Help I'm Addicted

I would die if I had to keep my brain on learning mode every waking moment, so no I wouldn't do that to my kids either.

Down time is good for everyone & everyone needs their *own* space too. I cannot be doing something with my kids every waking moment nor would they want me to.....everything in moderation.

Just unplug it and forget you have it. Television reduces children's language and creativity. Get them engaged in games to play together, get them books they can "read," interactive toys, and toys that foster imagination. Or maybe even play with no toys. Remember making a fort in the living room using pillows and blankets and a couple chairs? Or make a rocketship or racecar out of a big box they can sit in. Or give them pota and pans so they can 'make dinner.' Or.....

Why are you so stressed over this?
What works for you WORKS for you!

Stop worrying about what the Jones' are doing with their kids and why they can play the piano with their toes at 12 months old.

Don't you think it's a leeeeeetle ironic that Tiger Moms don't allow tv for their children to watch, but they allow tv shows to tape them and follow them around so the world can watch them**?? (well, I'm scratching my head trying to read the underlying 'principal' they're claiming there)

Turn & look at your children.
Are they awesome? Are they happy? Do they meet your standards of angelic perfection (not Suzie Jones' standards; yours)?

then that's what is important!

I agree with moderation and balance.

Same token, I couldn't homeschool HALF as effectively as I do WITHOUT the TV/ Computer. And not just the educational programming (anyone seen Walking With Dinosaurs/Prehistoric Beasts/etc??? Documentaries these days are NOT the boring ones we sat through)... but also the ability to bring and *entire world* alive in your living room! I'll amp my 8yo up for studying Ancient Greece with *scenes* from 300 or Ancient Rome with scenes from Rome, Gladiator, etc. We can poke through museums half a world away, we can use 3d models of space or have Carl Sagan be our teacher for an afternoon! We can watch ballets and operas in our jammies. We can ride in the Tardis with Doctor Who. Fiction, nonfiction... the TV &/or computer can be an utterly *astounding* tool as far as education goes.

Ditto, when kiddo's sick we'll marathon Pink Panther, or sing along with My Fair Lady.

IMHO extremes no matter WHAT they are (food, entertainment, religion, work) tend to miss out on a lot of the amazing variety that life has to offer. I know I'll never look back and think... GEE... I wish I hadn't snuggled with my son watching a movie when he was still young enough to want that to be me.

Everything in moderation.....

I dont think the TV is evil, it has it's place. It creates many thought provoking conversations between you and your kiddos. I think it's more reasonable to let them watch some TV rather than none at all since they will get exposed to it somewhere and without your guidance when it happens.
It's one of the great tools you can use to teach the difference between what is "real" and what is "drama".

I let my kids watch lots of tv & they are turning out great. Like you I am a SAHM. My hubby works 2 jobs so I can stay home, so like you its me & the kids most of the time. I too just need a break sometimes.

Prior to being a SAHM I was a HS teacher & coach. I've known all kinds of parents. Super strict to super lax. I've found two things. The BEST kids (happiest, hardest working, least troublesome) come from homes where they KNOW they are loved. That means telling them you love them everyday (even when they are teens & pretend they don't want to hear it). And being involved in their life. Going to their games, practices, school events. And doing what you are already doing (reading & playing). You don't need to be involved in every second of their lives.
The next most important thing...you need to be comfortable with what you are doing. Kids need consistency. They need to know what to expect from you & what you expect from them. You don't have to be perfect. Just be you. Don't try to be other people. It sounds like your kids are turning out great already. Be proud & keep doing what you are doing.
Finally...kids from super strict houses tend to rebel either in HS or college. Kids from super lax houses tend to have problems dealing with rules in HS. (This is not true for every kid, but a generalization from my experiences). Most kids come from houses with in between discipline. And they turn out fine.
Good luck.

I think you should give yourself a break. Honestly! It's not like your kids are parked in front of the TV 24/7. So they have a little time to chill out and veg, it's not hurting anything!
If you want to limit the accessibility to TV, turn off the satellite and get an atennae. Satellite isn't in the budget for us, so we just have and antennae. We're limited to what we can watch. My kids watch PBS in the mornings. They're all educational shows and most of the time we watch them together. My oldest learned a lot of her letters from Super Why. Wonder Red taught her about rhyming. Dinosaur Train taught her the difference between herbivores, carnivores and omnivores, she can name most of the dinosaurs from a picture. We did some great science experiments the other day based on the stuff we learned about on Sid the Science Kid. So, not all TV is bad!
My 3 year old has movie time in the afternoon as her rest time. She's smart, well adjusted, very active, social, healthy, etc.

I don't think no TV ever is the right approach. We were with out a TV when I was a kid. When I went to my grandparents house or to a friends that had cable, all I did was watch TV. When I went to college, I had limitless access to TV and that's almost all I did for the first few months of college.

So, set some realistic limits. Say that you're only going to watch 30 minutes of TV at a time. Or if they watch a movie in the afternoon, then everyone does something active after. It's all about moderation. Don't beat yourself up!

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I am on the same page as you work from home and little kids around, husband gets home late. We don't have cable and only watch DVD's. So although we watch the TV it is on more than I would like. The only solace I have is that they are not subjected to commercials. So much so that we had access to cable for a day and my son kept telling me the DVD was broken because it kept going to commercial and he couldn't figure out where his show was going! Ha Ha!

Oh dear - this answer is going to be long. I was laughing as I read your post, though. I know it's a serious question, but I like your style!

Well, I've never heard of that book you started with. So I can't discuss it from that standpoint.

But it's SO easy for nonstop or nearly nonstop TV to happen! It's like wallpaper (well, some wallpaper) or the clutter on top of your fridge - pretty soon you don't even notice it, and if you do, you wonder how it happened and whether the world would come to an end if you did something about it.

Let's talk about you first. You might have withdrawal symptoms if you try turning the set off for longer than you're used to. Some people are really spooked out by a quiet house with no TV noise in it.

But you can give it a try. For yourself, you might substitute something like radio or CDs (music you like or things your children like) if the quiet makes you nervous. Some people set timers for fifteen or thirty TV-free minutes, to start. I'm not kidding - it helps some people to do it that way.

The backbone of good television usage is knowing where the power button is. Watch television DELIBERATELY. If there's a program you like, turn it on and watch that show. When the show is over, don't hesitate: turn the set off. That's the hard part. Be strong. Be adventurous.

One thing that may happen is that you find you have a lot more time, even as a busy SAHM whose husband is away. TV simply EATS time. I'm tired, myself, and I just finished watching "Extreme Makeover Home Edition," too, and now turning off the set gives me a chance to do some writing (after I finish this), something I wouldn't be doing if I had let the TV stay blasting. It's just NOT good background noise for being creative.

Control the machine. You may choose to let your children watch something that is good for them or that you know they enjoy. And if it helps you fix supper, well and good. But let that be a minor part of their total day. You want to ensure that the best part, the best thing, of their day is playing outside or reading with Mama or talking to each other at suppertime. Get the idea? Once you're reaching that point on a pretty regular basis, you're starting to conquer the TV beast.

And it's a good idea to start doing this now, because when your children get older they may demand to watch what "everybody" watches, and you need to have already practiced saying no.

If they're old enough that they can ask you questions about your shows and it makes you uncomfortable to have to answer, it's time to re-think what you watch. Sad but true - you're the grownup so you have to do that. Some of my grown children have that gizmo that will record those shows for them to watch at a more convenient time - like after the kids are fast asleep. When my children were still growing up, having no such gizmo, I had to give up - are you ready for this? - "Masterpiece Theater"! The kids called me on the carpet for some things being shown on that highbrow entertainment venue, and I couldn't come up with a good defense, so I had to say goodbye to it. I had thought it MUST be exempt because it was on PBS.... A month later I couldn't imagine going back to the program. I had better things to do.

Your kids are young but they can start, with only a little help from you, to find other things they can do instead of TV - playing outside, drawing, building with blocks or legos, playing with other toys or dolls, whatever. Those things are good for the brain even if they're not "structured" activities. At their ages, if you don't miss the tube, they won't.

I repeat: in my humble opinion, you don't necessarily have to forbid TV - unless you want to - to be a good mama. Just make viewing a minor thing instead of a major one for all of you. Dvds can come in really handy when children are sick, or you're sick, or there's an emergency. That's fine. It's like going to a movie at home. But you wouldn't live in a movie theater, and you wouldn't want your children to.

Hope all this rambling helps a bit - I didn't intend to lecture. Maybe I should go watch something instead of letting this answer get any longer. Um, no. :^)

Hi! I can totally relate, I am an SVU addict too. I have had it on only occasionally during the day though and I make sure the kids are not in the room. Mostly i watch it at night after they are in bed. I am a single Mom with a 3 and 5 yo so I don't get any breaks ever. So yes, I let my kids watch some TV(mostly videos). Usually it is when I am making meals and then when they are eating, not the best habit, but most of the rest of the day they spend playing and watch only during meals. Occasionally they watch more, especially in the mornings. But for the most part they don't. We were at my Mom's the other day and she had a movie on TV and my daughter kept asking what happened to the show when commercials came on. It was pretty funny, but it was good that they don't watch enough regular TV to know that. I do think my kids spend a bit too much time watching dvds, but like you I am all there is and I have no help, so the TV is my help and my sanity at times. I would say if you want to cut back on it, start small. Try limiting your shows to when they are in bed or playing in another room(which is tough since we only have a living room, kitchen and two bedrooms, one of which is mine, and a basement. But it can be done. I wouldn't try to spend all my time doing with the kids since you will just get burned out quick. We all need to step back. Right now my kids are playing as I type. Anyway, good for you for looking at this topic!

Hi, A.:
There is a process to change:
1. Precontemplation: Not aware that anything needs to be changed.
2. Contemplation: You are aware that you want to change.
3. Preparation: Planning how you are going to change. Put down on paper what you want to change.
4. Action: Put your plan into action.
5. Maintenance: You are putting into action your plan and it is working or
you change what is not working.
6. Termination: You have accomplished what you planned to accomplish.

Hope this helps.
Good luck.
D.

Hi! I don't have time to read all of your responses, so I hope I don't repeat. I love TV too! Don't beat yourself up too much, although I guess we all know too much isn't good for kids.

When I felt like I was leaning toward too much (mostly in the winter like now!) I would just limit myself and the kids with some "rules." Choose the times and the shows that you MUST watch and have your kids do the same. I find that my kids play MUCH better and use their imagination when the TV is off and it is quiet. So, make it a goal that it will be off for periods of time during the day. Just say no and that is it.

Once I went to Papermart and bought a roll of raffle tickets. I gave each kid three tickets for doing three chores. (Make bed, get self dressed and brush teeth?) Then, I would let them "cash in" the tickets for a half hour show. If the show was an hour, they would give me 2 tickets. This worked beautifully! They really THOUGHT about what they wanted to watch. This is what you want to teach your kids. This might be hard with three kids though!

Best of luck to you! You sound like a great mom trying to do the best for your kids. TV is a hard habit to break! Sounds like you just want to cut back a bit. It won't be too hard!

I'm totally addicted too. TV is the only way I get anything done at all at home. However, we have friends who just told their kids the television broke and went cold turkey. Thats one way to deal with it to your kids, but as for your sanity. I don't know what to offer you.

We don't do tv. And yes it takes way more time. Generally DH will play with DS while I make dinner, or I play with him while DH makes dinner. More recently (he just turned 5), DS is able to play by himself for a while and occasionally we get to make dinner together (like before we had a kid :). I have spent what feels like thousands of mind numbing hours playing lego. Our tv broke when DS was about 6 months old and we did not replace it until last year, so in that way it was easy - it wasn't available. Also the current American Academy of Pediatrics recommendation is zero screen time before age two - not moderation. Two hours a day of tv is 14 hours a week - that is two full days of preschool.

This is such a tough question because everyone's situation is just a little different. I have a 3 year old, who goes to daycare 2 days a week. On "School days" he gets one 24 minute long On Demand show-- I have about a half a dozen shows that I am ok with him watching ranging from Little Einsteins to Zooboomafoo. He can pick one. Otherwise the TV is not on when he's up. On days when we're home, he can pick 2 of these 24 minute On Demand shows-- usually one in the late morning and one when either I'm fixing dinner or after dinner. I use those times to their fullest extent-- it is amazing what you can pack into 24 minutes. I do my work (either housework or work work) during naps or when he's asleep. And we don't ever have TV on as background. I basically don't have time to watch TV myself, but if I want to, I watch it "On Demand" when he's asleep.

I pretty much engage my son all the rest of the time, but we aren't playing all that time. Sometimes he's helping me with the laundry, or we're at the grocery store, or I set him up with a crayons or paint or whatever so I can have 5 minutes to send off an email. But, that's with one kid. If I had 3 under 5, with (essentially) no help, I'm sure my kids would be watching a lot more TV too.

I don't think TV is inherently a bad thing. Everyone likes to just chill out from time to time, and when they are too young to curl up and read a book by themselves, what else is there to do? But, like sweets, it is easy for TV to be something that we are constantly "munching" on, rather than a special treat. My son watches much less TV than I did at that age, and I turned out ok. :-) I think as long as you are keeping it under 2 hours a day (and by that I mean that the TV is on at all, even if they aren't staring at it intently), you are doing just fine. :-)

I watched tv growing up and my kids watch tv-appropriate shows only. I turned out just fine and my oldest child is one of the most advanced in his class. I see nothing wrong with kids watching tv while dinner is prepared or when you're getting dressed and need some time alone. As long as the shows are age appropriate and they aren't sitting there all day in a daze, then a little tv won't hurt them.

I personally don't think it's bad for children to watch some TV. Especially if it's age appropriate.
I don't know that I'm addicted to TV, but I certainly enjoy it and I think I might go nuts without it. I watch the news and the History Channel, I love PBS and documentaries.
I also watch Law & Order, but I have been watching it since the very first episode when it was brand new in like, 1990. My daughter was little and it came on late, so it wasn't an issue until my kids got older and they began having it on other channels as well. The theme music IS unmistakeable.

Some people feel there is nothing of value on television for children and it's a bad habit to let them find it entertaining. But is IS entertaining. When I was little, our big treat was the night Brady Bunch was on and our mom made popcorn. In a pan, on the stove. The microwave hadn't been invented yet. :)

My kids weren't ruined by television. In fact, my daughter is 24, lives on her own and only rents occasional movies.
My son is in high school and busy with his friends, activities, chores and schoolwork. I work my head off all day. I'm a voracious reader. But, I still enjoy television.
My very favorite show for the last several seasons has been "Mad Men" on AMC. That's really the only one, during it's season, that I make sure to never miss.

If you truly feel that you need to limit TV time for yourself and your kids, then do so. But, I wouldn't do it because of a book you read. I haven't read it, but from what I hear, it's not my style of parenting at all.

I wish you the best and can find a balance you are happier with, but it doesn't sound like you're doing anything awful to me.

Just my opinion.

It sounds like your kids are well balanced in their activities, helpful to you, able to play alone, and are getting lots of reading time and other time with you. You are managing a LOT on your own, and I just want to offer the opinion that a little tv does not have to be out of the question if it blesses your day and theirs, and helps you keep things together. Just use it carefully is my recommendation, in terms of time and choices. Find on the satellite or library educational shows - Between the Lions, Liberty's Kids, Magic School Bus, Sesame Street, etc. If you are Christian, look for the "Smile of a Child" network - wonderful faith-based and often educational prorgamming on the air 24/7. Needing a little down time or time to organize, work, make calls, etc - total understandable, especially in your situation. So my thought is that maybe you can start weaning down what they watch and then someday when they are a little older or your hubby is home more you might be able to make the leap altogether. Don't be hard on yourself about it, though - sounds like you are doing an amazing job in a hard sitation!

My son has a huge vocabulary, can count to 20 in english and 10 in spanish (thanks to Dora), knows his alphabet and is starting to read a few words. He is almost 3 1/2 and he watches at least 2 hours of TV/Movies a day. Moderation is everything. I don't allow him to watch TV all day long and honestly he doesn't want to watch TV all day long. He plays in his room, outside and I would say that we are at the park at least 3 or 4 days a week. My son is happy, smart and IMO well rounded. MOST important to me is that he knows that we LOVE him and are proud of the things he does.

When I read the Tiger Mom article I was asking myself if those mothers ever tell their children that they love them.

I didn't watch alot of TV growing up either but that is because we had no movies and only 3 channels that only played soap operas after 11am. My parents never had me in extra programs outside of school.

I was going to tell you that you're doing great, and that some tv is not the end of the world, but if you're letting children under 5 watch Law and Order: SVU, that's not cool. You need to keep their shows age appropriate. Sure, my kid watches some Doctor Who, but only episodes I've seen before and know arent going to be inappropriate, none of them involve violent sex crimes.

Otherwise, let them watch some tv. I learned how to count in english and spanish watching Sesame Street, and many children's shows now are even more educational, so I dont see a problem with using it in addition to the reading and other things you're doing.

I'm guilty of the TV... I battle with it, making sure it's in moderation but sometimes I just fail lol. I think it comes from how I was raised. I'd go out in play but if no one was out playing I'd watch tv all day or all weekend... my parents were very hands off and I think we were nuisances to them. I make a conscious effort to go outside with her a lot and play on the playground out back and I purposely buy a lot of outdoor toys so when I get in lazy day mode I have toys outside she can play with and we venture out back. She too knows spanish from Dora (a little from me but I jus started haha) and knows different things from umizoomi or some kid cartoon so I can't convince myself TV is like evil when she does learn stuff. I personally have to have a movie to finish everything in the house so I can't help you with that, but know that you are definitely not alone.

I'm buying crafty stuff from oriental trading to eat up what would normally be tv time.