Hello ladies. I live in the Springfield area and was recently served with divorce papers. It was a good day...I have been waiting for this for a long time. I currently have a restraining order against my husband because he A) attempted suicide in the house with my children home alone to find him...and B) for entering the home again on a later date to attack me and a friend...and then violated his court agreement to stay away from me yet again...and was placed under house arrest. Now, his divorce lawer is asking the courts to have me vacated from the house because I am behind on the mortage...i have ZERO money for an attorney (he on the other hand has mommy providing him with any cash he needs). I called the courts and asked if I could represent myself...to which i was told "yes" ...but that this was one messy situation and that I'd better have all my legal terms and rights well known. Hello!!! I don't! I'm dealing with two kids in therapy and a recent loss of my job....trying to keep the utilities on is a major concern... I'm not quite sure exactly what I'm asking for here...but I'm just reaching out...maybe someone knows something that can help me. Thanks for listening.
Do NOT represent yourself in a legal case involving your children. The odds are stacked against you! Get a loan, put the lawyer on your credit card, borrow money... whatever you have to do, but do not do this by yourself!
Good luck!
Find a free legal aid in your area, I know they have them for special needs children so you have to do some digging.
It amazes me and not in a good way how people will support a family member when they shouldn't.
Joanna
I wish I could be of more help, but the only advise I can offer is you need an attorney. Start asking arround - ask colleagues, friends, parents of your kids friends, maybe they'll know of an attorney that can help you out.
I don't know about the laws in your state, but here in California it's a "community property" state. Because of this, if one spouse can afford a good lawyer but the other can't - the richer half of the couple has to pay for the poorer one's lawyer.
Call legal aid and find out if this is the case in your state. Also I think they can file for alimony on your behalf right away, which may ease your financial troubles.
My heart goes out to you. I wish you the best of luck!
Dear H.,
Hind sight won't help you now, but you should have filed for divorce frst.
That said, you can counter sue with your own petition listing all the things you mentioned as to reasons, etc.
You CAN represent yourself, but you will get hammered.
Was there a police report for the suicide attempt and subsequent violations of the restraining orders?
Find a women's shelter in your are and ask for resources. Contact legal aide and victim/witness organizations to ask for referrals.
He is the one who filed so I would definitely request an immediate child support and spousal support order to keep you from losing the family home, etc.
Get help and keep your head on straight. Let him look like the lunatic that he is. HE"S causing problems and wants the wife and kids out of the house. It's a standard punishment tactic. My husband did the same thing when I left him. The courts ordered him to pay me enough to cover the mortgage, etc, and he didn't. He said he'd rather lose everything we put into the house than let me live in it without him. It made him look like a psycho, not to mention deliberately violating orders again.
You need help with this one.
Get the phone book and call attorneys A to Z. If people don't like his attorney or he has a bad reputation, you will know what you're up against.
My husband hired one of the best and most respected attorneys and he envisioned taking me to the cleaners. His attorney told him, under the circumstances, to do the right thing. That it would be best in the long run.
My husband canned him in a hot minute and hired a bull dog to rip my throat out. She was a woman, no less. She doesn't like women. Especially cute and smart ones. She dang near got my daughter from a previous marriage taken away from me. That's how far she was willing to go. She didn't win, but it was hell going through it.
You need someone in your corner to stand up for you if it gets that ugly.
I'll say a prayer for you.
My parnets are going through a divorce right now: dad has his own company makes $$$$$, Mom works fulltime in sales. My mom is borrowing money for the retainer fee and then as part of the divorce settlement my dad will have to pay for moms attorney. Also a temporary order was put into place so that my dad still had to pay the "house expenses" for my mom and my younger siblings that still live at home. HANG IN THERE! Find a way to get an attorney, even if you have to sell items on craigslist/Ebay. depending on how long you were married he may have to pay you alimony, child support etc. You don't know all the laws and things you deserve to walk away with! Good luck and this will only make you stronger. Also contact social services they will be able to help you with temp. assistance for your electric bills etc.
Updated
My parnets are going through a divorce right now: dad has his own company makes $$$$$, Mom works fulltime in sales. My mom is borrowing money for the retainer fee and then as part of the divorce settlement my dad will have to pay for moms attorney. Also a temporary order was put into place so that my dad still had to pay the "house expenses" for my mom and my younger siblings that still live at home. HANG IN THERE! Find a way to get an attorney, even if you have to sell items on craigslist/Ebay. depending on how long you were married he may have to pay you alimony, child support etc. You don't know all the laws and things you deserve to walk away with! Good luck and this will only make you stronger. Also contact social services they will be able to help you with temp. assistance for your electric bills etc.
Find a legal aid in your area! They will help you and its at low cost or free based on your income (which i know you said you just lost a job) .
Prayers for this to get over with soon.
