Help Me to Ween My 2-Year off the Pacifier the Best Way! :)

Updated on April 24, 2008
S.M. asks from Grand Rapids, MI
19 answers

Okay, I probably should have done this sooner. I am looking for any advice from you moms out there on successful ways you have gotten rid of the binkie. My daughter just turned 2 and I want to get rid of it. The only time she uses it is when she sleeps and when we are in the car. Occasionally when she is sad or gets hurt she runs for her binkie to sooth her. I just think she needs to get rid of it....maybe it is too soon, but I don't think so. Any advice is welcome. Thanks!

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J.A.

answers from Detroit on

S.,
If you put a small hole in the pacifier with a small needle or pin it will lose it's suction and won't be as enjoyable anymore and she will lose interest in it. Hope this helps. J.

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L.S.

answers from Detroit on

Start telling her about how big she is getting and that big girls don't hold on to baby things like binkies. Point out other girls her age that don't have a binky. Make a big production about her throwing away all of the binkies in the house and car and how big she is getting. Maybe also get her something you've told her only big girls can have. I only had one that still had his paci after about 6 months and it was very hard to get it away from him. I finally had to let him loose them and not replace them. It caused a few temper tantrums on his part but they were finally gone! L. S.

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K.W.

answers from Jackson on

Hi, I dont think its a big deal for her to have it hun, as long as she is brushing her teeth regularly, its not a big deal. Its soothing for her and most psychologists say that if they have something that comforts them, let them have it and when they get tired of it, they'll give it up on their own. This is not anything harmful for her or that will hurt her in any way. She just feels safer having it. Its like when kids have a special blanket or teddy bear that they use for the same purpose, we dont take those things. Despite whats been previously said about thumb sucking, pacifiers and nookies, it does not affect the growth of their teeth or cause them to be buck toothed. That was a myth that has been brought to truth in recent years, and like I said, as long as you brush her teeth once a day, it is not a problem (and sanitize her pacifier often). Good luck hun, but I wouldnt worry about taking it from her, shes still a baby at 2 and at that age, babies need any comfort they can get because they are learning so much so fast, and are very confused with life. God Bless and I hope it helps some!

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R.H.

answers from Detroit on

Alright I will tell you straight out, I will be in the minority here on this one.

I really really really do not understand why so many moms have this issue with the paci! We give it to our children to soothe them... and then get upset when they don't want to give it up.

Your daughter has it when sleeping and in the car. What's the problem?? She seriously will not get married with it in her mouth. Promise.

I have had dentists tell me there are no issues with the teeth if it is given up before their permanemt teeth come in. Which is like 7 or 8 years old. SHE will let you know when she is ready to give it up.

You could implement an 'only in bed' rule. Then you don't have to worry about it getting lost in the car. That is reasonable. We all have our 'things' that help us get through the day... or something we do when we need comfort. Why then do we expect our children NOT to need something to soothe themselves?

Having a paci past the age of 2 will not mentally scar your daughter. It provides comfort to her and makes her feel secure so she can sleep. Why is that a problem?

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T.H.

answers from Detroit on

I'll agree with Renee on this one. My oldest was in full time daycare from infancy- they encouraged no pacifiers once he left the infant room- he was fine with that, but kept pacifiers on his headboard shelf until age 4. He regulated it himself- used them only when going to bed, or chillin' out in his room. This worked, in part because, I told him I couldn't understand him when he talked with a pacifier in his mouth, and it was more important for him to be understood than to have a paci. For the last 6 months or so, he didn't even use them, just liked to keep them safe.

For what it's worth, my youngest, on the other hand, would never take one, even as a baby.

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L.C.

answers from Saginaw on

Hello S.,

This can be a hard time. I set adate and told my daughter that we where getting rid of them by sending them to the hospital for the new babies, so they will have one until their parents can get to the store.

I did not do this until she was 3 1/2 yrs. Her peditrician told me there is no harm in it. To tell you the truth it saved my sanity quite a few times.

Biggest advice is to go with your instinct. If you think she needs to be done with it then go for it but if you feel she's not ready then don't. At this age soothing is important because they still have a hard time with expressing their feelings.

Good luck.

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C.B.

answers from Saginaw on

My oldest son was very dependant on his Binkie. We finally made it clear that it could only be in certain places. It stayed inside, so if he wanted to go outside to play, it wasn't with him. We kept it in a certain spot on the dresser. If your son only uses it in the car and for naps, then it should either be left out in the car or on the dresser. And we also tried to "hide" it. It would get moved on the dresser behind something. It didn't take him to long for the binkie to be out of site and out to mind. If it gets left in the car, then he would have to take the time to help us go get it. I would let him in the car, but he had to find it. That happened once, he didn't like the garage with the big door closed. Good Luck

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L.H.

answers from Detroit on

The successful way I used to get rid of the binkie was to let it get lost and not replace it. My son would sleep with 1 in his mouth and 1 in each hand. Over a short amount of time he slowly lost them and I didn't replace them. When we lost his last 1, I told him I was sorry but they were lost. He dealt well with it.

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K.V.

answers from Detroit on

S. - I have two little girls. My were exactly like yours. The only time it was used was in bed, and car with certain occasions of comfort. Don't worry about her using it. My oldest child was 27 months when she gave her's up. My baby was almost 3. When my kids gave up their paci's, it was their decision (but I planted the seeds). With my first, I started to dialog with her like this. "Tara, paci's are for babies and you have become such a big girl. Next time we go to the Dr. office, I think we should put your paci's in a pretty box and give them to a baby at the dr. office. Babies really need a paci." I talked a lot with her about that and then one day, my neighbor had a baby and Tara came to me and said "I have a gweat idea mommy. We should give my paci's to baby Riley". I was shocked! I immediately jumped on it, we placed them in a pretty box and headed to my neighbor. I of course called her in advance to let her know what was going on. She made a big deal of recieving it. I had her secretly give them back to me just in case bed time was horrible. Now even more shocking was how easily she adapted. I couldn't belive how easy it was. She had a couple fitful nights, but nothing serious and no real tears to speak of.

My second little girl also only used her's in the car, bed and for certain occasions of comfort. She gave her paci's to my niece for her baby. She was pregnant at the time. She too did amazingly well. She'd say that she wanted it back or that she missed them, but all and all the transition was shockingly easy! I think you'll be surprised. Don't worry about rushing it. If she's only using it in the car and at night, it won't hurt her mouth.

Here are a few pictures of when my youngest gave her's away. It was priceless (and easy!) Paste these into your browser and you'll see. :-)

http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o106/imagineitphotos/I...

http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o106/imagineitphotos/I...

http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o106/imagineitphotos/I...

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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

Just suggested to another mom who's got a pacifier junkie. Try brushing some Thumz on it. That's the stuff to help kids quit sucking their thumbs. And it is icky tasting, so either the little one gets accustomed to the taste or they spit out the binkie.

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C.M.

answers from Detroit on

She is still a baby...I would just let her keep it. I only had one (of three) that had a nuk. My daughter was one who would have one in her mouth, one in each hand and 6 in the bed. She slowly "lost" them all. Supernanny had an interesting way of doing this. She tied all the "nuks" with pretty ribbons onto a tree and told the little one that the "nuk fairy" was coming to get them and take them to another baby that needed them. The next day all the "nuks" were gone and the little one had a thank-you note and a little thank-you gift from the "nuk fairy". It worked for her, but I think the child on the show was a bit older.
Anyway, like I said , I would let her keep it. She only has it for the car and naps and comfort. The sucking thing is comfort for little ones, if she is good in the car with it and sleeps better with it, let her keep it. I guess I would draw the line when she tries to talk THROUGH it or take it to school...then it is time.

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B.B.

answers from Detroit on

Yes, it is time to get rid of the binkie. I had to take my daughter's binkie away because she kept biting holes in hers and I told her if she did it again she would not get another one, and of course she did and I did not give in to her. I had to listen to a few tantrums now and then, but she understood and never had another one.
Maybe if you explain to her that she can't be a big girl if she has a binkie. Most little one's always think it is fascinating when you tell them they can be a big girl. Then tell her that you are going to put the binkie up for a little while and if she can do with out it for an hour then do it again for a littler longer until eventually she won't want it anymore.

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C.P.

answers from Detroit on

Hi S.,

i have 2 daughters and my second child was a little bit harder to break from the binky. All i did was cut the nipple part off and put it back where it was and let her find it on her own, which was at bed time, and she went to put it in her mouth and it fell on the floor lol lol, and she looked at me and said mama my sucky broke. So after of course i had to hunt others down and do the same to them! She was sad for a couple of days but she got over it. Just don't give in because that just shows them that all they have to do is cry and they get what they want. If you start early with them you wont have as many problems hopefully when they get older. I think we all hope for that! BOTH OF MY DAUGHTERS WERE BETWEEN 2-3 YRS. WHEN I GOT RID OF THE SUCKIES.

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N.W.

answers from Detroit on

S.,

My son has his until about 2 1/2, like your daughter only at night and naps at home (we didn't not take it to baby school) and for long car trips. Around 2 1/2 he seemed ready to part with it and we threw them away together. The first day or two he asked about it a couple times but it really wasn't too bad. I think you daughter will kind of wean herself, but if you really want to get rid of it-- go cold turkey, but involve her in getting rid of them, so she understands they are gone.

By the way, my pediatrian told me with the limited use teeth and speech were not an issue.

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B.B.

answers from Detroit on

If you feel that it is time to get rid of it, then just do it... Having or not having a "suckey" will not harm the child in a negative way... Its basicly a parent thing.
Personally once our munchkins turn 1 it disappears. They are so busy and tire themselves out everyday that they just forget its not there. Its when you wait until their memories are longer that you have issues with behavior when getting rid of it. Then you have to find ways to "justify getting rid of it" and get the child to agree.
So what ever you do
throw it away and deal with 2 days of fussiness till she finds a way to self sooth.
coat it in that thumbs stuff or just dip it in vinegar and make it "yuckey"
give it to someone else...
At 2 the mental ability would probibly only work with oh, no, its gone, can't find it...

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K.H.

answers from Grand Rapids on

This is about the same time we weaned our first daughter. I had to do it cold turkey....more for me than for her. Luckily enough we had a friend who had just had a baby. We told her that the baby needed the paci's now and big girls didn't need them. We had her put them into a plastic baggy and when we saw the baby, she "gave" them to him. She asked about them at bedtime for the next two days, but after that, we never had any issues. If I was to throw them away, I wasn't sure I had the strength to not pull them out! I've also heard of people using them as "cash" at the store and she can pay for something special at the store. Good luck!

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L.W.

answers from Detroit on

S.

I went cold turkey with my two older and it hurt for a couple nights, but then was over. A couple of my friends, however, had huge success with the binkie fairy, and when my 4 month old gets to that point I am going to try that route.

Your daughter is at the perfect age to "understand" who the 'binkie fairy' is. Make up a large envelope (at night when she can't see you do it) all decorated in a whimsical way. Inside write a letter to your daughter from the 'binkie fairy' that says she needs your daughters help...that there is a baby who has just been born who has no binkie and is soooo sad. So the fairy knows that your daughter is such a big girl now and doesn't need her binkie like a baby does....and she knows how great your daughter is at taking care of her dolls, etc....that she needs your daughter's help. Will she please put her binkie/binkies in the envelope and put it in the mailbox that night so the fairy can bring them to the baby. In return, for being such a big girl, the fairy will leave something very special for your daughter (of course, you need to get her something that will fit in a large envelope). Then decorate an envelope that is just as whimsical for your daughter. In the morning, take her to the mailbox to retrieve her "big girl" surprise. The gift will remind her of what a big girl she is. My girlfriends used "fairy dust" (glitter) and feathers for their envelopes. It was messy but very convincing.

This worked great for my girlfriends, but if my daughter doesn't go for it when it's time...I may transition her first to using her binkie for sleeping only....or just go cold turkey again and sweat through a couple nights of tears/her learning how to sleep without it.

Good luck with whatever you end up doing.

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L.F.

answers from Detroit on

Don't even worry about it. I have a 14 1nd 13 year old as well as a 2 year old. My older two LOVED their "Nukies"and "Babas"- Who cares! Can I tell you that my son has a 4.1 grade point in 9th grade and my daughter just got inducted into the National Junior Honor Society in 8th grade. I stayed at home -never put them in daycare, nursery or preschool. They are very well adjusted and secure, especially confident.They gave up their security items as they felt comfortable and no longer use them!(I'd say they were around 3-3 1/2/and I encoraged them to set it aside when they were not sleeping). I am going to do the EXACT same with my Nukie and Baba loving 2 year old and pray she turns out exactly the same!

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C.C.

answers from Detroit on

Hi S.,
My daughter's pediatrician asked to ditch the binky when my daughter was two. He felt that she needed to start learning other coping skills to get thru stressful situations and that it would be healthy for her to start learning how to go to sleep without relying on her binkie. We found that there is really no way of "weaning" from binkie. So we just took them. She looked for them for a couple of days, and it took her a little longer to fall asleep at bedtime.....but even that lasted only a couple of days. After 2 or 3 days, she forgot all about them. Our daughter was pretty dependant on her binkie, and honestly, if we hadn't taken it away, I think she would have kept it in her mouth for a few more years.
Whatever you decide to do.....best of luck to you! :)

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