Help! My Daughter Unlatches Her Seatbelt...

Sorry - but that's one of three actions that would result in an immediate spanking (swat on the butt, not a beating) and my LO knows that. It only took one time and she has never messed with it again.

We did turn around and go home immediately (after pulling over to rebuckle of course) several times to no avail on my tiny tyke. So I engaged a local police officer for help. I want kids to see police as helpers but they need to see them as law enforcement too. So he knelt down in front of her and said, "Buckle your seat belt it's the law."

It was very funny from my perspective, TV slogan and super deep voice but she was wide eyed. I said, "You need to keep that seat belt on or we'll get in trouble."

It not only never came off again, but she's a seat belt Nazi with everyone to this day!!

I tell mine if they don't sit correctly then the police will pull me over and yell at them or I will get a ticket.

Yours might not be old enough but if you see a policeman give it a try or have him speak to her for a min about it. You never know who they will need to get the message through. Even Daddy could be the one.

*funny story...we are military and sometimes we have to stop at the gate and get the car inspected to be cleared to drive through. The guys will try to make it easy on moms by suggesting the kids to stay in the car (since they are doing this more for practice sometimes) Well, wanting to get out and be with mom my little 2 year angel climbed out of her 5 point harness like it was nothing. lol An came running to me. Everyone checked her seat belt after I put her in. It was correctly done just a wiggly determined baby.
The next day, I accidentally locked her in the car, with car running while dropping her off at the day care with my keys inside. She just sat there starring at me. Didn't move a muscle. Had to call the fire department to get her out.

I would look into a product that covers the latches so she cannot undo them. Either that or a tray, as suggested, that blocks her access. I am astounded at the number of people who recommended spanking! That's something people do when they can't think of anything else and are just too frustrated. I was spanked as a child and it's horrible to grow up being afraid of your parents - and no, I wasn't systematically abused - but I was still afraid. You'd be hard pressed to find any reputable child development authority who endorses spanking.

I think she's getting a reaction from you and is feeding on the attention. I think she's too young to understand safety ramifications but she's not too young to understand immediate consequences that make her day worse. She doesn't need to understand danger right now - she just needs to understand that she doesn't get her way. You're right, you can't threaten her with something you cannot deliver on - so you can't say "you won't go anywhere" if you still have to take her places. I would consider taking her right home and putting her in her room, if you are close to home. Consequences have to be immediate at this age - telling her that something will or won't happen later on based on her behavior at this moment is not going to be effective until she's much older. Otherwise, if you aren't close to home, you can pull over and park the car, and get out so she can't talk to you. Take a book or a crossword puzzle to occupy yourself while ignoring her. Bore her to tears. Take away any backseat toys she has, her snacks and sippy cup, whatever - and let her be incredibly frustrated. If you have one of those DVD players, close it up. Wait 2.5 minutes (she's 2.5 years old) - that's an eternity. Buckle her up, start up again, and be prepared to pull over the second she unbuckles even one part of the harness. Do it every time - even if it means you have to leave early for appointments or not get every errand done. It shouldn't take more than a few days - just budget that into your time/schedule. Make this your priority.

She needs to see an authority figure in her face on this - if it's not you, I think a helpful police officer might get through to her, if that's possible.

This is one of the very few things I have spanked one of my children for. I think something that is dangerous like that such as running out in a street warrants a big wake up call. As soon as my son did it, I pulled right over, spanked his butt and told him not to do it again. It scared him and it was so hard to do it, but he never did it again.

We had a carseat that had a bench type harness. THe kids couldnt' reach the latches.
Two of mine could undo the 5 point harness.

Don't reason with her. Get a new carseat and move on.

I agree with disciplining her to prevent her from trying and to teach her that she has to obey the rules, but to prevent her from successfully unbuckling and putting herself at risk have you tried buckling it backwards so that the button to push down or push in to unlock the buckle is against her abdomen instead of face up? Depending on the style of your carseat this can be done by you pretty easily but is much harder for them to manage.

give me an address, i will be happy to send your daughter pictures of my left arm that got pinned back together after a car accident when i was ten .32 years later, the bones are misshapen and deformed. even try tying your shoes when you only partial use of one arm ?? ( no i am not looking for sympathy) bottom line, kids are maimed and killed every day thanks to car accidents. the next time your kid unlatches her seatbelt, get her out of the car, right then, and tell her, you can get back in the car when you decide not to do that again.
K. h.

PLEASE do NOT use a tray!!! If you get in a car accident that is going straight into her gut!! If you get into a bad accident and your car is squished, the tray has no place to go but in her!

Every time she unclips, pull over. Every time. She will learn she can't do this. Tell her that you're proud she can do it herself, and let her do it when it's ok, but you the big firm no for any other time. And maybe give her a small toy or coloring book (without a tray!!) to color. Her hands just may need something to do because she is bored.

My daughter does this too! She is also 2 1/2. She started earlier. (The travel tray didn't help, she pulled it off, she doesn't understand police just yet, time outs did nothing, turning around and going all the way home is usually not an option since we are getting my son from preschool). Some smart mama on here suggested covering the button with the prickly side of a velcro strip. It made it uncomfortable enough for her that it stopped her for quite a while.

Now she will occasionally ignore the prickly feeling, so I cut a piece of fabric and used the velcro that's sticky and doesn't require sewing made a little cover over the button. She plays with the fabric and does sometimes tear it off (It's tight, so it's hard to grab), but she has never gotten the cover off AND unbuckled it. We haven't had an escape in quite a while.

Tell her that not only is it unsafe, the police officer will pull you over and give you a ticket because it's against the law. Tell her your job is to keep her safe and if you don't do that, you'll get in trouble from the police. Perhaps even go visit the police station and ask the desk if there is a police officer who would inform your daughter how important it is. Then take a couple of pretend trips and actually turn the car around and go home if she unbuckles. Fun is over. Back to old boring home. Problem is, you'd have to enforce it when you're on a real trip, too. And you'd have to stick to your guns or she's going to think that Mommy isn't serious.

But try the police/ticket thing. That's what got my kids to stop messing with their seatbelts.

Good luck!

I did read through before posting. I agree with the spanking/swat and stern NO, WE DO NOT UNBUCKLE. I've done that AND I've also told them that if the buckle comes undone, the car stops. PERIOD end of discussion. Yes, it can take awhile to get somewhere.... but if that means they lose out of playtime at the other end, so be it.
The children do not understand the dangers of what they do when they unbuckle. We do and it's our job to protect them at all costs. Stopping the car, quickly, pulling over to swat, etc are all good. Just remember to hug that child afterwards and tell them how much you love them!
As an aside...... shortly after Hurricane Andrew, my sis in law and nephew were driving down the road and he refused to buckle. Sis in law pulled over and told my nephew that he MUST put on the seatbelt. She sat there for about 10 min while he finally decided that the belt wasn't so bad....considering mom suggested walking home in Miami and he was 5 yrs old! They continued on their way and at the next traffic light, a truck ran the light and rolled right over the top of their brand new car!!!! My nephew chipped his tooth! that was it! Thank God for the seatbelt and his mom insisting he buckle it back up!

when my daughter went thru that stage i went out and bought a washcloth and diaper pins that I covered the buckles and pinned it so she couldn't get to it. We had to do that for a few months. I bought a matching set for my mom's car too so we didn't have to worry about her doing it there. in the moment yes pull over - spanking is a personal choice (my personal opinion is life threatening issues, i spanked 2ce for running into the parking lot and 1 time for climbing over the gate at the top of the stairs. my now toddler - who knows!)

Maybe this would help. It's a travel tray. It looks like she wouldn't be able to access the crotch buckle.

http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId...

Update- S B. I'm curious if the tray your DD had, had a strap that buckled around the child's waist like this one does? I don't see how this one could get pulled off. I really like the solution you came up with btw :)

You are going to be so annoyed with me because I have no answer, I just want to commisserate with you. My kids don't undo the seatbelts but my 4 year old loves to open her door in the back seat. I can't seem to figure out how to keep them locked. Thankfully, she only does it when we are parked but can you imagine driving down a highway or something and all of the sudden the back door of the car in front of you opens up?

That will be my car.

-R.
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