Help My Son Feel Safe.

I think it's a normal stage, but you can try putting slide-chains on your doors. My sons are a little younger, but to keep "bad dreams" away (substitute "fearful things"), we bought small Hawaiian tikis. Lots of hugs & reassurance, too. Good luck - it's heartbreaking to have a little guy who has such fears!

I would first look into what he has been watching or what other kids have been telling him because it may be just that. Maybe some movie he watched where a kid was alone really affected him or maybe something happened to a classmate or kid at school that he heard about and it's really scared him. Another place to look is to maybe talk to the older boy and ask him why he thinks his brother is acting like that. Sometimes it's the sibling edging the younger kid on, almost like bullying them in some way to make themselves feel stronger. Another reason could be if there are problems between you and your husband. Kids pick up on that, especially younger kids, and they react in different ways. If say you and your huband were arguing a lot lately and even stopped talking to one another briefly, the way some of us do when we argue, your son may feel less secure in that sense, in the sense that you two might fight and split and that could cause him to feel less secure in his home environment which would carry over to how secure or safe he feels in general. These are just things to consider that do occur in families, which may or may not pertain to yours. Another couple ideas: why not let the dog sleep with him or by his bedside or why not get ADT or something like that to reassure him that as long as the alarm is on, the family should be safe. I wish you well and I hope your son feels better.

Hi D.,

My kids are still very small and don't have an ongoing fear like this, but I am thinking back to my own childhood and having that same fear! I would spend every other weekend at my Dad's, and he told me there had been a break in and my Step mom's jewelry was stolen. From that point on, I would lie awake until 3 or 4 in the morning terrified at every creak of the house thinking someone was breaking in....for years. Has there been any crime (like car break ins)near you that he knows of? Has he watched the news about child abductors? I would possibly check into getting an alarm system to ease his mind...it would be well worth the money, his fear may transfer into adulthood....we have an alarm system, and the peace of mind is wonderful!

My almost 7 year old is kind of like that too. Both of my kids are very protective of me. They are both boys and when dad is not home they want to be the "MEN" of the house. I am thankful for them both. But it is too much for my little one to feel like he needs to take on. I pray with my kids every night when they go to bed, and I usually pray for the little one not to have bad dreams and to not have any unnecessary FEARS. The fear thing is slowly started to going away. With God ALL THINGS are Possible.

Hope this helps,

Blessings to you and your family,

K. J.

" The Lord Bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; The Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace." ~ Numbers 6:24-26

If you have an alarm in your house and all of the windows are linked (meaning if you open one when the alarm is set it will trigger the alarm) you could show him what would happen if someone tried to come in with the alarm on. I know ours makes an extremely loud noise and doesn't stop until you turn it off. Of course your alarm company is going to call you immediately, so you will need to be prepared for that. Just a suggestion - I am not speaking from experience on this one. :-)

Good luck!
Sam

Has anything happened to cause this insecure feeling in your son.The only thing I can suggest is to keep reassuring him that he is safe and you are there to protect him. If constant reassurance doesn't help you may want to look into counseling for himand maybe that will help get to the root of his fear.Sending Hugs and Prayers to you and yours hope it all works out for you.

D.,
Try praying with him at night while tucking him in, my granddaughter has very bad nightmares and my daughter or I will pray with her before she goes to sleep. Prayer works and she sleeps better with prayer before she goes to sleep. I simply ask the Lord to put his protective hedge around her and let the angels surround her. I ask him to hold her in his arms as she sleeps. She loves me to pray over her at night and gets upset if I or my daughter forget prayer. Prayer does help. Have a wonderful day!
L. Jacobs

We had a hurricane rip the roof off of our house when my daughter was 8. She was affraid of rain and coldn't sleep for years after that. She is now 12 and still has some issues. We could not tell her that we would protect her and that she ad nothing to worry about, because she wanted us to leave when we thought we were getting a hurricane and we told her she had nothing to worry about. We tried reading the Bible to her at bed time, praying with her that God would protect us and never let us go through something like that again. Finally we realized that when she was over tired it bothered her more. She just needed extra comfort and support. To this day sometimes when she is over tired she needs one of us to sit with her and rub her back while she relaxes and gets all the fear out of her head. Sometimes I lay with her and fall a sleep before she does. It is a phase and he will grow out of it.

I guess I would try to figure out what started the problem...did something happen at a friend's house, was it something he saw on TV, etc. That may help you work out his fears. He's probably too old, but you could try some sort of "security" routine like saying a chant every night or something like that. Maybe having a police officer come to your house for a safety check could help. I know with fears you should focus on it as little as possible. Hope some of this helps. Good luck!

B.

Did something happen to trigger this behavior? Or did he just watch a scary movie? He may need to talk about it. You can get a security system installed, sometimes for free, and the monitoring is about $35 a month. I know that helps me sleep better.

To start with if your letting him watch the news, stop. Also don't talk about crimes in front of him. You yourself could be casuing the panic in him. If you must talk about news in front of him talk about the good people are doing and avoid the bad. My cousin had this same problem and actually didn't out grow it until after he was grown and married. He went and got help when he got married because it was driving his wife crazy. Come to find out someone had told him when he was little (just playing around) that they were going to take him away and he wouldn't see his family anymore. Some children hang onto everything they hear. You might want to get him some professional help if his fears continue. And again, do not let him watch news, and do not talk about the news in front of him. Buy hooks for the tops of the doors if you need to. Put in a buglar alarm. What ever it takes to ease his fears. You don't want him to be 24 and still afraid. Also talk to his teachers and let them know about his fears. They might be able to help. But don't try to force him to be alone. That will only intensify his fears. Also monitor what shows and movies he watches.
Good Luck!

Hi D.,
My daughter (now 28 with a 5 year old) went through a time of being
afradi too. She was a little younger than your son. I spoke to her
doctor about it and she suggested that before we go to bed at night to
walk our daughter through the house and show her or let her lock the windows and the doors. It worked! You might give it a try.
Good luck,

T.