Help Me Please - Riverside,CA

Try telling him the truth. Look him straight in the eyes and tell him that Mommy and HIS baby sister love him and both thinks he is the greatest big boy in the world. Ask him if he can help Mommy change her by getting the diapers or something because he is Mommy's big little man. Every one needs to feel wanted and appreciated for their strength and greatness. It starts as we are children. Tell him how great he is -as he is- not what you want him to do. Give him some time with this technique. I have a 4 year old daughter and she is very independent. It is the only way I get her to do ANYTHING! Also as a Licensed Professional Counselor - I tried basically every theory in the textbooks...So far this is the one that works best for us. This one came from the Basic Instuction Book for Life Events. I refer to it for everything.

I have three boys. My younger son took forever to potty train. He did exactly what your son is doing. We finally decided on warm days he could run in the backyard without clothing on. By doing that, he was able to recognize the feeling of having to go potty. We then had a potty outside which he used after a short while. We then brought it inside and he did great.

First off, our pediatrician said, "No child ever starts college without being potty trained". Don't worry because XYZ mom and grandmom potty trained all their kids before the age of one or... you get the picture.
My son regressed from potty training because his father (my ex) punished him and pushed too hard to potty train.
I discussed this with our pediatrician and after age 3, not potty training for a boy is usually his choice and he is considered "potty training resistant". It's the one thing he can ultimately control and you CAN'T make him do.
She had suggested vehemently that we not discuss it with him at all. Not even ask him if he wanted to potty. My ex was not on board with this and his resistance continued for another 6 months. Finally, my ex got on board with the "not bringing it up" etc. We said one last time, when you're ready, you tell us and that was the last we said.
Within a few weeks, he was fully potty trained, on HIS terms. When he did choose to do it himself, we'd do the "potty dance" where he and I would march around the room singing "We just used the potty" like a congo chant.
He's 12 now and has never experienced bed wetting or any other problems.
I recently googled "potty training resistant" in order to answer a similiar question here and I found this (almost the exact same handout I received 8 years ago from the doc under advise)
http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/parenting_tips/potty_train...

With my daughter I switched to pull-ups ONLY! I also let her be naked as much as possible and told her DONT PEE PEE ON MOMMIES FLOOR! Then one day I showed her the "last" package of pull-ups and said this is all of them there are no more! She would pee in the tolite but when it came to the other she would just freek out so the last package of pull-ups were reserved for #2 ONLY! Then when that package was gone she didnt like it but she sat there and did her business and we celebrated when she FINALLY followed through! :0) Boys seem to be harder so I have noticed with cousins and nephews. Most moms say they will do it when they do it and dont rush them. Have you tried having your husband take him into the bathroom when he has to go....visual incouragment might help. I thought my sister-in-law had a wonderful idea...she made it a game telling my Nephew if you have to pee tell me and I will let you pee outside! my Nephew just thought this was wonderful and he told her everytime! She explained to him that this was only something that happens at home for fear of creating an exabitionist! Haha! I hope you get some good ideas fom us here at Mommasource...good luck to you!

Hi N. - I tend to agree with the other moms. I have a 6 year old daughter and a 4 year old son. Whenever I asked my daughter when she would use the potty, she would always respond "soon". So, I took a chance and used reverse psychology - I told her that I did not want her to be a big girl and that I wanted her to stay in diapers forever. At hearing this, she said "NO MAMA!" and was almost instantly potty trained. With my son, however, this did not work. He totally called my bluff. We just had to wait it out with him. It is a huge pain, I know, but I've never known any success stories when kids were truly forced. Hang in there!!

A.

I feel your pain : ) My daughter did the same thing where she would be really good about it for a while and then it was like she had no idea what a toilet was for. Last summer we went camping and she had to sleep in a tent and use a bucket for a toilet. I panicked when I realized we were in the middle of Yosemite and I had forgotten her pull-ups. To my complete amazement she never had a accident and has never had an accident since. She was completely potty trained. I don't know if it was because it was something different or if it was just that she really had no choice, but whatever it was it worked wonders. I am not suggesting that you drag your family camping, but maybe an experience similar would work- a weekend away somewhere without pull-ups or something. Anyway- good luck, we've all been there : )

One of my Moms had exactly this scenario!
Funnily enough she hadgreat success by telling the older boy that the baby was stinky and disgusting in her diapers

Sure, it sounds like a big negative, but the baby didnt know or care and it stopped him wanting to be like her!

So rather than matter of factly doing it you might want to try her way and make a face and say how nasty it is etc
Tell him ''Thank goodness he's only joking when he says he is a baby!'' Etc.
Not everything baby is great. Avoid letting him witness the bonding / fun element of the changing time with her.
Make your own special bonding times with him before bed and so on.
Good Luck

As a Mom who has been in a similar situation (My oldest son was not yet two when my second son was born and not yet three when my third son was born) I understand. My oldest also started regressing when my middle son was born and it became worse when my youngest was born. He wanted lots of attention which was hard to give with so much else demanding my time. At three (my son wouldn't even try to train before then) he knew how to control his bladder and bowels and just refused to. I also know it was hard on him to give up my undivided attention. I worked it out with my husband to watch the younger two a few times a week so I could spend some special one-on-one time with him so he would know how much I still loved him. I also let him know he was a big boy and started having him 'help' me take care of the baby(ies) in small ways: bringing me a diaper for baby, covering baby with blanket at nap time, helping me put laundry in the wash, etc. A lot of his acting babyish was just his insecurity thinking that baby had replaced him and I didn't love him as much. Once he knew he had not been replaced and that I loved him very much the potty training came easier. I tried the pull-up method and although they work for some, they did not work for us. My son looked at them as another diaper and they don't hold as much as a diaper and were sometimes quite messy for us. Instead we let him run around naked. Initially (before he was three) all this method did was give me more to clean off the floor :) After three, however he started running to the potty. We also had him go in the bathroom when Daddy went potty for visual reinforcement. It also helped him having a few older friends who were already potty trained. He could see them going to the bathroom and it helped him want to. I still had messes to clean, but less frequently. Part of potty training is time. If you try to force a child to train before they're ready you will become more frustrated and have more messes to clean and usually push your child more towards diapers than the toilet. It really is worth the lack of stress to try, and if they show no interest, let it go for a month or so and try again. Your son will not go to elementary school in diapers. I hope this helps :)

N., I hate to say this but you may just have to wait it out. My son is 4 and he just started wearing underwear last month. I thought it would never happen. Fortunately the preschool he goes to is very understanding and does not require kids to be potty trained to come to class. The director told me that her son was almost 6 before he was completely out of pull ups. We started at 2 and he just wasn't that interested. We did all the rewards, books, DVDs, bought the "cool underwear" and the only thing that really worked was just not making a big deal over it. I just gave up and started making him change his diapers. I would supervise and wipe, but he would take them off and put the clean dry ones on. We stopped pushing the potty and talking about the potty and basically just tried to ignore the whole thing. I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but it is what everyone told me. "When he is ready it will happen." Oh, and don't forget what my mom kept telling me, . . ."you never saw any kids in college wearing a diapers . . ." Just relax and be patient it will come. Oh one other thing, I am sure that your little girl will be much easier, my sister has a little girl who is almost 2 and she is already potty trained.