Help My 5 Year Old Snugglebug Is Too Snuggly!

hi sweety

my sisters daughters were the same way and the best thing she came up with was putting the girls beds in her room granted they were toddler beds. but when it was time for bed she would try to do some story reading and or make up storys. kinda get there minds on a different wave length instead of the same things you do every night.keeping the routine kind of keeps them settled on the same bed time nightmare, so change the whole thing how you do bed time should not be the same again. the cuddler gets a special baby(new one) to cuddle that took a couple monthes for my niece to get used to but dont give up or go back to the same routine. it took about six monthes and she finally had her bed back. then you can eventually put them in there rooms.

Hi L.

My two kids would not sleep with me but would sleep in my living room because that is where my husband and I would be until we would go to bed. My husband would often put them in their own bed before we would go to bed so they would wake up in their own bed. My daughter is 5 and my son is 2. With my daughter starting school we had to get her to start sleeping in her own room so we could get her on a better schedule for school. She was so insistant that she was a big girl because she was going to be 5 am was starting school. We told her that she was a big girl so she had to start sleeping in her own room because she was going to school and she needed to get a goodnights sleep in her own bed. She started sleeping in her own bed so we had to get m son to sleep in his own bed also. He loves the movie Cars so we bought him the Cars bedset and when we would put him to bed we would tell him it was time to go to bed and sleep with Cars. He would get in bed I would tuck him in and then leave his room but I would have to leave the light on or he would freak out. Later when I would go check on him he would be asleep on his floor. My daughter also sleeps on her floor. I let them sleep on their floor if they want to since they were sleeping in their rooms. All it took for my daughter to sleep in her room was to start school and feel more independent and more like a big girl and for my son it was a new bedset of his favorite movie. They both are now doing better at sleeping in thir own beds and not on the floor or in my living room. You just need to keep enforcing the fact that they need to sleep in their own beds whether it be with a special prize or a special day out alone with you or something else that they like doing. The more you enforce this the better it will get.

Good Luck,

A.

hi. i can relate alittle. i have boy who is eight now and his father babied him and always wanted him in our bed and i had to fight and struggle to break him out of the habit. so what i did was be real firm with him and explain to him that it was real uncomfortable with dad, him and i in the same bed since he was becoming such a big boy and made his room as cozy as can be and laid with him rubbing his back and of course he got up in the middle of the night slidding into my bed and when he i told him that he had to learn to sleep in his bed a would have to take him back to his bed and rub his back again. it was very tiring and have to admit i slipped a few times and wasn't real firm. then finally told after a year that we shouldn't have to keep rubbing his back every night and found that extra physical activities and a nice warm bath helped him sleep throughout the night. so of course now we'll give him a special night and he'll sleep with us. oh but believe me it was hard. sometimes he even made a pallet on my floor because he felt he needed to be in the same room, or even big sister helped out by saying dad and mom needs to get their rest so they can get to work in the morning and not have to ache so she offered for him to sleep with her and i guess eventually he broke out of it. work on it. believe me it won't happen over night but it'll work eventually. i know you miss snuggling up with your husband so put some effort into it so your husband and your relationship stays close and good. good luck. let me know how it works out.

Cosleeping and breastfeeding are both wonderful for the children and I don't think that either one would be the cause of the clinginess but I do think that for the sake of your marriage you need to get the kids into their own beds and hubby back in yours. Has Kate ever had a "lovey"? She might just need a comfort object like a soft blanket or stuffed animal. Also you could try letting her go to bed with a shirt that you had slept in and has mommy scent to it. Check out the Supernanny too, she has had some great success with how to get kids to sleep in their own beds and the tips I've learned from her show really do work if you are consistant. Good luck!

Hi L.,
I had this problem with my daugther also. When she was little I would hold her hand (they were so little and cute!!) but it became her "security Blanket". She wouldn't sleep with out holding my hand. It took me may years to get her out of my bed and into her own. I started by letting her stay with me but limited the contact, till she could fall asleep with out holding my hand. Then I started moving her out. That proved to be the hardest. She spend many nights crying and even more nights sleeping on the floor. I started a calander and gave her a sticker very time she stayed in her room at night, even if she spend that night on her floor. She had a goal and whenever she reached it I took her to the store and let her pick out something small as a prize. I started this when she was 3. She is 6 now, finally now staying in her room and sleeping through the night!! Good luck and hang in there.

D.

Hi L.,
I can feel you!!! I went throught the same thing with my son who is now 5. The best thing that the doctor told me to do was start putting her in her own bed alone, with his favorite teddy. It was very hard, we had to keep getting up in the middle of the night when he would come into our bed, but after a couple of weeks he finally quieted down, and stayed in his own bed.
What I did, was about a half an hour before bed, I would put him in his bed, read him a story, and snuggle for about 10 mins. When I left the room, he would cry and scream, and come out running after me, but this passed after a couple of weeks. It was very hard on us, but we made it through it. You also may want to start doing the same thing with your other 2 girls as well, this way, your hubby can "move back into bed" with you. You can also start a reward system for the girls, for each night they sleep in their own bed, make a chart and put a sticker under each of their names, and at the end of a full week, give them something, whether it be an extra 1/2 hour of T.V. on a Sat. night, or a small toy, extra time outside, Something that they enjoy. If you do it all at the same time with all the girls, you can tell them all "WOW! Look at all my big girls". It is also ok if you wake up in the morning and the girls are sleeping together,(according to my boys pedi. They are looking for comfort, but you have to be firm about them not sleeping in your bed. As for the ear thing with other people, if you are holding her, and she starts playing with your ear, just move her hand and dont say "thats bad, or NO!", IF she asks you why you are moving her hand away, then explain to her that it is not confortable for you, and you would like it very much if she wouldnt do that. In time she will stop. I promise!!!! Good luck! If you need you want to chat, just drop me an email!
Take Care!
J.