My 5 year old son is scared of EVERYTHING! He's very timid, but not shy. He has always been afraid of the McDonald's play area, he's scared to swing on the swing set. I've noticed it always but it really came to light while at the fair. Most 5 year olds are excited to ride the rides but he refused to ride anything or complained the whole time that it scared him. I practically had to drag him onto the carousel! So, my question I guess is if anyone else has a scaredy cat child & how do you help them to overcome their fears? I've tried telling him that the best way to not be afraid of it is to try it but I don't think it's working!
He may have some sensory issues. The fear might be due to his system interpreting things differently than most people; so it may not just be fear based. You may want to have an occupational therapist take a look at him for sensory differences. Blessings, S.
Hi C.. I am an occupational therapist who has worked with children for over 9 years now. In our profession we see kiddos who present with sensitivities to some types of sensory experiences. From your discreption, it sounds like he may be sensitive to movement, particularly vestibular movement. Sensory integration therapy can help with these issues if that is something that you would like to look into. I would google sensory integration or go to Barnes and Nobles and ask for some books on this topic. A good one for parents is the Out Of Sync Child. If you have concerns, you can then go get an evaluation and treatment may be recommended. Depending on the child's outcome, insurance can usually cover some portion of treatment. Hope this helps a little bit :)
Hi C.
I am a pediatric Occupational Therapist (OT). The things that you mention your son is afraid of swinging on a swing, the McDonald's play area, rides at the fair, the carousel, all suggest that your son might have issues with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD).
It might not be that he is a "scaredy cat" it might be his neurology. I would suggest that you find an OT that is trained in Sensory Integration and have him checked out. If it turns out that he does indeed SPD, then they can help you how to handle it.
Hi there C.
The best thing that I can recommend is that you model that you overcome something that completely scares you.
I am very arachnophobic, but let my son know that I am soooooo brave when it comes to taking care of spiders as far as he is concerned.
Start him off with one thing that he is afraid of at a time (ie swing set) and let him know that you are really proud of him being brave.
Hope this helps
J.
my son was like that for awhile. He was just hesitatant about things he never really had a chance to examine thouroghly before. My friend had a daughter the same age who was fearless. My son and her daughter did a lot of things together, so it was easier on him to try the playground, swings and slides etc when he saw her going on them. I took awhile and I didn't force him if he didn't want to go on them. Sometimes having a fried helps
Hi C., My son will be 7 in Oct and until he was 4, he would NOT even get CLOSE to the play-yards or any other ride for that matter. However, on a trip to CA with my mom, they stopped at McD's on the way there and my mom called on the cell and said he RAN right into the play yard and up to the top, just like that, it was the weirdest thing! So after that, he played in all the play yards but still no rides AT ALL at the fairs. We took him to the fair in Oct and he did go into the "fun houses" but nothing else. I have never forced him, I figure if he wants to fine, if not, who cares? But he LOVES to watch the 'thrill ride' shows on the travel channel, so go figure! His sister is 3 years older than him and could not be more different, she rides on practically everything! So I say don't push him and he will come around eventually. And if not, consider him to be a more "safer" guy! Good luck!
It does sound like he could have Sensory Integration Disorder. Imagine having Vertigo all the time. That is what kids with this type of issue feel like. If you can afford private pay or have insurance that covers Occupational Therapy then call and find one that has experience and skills in Integration therapy. Then have them evaluate your child.
If you don't have that option, you could try the public school district that you live in - through the special Education department (explain that it makes it difficult for him to socialize and play with the other kids, it would make Physical Education difficult and a "non-learning" environment as well. But school OT's probably do not have this specialty (that is why I suggest that you do it private pay or insurance first). Also getting your child evaluated through Special Education dept can take 12 weeks or more before they have to do the evaluation.
He is only 5, and a lot of things look scary at that age. Get on your knees and imagine the perspective difference. If it starts to become a problem in every day life, it is time to address it.
If he isn't having panic attacks and getting unrealistically upset, just saying no, I would see if he would be interested in trying it with a friend when he is a bit bigger or see if he will do it with you or even tell him this is a guy thing... grab a guy, your so, dad, grandpa, uncle. Boys respond differently to men.
I had a major phobia until this past year, and it came complete with panic attacks, which turned into either a fainting spell or a full blown asthma attack. I am finally ok, still nervous, but not in major distress over it. If he is doing that, you need to address it before he gets to be my age :)
my son was the same way, he's now 12 and has outgrown most of them. try to be patient and understand his individuality..
I know that's not helpful, so some parents would try to break down the process of getting over one fear, let's say the swing.
a parent may take the child to the swing when there aren't a lot of kids around and ask the child if they'd like to push or be pushed on the swing. they could push a parent or a stuffed animal/toy.
If that is still too scary, some parents may back up and take the child to swing when no one else is around and 'play' with the swing by putting dirt/chips on the swing or touching the swing in someway, eventually building up to sitting on the swing or sitting on a parents lap on the swing.
Some kids need a bit more control in their lives so it's not so scary...Looking at a swing, it looks like you have no control, someone pushing you higher then you might like, falling off, not knowing how to stop...
Some parents would choose to ask the child what it is that is scary, (most kids won't be able to answer) and a parent could demonstrate (this is how you speed up/slow down/stop.
Hopefully there's a choice that will work out for you and your son,
Good luck,
Along with the other advice you've gotten, remember he's 5. This is the last time in his life he can hold on to you (& you to him). If he's not ready to be brave, let him be.
I have also seen many scared/tentative kids follow a friend of sibling close to their age and do what I know they wouldn't have done otherwise---go on swings, climb on something, even getting dirty.
One suggested playing *with* the swing. Would he be okay to swing with you--in your lap?
Good luck. Whatever you do, as long as he knows you love him, he'll be okay.
I would first of all not make an issue out of it AND not force him to anything that he is afraid of doing it will only make it worse. he will eventually either do it on his own when he DOES see that his friends are doing it--- but if he doesn't there is no big deal. as far as going into the playground at mcdonalds that place scares me (it is too loud)
