are hitting a big developmental milestone, it can affect their sleep for a while. Good news is, it usually settles down on its own.

My daughter was like this right around the 15/16 month mark. If I wasn't really busy at work, I would not have made it through. I know how you feel. And crying it out is not going to do anything. I gave her Tylenol to try to help a bit. Having something cold to chew on didn't seem to help for her but you could try rubbing her gums with a cold cloth. For my daughter, her molars were coming in. She is now back to pretty much sleeping all night.
I do not remember my first kids going through this as bad.

Hi M.,

While I don't see anything wrong with Crying it Out, I would just say make sure that the baby is feeling well. Maybe get her ears checked out and check to see if she is getting some new teeth in? If no to both of these and she is 100% feeling well, than I would go back to crying it out. Go in every 15 or so to pat her back, say I love you, and then leave the room. Should get better in a couple days. The only other thing is that she may be ready to leave the crib if she hasn't already. My daughter who was a great sleeper, suddenly turned into a monster at about 2 yrs old. We moved her into a low to the ground twin bed from IKEA and she practically ran to the bed! She slept the whole night and we never had another sleep issue. The poor thing must have been all cramped up in her crib! Its worth a try if nothing else works. We took the crib down and put up the bed while she wasn't home, so we wouldn't have any "I want my crib back issues" Out of sight, out of mind. Good luck!