For the last three weeks at day care, my son got into the habit of taking off his shoes. I figured it was just a phase. Well I went to pick him up yesterday and was told by one of the teachers (and then 15 kids) that he stripped down to his underwear and was playing in the water outside. Then today I pick him up and was told he stripped down to nothing in the classroom and then peed on his clothes. I'm at a loss of what to do. Any ideas, thoughts, experiences? Anything?! He's already being called "stripper boy" by some of the older kids at day care and I want to change that FAST!
Thanks to all who replied. This past week was "strip free". I changed his shorts to those with snaps and he loves them so much he doesn't want to take them off. He calls them big boy pants. As for the shoes coming off, we found the solution. We bought shoes that are the right size. He had outgrown his shoes without me noticing. So far all problems solved! Thanks for the help!!
I'm no therapist, but my idea is that he's trying to claim some kind of dominance over his personal possessions. Maybe there is a child at the day care that bugs him...or maybe he's just expressing himself like most kids. Takin off his shoes shows that he's a big boy.
On a more personal note, maybe he's "seen" daddy and is trying to copy but not realizing what he's doing.
Just a thought...
Good luck!
I can't help but laugh. I also work at a daycare. I've enjoyed caring for kids of all ages, but normally, the 1 yr olds and 2 yr olds. I have about 5 kiddos in all that love to take off their clothes. Almost all of them take off their shoes. (Boys & Girls) To a child nudity is not something to be ashamed of. Clothes can be like toys to be played with. It is enjoyable to take them off and put them on. I've got a little boy that does not like to have his LEFT sock & shoe on. Just the left! He has got everyone else in the class taking off only one shoe.
Just today, a 3 year old made a dash onto the playground and actually got all of her clothes off before the teacher could catch her. What people do not seem to understand sometimes is that the kids are not only quick, but do these things when the teachers are distracted by other students.
I cannot tell you how many times I'm in the middle of changing a diaper when one decides that's the time to either strip or try to bite.
In the end, what I'm trying to say is that this is normal!!! Keep a good sense of humor about the whole situation. Stop and laugh and enjoy the fact that your 3 year old has so much spirit. He won't be stripping in public forever.
Gods bless you & your son.
K. L.
You stated you are newly single. Not sure the situation but this could be your son's way of dealing with it. He's too young to understand what's going on he just knows that all of a sudden everything has been changed or turned upside down. I was a single mom for 6 years and went through a couple of phases similar to this with my son. You just need to make sure that you set aside time for the two of you to play or read a book or watch a movie together. Even though you won't be able to do these things for long periods of time all the time try to at least have your story time where he sits in your lap. You can also use some of these activities to try talking to him about what's going on. He needs to know that you both still love him and that you are going to take good care of him and that you are there if he needs you. My son and I were able to build a really strong relationship during this time and he feels comfortable telling me about everything even telling on himself for something he did wrong which still kind of makes me laugh that he does it. Once he knows that there are other ways of dealing with his feelings he should stop stripping. Good Luck
The advice of the others here is great, just a thought though. How does a three year old get all of their clothes off in daycare? I can't see how a teacher could let them get that undresses before intervening. Seems like better supervision would have kept the full nudity from happening. Also, how you deal with him yourself is up to you, but you need to have the teachers at his daycare on board with you on how to approach him. The kids calling him Stripper Boy can also feed into the attention he gets. So it is important that the teachers also deal with the name calling.
You might also want to dress him in clothes that are more difficult to take off so it slows hime down. I think an appropriate way for the teachers to handle it is to quietly remove him from the other kids when he is trying to take his clothes off and give him a minute or so to himself to redress. The teacher can remind him that we keep our clothes and shoes on at school. The important thing is to catch him before he is naked.
Maybe you could just put him on some clothes that are alittle harder to get out of (overall, shorts/pants with belts, button shirts) this would at least slow him down until the teacher could get to him and redirect him. If you do try this make sure the teacher know that they will have to give him extra help at potty time with clothing management. My daughter did the same thing with her shoes and socks. I think she felt proud that she could take them off and put them on all by herself. This went on for about 8 weeks now it is an old trick for her and she is moving on to other things. good luck.
You say you are newly single. I don't know how new, but your son is probably reacting in his own three year old way to his life being turned upside down. He doesn't understand grown up problems, but he does understand a stressed out mom and a suddenly gone dad.
Make sure that you are spending as much time with him as you can. I have found that my kids open up to me most when we are doing something they want to do -- walk to the park, read a book, play pretend, etc. I'm sure you may not have a lot of energy, but it is important.
As for the stripping specifically, reinforce that taking his clothes off in public is wrong. Have a consequence and stick with it. If this is a habitual problem, you could offer a reward for a week (or a day) without stripping such as ice cream for dessert or getting to watch a special show.
You didn't mention if he was potty trained or potty training. That could also be a factor that you might want to consider.
You have to remember that children don't have the same hang ups that adults or older children have when it comes to nudity. I realize that it may not be the best situation for him to reveal himself at day care, but if you let him know that it makes other people uncomfortable for him not to have clothes on AND give him an outlet to explore his freedom - he will get it. I have 4 boys and they understood that when we needed to go somewhere or when certain people were stopping by they needed to put something on because of the other people's issue with nudity. Just don't make him feel as if there is something wrong with him. Children at this age are explorers and boundary pushers. Negative reactions might just reinforce his attention getting methods. Good luck!
As a day care worker that deals with 3 year olds, I can tell you that it is a difficult situation to deal with. There are 15 kids, which means that there are 2 teachers. That many 3 year olds are hard enough to get under control in the best of circumstances. When you have one that strips, or throws, or any one of many things that we "should" be able to prevent, it is even harder.
I don't say this to make you feel worse. Please don't take it that way. I say that in response to some of the other postings.
Now, I would agree that difficult to remove clothes may be the best bet for now. It will make it harder for the teachers to send him to the potty, but that's a price they should be happy to pay for some modesty. It would buy them the time they need to stop the situation. High top shoes are fabulous for kids that take shoes off. (They are a pain in the heiny!) Lace them all the way, and double or triple knot them. That will also slow down the pants coming off!
The peeing on the clothes is the biggest concern, I would think. That is a major sign of distress. Separating is hard on everyone, but especially for these little guys.
Please, pull the director aside. Tell her (or him) to talk to each of the older kids. If these are schoolers, then shame on them! And, shame on the director for not nipping that one right away! I have heard of some teachers that think that the teasing will curb the behavior. Not with a 3 year old it won't. All you'll get from them is more attitude!
I can't even begin to imagine what all you are going through. Thank goodness there is a resource like this to get help! Good luck.
First I need to ask if you allow him to undress at home?
I have a niece that would do that same thing, with the exception of peeing her clothes. Her mother would allow my niece the be undress around the house. My niece got so use to being undress down to her underwear, that she would do it at any place.
Her solution was to not allow her to undress at home and always have clothes on no matter what.
Well, he apparently is liking the attention because he keeps stepping it up a notch everyday. I would react very neutral about it and let him know that it is inappropriate, but it is his body and clothes and amazingly, his choice too. Let him know that he can be naked if he wants, but it needs to be in the bath tub that is appropriate. If he continues to be disruptive at day care, let him know that is his choice, but your choice is to take away his ____________ until he chooses to follow the rules. Fill in with his most precious thing. TV, sweets, music, toy, etc. Then every other day after that if he continues to choose badly, take an additional thing away. HE will make a better choice eventually. As for you being newly single, well, I'm sure both of you are making adjustments and as long as you are there for him emotionally, then I wouldn't let his behavior slide because you are newly single. Yes I;m sure he needs adjustment time, but when is enough time? Will you let him act up for 3 months, 6 months, 10 years? You can't feel guilty and thus not make him be responsible for his actions or choices. You are newly single and that is a fact but that should not exempt him from having rules. He needs those rules now more than ever. He needs to know you care enough about him to take time out of your life to help him grow up to be a good man. To teach him how to make good choices. As for the shoe thing, well my son started doing that as well and I thought maybe it was the shoes. Tried different ones and he took them all off. Went to the store one day and was going to buy some shoes that he picked out inhopes he would keep on his feet and found out his foot had grown in 2.5 weeks a whole size!! He was taking them off because they were hurting him. He is 2. So bought 3 pairs in his new size and problem solved. So, check his feet. I never knew they could change so fast. I had bought some 2.5 weeks prior and had measured his feet then too, so I know they grew that fast! Good luck to you and your little man. Just know what seems a mountain today will be a grain of sand in 5 years. This too will pass.
Don't worry. It will pass! My son did the same thing at daycare at that age. (Although I have to admit that he never peed on his clothes.) What he would do is ask to use the restroom. Then he would ask for privacy, strip in the bathroom, and come out naked. He got a BIG reaction from the teacher the first time, so he of course repeated the performance.
Once he even stripped while I was at work and my hubby was in the shower. Then he unlocked the front door's thumblatch, unlocked the deadbolt, and went out on our deck naked! (We didn't even know he knew how to work the deadbolt!) That's when we invested in a chain latch that was too high for him to reach, even with a chair!
I talked to him about it not being appropriate to strip at daycare (or in public) and suggested that if he felt the need to strip he could do it here at home as long as we didn't have any guests. After once or twice stripping naked at home he got tired of it. I also talked to daycare about not giving a lot of attention and shocked reactions to it.
Best wishes!
I have a boy who's done these things. Most likely, he is feeling overwhelmed and out of control...this is his way of telling you that this day care is too much for him. Boys don't tend to do as well as girls in a day care situation...they are often a little older before they become ready to handle the social structure of a large group. You have to admit that a day care is often chaotic and stressful...he's just telling you that it is getting to him! Also, boys just go through a "free and easy" stage...they like their bodies...they are proud of them...and they want to show them off. Teach him, love on him...LOTs and LOTS...and maybe try to find a smaller, more calm environment for him. THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
Bless your heart. I am going to guess he's acting out a bit because of a change in his life? If you haven't talked to a counselor give it a try. I am sure you are both going through a lot right now. It's easier for you to express then him.
You can do this and be a great mom. You already are by reaching out for help.
Good luck.
