Help! I Need Some Sleep!

Updated on January 27, 2009
J.H. asks from Vancouver, WA
14 answers

I am so tired! My 14 month old was sleeping through the night until about two weeks ago when he started teething and got sick. Now he is back to waking up 1-2 times again, sometimes he goes right back to sleep, other times i have to give him a bottle and other times, like right now at 3am, he is wide awake. i cant help but be super cranky because I am so tired! Its hard to let him just cry because my husband needs his sleep for his early workday, and because of my daughters need to get her sleep for school. i am so useless the next day and its starting to take a toll on my mood and energy levels. we have tried making sure his full prior to bedtime but it doesnt seem to matter! He is in bed by 10 pm, (because if when he goes to bed any earlier, he is back up around 11 or midnight) and is always awake by 7 am. he takes a nap at 10 am and one at 3-4 pm, ive tried eliminating the last nap but he either gets super grouchy or tries falling asleep early in the evening and we are back at square one...

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So What Happened?

You moms were all so right! I put my 14 month old to sleep at 8pm, he woke up around 10 cried for like 30 seconds and went back to sleep until the middle of the night, did the same thing, I let waited to see if he'd go back to sleep before i ran in, and he did. I have to admit I think the hardest part was the 30 seconds of listening to him cry, but he woke up soooo happy at 8am! Thank you so much, I feel so much better and refreshed!

Featured Answers

M.B.

answers from Seattle on

J.,

I agree with the other Moms. Try eliminating the morning nap, any moving his bed time earlier.

My daughter is 22 months and has a similar problem. Her bed time is 8pm. She'll wake up anywhere between 5 and 7 am. Usually I can bring her in bed with me and she'll go back to sleep (she's a Mommy's Girl to the bone). On the days that she takes an "early" nap, around 10 am or so she's a nightmare by 3pm. If I can hold her off until 11 or later she does lots better. If she just completely skips the nap all together she's usually asleep just after 7 and sleeps.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

BTW, GO JR!!!!

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T.A.

answers from Portland on

Hi J.,

I know how this goes, when my son was that age he literally slept only 3 hours at night. He was taking two naps also. at 11 and again at 4. I found that when I changed his naps it helped.. instead of him going down at 11am I put him down at 1:30. then he didnt want the afternoon nap. He did fight it the first couple weeks, but now he sleeps so well.
He goes down at 7pm, wakes up at 7am and only takes one nap during the day.

I promise it will pass.. your lil one is probably growing also. and that will keep them up. well i hope this helps a lil.

oh also something you could try. tea. Chamomille tea. it helps them sleep. my son loves it.

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C.A.

answers from Portland on

I had this problem as well and was stunned to discover that moving nap time and an earlier bedtime solved the issue. My son was becoming overly stimulated and, for some weird reason, it meant waking up sometime up to four times a night!!! I was soooo tired and I snapped at everyone all the time. His bed time was anywhere from 9:30-10 and he'd wake up at 6 on the dot. So he went to a single nap at noon and a 7 bedtime. It took a week of fighting with him, but he went from noon - 2 for a nap and from 7-7 for night. I hear your pain and I hope something works out soon for you.

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A.C.

answers from Portland on

Maybe try an earlier bedtime? 10 seems kinda late and he may not be getting enough sleep. Maybe he wakes up when you guys go to bed, because he hasn't been asleep for very long. I would try putting him down at 7:30-8:00. You will be surprised how much sleep they need at this stage. And if he is teething, you could always try rubbing orajel on his gums when he wakes up, but don't give him the bottle, it is only starting a bad habit! Good luck to you. This too shall pass. Instead of taking his afternoon nap away, let him nap, and nap with him!

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C.K.

answers from Seattle on

Hi J.,
I agree with the one mom, that he probably needs an earlier bed time. At this age, if he is taking his 2 naps fine, I would keep them if that works for you. My daughter goes down at night at 7:00-7:15 and sleeps until 6:00ish (I would love for her to sleep until 7:00). I think he needs to be in bed sooner.
good luck! Sleep deprivation can take its toll on us!
C.

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S.H.

answers from Portland on

Hi,

Just because he is awake, you don't have to be. Let him know he has to be quiet because everyone is sleeping- it's night time. I told my daughter she didn't have to sleep, but she had to be quiet! Then, give him headphones with music to listen to and/or books to look at. You go back to bed and eventually he will fall asleep again too. If you are there with him, you are keeping him awake because he wants to interact.

I would still push getting rid of the afternoon nap. It takes a while to start a different routine, but he will get there. If he is super grouchy, give him his bath at that time- most kids love the water and he will not be so grumpy.

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J.L.

answers from Corvallis on

My daughter did the same thing right after she turned one. I too tried everything that i I could possibly think of to get her back to sleep and not wake the rest of the house. Though her bedtime has always been around 8, and she would wake about 4ish. I would bring her out in the livingroom and keep all the lights off (left the bathroom light on so I could see a little). I would let her play but ignore her when she would come up to me (I would lay on the couch and pretend to sleep). After 2 or 3 days of this she stopped. She realized that mommy wasnt going to play and it was sleep time.

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J.W.

answers from Seattle on

He could still be hurting from his teething or not feeling well yet. Yes, it's frustrating getting up in the middle of the night. Don't let him cry it out. You're not spoiling him to go in and pick him up, snuggle him, rock him to sleep. You'll sleep better, he'll be a happier, healthier baby. You're developing a sense of reliability and trust... that if he hurts, if he needs you, you'll be there. 14 months is too early to expect him to be in control of his surroundings and body. Many adults aren't at 40 yrs of age.... they need to talk to someone at 2 am in the morning when things are hurting them, either physically or emotionally. Don't keep him up in the afternoon, let him have his nap if he's up until 10 pm to sleep thru the night. Sweet dreams!!!

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L.H.

answers from Seattle on

Hi J.,
Your son may actually need more, not less, sleep. At 14 months of age he should be getting somewhere between 12-15 hours of sleep per day. Try putting your son to bed early. Also I would recommend liquid Ibuprofen before bedtime to help with teething pain. Make bedtime consistent & stick to your routine. He should be going to bed at about the same time every day. If he goes to bed at 8 pm & wakes up again at 11 or midnight, keep the room dark & don't talk. Just use the same techniques you used to put him to bed at 8 pm to help him fall back to sleep. You may want to try running a white noise machine at night. Hope this helps.

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J.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hey J. - My daughter's sleep patterns get interrupted when she's teething. This has taken some getting used to on my part because my first two girls just sort of woke up with teeth - they barely had any of the normal issues. So it's taken me a while, but almost every time since teeth started coming (she's got all 8 now and is working on a 1 year molar) giving her Hyland's Teething Tablets when she wakes up helps. She knows what they are, and readily uses her little pincher grasp to put them in her mouth! I don't give my kids Tylenol/Motrin, mainly because I don't need to, and it makes them feel groggy and crappy (or at least it must, because they act that way on the few times I've given them some). The teething tablets are a Godsend!! Coupled with cuddling, my husband is usually only in there for about 15 minutes before she's back asleep. (If I go in she thinks she gets to nurse.)

Good luck!

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V.R.

answers from Portland on

I agree with the earlier bed time. My first child at that age went to bed around 7pm and slept til around 6 or so. My two year old likes to stay up til mom and dad go to sleep, but at least she sleeps all night.

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Z.A.

answers from Seattle on

Sleep begets sleep.

Odd, isn't it? For the first 5 years of his life the later we put our son to bed, the earlier he got up. It seems to be near universal, the same has been true with every other mum I've met.

I think the other mums are dead on with moving bedtime earlier. Just make sure to try changing him & feeding him right before you go to bed. That way he won't wake up wet and hungry...because you've already woken him up and taken care of that. If YOU are the one waking him up, you stand a better chance of keeping him drowsy, since the lights will be off...he'll be warm...and then full of warm milk and a dry diaper...and then back off to dreamland. If he's teething put a little ibuprofen in his bottle, and if you use it, oragel/numgum on before you put him back down.

Other things to try:
- Consistant noise ... like music playing gently in the background.

- Consistent light ... doesn't actually exist. Young children are especially sensitive to light. WE know it's only 5 o'clock, but to them it's dark out. or conversely, WE know it's only oh-dark-thirty, but to them it's dawn. We found we had the best luck with sleep consistency when we changed the bedtime routines to coincide with sunrise sunset. Pretty much and hour later in the winter, and an hour before in the summer. So our son got a LOT of sleep in the winter and less in the summer...pretty much until he learned to tell time. It's a pretty natural thing to do. Rise and fall with the sun.

So too, these little reversions are common, especially in times of stress...like illnesses and teething. He may just be needing a little extra snuggle time.

If you have a supportive spouse you could try two on, two off, with trading getting up in the middle of the night. Pretty much ANYONE can handle losing a little sleep a couple nights a week. Nearly NOONE can handle losing sleep everynight...and one day on one day off doesn't really give anyone's body time to recoup...it's just endless OMG it's my night again.

Of course, my hubby never got up in the night, ever. Well twice. I learned the two on, two off trick from a friend who came to stay with us for a month. If yours won't give you a break either, try hiring a babysitter so you can get a nap in in the afternoon.

Good luck.
This too, shall pass. Not as quickly as you'd like, probably, but it will get back to "normal" soon.

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E.K.

answers from Seattle on

If you think this is still teething related, I am wondering if you have tried giving him motrin/tylenol. You can even use both at the same time (talk to your dr/nurse about how to do it). I find that that is helpful because then I know whether my child is waking up due to pain, or if she just "wants" me. If she just wants me, I try to do the cry it out thing to get them back to a schedule. If your kids/husband need to sleep, try giving them earplugs when they go to sleep. One or two nights of crying may help you get back to where you were before.

I do agree with the other postings that 10pm bedtime seems late for most kids his age, but you know him better than I do!! :-)

Most of all - good luck and get some sleep! I feel for you!! The good news is that this WILL pass and not last forever - it just seems like it right now!

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K.B.

answers from Portland on

try taking away the morning nap...keep him up for about 5-6 hrs, milk...then he will nap longer, and go to bed early and stay asleep

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