Help Me Talk My Husband Out of a STUPID Financial Decision

#1 cars are not investments. They depreciate. Period.

If he wants an Audi to drive in the winter, then sell the paid for car and replace it with the Audi.

Any other choice is just asinine in my opinion. If you have tons of money to waste, then fine. But it sounds like you have been waiting to buy a house for financial reasons... so it cannot simultaneously be the case that you can afford another $30k car (that will be depreciating along with the $40k one in the garage) and have to wait to buy the house you want.

It sounds like he is fixated on solving the winter driving problem and not seeing the obvious, you can actually drive the Audi in the summer as well.

Maybe try pointing that out to him.

Really the only car cool enough to be a summer car is a corvette. Now if he has a corvette I got nothin.

i wish i had enough extra cash that a beater car was 30k.

he's crazy!
Why not sell the insanely expensive car and get a good family safe car for all year round and rent a fun car a few weeks in the summer?

i think i'm too poor to understand having an expensive sports car. i mean i want one and want to have the money for one, but i could never justify it unless i was rolling in money

I suggest that the first thing you must do is to stop saying this is a stupid idea. Saying so is implying that he's stupid. He's not going to be able or willing to listen to anything else you have to say.

Start by saying you can see some reasons for this idea. Ask him to talk about them while you listen in a calm and non judgmental way. Then tell him your reasons for not liking the idea in a calm and unemotional manner.

Include in this conversation other possible ways to handle this situation. Brainstorm.

Then perhaps each of you write down the pros and cons of each idea that each of you settles on if you haven't come up with an alternative that is acceptable to both of you.

A possible alternative would be to sell the luxury car and as a compromise for you buy the Audi. Do consider that $30,000 for a new car is not all that out of line considering that he wants to drive a luxury car. Work on compromises as well as consider other possibilities You do this for his ideas and he does this for your ideas.

Know and accept that this is a situation that will not be resolved with a couple of quick conversations and will absolutely not be resolved if either one of you or both of you are not respectful of the other person and their thoughts. Saying an idea is stupid is gross disrespect. Being angry at the other person for their ideas is serious disrespect.

First get your anger under control and then open this up for friendly discussion.

I suggest that this situation is not the only situation in which you're angry and in disagreement. I suspect this is negatively affecting your relationship with your husband and your marriage as well as your children.

I suggest that you read up on non-violent communication so that you learn a better way of communicating. Here is their web site. http://www.cnvc.org/

Because your husband is of a different culture and mid-Eastern is about as different as one can get, I suggest that you'l be the one making most of the compromises. Perhaps you've accepted that already. I do know that you can influence his decisions somewhat more by using a different approach and different words while understanding and accepting his needs and wants based on how he is as an individual.

I also suggest that the first issue to resolve is priorities in spending your money. His priority is to have a luxury car which he can pass on to his son. (Note: He seems to have compromised for your concern about the expensive tires. Acknowledge that.) Your priority is saving to buy a house. Until you both agree on that first priority of how to spend money you will always have issues surrounding it's spending.

Sorry- but putting the car in the garage will NOT hold the value of his car. They go by age and miles...so while it may not get a lot of drive time - it will still need to be driven.

If my husband wanted a winter beater car - yep! Great idea!! As long as we can pay cash for it! If he wants to spend $30K? He can trade in his car and get a year round one for the value of his current car. And MAYBE if he gets a "Cheap" enough car - we can get money back!!

* Insurance - can you afford insurance on TWO vehicles?
* Taxes - I'm sure Illinois has property tax...you REALLY want to pay property tax on TWO expensive vehicles?

The garage car will still need to be driven to ensure the battery doesn't die and the belts don't get cracked from sitting...

Then you have something sitting in the garage you are NOT using. That's a HUGE waste in my book.

I've learned the hard way that cars are meant to be driven. They were not designed to sit.

About 10 years ago we bought a brand new car but with the idea of driving our older cars into the ground while garaging the new one. Rust developed on the new car and it sounded like there were chickens scratching in the glove compartment. My mechanic told me that rust had developed and there was nothing that could be done to stop it or fix it (without replacing part after part after part).

We ended up keeping that car only 7 years. We turned it in with a leaking head gasket, no air conditioning, and 3/4 of the windows wouldn't go up and down because of bad regulators, The car had less than 40,000 miles on it and was a POS despite trying to "baby" it.

The car that my husband replaced it with did not see very much action either. He used to have to a very short commute and now doesn't need the car at all. I made the mistake of not picking up the slack and when I went to drive it not too long ago I learned that the caliper had seized on it. Again my mechanic told me that it was from lack of use.

So while parking the car "to save" it sounds like a great idea on paper, I can tell you that it hasn't worked out for me and we are not talking the same make, model, or brand.

Oh and another thing... we recently learned that short trips aren't good for a car either because your battery never gets a chance to fully recharge. Yep husband learned the hard way when he tried to listen to the radio with the ignition in the 'accessory' position and the car died with my year old battery. So not only do you have to keep driving them but you need to do some substantial driving to keep it running in tip top shape. (BTW my battery, starter, and alternator all tested fine...)

LSS cars are meant to and need to be driven. There is no such thing as "saving" a car.

I don't have a pocket to put that in. So instead of buying $1000 tires every winter, he wants to spend $700 pmt and possibly $1800 a yr insurance and taxes and licensing. Plus general maintence of oil changes and tune ups, window wipers, and who's job is it going to be to go get that done on an extra car? Oops, there goes that check engine soon light! Oops, I forgot it was there/ I slid out of the driveway and hit our other car, which means insurance won't pay.

You have some good info here, between the Kelley Blue Book values and the complete run down of expenses of owning two cars.

Other than that, you can't cure stupid. Dave Ramsey.

Oh dear

I think car payments generally are a horrible idea. If your husband can afford a luxury vehicle, he should afford to be able to pay cash for a decent winter car no problem. If he can't, he shouldn't own a luxury vehicle....

I don't know how to convince your husband that car payments are a waste, as I don't know what makes him tick.

But try this, it always was an eye-opener, even for a frugal lady like me:

Find a decent GS mutual fund to where you could show him how much money he could have after ____ years if he contributed that car payment ($700) per month. Example, if you contribute $700 to "x" mutual fund, in 15 years you would have $850,000". Just do a bit of research and put the results right in front of his face. $700 a month is a lot of money!! And this is coming from someone who makes a good salary!

The bottom line is, if you had the money for these types of purchases, you wouldn't have to be making car payments. I really hope you can convince him! I am SO glad my husband is good with our money.

ETA: What he deserves is a payment-free life for his family. You don't "deserve" something until you can pay cash for it.

With his attitude, your income better be well into millionaire status......NET NOT GROSS!

You wrote in the SWH,

"For what he's spent on his car we already could have been in a new home."

Doesn't that argument sway him at ALL?

If not -- be prepared to spend the rest of your life in thrall to his cars, because this new Audi and the luxury car sitting in the garage depreciating are not going to be the last cars that he puts ahead of his family and their HOME. He is valuing his own utterly personal and selfish desires ahead of his family's needs. Maybe that argument would get him to come down to earth. If not -- you will never convince or change him.

Some folks are posting along the lines of "If you can swing it now, let him do it," but what about the future and saving for that future? You may be able to swing it now -- but:

If you have kids -- good grief, how will you pay for college if he's sinking this kind of money into cars? That $30,000 for the new Audi could be making money in investments, to pay for college fees. Does that argument also not work on him? Does he want to keep working and working to pay off college bills long after the kids are out of college?

What about your retirements? That $700 a month could be going into a retirement account. Does he prefer a car today or a better and more secure retirement when that time comes?

Priorities!

OMG.

Cars, loose value as soon as it is off the car lot.

So, he wants a seasonal, car.
Wow, just like a person's wardrobe.
There is no need, to buy an Audi... for his "winter" car.

The man, makes no sense.

My IL's have summer cars and winter cars (and summer homes and winter homes LOL). The summer cars are convertible roadsters. The winter cars are a Subaru Outback and something else that's practical. Sure the winter car isn't a crazy idea in and of itself - spending $30K on one is insane.

And who buys winter tires every year? That's just dumb - he knows he can reuse the ones from the prior season, right?

Probably the only way to win this one is to do a cost-analysis to see if it really is more cost efficient to get the 2nd car.

Lay out all the costs, expected mileage & gas costs, and final estimated value of the car for the next 4 years. Then lay out the costs, expected mileages & gas costs, and final estimated value of the 2 cars in 4 years time. Final estimated value can be based upon mileage and condition (just look at models 4 years older than yours to get an idea.) Don't forget to factor in insurance, registrations, oil changes, tires, etc into your cost analysis. Make him a part of the analysis. Tell him you'd love to support his decision, but you need to know in your own mind that this really makes sense.

I did this very thing when looking to trade in my gas guzzling van. I was shocked at how much money I wouldn't spend if I just drove the gas guzzler into the grave.

Have him buy his 'beater' outright. One time cost. I'm sure he can find a used Subaru or other all-wheel drive car for far less. (My dad is selling his, completely tricked out with heated seats, rack , etc. for only 7 grand.)

We don't do car payments either. We bought our old early 90s Honda about 7 years ago for $2,000. If you take good care of a decent used car, it will last a long time.

Sorry to your husband, but we would NEVER go for the situation you describe. Money funnel.

When he thinks that he "deserves" that much car, ask him what you and the kids deserve. Also, is he a religious man? if he is, you can use the idea, that the man is supposed to listen to the counsel of his wife in all things and to put her before everything but God. So, if by buying a winter car, and keeping his car now, and YOU want a new house, which one is he putting first. My parents are very religious, well my dad mostly, and this is a trick my mom learned to help "persuade" him when he does less than brilliant things. Luckily, he has never wanted to spend that much on anything like that, I think the biggest was his Quad for like $9000.

Also, maybe you need to show him Edmunds, Kelly Blue Book, and NADA, and the prices on all 3 for age and mileage. Each one is going to be a little different, and banks, loan places, and dealerships all use different ones. Also compare private party and dealer prices!

Finally, look at Craigslist for a car similar to his and see what they sell for. Then, look and see if you can find one like the Audi he wants. I am assuming that he is going to buy from a dealership instead of private party right? The only thing that does is cost more money. They still don't give you a warranty or any guarantee unless it is new, and then that comes from the maker.

I also do not like car payments, but I do understand that sometimes they are needed, but not $30,000 worth. I was thinking maybe 3 or 4000 tops! I guess I am too poor to think that a car worth that much is a good investment. Oh, wait, I worked for GMAC for 3 years, and I know, its not a good investment.

Good luck, but really, let him see the numbers and see what his "idea" will cost him, and you as a family whole. Good luck!

I haven't read all your other answers; sorry if this is repeating. Why doesn't he sell his luxury car for $40K, buy the Audi for $30K, and put the remaining $10K toward your down payment for the house? (Or is that too easy for him to grasp? ;)

If the car he has is not good for winter he should sell it or trade it in for a car that is all purpose. Makes no sense to have two expensive cars for one driver. Plus, it does not matter if the car is in perfect shape, the age will still decrease the value.

A car is not an investment. A car looses it's value the second it comes off the truck. A house is an investment or heck an investment account is an investment, but not a standard car, even a luxury model.
I see cars as something you drive, not something you save for later. The exception being antique cars. Don't want to go driving a 1920s Model T as your commuting winter car LOL
What exactly does he plan on doing with this car?

Absolute best thing to do is put an excel file together. List ALL the costs what would be involved in having both cars. (payment, insurance, maintenance, etc) And list the money you need for the house payment. Maybe once he sees it all on paper, it will hit home

I'm with you on this...he shouldn't get that fancy of a car. I'll go one step further and say he should use his current car and not get stuck with another one. It is already depreciating in value and requires upkeep. What happens when both need work? Now you have 2 bills to deal with. I guess if you have money then it doesn't matter but if you don't, I wouldn't buy another car.

I would not agree to this unless he bought an inexpensive car outright. If you want or need a new home, then you and he need to sit down with the budget. Why in the world does he need $70K worth of vehicles? If he can't drive the $40K car in the winter and wants a different car, IMO, he should SELL the car he can't drive (or won't) and buy one he can. From here, it looks like the $40K car was already a bad investment.

I'm sorry but I'm driving a 10 yr old car and while I would love a newer car, I wouldn't buy one I couldn't actually drive all year round. That doesn't make sense to me.

I would tell him that your family needs a home more than a car in the garage (where it might get mice, happened to friends) for a kid who may or may not want it in 10 years. The whole thing reeks of entitlement and over compensation.

ETA: you mention his heritage in your SWH. I'd think about what better appealed to his ego than the car. Like if he'd rather have an inadequate house or have his wife and kids drive around in a van that is in need of repair. Would taking care of his family (or the appearance of) matter more?

Someone else mentioned putting a newly minted driver behind the wheel of a fancy sports car. We've put three (if you count our niece) kids on the road and I guarantee you that you do not want that much power in the hands of a 16 yr old. My SS got into enough trouble in a Subaru (going 90 on the highway) when he was well old enough to know better. There are reasons kids' (especially teen boys') insurance rates are so high.

I would find out if he has some other motivation for getting the AUDI. i.e. because he thinks it would be reliable, because he thinks he "deserves" it, because it makes him feel safe/ in control/ etc.

Maybe he isn't ready for a move into a new home in the same timeframe that you are. Tying up $700 a month with a car, might help forestall that step.

Just because he's a guy doesn't mean that there isn't a psychological motivation.

Don't guess, ask, then ask what you might do to address that need in a more cost effective manner.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

A winter car is a CASH CAR, you know one that is 5grand or less.

Sports cars are not safe in the winter, he should have never bought it to begin with based on your weather/location.

My fiance has one too (sports car) and some days he has to use his Mom's SUV while his parents carpool (typical) because I will not let him use my car since even in an emergency I can not use his car.

I suggest that if he insists upon getting a cash car that you pay cash and pay 5k or less.

ETA: I will add that we bought his car when we lived in Tx and a sports car was not as unsafe during winter months.

I kind of get what your husband is saying. We have a very expensive sports car that I hound my husband about not putting mileage on... He shut me up some by showing me on Kelly Blue Book that the extra mileage doens't make that much difference in the resale value. So run the book value of the car with higher miles on an older model and see the difference in price as the years go by and mileage goes up. Then you can likely show your husband that $700/month is way more so net net, you're spending more. And an Audi?? Try an American model so repairs/upkeep aren't so high!! I can see his point if it's a beater type car... Maybe a $200/month payment at most... But the numbers on paper from the website might make things clearer for him.

I cannot in any part of my mind understand buying all new tires each and every year. I just don't get it. I can honestly say that I don't know anyone who gets all new tires every year. They get new tires when they get a flat or the tires go baldish.

If he needs a beater car it needs to be a car that can take a beating....thus the term beater car. It needs to be something that has no real value that can have a wreck and not worry about it being totaled. If he wants a new car he needs to sell his current one and get another one. Otherwise he needs it to be a total cash purchase that is not very much money at all.

I always tell my hubby that it sounds like a great idea as soon as he picks up that second job.

My husband works way too many hours to ever consider a second job, but I just let the ridiculous thought sink in.

First off, I don't understand why you have to buy new winter tires each year. Usually the set from will last for 2-3 seasons.

Second, he wants to save $1000 for tires, plus gas buy paying $700 a month plus gas for an Audi. Makes no sense.

no doesn't make financial sense.. but it would be fun to have 2 cars wouldn't it.??
my hub did this also.. he had a fun sporty summer car...which he said would increase in value cause it was rare. but in fact in less than 2 years it went down $10K and he sold it..

you have to insure both cars yearround...(even if it is sitting in a garage it could be stolen or catch on fire... have to be insured)

you will not convince him.. boys like cars.. men like cars.

I just hope you drive a rock-star car!

I'd want to put my head in a noose if my husband wanted to do this. All he is doing is allowing the car to depreciate for absolutely NO good reason whatsoever. Ack!

I wish much luck to you trying to get your husband to make sense with this...

He's dreaming about thinking he's holding the value of his car and his son may not even want it. But anyway, I think his idea doesn't hold water either.

I don't know how you can convince him bc I get the distinct impression he is stubborn, and this is definitely an ego man thing. But you can both sit down and figured it in black and white as the numbers won't lie. Also write out the pros and cons. Does he agree that you handle money better if so you may be able to use that. Does he agree about saving for a house, this could possibly be used to reason also.

It won't pay to get angry over this or call him stupid or say what he wants to do is stupid or crazy it'll only make it worse. Don't let this become a war.

The best of luck with this and no you're not missing anything.

No way - I'd put my foot down on that one. Try to show him mathematically what that money can do invested wisely.

It's very wasteful to tie up income in a depreciating asset that you don't need.

Kelly blue book values are ALWAYS higher than our local dealers.
I would look at NADA. It makes no financial sense at all.

We don't "do" car payments, so I'd never agree to this!!! Lol

Although I technically agree with you, I'm on your husbands side. If his only *thing* is driving a nice car, and you already live in a decent house, and you aren't struggling financially, and he is the primary bread-winner, then yeah, I think he should buy the Audi. Who cares? If it will put you in the poor house? No way. But if you can swing it financially and still save reasonably for the future, then I think he should have it. Happy husband, happy wife. JMO. Good luck.

I agree with you, but I don't know how you will convince your husband. Good luck.

The Audi may be a lot safer to drive in the winter - at least if you watch their commercials. If you can afford it, I don't see it as a big problem. My sports car takes $1000 worth of winter tires and eats a set of all weather radials (also $1000) about every 12-18 months on top of that. It only takes large and soft Z tires (one manufacturer - the second discontinued them) and they do NOT last very long. And it is still not great to drive in the winter. I think a safer winter car would be a reasonable solution. Now - I would NOT borrow money for it. But if I could pay cash - sure. I LOVE my car 11 months of the year and won't get rid of it because of the winter. Perhaps your husband feels the same way. Maybe instead he could keep looking for a car he LOVES that will also go in the winter.

My hubby has a fascination with vehicles too. We have three. I have a small SUV and he has a car and a large SUV. Two of the three are paid off. Since this arrangement didn't hurt financially, it was no strain. My hubby drives the truck in the winter and the car the rest of the year. This is practical to him, but these purchases were not made at the expense of other goals. Me, I'm going to drive my vehicle until the wheels fall off. :-)))

Do you have an extra garage to store his sports car? Unless you are renting a house with a three-car-garage, I'm assuming that he is going to park his "beater car" outside in the Illinois snow everyday while his "baby" sits in the car and depreciates? Is he going to disconnect the battery and drain all the fluids out of the sports car himself? And give the car a spring tune-up? More money. Don't forget the added cost of insuring a third car.

Is there any chance you can safely get your son involved and have he and your husband pick out a $40k cool-but-practical car that he would like to inherit when he turns 16? Maybe then you can talk your husband into trading in his sports car for something you can all agree on. Even if it costs a little bit more than the trade-in value of the sports car, it will still make more sense than owning two cars. Good luck to you. That would drive me nuts if my husband came up with a crazy idea like that too.

I think his thinking is, he's already spending the $700. for his current car so he's not really missing that money. Just remind him of the extra expenses (insurance, depreciation, maintenance, etc). Remind him that, hey, we'll have an extra $700. to save for a house, imagine how fast we'll be able to save x amount without the car payment. I coudn't even imagine spending that much on vehicles, we had a hard time spending $10,000. on our Tahoe. I also despise car payments, haven't had one in 15 years. Good luck, hope you talk some sense into him!

Did not read all the other comments. Have him buy a beater that is realiable in the winter but not something that will break the bank (pay cash!!). Put liability on it only (or full coverage if he drives far). No sense in having one luxury car in the garage and another one on the road. We keep our nicer car in the garage and hubby drives an old beat up truck Fri-Sun to work because he gets dirty/covered in chemicals. The truck was a price we could not pass up and will help keep the nicer car's worth (but not near 40K!) We were helping a friend out when they were selling it and we were in the market for a truck. Having a third car is not a bad idea. But not for $700/month. That is just luducrious in my opinion!